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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432203 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #930 on: September 12, 2009, 04:29:11 pm »

Just been cacthing up on this after a LLLOONNGG absence.

2 WHOLE abushes? Alone? Good God.

Do I have a title now?

Yeah you've had a title for years.  You are Lord Akigagak Citylancers, the Romantic Flayer.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Akigagak

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #931 on: September 12, 2009, 04:37:57 pm »

AWESOME.

Or perverted.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #932 on: September 12, 2009, 04:50:38 pm »




The horribleness of epically horrible horriblosity has befallen dwarfkind!!!!

It's terrible!!!

See, my computer needed wiping, cuz it's going on 9 years old.  So I got everything important off my hard drive and onto my flash drive.  I even saved two different DF folders (I had several DF folders on my computer full of modding and stuff). 

However, I just discovered that I did not save the right folders.  Ugh.

It's not as apocalyptic as it could've been though.  I have a save of Blockedlance as of Spring 234, the beginning of Chapter 10, the very season that that damnable elf died in Armok's temple.  His foul elf blood has cursed us all!!!

So now we have time-travelled back to spring of 234.  The Gods hate me.  This is punishment for my assbaggery, my tomfoolery, and my stoned blasphemous ramblings, I am sure of it.

Well you know what?  The Gods be damned!  The QUEEN will prevail!!!!
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Akigagak

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #933 on: September 12, 2009, 05:14:53 pm »

So we're back to before giant elf slaughter?

Damn.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #934 on: September 12, 2009, 05:53:32 pm »

Its a kick to the balls that's for sure.
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Akigagak

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #935 on: September 12, 2009, 05:55:31 pm »

Yeah, but we get to do the giant Elf slaughter again.

Killing Elves is the important thing.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #936 on: September 12, 2009, 07:34:46 pm »

Rifotkubuk Pranced Upon



Far to the north of Blockedlance, on the other side of Sil Gomath, the elves of Ayithele gathered in an old ruined forest grove.  They could not remove the dwarves of Blockedlance from the unholy mountain's corruption, but they could remove the corruption from the dwarves.  They surrounded themselves with ancient wooden idols and amulets.  And there in that grove they pranced...they pranced as though they had never pranced before.



Their prancing and happy thoughts summoned their ancient and forgotten Goddess Ayelawethy, the Most Pranciful One.  Ayelawethy pranced on down to Blockedlance in her leafy bikini.  Armok manifested himself at the gates, intending to stop her...but Ayelawethy's body was so fertile, and her breasts carried the bounty of all of nature within them. 

Armok Cancels Kill: Interrupted by Boner

To make a long story short, Armok had some fun, smoked a cigarette and then passed out.  While he was slumbering, Ayelawethy marched on Blockedlance unopposed.  The dwarves fled in terror at the sight of the loving nurturing Goddess.  Ayelawethy did the unthinkable; she blessed Blockedlance and banished all evil spirits!  Squirrels and chipmunks replaced the Goat Demons and Fire Demons.  The stone walls of Blockedlance crumbled under the weight of the plant life.

When Armok awoke, he was horrified to see what had become of his great hellhole...



"Ohhhhhhh fuuuuck...." said Armok as he watched the moat gently flowing like a brook around the old mossy stone walls.  A light mist met his face as the wind blew.  "It's...it's...pleasant..." he said gritting his teeth.

"I wont go down like this Elf Slut!!!  I will travel back in time and stop you from ever having any power over this place!  I will travel back in time and stop that blue elf blood from sanctifying my unholy temple!!!"

With that, the Dark Lord lifted his hands.  The water turned murky and black, the land turned ashy and withered.  Blockedlance was returned to it's proper state, three years in the past...
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 05:10:14 pm by MrGimp »
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #937 on: September 12, 2009, 07:36:35 pm »

Strangest time warp I ever did see.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #938 on: September 12, 2009, 07:51:09 pm »

Have sex.
Do the TIME WARP, MOTHERFUCKER.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #939 on: September 12, 2009, 10:40:15 pm »

Alright, I put Randall, Samus, and Typoman back in.



Interesting things to note -

Filusinox, your dwarf Fil is alive again.

LegoLord is alive again (and is our longest-run forum dwarf again).

The Human Diplomat Dunem Trickscars is still alive, but still glitched and immobile by the glass windows.  There is no human caravan in our stairway...but Im sure theyll be back.

This sets us back to page 57, the post that has the picture of the spring status screen.  It was posted July 12th, and two months later, on Septermber 12th, we are right back there.    >:(
« Last Edit: September 13, 2009, 01:27:53 am by MrGimp »
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #940 on: September 13, 2009, 12:58:01 am »

What about the Microline Menace?

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #941 on: September 13, 2009, 01:07:45 am »

You might not believe me, but I actually had one in a cage in the arena.  I drew a little graphic for it and everything.  lol

I was about to make the former rebel soldiers fight it... but then...it was erased from existence...
« Last Edit: September 13, 2009, 01:20:51 am by MrGimp »
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Christes

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #942 on: September 13, 2009, 10:07:22 am »

Metaphysical question:

Is Christes affected by this?  I mean, if dwarves can come back from the underworld because of the time loop, then it highly suggests that the underworld wwas affected as well.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #943 on: September 13, 2009, 10:11:55 am »

I hope- waaaaaitaminnit
Tradan will be alone and sexless again!
D:

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #944 on: September 13, 2009, 11:02:30 am »

Metaphysical question:

Is Christes affected by this?  I mean, if dwarves can come back from the underworld because of the time loop, then it highly suggests that the underworld wwas affected as well.

Christes, Tradan, and even Myth are unaffected by this.  The time loop goes back only to the beginning of post 851 on page 57.  You are all still safely experiencing eons of misery.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.
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