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Author Topic: Mother competition.  (Read 6270 times)

Shurikane

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Mother competition.
« on: December 30, 2008, 09:29:28 pm »
ITT, your most hyperfertile dwarven mother of them all.

I've got one championess that's just given birth to her 13th kid.  I'm honestly surprised her offspring don't come out pre-preggers or something.

Did I mention my fort has an expert deconstruction team that's now 61 strong?
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Lexender

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2008, 11:05:19 pm »
Quote from: Shurikane on December 30, 2008, 09:29:28 pm
Did I mention my fort has an expert deconstruction team that's now 61 strong?

That seems incredibly useless and dwarvish. Expand on that please.

Congrats for your sexually hyperactive dwarves, btw.
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Shurikane

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2008, 01:00:01 am »


Sixty-two!  SIXTY-TWO of these friggin' buggers, over a third of my fort!

As far as I'm concerned, kids are nothing but household decorations with the ability to take a shit.
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SolarShado

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2008, 01:04:30 am »
Wow... reminds me of a point in Boatmurdered where the population was over half nobles...
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Neoskel

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2008, 01:15:57 am »
Quote from: Lexender on December 30, 2008, 11:05:19 pm
Quote from: Shurikane on December 30, 2008, 09:29:28 pm
Did I mention my fort has an expert deconstruction team that's now 61 strong?

That seems incredibly useless and dwarvish. Expand on that please.

Congrats for your sexually hyperactive dwarves, btw.

Children will help deconstruct things. That's who he's referring to.
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Urist Mcsurvivalist has been accosted by edible vermin lately.

Goblins: The fourth iron ore.

Lexender

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #5 on: December 31, 2008, 01:20:00 am »
Yeah, I'm feeling kind of dumb now.

Now, your next mission is to crush all 62 of them under a bridge, at the same time, and avoid a tantrum spiral.
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TettyNullus

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2008, 03:01:58 am »
Quote from: Shurikane on December 31, 2008, 01:00:01 am
*img snip*

Sixty-two!  SIXTY-TWO of these friggin' buggers, over a third of my fort!

As far as I'm concerned, kids are nothing but household decorations with the ability to take a shit.

Don't feel too stressed, my older fortresses routinely have half or more of population being children, no thanks to me giving them buggers too much idle time and nobles having nothing to do  ;D
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Pilsu

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2008, 07:55:01 am »
A child limit per couple would be wonderful  :P
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Plank of Wood

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2008, 08:01:18 am »
I usualy give my nobles their own personal lever, which I order them to repededly pull.
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Quote from: Girlinhat on August 14, 2011, 04:00:55 pm
The science of burning innocent children could be perfected into clockwork.
Quote from: MuonDecay on December 24, 2008, 03:11:21 pm
They're like little bearded corals.

Hakar

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #9 on: December 31, 2008, 02:20:40 pm »
She may not be a dwarf, but the current mayor of my gnoll fortress has 24 kids.
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A dwarf's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Fortress which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. Gold has not been proven not to exist, therefore it must exist.
Philosopher Prokhor Zakharov,
"For I Have Tasted The Plump Helmet"

woose1

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #10 on: December 31, 2008, 02:26:45 pm »
Quote from: Hakar on December 31, 2008, 02:20:40 pm
She may not be a dwarf, but the current mayor of my gnoll fortress has 24 kids.
Expand on that, please.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2008, 02:27:50 pm »
what's their to explain? he modded in a race of gnolls that he's playing as, and his gnoll mayor has 24 kids.
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Glacies

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2008, 07:56:26 pm »
Dwarven women apparently never hit menopause, and pop 1-3 out every nine months. Do the math. If they're a second generation dwarf, they usually get married at 14-16, and live till they're 180.

That's a lot of dwarves.
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Fist_Of_Armok

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2008, 09:16:21 pm »
Quote from: Hakar on December 31, 2008, 02:20:40 pm
She may not be a dwarf, but the current mayor of my gnoll fortress has 24 kids.

Which is even more remarkable if you presume that gnolls, like hyenas, have a
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Hakar

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Re: Mother competition.
« Reply #14 on: January 01, 2009, 01:51:29 am »
Quote from: woose1 on December 31, 2008, 02:26:45 pm
Quote from: Hakar on December 31, 2008, 02:20:40 pm
She may not be a dwarf, but the current mayor of my gnoll fortress has 24 kids.
Expand on that, please.

Behold, a screenshot:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Furthermore, she's my main miner, and put all these kids on the planet while strip-mining the surrounding landscape.
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A dwarf's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Fortress which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. Gold has not been proven not to exist, therefore it must exist.
Philosopher Prokhor Zakharov,
"For I Have Tasted The Plump Helmet"
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