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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 434387 times)

Randall Octagonapus

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #900 on: August 26, 2009, 04:15:52 pm »

Okay Randall and Shamus, you're in...



I put you in Lord Dullard's squad, The Held Lances. 

Hmmmm....Held Lances?  Seeing as how Blockedlance is when a girl wont have sex with you, I guess 'Held Lances' describes what you have to do afterwards?


thx
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would you like a slice of one humped camel cheese or two humped camel cheese on that elf burger?

Aldaris

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #901 on: August 27, 2009, 10:11:07 am »

I was gonna post an update, -but then I got high.

Fixed.
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
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Typoman

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #902 on: August 30, 2009, 12:33:07 am »

Just read through the whole thing. amazing work! can't wait to see what terrible depraved acts happen next!
if there is anyone as yet unclaimed i would like a dwarf, make it whomever you please, hopefully someone with some chance of survival hehe.
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #903 on: September 01, 2009, 03:44:46 am »

Just read through the whole thing. amazing work! can't wait to see what terrible depraved acts happen next!
if there is anyone as yet unclaimed i would like a dwarf, make it whomever you please, hopefully someone with some chance of survival hehe.
How about a mechanical death computer?
Someone made a DF calculator thing, I'm sure we can twist that into something dwarvish.
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Typoman

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #904 on: September 02, 2009, 09:23:41 pm »

something that activates a room-full of spike traps 20 times then floods it with water?
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Eagle

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #905 on: September 02, 2009, 09:44:34 pm »

Arrgh, MrGimp hasnt been on for a week. Dammit.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #906 on: September 04, 2009, 05:42:09 pm »

Arrgh, MrGimp hasnt been on for a week. Dammit.

A pox on the gimp!
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #907 on: September 04, 2009, 05:58:22 pm »

The Queen secluded herself away with the Ducal Heir, Mafol Sabretwilights.  First she attempted to hide away with him in her room, then in the royal garden (she had confiscated the peasant river garden, sealed it off, and made it hers alone), she even fled to her underground storage room...but pesky dwarves kept approaching her with problems.

"I have no work!" shouted one.

"You're working me to death!" shouted another.



All day long she had to conduct meetings with these miserable creatures.  They were never happy, no matter what she did, and they wouldnt even let her get her nookie on.  Most of the dwarves were totally nuts and suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you know, from all their babies being impaled and what not.  Two of the military dwarves just stood in the corner chattering to themselves, and had been doing so for years.  Another civilian dwarf had taken to attending meetings with the Queen, but never moved from her spot.  This wasn't even to mention the strange melancholy of these humans who do not leave.  A force has drawn them here, and keeps them like a magnet.

The human lovers Dunem and Dema remain in their eternal arguments at the top of the main stairway.  Dwarves must walk past them constantly as they go about their day.  The miserably tall ones are starting to make all the inhabitants of Rifotkubuk nervous.  It is known that the humans have no stomach for Dwarven life, and in a place such as this, where only the mightiest can even meekly survive (psychologically), it is almost guaranteed that these humans will snap one day and slaughter many a dwarf.


« Last Edit: September 04, 2009, 09:36:46 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #908 on: September 05, 2009, 12:15:10 pm »

Spring 236



So the Queen and the Ducal Heir were locked below all winter and into the spring.  Our military is dwindling, and the problem is made worse this year.

A goblin squad ambushes us this year along the southern wall.  Lord Akigagak slaughtered them all singlehandedly.

But then the elves came.  In the west, the crazy berserker Jazz held off a squad.  To the south, Akigagak held back another.  MadMonkey24 stood in front of the temple, so that no elf could further desecrate Armok's sacredness.

In  the west, Jazz was being overwhelmed.  Mad Monkey joined in as the salughter of elves crept closer to the temple.  Lord Dullard made his way to the battle along with Randall and Shamus (dont worry Samus  ;)) and the rest of his squad.  They pushed the elves back out of the main courtyard, but more elf squads poured in.  Lord Dullard and his men ran to meet them, and the tide of elves was pushed back.  As they began to flee, they shot fireballs into the mass of dwarves.  Poor Shamus, he burst into flames and was cooked inside his armor.

After the elves had fled, the dwarves mourned the loss of another champion.  He was taken below, and placed in a temporary tomb until the Dwarven Valhalla Cave was finished.



The two dwarves that had burried the body were squadmates of ol' Shamus.  Samus and Typoman sat in the depths of Blockedlance's catacombs remembering their friend.





"I'm gonna miss that ol' Amish bastard!" said Typoman.

"Aye."  Samus scratched the back of his head.  "He was a good friend.  It's like a part of me has been burried this day."

There was a somber silence.

Typoman spoke at last.  "Well...let's go get some booze."
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #909 on: September 05, 2009, 04:21:12 pm »

Dwarf Fortress: The only place where a best friend could die and... hey, is that booze? I love booze.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #910 on: September 05, 2009, 04:45:00 pm »

Sit down everybody I have shocking news!!!!

The hemaphrodite Human Diplomat Dunem Trickscars has killed him/her/itself!



Dema Tuneslop is devestated.

Many a dwarf gathered around to watch him wail in agony at the loss of his beloved.  The dwarves of Blockedlance had learned to find joy wherever they could, and they often found it in the misery of others.  They're sick like that.



Eventually they had to move on, though, as Dunem's body began to rot.  For some reason, they would not bury the crazy human's corpse.  So he/she/it just sat rotting at the top of our main stairway.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #911 on: September 05, 2009, 04:51:38 pm »

Meanwhile, back at Eagle's cave...



Eagle had dug a big vein of limonite out, and was planning to smelt it.  First, however, he wanted to get the muddening process going (yeah Im making up words, so what?).  He began feverishly pumping water up from below.  He was a bit overzealous, and eventually flooded his cave garden.

(I actually forgot to tell him to stop pumping even after I took this picture.  It became really swampy down there.  I had to dig out more rock so that the water level would go down and evaporate.)

Say, let's take a look at what Eagle's wearing shall we?



Shoes, a sock, and a backpack.  Now THAT's fashion sense!
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #912 on: September 05, 2009, 04:54:56 pm »

Disregard nudeness, aquire high taste in fashion.
And be a hermit.

Eagle

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #913 on: September 05, 2009, 06:43:09 pm »

Haha wow. Also, how the hell am i smelting things? Do i have some coal in there? Or did i steal a bunch of charcoal?

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #914 on: September 05, 2009, 07:21:29 pm »

Haha wow. Also, how the hell am i smelting things? Do i have some coal in there? Or did i steal a bunch of charcoal?

You have yet to smelt anything Im afraid.  You stole an anvil and made a forge, then you stole an axe so you could chop down tower caps.  You had watered a bit of the garden before, now you have enlarged and watered the rest of it.




You built an atom smasher too...because you already have a ton of stone crafts and blocks and mugs, and you need to clear the tower cap farm.

Heres the floor a couple floors above your tower cap farm.


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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.
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