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[StrayCat]

First thing I'm going to say is a big thank you to Neoadept for making the wonderful mod and adding onto it constantly for all the zombie loving DF players out there, and Grieger for that lovely weapon trap I've yet to try out but I'm certain is going to be a real hit (The Blade Barrier ladies and gentlemen! Don't leave the mountainholme without it!). Second thing I'm going to say is that I haven't a clue how to print just the DF screen- do I have to do a screencap, paint, cut off most of the image, save it, save it to an online image storing place, then upload it, or is there a faster way? Third thing, if you didn't grasp this in the first sentence, is that this isn't your typical fortress. It's a zombie mod, where zombies have taken over a distinctly human world. There's the military, which is what I'm playing, with all the jackhammers and chainsaw glory. The corporate, which are the elves, but with incendiary weapons. The survivors, the poor sad saps who're living on the plains, or wherever they can- if they can, in this sad sad world. The Raiders, kobolds of the universe. And the zombies. Nasty sonsabitches. They do not fear, they do not cry, they do not hate, and barring some extreme trauma, they do not die. Oh, and the world is full of them. I believe I'm in the beginning of my third year here, and I've suffered something along the lines of sixteen sieges, and only one's left to my knowledge, whereas two more came to take it's place. The mods I believe I'm currently using are Greiger's Blade Barrier, Neoadept's Zombie Mod, and my own mace addition to the game, the FUBAR III (Which I plan on purchasing IRL when I leave for college, because frankly it looks like candied crack for someone who'll eagerly help any friend build or break something they're dealing with at the time.

I'm going to be modifying what really happens for a bit of storytelling, different things seen through the eyes of different people, getting in teh drama and teh funnies when I feel it's better than what happens. I do have some overall plans for what will happen (if the zombies don't interrupt with their dinner plans) and I guarantee you, one way or the other, this is going to get interesting.

Welcome to EarthTick. You're going to die here.


---------------------------------------------

A Record of Events as Writ by Ersi Dirlugel, Apprentice Record Keeper of the Deep Bunker of the Quick Gears Neltiago, Summer of 199.

I can't believe it. I  just can't believe it. The Count must be behind this, the Count or one of his loyal retainers. I'm to start a new outpost- oh, about fifty miles from one of the originally suspected infestation points. One of the original outbreak areas. Who knows- maybe if we dig deep enough we may even find the ruins of some town or city. I'm being sent to my death, along with six other luckless souls who must've earned the ire of the higher-ups. And they're making me choose who's coming with me.

I've been given an allotment of vouchers to spend before I'm forced to depart, and two officers- one to pick out the poor souls from the pool of malcontents, criminals, freaks, beggars, and unnecessaries and to see to it they can get training wherever possible in the areas I call for, the other to follow me around until I leave. She sleeps in the same room as me, for God's sake. Protecting the investment, I've been told. Watching out for my well-being. Very nice. It's a brilliant reminder that I'm not welcome here.

-----------------------

My time before my - bribe? Exile?- comes into effect is drawing near. I've made my purchases, and decided who I'm taking with me from the "security" of the Bunker to whatever Hell awaits us. At least I made sure none of the poor souls overly like cats...

I'll make a copy of my list and the colonists now in case I lose the receipt before I give it to the officer who'll find all my goods and people.

Checklist:

Dog Meat, 20
Rhesus Macaque Meat, 20
Turtle, 20
Deer Meat, 20
Dwarven Beer, 20
Dwarven Ale, 20
Dwarven Rum, 20
Dwarven Wine, 20
Plump Helmet Spawn, 50
Sweet Pod Seeds, 20
Cave Wheat Seeds, 20
Pig Tail Seeds, 20
Cats, 4
War Dogs, 8
Cages, 2
Cave Spider Silk Ropes, 2
Steel FUBAR III, 1
Plastic Jackhammers, 2
Steel Chainsaw, 1
Copper sub machine gun, 1
Sharp Tower-cap Blade Barriers, 6
Large, serrated Tower-cap discs, 6
Menacing Tower-cap spikes, 6

The people I've all seen and interviewed- along with countless dozens of unfortunates before them- personally, with no one but that officer bitch behind me, watching me like a hawk. I wondered frequently as I spoke to the more... unruly, lascivious, drunken, and violent ones whether that woman would even shoot any of them if they jumped across the table and tried to rape or kill me. I've gotten a general idea from their files- none of which I've had time to fully read, some incomplete due to bad bookkeeping by the rest of the idiots in this place, and all of which I'll be taking with me along with whatever I can find pertaining to this place. Here's my quick notes on these people, jotted down whilst leaning as far back in my chair from their breath or appearance or general demeanor, despite there being no escape behind me.

