Actually I've noticed that outright submissive girls are much more likely to be main love interests in shoujo mangas that in shonen. Inuyasha was written by a woman, as was e.g. Chobits. And then you have western romance novels, same deal as the above.
For shonen manga/anime, where you say the girls react passively to events driven by the protagonist. Perhaps that's less to do with male expectations and more to do with the idea that the story is about the decisions and actions made by the main character. Generally unless they're an antagonist, all characters are pretty static and defined by their relationship to the hero in this type of thing, regardless of being male or female. Antagonists act in a way that spurs the hero to action, male ally characters may be rivals, female ally characters may be love interests. Either way, these side-characters don't tend to run off deciding things for themselves, unless it's there to drive the plot for the main character. But it's always the actions of the main character that advance the plot past any obstacles, since these stories tend to be coming of age metaphors, and about taking action. Considering that it affects male side characters as much as female ones, that could be more of a limitation of the genre and storytelling conventions than it is about sexist portrayal.