Right then, I'll just go ahead and...
The Personal Diary of Soda, Competition Overseer
-1st Granite, 201
COMPETITION OVERSEER?! FUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!
FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCK! FUCKFUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK-FUCK OF FUCKS!
...
COMPETITION OVERSEER?!
Okay, let's calm down a little. Just a little, deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Okay.
...
COMPETITION OVERSEER?!
Let's see how this could have happened... I don't remember much of anything over the last few days. That is very suspicious. Furthermore, I am inside a wagon in the middle of nowhere. And not even a very pretty looking nowhere, there's a load of dead trees here and the area in general doesn't look very healthy at all. Also, what sort of fucking cheap diary has this small pages?
-2nd Granite, 201
Okay, it's still the first of Granite, but I'm continuing on the second page.
There's a bunch of dwarves with me, and they're all loonies. I guess we have to be to enroll in this... competition, which will take years and probably lives too.
First, there's Nim. She's a bit... above it all. She's talking about things like strawberries and sunshine and puppies and rainbows. While we're surrounded by dead trees in the buttcrack of nowhere.
Then there's Shoruke. He seems like a solid and ambitious, if somewhat unsympathetic dwarf AT FIRST. But he's also convinced that, in fact, we're all being controlled by an ancient human conspiracy. Hah. Like those too-talls could control us.
Next up is Robin. He's a young, naive dwarf, full of arrogance. He's the sanest one here, probably saner than me, but must've been easily duped into this competition with promises of riches and glory.
Then there's, well, he insist that everybody call him Fuzzy Cuddly Bear. I have no idea why. Sometimes he's depressed, verging on suicidal, and then
-3rd Granite, 201
he's suddenly leaping with joy and energy and working five times as fast as a normal dwarf. WEIRD. He also insists on being referred to as "The Great One", which is just further proof of how crazy we all are because we actually do. OH GOD, I CONSIDER MYSELF ONE OF THEM! KILL ME NOW STETTAD!
Ahem.
LegoLord ties with FCB for the weirdest name of the bunch. She insists on being referred to as "The Evil Overlord". I don't find her that evil, she's really rather reclusive and shy. Although I guess I could imagine her building some massive death-dealing machine in the hidden recesses of a dark cavern, but most dwarves could fit in that.
Finally, there's Umbar. He's a very distant person, even when you're having a conversation with him it's like you're sending letters. He also likes being around all these dead trees, which is a bit... off-putting, to say the least.
I also have this pamphlet with me. Didn't notice that before. I think I'll read it and then try to figure out how to fix this mess.
-4th Granite, 201
It's actually only the 2nd and I've got a plan. First, we dig a ditch so those abominable trees won't get to us. Next we strike the earth and make ourself a shelter. I've told the others to do that while I ponder. For some reason someone decided that leaving Robin on the other side of the ditch would be funny. The cats all ran away, too, lured by the fireflies. I'll eventually have to retrieve them, but for now we'll be trying to survive. Then we'll see about this competition.
I hope you like what I've written. You can influence the story too.