Tekud Cangoladgi, Female
Competent Organizer,
Novice Comedian,
Novice Consoler,
Proficient Miner

Prefers Familiar Routines, dislikes confrontations, finds immodesty distasteful, self-disciplined. Taller than usual. Drunk during interview. Seems to take life rather easily on whole. Eyed me in disconcerting way constantly. Fell on her face when stood up to leave. Seems happy all the time. Black hair, brown eyes.

Lomoth Ganuhpobe, Female
Novice Persuader,
Novice Negotiator,
Novice Intimidator,
Novice Judge of Intent,
Novice Appraiser,
Proficient Miner

Quick to anger, somewhat reserved, unassertive, relaxed, rarely happy or enthusiastic, appreciates art and natural beauty, finds helping others rewarding, willing to compromise with others, modest, strong sense of duty, self-disciplined. Very shy, no eye-contact during intvw excluding once. Asked if done a stint in the deeps, looked at me with such ferocity I held papers in front of my face for
remaining intvw. Seems happy to leave. Brown hair, green eyes.

Moto Angiraloc, Female
Proficient Maceman,
Carpenter,
Competent Mason

Unassertive, loves a good thrill, often cheerful, slow to trust others,  candid and sincere in her dealings with others, doesn't like to compromise with others, modest, confident, strong sense of duty, rarely does more work than necessary. Officer stood back against far wall to Moto when she came in. Accompanied by six guards, more likely to protect officer. Very... bubbly person. Asked if she did  time in The Deeps, said yes. Asked if she wanted to leave, said sure. Licked lips often. Little bit chapped. Said I had a pretty face. Said I had a pretty smile. Said not to be nervous around her. Said I could trust her watching me sleep. Think she meant "Trust her to watch over you while you sleep." Praying she didn't mean "Trust her to watch me as I sleep." Leaves with a bounce in her step. Giggles often. Has a manic look. Scarred about the face, cuts on the cheek. Has leg wounds from bullets. Jumped on table and showed me, lifting her skirt. Dozens of scars. Guards pulled her down. Waved goodbye when she left, calling out to call on her sometime. Blond hair, icy blue eyes.

Pobe Mebenrislu, Male       
Proficient Wood Cutter,
Proficient Axeman

Quick to anger, not a risk taker, rarely happy or enthusiastic, dislikes confrontations, modest, strong sense of duty, thinks it is incredibly important to strive for excellence, possesses great willpower. Very laconic. Circles under eyes. Walks like has back injury. Accompanied by two guards. Asked if did time in Deeps, gave me a Look. Said no. Looked at guards. Officer looked at guards. Guards looked at each other. Mebenrislu closed eyes. Guards stayed silent, but looked angry. Nodded. Hasn't done time? Odd. Asked if he'd committed crime. Guards nodded rapidly. Opened eyes. Said "Yes." Answered... Oddly. Asked what he could do. Said he was a good woodcutter. Lopsided smile. Asked if he's been in long military service. Said Yes. Asked what was his weapon. Smiled again. This time only right side came up. Said Axe. Red hair, hazel eyes. Soldiers tan.

Shem Quazoaco, Male
Novice Building Designer,
Novice Armorsmith,
Novice Metalsmith,
Novice Furnace Operator,
Novice Wood Burner,
Proficient Mechanic

Can handle stress, unassertive, very active, tends not to openly express emotions, dislikes confrontations, finds immodesty distasteful, has a sense of duty, strives for excellence, is self-disciplined. A great find. Abnormally short, 5' he says. Used to be Military Engineer, asked what he thought of Logistics. Ranted a bit. Smelled strongly of beer, ale, and cheap liquor. Did not come in drunk. Calmed down quickly. Looked at officer angrily. Asked if wanted to leave here. Laughed loudly. Repeated under breath "First we dig it, then we die in it." I asked again? Looked at me. Smiled. Said "Can do." Unsteady on his feet. Always moving hands. Addict? Peppered black and gray hair, blue-gray eyes.

