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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 433573 times)

Kazindir

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #330 on: April 17, 2009, 06:35:43 am »

Well, you do have an engineer of death, a legion of fanatical monks and, of course, the indefatigable will of the dwarf.

Unfortunately Mogror's talents are being wasted at present in building the mechanical appendages that spread throughout the fortress to build a drainage system powered by windmills.  Sure its an engineering marvel...but its kinda the opposite of engineering death. 
This is Dwarf fortress. Everything is potential death.

Especially a drainage system. Drainage systems imply large quantities of water tamed by mechanisms, which means mass high-pressure drowning!
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #331 on: April 17, 2009, 12:03:37 pm »

Well, you do have an engineer of death, a legion of fanatical monks and, of course, the indefatigable will of the dwarf.

Unfortunately Mogror's talents are being wasted at present in building the mechanical appendages that spread throughout the fortress to build a drainage system powered by windmills.  Sure its an engineering marvel...but its kinda the opposite of engineering death. 
This is Dwarf fortress. Everything is potential death.

Especially a drainage system. Drainage systems imply large quantities of water tamed by mechanisms, which means mass high-pressure drowning!

Good point....drainage implies something to drain....and that implies potential mass watery death if someone were to forget to pull some levers....or if they pulled too many.  So yeah....Mogror's currently building the Fortress Take a Bath device.  May it one day bring glory unto Ber.

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #332 on: April 17, 2009, 12:08:46 pm »


What kind of dwarf do you want Steve to be?  Axedwarf, marksdwarf, lye maker? 

As for the being a bronze colossus....he'll have to prove that on the battlefield!  ;D
You doubt the powers of Steve?

. . .
Ok well, you know he was the runt of the litter. As far as profession goes, I'll take either Armorer or a Military dwarf of your choosing. :D
-J-

Damn....I want Steve to be the armorer but our only armorer right now is the dungeon master.  Our armorers keep dying.  It would be cool if all our legendary armor was 'masterfully crafted by Steve'.  Well...we have a legendary weaponsmith...wanna be him? 
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #333 on: April 17, 2009, 12:17:49 pm »

Well, 226 finished up without much further ado....oh...except a goblin siege.  But I only bothered to stop building shit around the map long enough to tell my military, 'move here, kill, okay now move back'.

No dwarves died.  Blood got everywhere.



But in a most foul turn of events, the House of Erib, having controlled the administration of Blockedlance for roughly a decade, has expanded their operations into business affairs.  All the shops had previously belonged to the old trader who was now the High Priestess.  The temple filled it's coffers from the profits of the shops.  With the House of Erib making a move to sieze the commerce of the fortress, the Queen was forced to respond.

Urist convened a secret meeting of the Freemason's council deep in the forest to the south.  In a dark grove late at night, under a diorite owl statue they gathered to plot their scheme. 

"Grand Master Myth," spoke the Queen.  Myth was decked out in full masonic regalia, the white apron with the compass square embroidered on it, a cave spider silk cloak with a hood to add to the spookiness, and a gold scepter in his hand to show the other masons who the grand master was.

"Yes, your majesty?"

"The mason's must establish an independant source of wealth.  We must become a seperate entity within the fortress.  We must be subtle and elusive, and we must confront the House of Erib on all their endeavors, lest they steal the power from us."

"Yes, your majesty.  What would you have us do?"



She ordered her loyal band of cronies to buy up one of the other temple properties.  Now the Freemasons and the House of Erib would duke it out for control of the clothing trade in and around Blockedlance.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2009, 12:31:00 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Guy Montag

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #334 on: April 17, 2009, 01:09:48 pm »

This is one of the more entertaining community stories i've read so far.

Posting so I can monitor the progress.

Also, I've noticed this fortress has A LOT of children. 47 of them?! Surely their lives would be more useful as sacrifice to Ber Steelearthen then the productivity of the fortress?


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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #335 on: April 17, 2009, 02:17:37 pm »

Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on fire.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #336 on: April 17, 2009, 02:18:13 pm »

Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on fire.
And have just had their food taken away.

Madmonkey24

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #337 on: April 17, 2009, 02:37:16 pm »

Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on
Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on fire.
And have just had their food taken away.
fire.[/i]
Who are all equipped with whips scourges.
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #338 on: April 17, 2009, 02:58:52 pm »

Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on
Mass baby slaughter?
Make a daycare centre, then fill it with goblins.
Goblins that are on fire.
And have just had their food taken away.
fire.[/i]
Who are all equipped with whips scourges.
The scourges are on fire. They menace with spikes of pain.
The spikes are on fire.
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mythmonster2

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #339 on: April 17, 2009, 03:27:08 pm »

Well damn. Those Eribites don't know when to stop messing around.
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #340 on: April 17, 2009, 06:45:07 pm »

Okay, Mr. Gimp. I must nitpick my character.


The entity is called Grigrak, not Jimm. Jimm is the current dwarf incarnation of Grigrak, and that Queen Urist is killing Grigrak again should only become aware to him at the moment of his death. Otherwise, a miserable existence is fine.
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Jarod Cain

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #341 on: April 18, 2009, 08:41:19 am »

Damn....I want Steve to be the armorer but our only armorer right now is the dungeon master.  Our armorers keep dying.  It would be cool if all our legendary armor was 'masterfully crafted by Steve'.  Well...we have a legendary weaponsmith...wanna be him? 
Weaponsmith is just as good man.
-J-
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #342 on: April 19, 2009, 12:25:18 pm »



Our legendary stonecrafter Asmel was sent down into the temple to pull a lever.  Tragedy usually struck people sent to pull levers in the temple.  But what choice did she have?  She had to do what she was told, or die. 

Asmel entered the strange booth, and sat down next to the lever.  She pulled for many hours.  Back and forth, back and forth.  That was the course of her day until all of a sudden the lever jammed.  She knew not what it was catching on.  She jerked it again.  Now it just seemed more stuck.  She pulled back until the lever loosened, then she pushed the lever forward again with all her might.  Again the lever met resistance.

"What was that?" Asmel said aloud.  She thought she had heard some high pitched noise...possibly metal squealing against metal?  The sound was muffled by the great stone walls of Blockedlance.  "Oh well, no matter..."

Asmel went back to jerking the lever back and forth.  The resistance was getting less and less as she went on.  Whatever the gears were caught on was loosening up.

"Whew...Im tired," Asmel said after a while.  She wiped her brow and then got up and left the booth.  As she opened the door and entered the hallway there was a most gruesome scene.  "HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF THE GODS!!!!"

There before her lay the mangled corpses of two of her young children.



There was also the pierced and leaking body of a guard dwarf that had been stationed in the hallway.

The blood, guts, and brains of her children were splattered everywhere.  She nearly collapsed into tears, but instead she ran off to get some booze.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2009, 01:26:32 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #343 on: April 19, 2009, 12:36:21 pm »

Mwahahahah.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot
« Reply #344 on: April 19, 2009, 01:09:17 pm »

"Hey! This lever cries when you pull on it! Awesome!"
*yank shove yank shove*
"Yaaaaay! Ahahaha!!"
*thud, thud*
"Hey kids! I'm off to get some booze!"
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