Diary of the Queen
29th of Granite
Well diary, I have begun keeping a diary again, because I no longer fear someone reading this. I have a security apparatus that rivals that of the ancient emperors! With the flick of a few levers, I could seal myself in my palace, and flood the temple with magma, and the fortress with water. I have slaughtered all those who have opposed me! I have slaughtered the non-believers who attempted to breed!
Ahhhh....the silence these past years has been wonderful! It has been roughly ten years since the horrid cries of a filthy baby were heard here in Blockedlance. All the snot-nosed heathen children and infants were impaled on spikes or drowned. It is simply grand!
I do wish I had a child of my own though....
Oh diary, the Duke is dreamy! But he keeps saying he's not ready for babies and marriage. Well he was ready enough to shag me rotten in a puddle of that food taster's blood wasn't he???
I think it's because Im so old diary! I saw myself in the mirror the other day, and theres GREY HAIRS in my beard!!! I had to spend several hours with that legendary clothier of ours so he could dye my beard back to normal again. We had to mix dimple, emerald, and red root dye, along with some other herbs and roots to get the right shade for my hair. It smelled something awful!
Oh well. Gotta run diary, I'm meeting the Duke in the death pits again. I'm gonna pull his lever and get impaled by his spike.
PS - Fuck Peasants!