Escu Thimethescu, Male
Novice Fisherman,
Novice Thresher,
Novice Grower,
Novice Herbalist,
Novice Brewer,
Novice Ambusher,
Novice Butcher,
Novice Fish Cleaner
Marksman

Quick to anger, rarely feels discouraged, can handle stress, very friendly, unassertive, greatly appreciates art and natural beauty, tends not to openly express emotions, slow to trust others, willing to compromise with others, finds immodesty distasteful, has a sense of duty, self-disciplined. Smiles often, bombastic. Uses many adjectives. Part of the Cook Service. Joked about how an army travels on its stomach. I laughed. I may take him for sheer novelty of a normal person. Was he hitting on me? Did he hit on the officer?! Easy smile, seems a bit mocking in the back of my head, but a charmer. Face like a child. Brown hair, green eyes.

------------------------------------------------

The depressing thing is, these are the best I could choose. The guards of the Baron I spoke to regarding my decision looked overjoyed when I mentioned I was taking Moto Angriloc. Officer smiled. I felt even more nervous. I do not like where this is going...

------------------------------------------------

This is going to Etrupuc. It's the night of the end of summer, and we're heading off. One wooden cart, dragged by oxen. About enough protection as a toilet paper condom, this thing. Here I am, the fucking picture of success, heading off into darkness and some hellhole that even the baron called a hellhole. I've got my papers, and I'll be reading up as much as I can on that place during the ride. They're all in the cart, crammed between barrels and whatnot. The animals are on the deck below, next to their feed which will be depleted by the time we get there. Thimethescu and Pobe are setting up hammocks, Tekud is drunk and singing with Shem, some dirty song about a girl named Polly Oliver or something. What an unlikely pair. Lomoth is being talked to by Moto, who is gesturing rapidly and gabbling on. God save me, I'll be traveling with these people for months.

I hope this ride will be uneventful. But I doubt it.






And so it begins, ladies and gentlemen! Now, I am something like three years in, so yes, they are going to survive the ride. After that? Who knows! I'll be updating this whenever possible, but don't expect too much over this weekend. That's all folks!

[userpay]

Whats the link to that blade barrier thing? Can't seem to find it. Anyway seems like an interesting fort.

[StrayCat]

Huh. I did a good search around for it myself but couldn't find it. I still have PM's saved from him about the trapcomp though, so I'll just post it here to help you out!

Just put this in the trapcomp file in the raws-> objects folder.

Code: [Select]

[ITEM_TRAPCOMP:ITEM_TRAPCOMP_BLADEBARRIER]
[NAME:blade barrier:blade barriers]
[ADJECTIVE:sharp]
[DAMAGE:80:SLASH]
[WEIGHT:100]
[HITS:6]
[MATERIAL_SIZE:5]
[METAL]
And put this under entity_default.txt in raws->objects as well under whichever civ you want to be capable of making this sucker:

Code: [Select]

[TRAPCOMP:ITEM_TRAPCOMP_BLADEBARRIER]
Truth be told, I haven't had opportunity to test it myself, but darned if it doesn't look just wonderful, now don't it?

Oi, and I should have a post worked on tomorrow night. Emphasis on should, ladies and gents.

[jester]

Nice.   But I dont see an anvil or a bullet mould, are you running 0.7 or 0.6?  if its .7 ill be interested to see how you even survived.  looking forward to following this through.

[Neoadept]

Fantastic!  I'm going to have to keep an eye on this, it's already reminded me that I have to at least rename subterranean plants for the next patch.

I look forward to the adventures of this band of sociopaths (it's nice to see the personality traits I assigned to them in action).

[StrayCat]

Nice.   But I dont see an anvil or a bullet mould, are you running 0.7 or 0.6?  if its .7 ill be interested to see how you even survived.  looking forward to following this through.

Oh aye, one trade caravan's already died and they didn't drop an anvil, so I do admit I might be in a bit of a pickle given that it's been one more fall and I've still yet to see another caravan, but as for the zombies... Well, even I surprised myself with the quick solution I came up with. I was pretty proud actually when the first siege rolled in with no weapons, no assigned soldiers, and no defenses and I still... er, triumphed, for lack of a better word.

Fantastic!  I'm going to have to keep an eye on this, it's already reminded me that I have to at least rename subterranean plants for the next patch.

