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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 433586 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #360 on: April 20, 2009, 07:09:31 pm »

Summer 227





So Asmel the stonecrafter goes back down to the temple after getting real smashed on whip wine.  She finishes off her other two kids, and now her husband the marksdwarf is throwing a tantrum!  Come on be a man, get over it.  Its just your kids.

The elves attack us this summer!

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1294-damnelves

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #361 on: April 20, 2009, 07:58:02 pm »

Summer 227





So Asmel the stonecrafter goes back down to the temple after getting real smashed on whip wine.  She finishes off her other two kids, and now her husband the marksdwarf is throwing a tantrum!  Come on be a man, get over it.  Its just your kids.

The elves attack us this summer!

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1294-damnelves

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Remember: Fire is only dangerous when you arent the one who started it (or when booze is around).
I should know. I'm a ghost.

Guy Montag

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #362 on: April 20, 2009, 09:01:40 pm »

Well, with the Elves and Goblins being causally destroyed by the military, I can't imagine her being ousted by a foriegn power in the way Pol Pot was removed, I think of one way for Urist's  madness to end is via a coup de' etat. No foriegn power can dislodge her, fireball slinging elven crusaders included.

But her stranglehold on the populace is total, and she is actively repressing, in a multi-tiered effort on all fronts, all remotely potential malcontents. A military coup could be in order, but how loyal is her military and how do their leader's view her vision of Steelearthen? Who leads them? Where do their loyalties lie?

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Eagle

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #363 on: April 21, 2009, 01:28:04 am »

Posting in an epic story. Damn, this is crazy. I especially love how you actually managed all this from a ruined pile with only one dwarf.

Also, can i get a dwarf? Name of Eagle, make him a miner thats antisocial and have him carve a little burrow for himself somewhere deep in the mines. Bonus points if he furnishes and decorates it all himself. Mad uber bonus points if he makes a small, independent cave over there.

If you dont have any miners to spare, just toss him in the military as an axedwarf.

Guy: Dammit, i was looking at your name for about five minutes before i realized that it was from Fahrenheit 451.

Thanks, and keep up the awesome story!

Lord Dullard

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #364 on: April 21, 2009, 03:38:12 am »

Indeed, epic thread is epic.

Requesting an axedwarf. 'Dullard' works just fine.
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Christes

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #365 on: April 21, 2009, 11:53:26 am »

It has been said that Boatmurdered shows how games can go to hell and Nist Akath shows how games can stall and become easy.

In the same way, this thread showcases the sadism of DF players.
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Argonnek

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #366 on: April 21, 2009, 08:12:48 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
 8)

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #367 on: April 21, 2009, 08:18:07 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
 8)
8)

ousire

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #368 on: April 21, 2009, 08:57:06 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
8)
8)
8)
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Eagle

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #369 on: April 21, 2009, 09:22:23 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
8)
8)
8)
;D

Lord Dullard

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #370 on: April 21, 2009, 09:47:07 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
 8)

Hm...

This is good, but it's missing a basic precept of the racetrack. It needs competition to survive!

Make the pressure plates on the tracks trigger spikes/evil death machines/etc. on OTHER tracks. Whichever peasant moves his filthy ass first and fastest lives - the others get to suffer for their laziness!
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #371 on: April 21, 2009, 10:56:53 pm »

I have an Idea for a dwarven murder race track:
dig out long, one wide tunnels
put a door at one end
place a useless peasant in there and starve them
line the tunnel with pressure plates and spikes
put food on the side opposite the peasant
open the door
 8)

Hm...

This is good, but it's missing a basic precept of the racetrack. It needs competition to survive!

Make the pressure plates on the tracks trigger spikes/evil death machines/etc. on OTHER tracks. Whichever peasant moves his filthy ass first and fastest lives - the others get to suffer for their laziness!
8)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #372 on: April 21, 2009, 11:23:26 pm »

Eagle, Lord Dullard - I'll get you guys a dwarf, Im a little ahead of the story right now, and some big things happen in the plot that I got to get through first.  But I wont forget you when I get the story caught up to the game.

