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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 428108 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #735 on: June 16, 2009, 04:03:21 am »

Hahahahaha!!
He is letting his nerves get the best of him!!

BTW, how is the tomb coming along?
Are our coffins fine and dandeh?

There are more tombs than residences.  There are many levels for the dead.  You have to be specific when it comes to Blockedlance.  Which tombs are you referring to? 

Do you mean the catacombs?  Theyre getting bigger every season.  I just built a new wing.  The stone isnt even cleared off the floor and its almost full.  Ive added a little bit to the nobles' tombs, too.  Or were you talking about the Dwarven Valhalla?  That projects on hold and has been for a while.  I have done a bit of work on the floor above it, though.  The Valhalla will be huge.  Three floors at least.  With a river damnit.  And tower caps.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #736 on: June 16, 2009, 04:16:09 am »



Myth was brought the great news the next morning.  After the mayor's meager rations of mushrooms and water were cut off, his body gave in to his crippling wounds.  The last few remaining guards that had been trained and paid by the House of Erib were shocked and horrified at the sudden loss of their patron.  The future seemed absolutely bleak.

"What ever shall we do, sir?" asked a guard, with tears nearly forming in his eyes.

"Pfff....I dont know about you but I gotta go take a shit," said Myth as he took off down the hall whistling merrily.  He had every reason to be happy.  His last rival for power was dead, now he controlled the fortress.  With the queen locked in the temple, and the military soon to be back indoors, Myth felt relaxed and confident as he squatted in the morning sun.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #737 on: June 16, 2009, 04:33:33 am »

Until constipation struck.

Hey, was that the last Erebite or did I miscalculate (blech, I'm tired)
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #738 on: June 16, 2009, 05:20:12 am »

Yep, he was the last.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #739 on: June 16, 2009, 12:24:20 pm »

Hahahahaha!!
He is letting his nerves get the best of him!!

BTW, how is the tomb coming along?
Are our coffins fine and dandeh?
I mean Christes and My coffins.
I wanna know if they are safe! :3

There are more tombs than residences.  There are many levels for the dead.  You have to be specific when it comes to Blockedlance.  Which tombs are you referring to? 

Do you mean the catacombs?  Theyre getting bigger every season.  I just built a new wing.  The stone isnt even cleared off the floor and its almost full.  Ive added a little bit to the nobles' tombs, too.  Or were you talking about the Dwarven Valhalla?  That projects on hold and has been for a while.  I have done a bit of work on the floor above it, though.  The Valhalla will be huge.  Three floors at least.  With a river damnit.  And tower caps.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #740 on: June 16, 2009, 01:46:26 pm »

Yeah your tombs are in the Valhalla cave.  Your bodies are lying peacefully next to each other....a lot more peaceful than your tortured souls. 

But its all unfinished.  I havent put any statues in there or things like that up.  And the Valhalla cave is only 1/3rd or 1/4th carved out.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 02:00:45 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #741 on: June 16, 2009, 02:00:00 pm »

Myth grabbed some leaves from a nearby shrub and finished up.  Then he pulled his pants up and started walking back into the fortress.  He stopped by the moat to wash the 'mud' (wink wink) off of his hands.  He then went inside.

As he rounded the main corridor he was shocked to find a sword in his face.  His men were stripped naked, blindfolded, and chained and shackled together in a line.  MadMonkey24 was holding the sword to his throat, Myth could see the demon engraved into it.  He admired the fine detail.

"The jigs up, loser," quipped MadMonkey24.  Myth couldnt believe it.  He looked towards his chained hapless men.

"You idiots!  I was only gone for fifteen minutes!!!" shouted Myth. 

One of the axelords came out of the old hospital, and informed Lord Dullard that the mayor was dead.  Lord Dullard was visibly shaken by the news.

"Oh wow....the queen is NOT going to like this.  She really wanted to torture that guy," Lord Dullard thought for a moment, then stared at Myth.  "Okay men, take these prisoners down to the temple.  Let me help you with that one, Monk'."

