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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 433692 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #570 on: May 17, 2009, 06:16:18 pm »

Oh yeah and Zulaf, I dont have any more Armok worshippers.  Are you okay with a dead dwarf infidel?

Or you can get dibs on the next Hammerer (if hes a worshipper of the right God)
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #571 on: May 17, 2009, 06:58:09 pm »

!

Christes

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #572 on: May 17, 2009, 08:00:13 pm »

Tradanbattlan has become enraged
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Labs

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #573 on: May 17, 2009, 08:21:46 pm »

 ;D I love the storytelling so far and I love how you put it together.
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I like to slip into bear caves around midnight and gently caress the carnivore inside before leaving a small cut of fresh fish and sneaking out.

Zulaf

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #574 on: May 17, 2009, 08:35:30 pm »

Hammerererer is fine.

If he is a infidel then just whatever is fine.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2009, 08:37:30 pm by Zulaf »
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WIERD 2-5-6-8-9-14

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #575 on: May 18, 2009, 09:30:25 pm »

Man its getting FUN at Blockedlance!  To all who think the games too easy (me included) just sacrifice half the population.  So many tantrums, so much berserkerkrang.  Plus the flood in the peasant quarters has dropped my FPS to negative numbers.

I havent even gotten through spring yet....two more weeks to go.  In the two and a half months of spring I have 'lost' about 50 dwarves.  Thats just one season.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Creamcorn

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #576 on: May 18, 2009, 09:52:02 pm »

Look for a dwarf with the most friends and come up with a reason to kill her or him.
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"OH NO! That carp is gulping at me menacingly, even though it cannot really threaten me from here on land!  I KNOW! I'll dodge into the water, where I'll be safe!"

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #577 on: May 18, 2009, 10:14:43 pm »

Look for a dwarf with the most friends and come up with a reason to kill her or him.

The House of Erib was definitely home to that dwarf.  And most of the Eribs are dead or drowning.  The Eribite Heir even took a beating from Urist.  TWICE.  Somehow he lived though....    :'(


But yeah....I have a plan for ALL of these heathens.....muhoohahahahahahaahaha!!!!!!
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #578 on: May 18, 2009, 10:19:52 pm »

Tradanbattlan, ghost has entered a fell mood!

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #579 on: May 19, 2009, 12:57:43 am »

Queen Urist was heading out of the temple towards the fortress proper to beat Hamdinger's murderer to death and impose Uristian law on these unruly dwarves.  As she was walking out of the temple gates she could hear a great clamor in the fortress.  Lord Dullard was standing guard at the temple entrance. 

"Its been going on ever since the hammerer was murdered.  It seems to be developing into a full scale riot, your majesty" he reported.

"Yes?  And what are you doing about it?" demanded the Queen, enraged by the breakdown of order.

Lord Dullard pointed to the fortress heights in the distance.  "We've poisitoned Lord Labs with our few remaining marksdwarves on the high ground overlooking the courtyard."

Queen Urist sat silent for a moment.  "And?" she said at last.

"Uhhh....well, your majesty, we really dont have any more troops to spare.  The leadership of the rebellion comes mostly from our own military.  Our ranks are vastly depleted.  I dont have accurate counts, my queen, but they outnumber us somewhere between 3 and 5 to 1."

"Yes but theyre dying at an incredible rate," the Queen reminded.  "Now lets keep it that way.  We need to get out there and shove some weight around.  Get your squad ready, rally them here.  I will return in a moment."

"Yes, milady," said Lord Dullard.  With that, the Queen turned and headed back into the temple depths.  She made her way to an axe, and then stopped by the altar of the temple, to pray to Armok.

"Oh great master of life and death...I head now to an uncertain fate.  I leave myself in your almighty hands.  May the blood that is spilled today please you, my lord, whosever blood it is." 

