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[MrGimp]

Oh and I didnt forget about the new dwarves....

MadMonkey24 - Swordsdwarf

Hamdinger - I'll make you hammerer, if thats cool?  Our hammerer worships Ber now so hes not like the other hammerers.

Jim Groovester - I guess I can make the new engraver possessed by the Jimm entity.  Im trying to get him to carve morbid shit on the walls, so Ive taken to locking him in miasmic caves to make him miserable. 

[Madmonkey24]

Wait, you were assaulted? That sucks. Also, glad to see this thing is alive.

[MrGimp]

Wait, you were assaulted? That sucks. Also, glad to see this thing is alive.

Yeah theres a picture of the headwound on page 17.  haha

And yes, Urist Salvedangers will never die!!!!!!

[Jarod Cain]

And sorry everyone for the lack of updates.  Two midterms this week. 

Not a problem man, you will simply be forgiven if you give me a dwarf named Steve. So his latent powers of awesome as a disguised Bronze Colossus can reach new heights.
-J-

[MrGimp]

The Queen spoke to herself in her palace, or rather, she spoke to Ber Steelearthen.  Ber Steelearthen, however, remained silent.

Still, the queen remained faithful.  She dutifully reported the events that transpired in the early part of 226.  She spent several hours describing the magnificence of a new artifact.



A cave spider silk shoe with all different colors of cave spider silk and images of random mountains and circles....I mean....this shoe is the be all and end all of dwarven footwear...and there is only one.

When she had finished extolling the virtues of the great shoe, and lamenting its singularity, she then began bitching about the peasants and other inferior types.

"Oh great lord, one of our trainees managed to kill a kobold the other day.  He's gotten quite the big head about it, refusing to fight with anything but a sword even though he knows not how to weild it.  He also demands that everyone now call him MadMonkey24.  What manner of name this is, I know not my lord.  The mind boggles."



"These dwarves vex me lord.  I'm terribly vexed.  Why....even this new Hammerer - who is a dutiful worshipper of you my lord - has changed his name to Hamdinger.  I can only guess that it is some local dialectical twist mangling the Queens Dwarvish."



"The engraver you sent is also causing problems.  Apparently, Mister Tekkud Whiskeredringed didnt like being locked in a cave deep in the recesses of Blockedlance, behind our atom smasher junk crusher.  Yes lord...I'm making a dwarf live behind our junkyard eating horse tallow and drinking sewer brew!  I know you are proud of me."


(to the tune of spongebob squarepants)

Who lives in a trash pile deep in a cave?
Tekkud Whiskeredringed!

"Now Tekkud has gone nutters, completely schizo.  He claims he's been possessed by a demonic entity named Jimm.  Do you know anything of this, my lord?"

Urist paused, but there was only silence.

Urist sighed.  "Lord, I kill and I kill for you....but they keep coming....endless waves of them.  And more are born every day due to the power and verility of dwarven seed.  I can only hope I am providing you with the strength you need to manifest yourself in this world permanently..."

The room was still and quiet.  The silence was deafening.  Urist knew she had not killed enough.  Ber must be angry...more must die!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Well, you do have an engineer of death, a legion of fanatical monks and, of course, the indefatigable will of the dwarf.

[MrGimp]

And sorry everyone for the lack of updates.  Two midterms this week. 

Not a problem man, you will simply be forgiven if you give me a dwarf named Steve. So his latent powers of awesome as a disguised Bronze Colossus can reach new heights.
-J-

What kind of dwarf do you want Steve to be?  Axedwarf, marksdwarf, lye maker? 

As for the being a bronze colossus....he'll have to prove that on the battlefield! 

[MrGimp]

Well, you do have an engineer of death, a legion of fanatical monks and, of course, the indefatigable will of the dwarf.

Unfortunately Mogror's talents are being wasted at present in building the mechanical appendages that spread throughout the fortress to build a drainage system powered by windmills.  Sure its an engineering marvel...but its kinda the opposite of engineering death. 

[Madmonkey24]

Making a repeating atom-smasher dwarf-grinder using windmills and pumps and switches and levers. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. Also, spikes.

[MrGimp]

Lady Christes sat with her squadmates by the cave river.  Fuck patroling, it was time to get trashed.  Blockedlance was never attacked anymore anyways.  The goblins had been nearly destroyed, and the elves were finding it harder and harder to find any of their number who would give up immortality and march a thousand miles to their death at the gates of Rifotkubuk.

Christes remembered the many times she had sat by the river stroking her Tradan's bushy beard.  He was such a loving, innocent little drunk.  And he was gone...gone forever.  She struggled to turn her mind from the depressing thoughts.  There was only one thing that could ease the pain now.  "Wheres my beer?" she shouted.



On the other side of the fortress, three planters had been sentenced to death by conversion.  Gossip spread quickly throughout the fortress, vicious slander such as 'oh, these three planters didnt do anything' and 'hey they were innocent'....stupid remarks of an ignorant nature.  Queen Urist personally made her case that these were dwarves guilty of the worst of sins.  Gathering the masses in a dining hall, she stood at a podium yelling "Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!!!"

With that, she threw her adamantine mug at a peasant's face and stormed out of the dining room.

[Tradanbattlan]

Lady Christes sat with her squadmates by the cave river.  Fuck patroling, it was time to get trashed.  Blockedlance was never attacked anymore anyways.  The goblins had been nearly destroyed, and the elves were finding it harder and harder to find any of their number who would give up immortality and march a thousand miles to their death at the gates of Rifotkubuk.

Christes remembered the many times she had sat by the river stroking her Tradan's bushy beard.  He was such a loving, innocent little drunk.  And he was gone...gone forever.  She struggled to turn her mind from the depressing thoughts.  There was only one thing that could ease the pain now.  "Wheres my beer?" she shouted.



On the other side of the fortress, three planters had been sentenced to death by conversion.  Gossip spread quickly throughout the fortress, vicious slander such as 'oh, these three planters didnt do anything' and 'hey they were innocent'....stupid remarks of an ignorant nature.  Queen Urist personally made her case that these were dwarves guilty of the worst of sins.  Gathering the masses in a dining hall, she stood at a podium yelling "Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!!!"

With that, she threw her adamantine mug at a peasant's face and stormed out of the dining room.

D:
I'm sorry for dying, Christes.
BUT I'M A GHOST NOW AND THAT IS AWESOME
YEAAAAAAAAAH

[Christes]

I'm sure Christes will be joining her beau soon enough.

[Madmonkey24]

Dwarven suicide pacts?

[Jarod Cain]

What kind of dwarf do you want Steve to be?  Axedwarf, marksdwarf, lye maker? 

As for the being a bronze colossus....he'll have to prove that on the battlefield! 

You doubt the powers of Steve?

. . .
Ok well, you know he was the runt of the litter. As far as profession goes, I'll take either Armorer or a Military dwarf of your choosing.
-J-

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Well, you do have an engineer of death, a legion of fanatical monks and, of course, the indefatigable will of the dwarf.

Unfortunately Mogror's talents are being wasted at present in building the mechanical appendages that spread throughout the fortress to build a drainage system powered by windmills.  Sure its an engineering marvel...but its kinda the opposite of engineering death. 

This is Dwarf fortress. Everything is potential death.