Argonnek - Your idea is pretty fucking awesome, and Lord Dullard's refinement is even more awesomer.  I may just have to do that...

Guy Montag - Your analysis of the political situation is spot on!  haha...good idea with a military coup.  Realistically a General/Lord somewhere would probably want to see the random killing stopped....or to take control of it himself.  Hmmmm......
« Last Edit: April 23, 2009, 12:18:15 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #373 on: April 21, 2009, 11:27:02 pm »

It has been said that Boatmurdered shows how games can go to hell and Nist Akath shows how games can stall and become easy.

In the same way, this thread showcases the sadism of DF players.

Damn...to be mentioned alongside such esteemed literature as Boatmurdered and Nist Akath is an honor I cannot live up to!  I shall have to add even more blood and murder!!!
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #374 on: April 22, 2009, 12:00:51 am »

Chapter #8 - The Jewel of Life

(chapter is alternatively titled "Murder Kill Blood Dripping Fucking Death")



Urist felt called.  She knew it was time.  She could feel the Steelen one calling to her as never before.  His power was even greater than before....she felt as if she was communing with him in a way beyond words....it was almost....orgasmic. 

Yes....it was time....




There was a miner in the tunnel and a Butcher locked in his hovel with his kids.  All were slowly rotting to death, their life essence being consumed by the almighty God of Jewels.



The miner had thought he would become a Freemason upon completion of his craft.  He was wrong.  There were already plenty of Freemasons, and Urist didn't want a crowd as her inner circle.  He knew too much, and had to die.

The Butcher had failed at his lever pulling duties.  The moron wounded himself and went to recuperate.  Urist had him locked up along with his children to prevent such idiocy from spreading like a plague.

As they slowly gave their lives to the Dyes of Brightness, Urist walked to the temple.  When she arrived in the unfinished altar room, she dismissed the High Priest and Priestess, who had been meditating.  When they were gone and the room sealed, she bowed before the altar.  The voice of Ber Steelearthen, even louder than before, rang out at once.

"CHOSEN ONE!!!"

"Yes lord, I felt you calling me, it is great to be in your graces, lord!  I was afraid I had displeased you!"

"No Chosen One, I am not displeased.  You have given me eons, and I shall reward you with life everlasting so long as you serve me!"

"Yes my lord!!!  Yes yes!!!  Thank you my lord, I will kill for my immortality!"

"Chosen one, be careful.  To cull the herd too much is to destroy it.  Killing is a means to an end.  Life has its place as well.  Life must be cultivated before it can be harvested.  That is your purpose, that is why you rule over the dwarven cattle."

"Yes, almighty one, I understand."

"No.  You do not.  You understand that I want to cultivate souls for their power, but you do not understand why they have any power to begin with.  Sit, and I will teach you, for you must learn if you wish to follow me."

"Yes my lord," said Urist.  She leaned back from her kneeling, and sat cross legged before the altar.

"I have been called many things over the eons, and you know me as Ber Steelearthen.  I have been known to command many powers by the many dwarves who witnessed different aspects of my nature.  The power you most associate with me in your time is the power over wealth and jewels.  This is only partly correct, Chosen One.  You must understand that I was once the God of Gods, a god of power.  I still am a god of power, not just over petty jewelry.  But power lives by the golden rule, that he who has the gold makes the rules...that is where your kind made the mistake that I am a God of wealth.  No, I am god of all things, life and death.  I am the God of the Jewel of Life.  Do you know what the jewel of life is Chosen One?"

"No my lord...what is this jewel?"

"The jewel of life is blood itself, that which gives all life power...now you know how to better worship me.  I will also teach you my real name, my timeless and eternal name that I was once called in your world...."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: April 23, 2009, 12:11:31 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.
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