I look forward to the adventures of this band of sociopaths (it's nice to see the personality traits I assigned to them in action).

Wee, Neoadept responds! I don't have a way for this to update with the patches, so we'll just have to play along when you rename them or whatnot. I was going to pass them off as nicknames for the booze and plants, and dwarfs as a moniker for those who dwell in the mountain bunkers, personally. The traders still say mountainholme and dwarf. Continuing on monday maybesomewhatperhaps!

[StrayCat]

Let it be known that I've begun typing this at 11:46pm on monday, my local time, and thus I am not beginning this late! Now then, there's been some issues, and you, the humble viewers, have the opportunity to aid me in my struggles. After posting my last in here, I've tried "Continue Game" and "Load Game". I do this, the game freezes. Whenever I try to continue, I see on my windows task manager two copies of Dwarf Fortress.exe trying to run. Two little dwarfy icons, one above and one below, and neither responding. One window is automatically generated when I try to load my game for Etrupuc. Bugger me. Oh, and the Errorlog says:

Unrecognized Skill Token: WEAPONSMITH

So that can't be a good thing, now can it? Oh, and this shows up if I don't END PROGRAM: \

Microsoft Visual C++ Runtime Library
Runtime Error!

Program: ...or\My Documents\Downloads\DF_28_181_40d(3)\Dwarffort.exe

This application has requested the Runtime to terminate it in an unusual way. Please contact the program's support team for more information.

Ladies and gentlemen, there's a few choices available to us while I take some soundings to hear whether or not anyone can fix this so's I can get my game loaded, even if it's saves earlier, even if it's at the very first time I've saved, don't care, I want the story running.

A) We decide to ditch it and start a different fortress. Makes me sad, but I want a story for this mod... no matter what. We ignore this thread or call it a practice run and move on!

B) I wait and do some adventures in the wilds fighting off grizzly bears and raiders and hiding from masses of zombies and explaining my take on the backstory of the place, maybe even some character depth-adding whilst waiting and hoping this gets fixed by you or it fixes itself.

C) I start the fort on the same world, but regen the world, and get different names, different personalities, and likely, a different future. The overall plans shall remain the same though, and I can simply ignore the name and personality listed changes for these seven soldiers and stay with what we've got. None've you know what's happened, and the future is a very uncertain thing, as we all know, eh?

In the meantime, you all get some writing. Because I love ya'.


------------------------------------------------------------

In the corners of my mind always shining all the time! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey the wolves circle pelts coated in blood from the trees hidden waited for us they are here.

"Oh hey pretty lady, there's going to be fourteen bandits-"

"Twenty."

Oh the shiny speaks he doesn't talk I've seen him run he doesn't run for us a man's second face is his legs feel the fear coursing through the arteries the blood sings sanguine in duodecem?

"Twenty?"

"The trees. The pits."

I was distracted they will all die crush them in a hit!

"... Haha, kidding, twenty bandits coming to take our stuff and rape most of us!"

"What?! Oh good God protect us!"

And I shall answer my pet-

"Aww, no need to call me that silky skin."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Record of Events as Writ by Ersi Dirlugel, Apprentice Record Keeper of the Deep Bunker of the Quick Gears Neltiago, Fall of 199.

We have passed out of the mountains and into the higher vale. There are more recent buildings about of abandoned fortifications and outposts overrun by raiders or the infected, festering here until enough resources are gathered to take them back. Fires have been burning in some areas as we pass them, and silence hangs like a veil in the darker areas of our path, and though I would admit it to no one, sometimes... I see things. Shapes, flitting from tree to tree, in the corner of my eye, when we must journey with no lamps at night for fear of finding something more tangible greeting us, like a knife. No zombies move so fast. Must be different wildlife... Different biome, different creatures...

A day finally came when our luck ran out.

Moto interrupted herself and her current conversation with Pobe- more information could be gleaned from speaking to a bedpost- and crawled to me in a way that toed the line between seductive and obscene.

"An ambush waits for us," she said, eyes running up and down my body. I turned away from her, looking ahead of the road, a keen eye out for danger.

"Fourteen-"

"Twenty," said Pobe, making me turn, eyes nearly popping from my skull. Some times he went days without saying a word, his hellos and goodbyes, affirmations and negations all translated to slowed blinks, a cant of the head, or a noncommittal shrug.