"Sure," said MadMonkey, never taking his eyes off his captive.  "Ohhh man I wouldn't want to be you right now!  Hahaha!"
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #742 on: June 16, 2009, 02:02:26 pm »

Glorious!
I bet if Myth had been taking a dump in the fortress this wouldnt have happened!
(but that wouldnt be so sanitary)

mythmonster2

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #743 on: June 16, 2009, 03:20:05 pm »

I'm surrounded by idiots, it seems.
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Personally, I can't wait for doctors to get possessed and start surgically attaching axes to champion soldier's arms.
And neither can I...

Byakugan01

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #744 on: June 16, 2009, 07:18:31 pm »

Well, you might be a Napoleon, but you never had the army. BTW, framerate question: how much gobbo stuff is lying around the map? I found my framerate on one map instantly improved one i started smelting the gobbo stuff. By the way, how's the diplomat? You'll want one of the two, diplomat or liasion, alive to get back into trade with the humans-you *can* go back to peace without a diplomat. But my liasion was still alive at the time, so that might have been because he was still around.
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #745 on: June 16, 2009, 07:24:50 pm »

The prisoners were brought forward into the temple altar.  They were broken shattered dwarves at this point.  The events of the last few weeks - nay, the last few years - had been horrible.  In fact, ever since they had journeyed to this cursed montain on the edge of a swamp (now a desert) life had become meaningless.  It was just one fucked up moment after another.  And now, at last, it would come to an end here, on the altar to Urist's God.

Myth was blindfolded, along with his men, but he recognized Urist's voice when she spoke.

"You think you are all about to die a quick death, yes?" asked the Queen as she paced back and forth, looking the prisoners up and down.  "Well what makes you think Im gonna be so nice, hmmm?"

Myth felt dizzy.

"Let it not be said that I am without mercy, for I will grant you death.  We are preparing a room full of single wooden spikes.  As soon as it's ready you lot are going in there.  Your death will not be quick.  For now, you will be locked up in the old hospital."  She stopped in front of Myth.  "Lock this one in the tower, his fate alone shall be different."  Immediately two guards came and dragged Myth away.  More guards stepped forward to drag off the rest of the rebels.

"Great Priest," summoned Urist.  High Priest Kulaka stepped forward from the shadowy depths of the altar.  "Have the peasant quarters drained."

"Yes, your majesty," said the High Priest as he bowed.  The main lever control room for the fortress' water system was located inside the temple, under the direction of the Dungeon Master Petbeard.  Kulaka made the Queens will known, and soon, the appropriate lever was pulled.

To the north of the fortress, Jazz stood on a rocky crag at the base of the mountain.  He was foraging for food; berries, rats, cockroaches...anything.  Suddenly a torrent of water burst forth from the rock itself, flowing into a small natural trench.  Jazz was awed by the power of this place.

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Creamcorn

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #746 on: June 16, 2009, 07:26:25 pm »

What about my dwarf?
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"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

Jackrabbit

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #747 on: June 16, 2009, 07:32:09 pm »

Aw poo
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Byakugan01

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #748 on: June 16, 2009, 07:34:02 pm »

Holy crap-what made the dwarven geyser!? Was that intentional or pure coincidence? Don't remember you building something like that...
« Last Edit: June 16, 2009, 07:41:52 pm by Byakugan01 »
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #749 on: June 16, 2009, 07:44:11 pm »

Well, you might be a Napoleon, but you never had the army. BTW, framerate question: how much gobbo stuff is lying around the map? I found my framerate on one map instantly improved one i started smelting the gobbo stuff. By the way, how's the diplomat? You'll want one of the two, diplomat or liasion, alive to get back into trade with the humans-you *can* go back to peace without a diplomat. But my liasion was still alive at the time, so that might have been because he was still around.

Yeah framerate has taken another dump since the added power generation, the added length of the nobles cave river, and the gazillion goblin thongs out on the field of battle.  Thats why Im emptying the peasant quarters.  It will add some FPS (hopefully).  If only I had magma I could just burn up all that goblin crap, then melt the metal in my forges.  I try to atom smash some of it...but thats tedious.

As for the flood, that drainage duct was carved out along with the original flooding mechanism.  Its all part of one big system.  Also of note, this system is being tapped unbeknownst to Urist.  Eagle uses it for drinking water.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.
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