With her grim acceptance of death, Urist heaved the mighty axe back up and walked back to the temple entrace, and her fate.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #580 on: May 19, 2009, 04:02:48 am »

The Queen Walked somberly out to the temple entrance where not only Lord Dullard's squad awaited, but her trusted swordsdwarf Madmonkey24 as well.  He carried with him the demon sword she had entrusted to him as the fortress' sole swordsdwarf.  They were all decked out in steel plate, with chain under it.

The Queen never gave the order to move out.  She simply started walking towards the fortress with her axe in hand and bloodlust coursing through her very soul.  Lord Dullard commanded his men to follow.  Mad Monkey ran ahead and lead the way, holding his shield out in front of the queen.  No bolts were coming down now, but snipers could be anywhere along the parapets.

As they got closer the din grew louder.  Lord Labs was above the courtyard, shouting down at the riotous peasants.  He was ordering his men to shoot warning shots into the crowd.  They were breaking apart the stone slabs that made up the fortress; main road.  When the Queen arrive with her entourage she nodded at Lord Dullard.

"Alright men, fan out!" he yelled as he banged his axe against his shield.  His men did likewise and responded with a resounding 'hoo-rah'.  They quickly spread out and started puishing peasants around, getting them out of the main courtyard and cramming them into the fortress and barracks interiors.



All the while Madmonkey24 was blocking the queen from various trash and debris that was being flung her way.  She didnt like being kept out of the fray...but they were vastly outnumbered, and she had to play it cool. 

Suddnely a crossbowbolt whizzed down between Urist and Madmonkey24.  It barely grazed Madmonkey24's armor as it did so.  He turned around swiftly to raise his shield and blocked another two botls that came down in rapid succession.  They looked up to see Lord Labs yelling at his marksdwarves for missing, and ordering another volley as he loaded his own. 

"ITS A TRAP!!!" shouted MadMonkey24 over the noise and confusion.  Lord Dullard heard it faintly, and looked up in time only to see more marksdwarves coming from the barracks and the main corridor of the fort.  Lord Dullard immediately ordered his troops back to the main entrance to the courtyard, where Urist and MadMonkey24 stood.

As they pushed their way through the crowd Urist rushed forward at the marksdwarfs and cut one down immediately.  She turned around and chopped at another dwarf, leaving him wounded and fleeing in terror, a trail
of blood behind him.  His squadmates followed him. 



Only one marksdwarf stood between Urist and the exit now, Lord Bowbeard himself.

"Traitor!" she shouted.

Bowbeard said nothing, as he was trembling in terror at the sight of his queen charging through his squad like butter.  He simply fired a shot wildly, and Urist easily dodged it and continued her charge towards him.  When she got close she threw her axe down and leapt onto Bowbeard chest, knocking him to the ground.  She wailed at his face with bare fists, then gouged out his eyes with her fingers.  Mercifully, she ended his life right there, by tearing his throat out and watching him suffocate while tossing about blind and gushing blood.


(Urist's Kills)


Lord Dullard pulled her from her trance.  There were more marksdwarves and axedwarves pouring out of the barracks into the far end of the courtyard.  "My queen, we must make haste!!!" shouted lord Dullard.

The queen and her guards turned and crossed the bridge.  Lord Labs and his squad continued to fire bolts at them, but never managed to hit anything but shields and dirt.  The bridge raised as they left, and it was clear now that the fortress was totally lost. 

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #581 on: May 19, 2009, 04:07:25 am »

YOU CANNOT SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME.

This is awesome. For the revolution!
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Labs

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #582 on: May 19, 2009, 06:43:53 am »

ITS A TRAP!!!  ;D  I love it.
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I like to slip into bear caves around midnight and gently caress the carnivore inside before leaving a small cut of fresh fish and sneaking out.

Lord Dullard

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #583 on: May 19, 2009, 11:54:39 am »

Epic.  ;D

Edit: Holy christ, Urist is SCARY.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok!)
« Reply #584 on: May 19, 2009, 12:39:05 pm »

Bwa ha ha!
By the way, how is the little hideaway doing?
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