"What?" said that ghastly woman, eyebrows curling in overemphasized confusion.

"The trees. The pits."

The deranged woman tittered and lightly smacked her palm with her weapon. She spoke quickly, showing no expression of emotion at the monologue of Pobe's.

And then it was. Not "And then it was there", or "and there it was", but "And then it was", almost as if by spontaneous creation. A man, presumably, cloaked in rags, standing before our wagon not ten feet from us. The oxen stopped dead in their tracks. Where had this specter come from? What did it want?

It smiled a predatory smile as I shoved my head fully through the calfskin flap of the wagon, running it's- his eyes over my body. I repressed a shiver, and blinked slowly as Moto clambered out like a bleached, overgrown spider behind me, weapon in hand and standing so close to me I could feel her breath pressing on the skin of my neck.

"Why do you obstruct our way? Begone and do not attempt to hinder our journey." The man in rags bowed low from the waist, spreading his arms wide, palms to the sky. He put in my mind a soldier cheeking an officer, an officer which couldn't do a damned thing to discipline the brute.

"Beggin' yer' pardon miss, but this is a good ol' trade toll an' inspection o'goods." He grinned widely, showing cracked, blackened, and even tarnished teeth amongst the gristle of his supper.

"We'll start with an accountin' of all yer goods for repossessin'. An' then we'll move onto the rest of the little ladies in that there cart for reposessin' too!"

A vice-like grip closed on my shoulder. I heard movement to my left as Moto took a step, and turned to see-



------------------------------------------

Har har, cliffhanger! Yes, I did just change my writing style to suit the character personalities. So cognizant of you to realize! I feel special now Unreliable narrator indeed. An invisible cookie to the one who spots the unifying theme amongst the two perspectives. Oh, and another dozen to the one who fixes my fortress!

[Neoadept]

Hm, I'm aware of the [WEAPONSMITH] thing, but it never kicked up any problems for me aside from the error log.  Really, it's just there so that the military doesn't try to use bullet molds as weapons.

But, if that is the problem for some reason, it's a relatively simple fix.  Open up the Item_weapons file and do find/replace, changing WEAPONSMITH to an actual weapon skill, like HAMMER.  I think you'll have to change it in nine places total for version 0.7.

If that doesn't fix it then I can say with some confidence that it's not my fault.  Have you tried redownloading Dwarf Fortress and transferring the save and mods over to the new copy?  That might work.  Or take it out of the downloads folder, that might be making things a little screwy, somehow.

[StrayCat]

"Etrupuc Isn't Working For Shit"

This is a well-designed image of an angry face.



This image is in reference to Straycat playing around with DF for days and not getting diddly squat out of his save file. He has resolved to restart this fortress by using the same site, starting build, and plot plan. The names shall be changed to protect the innocent. And he shall do his best to hold to the currently constructed build of the place, though no one really saw it so it doesn't matter to anyone but his own neuroses. This was engraved in the Winter of 2009.

Topic will be changed to ETRUPUC: NEEDS MORE BRAINS when I get this set in motion. I can practically -hear- my computer laughing at me...

[jester]

Im torn between telling you to leave the weak to die and start over or praying for a zombie miricle.  Even if you dont keep going with this one can you at least tell us how you survived your first seige without guns?

[StrayCat]

Downloading the new version, starting a new map, gonna use a few personal mods I didn't last time, such as making ogres, trolls, nightwings, brutes, bloaters, and harpys [ANY_LAND]. Because I feel the extreme need for slaughter. By the by, demons are turning up as something else. I'll post ideas for the actual modding of them later, for I'm the sort of wanker who'd suggest the creatures for a mod that isn't his. Map generation has already begun, and I'm looking for magma pipe, river, underground river, high savagery, high evil, lots of wood, flux, planting layer(s), and a relatively small map size. Should only take a few (dozen) map generations!

Now then!

ROCKS FALL EVERYONE DIES. Grab the cheetos and keep out the doritoes, we're still going. Reroll guys, it's a new session. Forward, for glory! Tim, take the axe off of Nick, we're not having a repeat of Tuesday's incident.

GRAB YER HAMMER AND CHECK YER GRAMMAR (Or I'll beat you with oranges dammit!), ETRUPUC SHALL RECOMMENCE SOMETIME NEXT WEEK WITH THE NEWEST VERSION OF NEOADEPT'S ZOMBIE MOD.

