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[MrGimp]

Sorry, I've been messed up by christmas.  But Ive played this fortress to 216 so far, so there shouldnt be a shortage of updates.  Ill post a few now, but yeah, if anyone is still reading this after me not really posting for a couple weeks then let me know hahaha

[MrGimp]

So heres how stupid I am...



I wanted to get that fire spirit and put him in a little isolated firing station near a newly built Trade Depot.  So I find a crippled military dwarf to be the bait.



But Fire Spirits cant be trapped in cages.  And did I think to edit the raws?  No.  I tried it a couple times, it didnt work, he died, and I carried on.



He was shot by a marksdwarf oddly enough.  The bait dwarf however, was bleeding heavily and fell unconscious on a trap. 



So now I have a dead Dobar in a cage.

[MrGimp]

Spring 213.

Urist was delighted to see that the small outpost had so quickly grown into a city.  Rifotkubuk was the only place in all the known world where admantine was being mined.  The rest of Sil Gomath (The Plane of Legends) had to make do with ancient myths and stories of long lost mines where they dug out the beautiful blue lightweight steel.

But here it was reality.  And it was all Urist's.

She smiled at the thought of the fortress about to break the two million dwarfbuck mark in terms of created wealth.  And that just included the wealth created since Urist arrived, it didn't include the mountains of crafts left behind by the unfortunate bastards that settled this terrifying place thirteen years ago.

It brought back memories of Urist's arrival, when dozens of demons still haunted this outpost.  Visions of melted dwarf flesh dangling from charred bone.  Screaming dwarves being burned alive by heartless spirits.  The mountains of rotting bodies...the flies...the stench...

Urist shook her head and got back to her engraving.  She was putting the finishing touches on a hilarious scene of goblins trapped in the depot.



The engraving brought a smile to Urist's face.  Of course...goblins aren't the only beings that must be afraid of coming to Rifotkubuk.



The Elves too, were finding out that being trapped in a hole underground takes dwarven nerves...not pansy fairiness.  When the slaughter was over, one elf stood above the others, soaking up the rage that was burried beneath Blockedlance.

[MrGimp]

Summer 213.
Blockedlance grows still larger.

Not muched happened.  Heres a little filler for ya.  Heres some of the engravings being etched into the walls around here...











This last one is part of a series.  Apparently, some human went around this area long ago slaughtering sasquatches and giant eagles, among other beasts.  He appears to be quite badass, and Urist seems to love his story of giant eagle genocide.



Heres some of the food being eaten around here.  Dog meat roast.  Yum.



Also, the human diplomat's name is Dunem Trickscars.  Trickscars?  How do those work exactly?

[Hawkfrost]

I'm still reading this!

Great story so far mate.

[MrGimp]

Chapter #3 - The Murder of Momuz

Autumn of 213.

Waves of migrants came in the year 214, and Blockedlance, the great Rifotkubuk, had become a Metropolis.



The Baron and Baroness were promoted yet again, in a ceremony held in Urist's throne room.  Now they would be a Duke and a Duchess, and their grand residence was receiving some finishing touches.



A philosopher arrived in the most recent wave of immigrants.  Urist thought he was dreamy.  He was really brainy, and did nothing but sit around all day and pontificate.  He was a perfect match for Urist.



She decided to patronize the wise dwarf, and carved a room out for him within the palace itself.  She hoped the time spent near each other would make them close.



An artifact buckler was made this season.  "Big Deal," was the Queen's majestic reply.

Urist had just ordered the buckler thrown in her chest of artifacts when all of a sudden, a messenger arrived carrying news that the Duchess, drunk with the power of her new title, had sentenced one of our heroic champions to a hammering!



"What?  Not again!  She just had the armorer hammered!  He's still recuperating from his wounds!" shouted Urist, throwing her adamantine mug to the ground as she lept from her throne.



Urist hurried out to the halls to see what was going on.  She was relieved to learn that at least the Duchess had the deceny to single out someone who was already crippled for the hammering.





Urist could not overrule the Duchess without a large upset among the fortress.  She hesitated to act.  She felt helpless for the first time in a long time as she watched the warrior led through the halls like an animal.



He was chained up the demon pit.  The hammerer left to go get drunk first.  Momuz Abbeycovered looked into the glowing hole, red and black whisps of smoke swirled around in a torrent, the faint sound of distant screams and moans could be heard.

Momuz wondered what the Underworld was like.  He prayed to his god to save his life from the mighty hammerer.

Soon, the drunken Bomrek Lullseal came back, hammer and all. 

"Be merciful!" cried Momuz.

The Hammerer raised the hammer high, and bringing it down in one swift motion, ended the life of the great Momuz Abbeycovered.

[MrGimp]

Urist confronted the Duchess in her throne room.  The Duke was nowhere to be found.

"Damn you!" she shouted.  The Duchess looked confused.  "I was a fool to trust you!  I thought, hey she worships Ber Steelearthen, she's got to be alright.  Well I was wrong!  I was a fool not to see you for what you are!"

"Your majesty, please, what are you referring to?"

"You had Momuz Abbeycovered executed because your production orders werent being met!"

"That is dwarven law Urist."

"NO!  That is the law of Letterclose!"  Urist summoned up her best King Leonidas impression and roared, "THIS IS BLOCKEDLANCE!!!" and then kicked a random peasant into a hole. 

