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[Tradanbattlan]

Urist Haiku

Prudence is bad word
Dwarves want sex and blood
Now you write story and die

You know...
I might just write that one down...

[Christes]

Not really a Haiku though.

[MrGimp]

Not really a Haiku though.

5 5 7 right?

Whats wrong with it?  Its not a complex 5 5 7 7 7 5 Haiku...but still.

[MrGimp]

Credits go to i2amroy and this thread here for the inspiration for this next piece of architecture...

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=24088.0

And here it his; the Pet Owner Rehabilitation Booth.



Dwarves may not know why theyve been told to go pull a lever when they go in, but they figure it out when they come out.



Imagine the look on their faces when they come out of the booth and see their beloved pets impaled upon a spear!  Priceless!



Of course, this guy here didnt seem to mind too much when he walked out and saw his pet donkey lying mortally wounded.  He just stepped over the body and headed off to go get drunk.







Oh and in other news, our shell shortage has claimed another life, as a dwarf has thrown himself down the main stairwell for lack of the precious green material.

[Christes]

Not really a Haiku though.

5 5 7 right?

Whats wrong with it?  Its not a complex 5 5 7 7 7 5 Haiku...but still.

5 7 5

Not that I'm complaining.  Just as hard to get 5 5 7 to work

[Jackrabbit]

That's totally disgusting and immoral! Really really funny though

[MrGimp]

Not really a Haiku though.

5 5 7 right?

Whats wrong with it?  Its not a complex 5 5 7 7 7 5 Haiku...but still.

5 7 5

Not that I'm complaining.  Just as hard to get 5 5 7 to work

Doh!  I couldve sworn it was 5 5 7, hahaha...

But wait!  Whats this?  I found a scroll here written by the legendary dwarf haiku master Bomrek Lotusblossom!  He says only humans write in the inferior 5 7 5 style!  The dwarf school of haiku has the [DRUNKEN_STRUCTURE] tag!  The dwarf school is superior!

[MrGimp]

Its Spring 218, and theres lots to do.  The pet problem is being solved with the help of ingenious dwarven engineering.  The moat was being dug out, and its floor covered in dolomite to prevent plant growth.  Not that it really mattered...it was really just something to do with all that stone.

Yep...it was pretty mundane and boring...wait...what the hell?



The goblins dare strike again?  Queen Urist refused to give the order for all dwarves to come inside.  There were many innocents in the line of goblin death.  Jackrabbit and his squad were on duty guarding the temple, and were the only ones who could reach this squad of gobbos in time.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1153-heroicvictory

Eat popcorn and watch the movie.  I thought for sure Id lose some dudes.  Every goblin had a beak dog.  As Jackrabbit and his men attacked, more goblins were coming in from off screen.  Amazingly everyone else scored all the kills, and Jackrabbit came up empty.



You did get wounded there a bit though, captain Jack.

[MrGimp]

But the fight was not yet done.  Another squad of goblin bearing beak dogs charged in from the hills to the northeast.  They had to cross the map to get to the unfinished end of the outer palisade.  This gave Urist the time she needed.  She ordered good ole Cap'n Jack to take his squad forward.  But Jackrabbit said he needed to rest.  His squad loyally followed him inside the fortress.  Urist fumed.  Legolord had already taken his sweet time to get in firing position on the hillside overlooking the palisade.  By the time he got there (and he was all by himself) he had time to fire one arrow before the goblin menace was out of range.

He did hit though, I must say that Legolord is a damn good shot.

The Queen ordered the remaining fighting men, the nameless slobbering hordes that made up the fortress militia, to take up a position along the western edge of the palisade wall. 

This video tells their tale...

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1154-killdiedie

...and this picture shows the terrible bloody mess that was left...

[Jackrabbit]

Oooh I like that nickname. Also, NO KILLS? Insolent goblins, not dying on my blade! I'd like a short stint in the arena to kill captives if that's okay.

[MrGimp]

Oooh I like that nickname. Also, NO KILLS? Insolent goblins, not dying on my blade! I'd like a short stint in the arena to kill captives if that's okay.

Captives?  You mean the allowing of goblins to live?  Oh Armok no!

Actually....on second thought...you are right.  I need to capture goblins for arena torture.  But Zulafs got dibs on the arena adventures, sorry.  Im still trying to get him to fight the hammerer...but they both keep getting happy thoughts from the sunshine and legendary dog meat roasts.

[Tradanbattlan]

But the fight was not yet done.  Another squad of goblin bearing beak dogs charged in from the hills to the northeast.  They had to cross the map to get to the unfinished end of the outer palisade.  This gave Urist the time she needed.  She ordered good ole Cap'n Jack to take his squad forward.  But Jackrabbit said he needed to rest.  His squad loyally followed him inside the fortress.  Urist fumed.  Legolord had already taken his sweet time to get in firing position on the hillside overlooking the palisade.  By the time he got there (and he was all by himself) he had time to fire one arrow before the goblin menace was out of range.

He did hit though, I must say that Legolord is a damn good shot.

The Queen ordered the remaining fighting men, the nameless slobbering hordes that made up the fortress militia, to take up a position along the western edge of the palisade wall. 

This video tells their tale...

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1154-killdiedie

...and this picture shows the terrible bloody mess that was left...

I am taking a wiiild guess here, but I was with Christes, wasnt I?

[MrGimp]

I am taking a wiiild guess here, but I was with Christes, wasnt I?

Yeah, Im pretty sure you guys were down by the river stroking each others beards.

[Zulaf]

Hey with the food and booze situation down with my cell mate and i why not just give us plumps(drop them down a chute if you haven't done so already) and designate a pond of water for us?

I'm pretty sure you would have to dig a tunnel under the wall 3 tiles long crossing into the hall and the room and then the two ends make channels, then to give us water dwarfs don't have to go in the room with risk us leaving except for the one time for the miner, or just drop a pick down to us(assuming you have a dump chute) can dig the channel on our side.

I am taking a wiiild guess here, but I was with Christes, wasnt I?

Yeah, Im pretty sure you guys were down by the river stroking each others beards.

I almost fell of my chair laughing.

[Tradanbattlan]

I am taking a wiiild guess here, but I was with Christes, wasnt I?

Yeah, Im pretty sure you guys were down by the river stroking each others beards.

Wait a minute...
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