[StrayCat]

Right! Late though I may be, I've been rowing and partying in fun amounts, letting my story fall a little by the wayside during the holidays. Got a little sidetracked with left 4 dead folks (if anyone has a 360, PM me, maybe when I renew my subscription we can bash to the monster mash in L4D together, too many annoyances on Live). But I've genned 26 maps to try and get the specifications I want, but no dice. Ah, well. I've sent off the zipped folder containing the modded files to a friend of mine, and he'll respond if he can make the location I requested. Talk again later!

[inaluct]

Alright, I PMed you one. It has all of the required things you have except for one, a river. Judging by the circumstances of the rest of the map, it's probably good that it's not there. I hope you have a good computer.

PM me if you want a different generation. I don't think that the absence of a river will be terribly limiting, based on the other map features, though. I'm experimenting with trying to place rivers near all of the other features in the mean time.

[StrayCat]

Expect an update later today gents, and not just exposition, a location update. Things are going to be...

fun.

[StrayCat]

Earthtick II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO


-----------------------------------------------------------

Histories of by Anir Gatshibewa, Record Keeper and Founder of Earthtick, Summer of 99



Suckers.

They all bought it. Every single goddamned one of those fools bought it. Hard for them not to, they've been blinded by how far their heads are shoved up their ASSES. I'm out, I'm clear, and for the first time in my entire life, I AM FREE, HAHAHAHAHAAA!

I swear, I'm the only person ON THIS PLANET who can rob a bank and END UP RUNNING AN OUTPOST. Want to hear a joke? Right, so this girl walks into a bank and pulls a shotgun out of her pantleg. As a warning shot, she shoots a guardsman in the face.

"FACES DOWN, HANDS ON YOUR HEAD, AND ASSES IN THE AIR" she says. Everyone drops down, and any sly fuck who tries reaching for something in their now highly visible pockets is gonna get a cunt full of lead. Two lackeys run up to the vault, a third one enters, disarms the traps on the door and opens the thing up, leaves, and the two extras start grabbing bags of cash, running out the back and tossing it into a waiting cart. When they're done loading, one of the two haulers tell the driver to get his ass inside, there's a trap they need him to spring. The driver walks in, looks around, and says,

"Where's the trap?" And the two guys pull out SMG's and pump the fucker full of lead, hahahaha! So the two haulers are staring at each other for a moment. Poorly paid, bitter, vitriolic, stupid, predictable haulers that they are, I can tell you exactly what they're thinking, to the letter:

So we just killed the driver. More money for us, the boss said. More for me, and I get behind that sort of thinking.

So now I just got to wait for this guy to turn around and kill him so's we cut another share, then. Bet the boss'll like that. Wait, he's still looking at me. Watching me. Oh fuck! He's gonna try and kill me! That bastard!

And then they shot each other, hahahaha! One's been hit in the legs, but he got a throat shot and a half-clip's worth of gutshot in on the other. The woman comes in and hefts the winner up, throwing him over her shoulder. "Swear I can't leave you kids alone for a minute!" she says! She brings him iinto the main room and tells him to keep his gun on the meat, she's gonna have a word with the President of the Bank. He reloads his SMG and keeps his gun on the field of asses, haha.

She walks over, picks one up, and drags him behind the remaining hauler. "Now I have some questions," she says, "and I want some straight answers. Now for some reason, I don't think you'll tell me the truth if I just ask real nice, so I'm gonna give another little demonstration to show you I'm a very serious sort of person, not to be taken lightly." She hits the man in the chest with the shotgun and cycles a round into the chamber. She gives him a little smile, and shoots the other hauler in the back of the fucking skull, spraying spinal fluid and brain chunks all over the President, hahahaha!

"Now then- will you unlock the safe I know you got in the painting of a ring on your wall so I can take all the papers inside, or am I going to have to shoot your feet off?"

She gets the papers, and still shoots the guys feet off. She goes back inside to give things one more check, maybe shoot someone else for laughs, and every single guard in the district breaks into the building! She turns, shotgun to her shoulder- and stops dead, looking at the guard in front of her in shock.

"Just what the fuck are-" she says, and every guard there shoots her 'til there's more lead in her body than blood, hahahaha! She drops to the floor - the bullets rattling about when she hits the marble- and every guard starts running around the building, checking for other robbers. The guard she was looking at nips out back, gets into the car loaded with cash and some important documents, puts on her glasses, and rides off!