"Where did that hole come from???  Jesus....look, Urist, I didnt mean for Momuz to lose his life.  I have plenty of fine pewter goblets and earrings...I wouldnt order someone to be put to death simply because I couldnt get one more shiny trinket."  The Duchess' eyes seemed to plead with Urist to believe in her innocence.  The rumors had always been that the Duke was the real power behind the throne, and had been the real power ever since he married the old Dukes only daughter.

"If I am going to believe you then you must put your money where your mouth is."

"Urist Im not going to - "

"NO!  Ugh...look...if you didnt order Momuz' death then that means the Hammerer killed one of our Champion's on purpose.  In fact, even if it werent on purpose I must still punish him, I cant have my dwarves thinking that I favor a brutal murderous executioner over one of the defenders of our great home."

"What do you plan to do, your majesty?"

"We're going to send him a Sicilian message.  I want you to deliver this message personally."



And so the Duchess chained a couple bears up in the Hammerer's room.  Urist was relieved that the Duchess was still a loyalist...or at least, in appearance she was.  Only time would tell.



And only time would tell if the hammerer would starve or tantrum first...

[MrGimp]

I just wanted to point out that these damn elves ripped me off!!!  Look at the wounded ass bears they sold me!!!

[LegoLord]

Those dirty elves!  I've never trusted them myself.  A little water . . . okay, a lot of water, should make them clean 

[Shoruke]

Only hippies are pacifist enough to train animals by torturing them with everlasting wounds.

It makes sense.
Believe it.

[MrGimp]

Those dirty elves!  I've never trusted them myself.  A little water . . . okay, a lot of water, should make them clean 

Have you been reading ahead???  hahaha...it's like you lifted the blueprints for Ber Steelearthen's holy baptismal chamber right from my head!

[MrGimp]

Winter entombs Rifotkubuk.



Our weaponsmith, bored with no work, passed his time away making a great Iron short sword with a demon on it.  For this, his weaponmaking skills have become legendary.

Urist delved deeper into the mystery surrounding Momuz Abbeycovered's death.  The hammerer of course maintained his innocence.  He was 'just doing his job'.  Urist wasn't convinced.

She also wasn't convinced that the Mayor and Clerk werent in on the scheme.  Urist knew that if she were the Duke, stealing the loyalty of the Mayor and Clerk would give her the strength she would need to launch a coup.  Urist's throne was in danger.  She saw enemies all around.  She was wary of how much authority the Mayor/Trader had accumulated.  She decided she would remove his trading responsibilities and grant them to one of the Migrants, a Thob Whipcolor.  Thob was a loyal follower of Ber Steelearthen.





The Hammerer's spirits remained high, despite the fact that he was locked up in his room with a couple elf-tortured grizzly bears.  Urist was worried her plan might backfire.  She decided that if the Hammerer dies from starvation or dehydration, it wont exactly make her look Regal.  Besides...this sadistic bastard needed to suffer.



Urist carved the hammerer a chamber down the hall from his old room.  His old domicile was given to the new trader Thob Whipcolor, and his new domicile was part of a much larger complex.  This complex would be Urist's secret weapon in maintaining loyalty among the peasants, and control of the nobility...

[MrGimp]

Queen Urist locked herself up in her royal chambers for two months.  No one knew why, but they dared not bother her.  No one wanted to have a couple bears chained up next to their bed.

It was rumored she had finally gone (more) insane, and was holed away in her palatial estate talking to the statues and engravings.  But everyone knew that the truth had to be far stranger.  Eventually Urist came out of her lair, her hair disheveled and her clothes smelling foul, but otherwise she seemed alright.  She just came out and started talking to everyone again as if nothing had happened.  It was quite odd, but as the old saying goes, "a dwarf without madness is like a belly without food".

By now it was Spring of 214.



The place was going great, everyone was eating gourmet sunshine roasts...it was food fit for some kind of dwarven Emperor.





Hell, even the hammerer was doing fine, even though he was trapped in a tiny cave with some bears.



Yeah the only people who werent doing well in Rifotkubuk were the people who were NEVER doing well in Rifotkubuk, that is to say the elves and goblins, who were getting the opportunity to know each other before they died together.

[Jackrabbit]

Boy, its been a while.

[MrGimp]

Time went on and the Hammerer started to get a little unhappy. 

"Fuck that guy," Urist remarked.

One day, a soldier ran up to Urist, screaming something indecipherable.

"Calm down peasant.  Speak.  Slowly."  Queen Urist was becoming quite the bitch, as was her role in Dwarven society.

"YOUR MAJESTY!  A DRAGON!!!  A dragon has come to Blockedlance!"  With that the soldier slumped down, gasping for air.

Somebody get this guy some booze!" Urist ordered.  "And yeah, go kill that dragon.  Im sure our boys can handle the beast easily enough, theyve been training for a damn decade."



(If you want to see the original fight go here http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1127-dragoneasyslaughter)

The dragon was cut down like butter.  Queen Urist ordered a reload.  No one was sure what she meant, until all of a sudden another dragon was on the horizon.  The dwarves panicked, and sent the military out again.  Again the dragon fell like butter.  Again Urist issued her bizzare 'reload' order.  Again, an even more powerful dragon appeared.  After several attacks by ungodly powerful dragons, Urist got angry and threw her adamantine mug at a peasant before storming off to her room.  The dragon attacks then ceased.

The only injury Urist the dragon managed to inflict on the dwarves was to take the left arm off of the great Fikkod Inodzoz.



Fikkod Inodzoz was a dwarf's dwarf however, and considered the loss of her left arm a minor injury.  "Tis but a flesh wound" she was heard to remark.