Course, there could be another punchline to this. Namely, that the guy the crazy unmedicated warrior forgot to shoot the other hauler herself, make sure he was dead instead of, oh, him writing in his own blood my name on the marble before bleeding out. Not as funny though, so I'll stick to the other punchline.

I get hauled (haha!) to the duke in charge of the district, and he starts ranting and raving. I say a few quiet words, coincidentally which appear on several sheets of paper that I got out of that bank, and he dismisses the guards, and we talk for a bit. I walk out of the room worth half a million less, but ready to organize a party with some friends for my "exile". Motherfucking exile? I'm getting a few weeks to take care of business (copy some documents, hide them, mail some things to officials, piss in holy ponds, that sort of thing), a group that matches exactly what I ask, and all the supplies I can fucking think we'll need. Exile? The place is out in the middle of fucking nowhere, without a law in the world but what I'll say is the law! They can't control my actions anymore, and I won't need to do a single thing for anyone else at all! This might be the beginning of the prime of my life!

Etrupuc- Earthtick - what a great name for it? I've got plans for you, my little plot of land...

I'm gonna suck this place dry for everything it's got, I'm gonna wring every goddamned ounce of worth out of it, pretty it up for the feebleminded, make up a reputation for it, and I'm gonna sell the goddamned dry husk of shit that's left to the highest bidder. I'll move again... and do it all over.
 
-----

16th Slate, 101, Mid-Spring.

Oh dear god... I can't believe we're finally here. And looking at this place, I don't know if we ought to kill ourselves right now. Not the first time I've thought that recently. We've finally stopped moving, running, hiding, and praying... for this? This place looks fucking miserable! The moment I got out and looked, I sat down on the ground and had myself a good cry. I told everyone to bugger off and do something, I don't care what, just fuck off...

After I cried for what seemed hours, I rubbed my eyes and had a longer look about the place...

Dirt. Rock. Boulders. Hills. A giant fucking mountain. A big fucking hole. More dirt. And some foxes Quazo was chasing around so she could hump the things to death and bring them back to cut the fuck out of.

A bit later, I called Tunul, Ulco, and Coni over and asked them just what the fuck was I looking at. Tunul, my mason, carpenter, and maceman for when things get nasty spoke first.

"Over there we can see the edge of a bottomless pit," he said, pointing calmly at what I thought -was- the biggest hole I saw before I was told it was just an edge. "Think I can see... Giant bats, maybe batmen from here. Could be both" he added helpfully.

Ulco, my engineer in general spoke next, staring alternately at the ground, two inches from my face, and off into the distance. "I suggest we carve out defenses immediately" she said. Well, probably wasn't going to be getting more out of her, so I nodded, and looked at Coni, wondering just what the hell must have spooked Ulco enough to want to hide in a bunker so quickly. Coni knelt down and took a handful of dirt, crumbling it in his fist.

"Well, I've got good things to say and bad things missie. I'll keep it brief so's you can go off and run off into the forest and never return before nightfall," he said, the slimy fucker. "We've got a soil layer right where we're standing. Tha's good, we don't need to dig far before we can set up a farm underground. However, there's a load of rocks, boulders, and whatnot all around, and the wall we're next to is made o' gabbro. Tha's bad. The soil layer's gonna be small, we'll need to expand soon. I can see Rhyolite, gabbro, obsidian, -and- marble from here. S'good. We've probably got active magma nearby. Bad thing of that is, I mine in the wrong spot an' the place could be flooded with magma." He grinned his usual shit-eating grin at that.

I stared around, wondering if I should've just gone in front of the firing squad and be done.

"Flooding this place in magma might be an improvement. Tunul, Ulco, sort things out. Coni, start mining. I'm gonna go pass out and wake up later, and hope this was all a bad dream."

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Every single thing you just read is written, not spoken. A person who writes maniacal laughter bears watching. Preferably from a great distance. Yes, there's supposed to be a massive personality change. No, it's not a permanent change. Megalomania? Maybe. Depression? Maaybe. She's just had an extremely shitty few months and a slightly shitty two years. Oh, and she genocided the corporates. Long story. Yes, I'll probably get around to telling the entertaining tale of their sojourn through the forests.

I started typing this at 11:21pm! Not late! Not late!!