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[LegoLord]

So, wait.  Is the name Salved-angers, or Salve-dangers?

I'm pretty sure "salved" is not a word.  So my guess is Salve-dangers.

[MrGimp]

Shirty five horse fat?

Its a lot huh?  Its like, shirteen times eleventy.

[MrGimp]

So, wait.  Is the name Salved-angers, or Salve-dangers?

I'm pretty sure "salved" is not a word.  So my guess is Salve-dangers.

Yeah it's Salve-Dangers. 

"Salve - anything that soothes, mollifies, or relieves."

She relieves the dangers.  Shes the foggy barb damnit!  Unless she's using salve in the other usage -

"a medicinal ointment for healing or relieving wounds and sores."

[MrGimp]

The rest of 211 brought yet more artifacts.  First, an engineer got all eggheady on us and built a silver mechanism with spikes of oak.  What we will do with it I have no idea. 



Then we had a recruit get all uppity on us.  He gets into this mood, he goes all the way down to the bottom of the fortress and pushes one of the strand extractors out of his workshop.  He nearly got beaten for slowing down the production of adamantine strands...but he made up for it by carving Queen Urist a turtle shell idol of her beloved God, Ber Steelearthen.



Of course, after he carved this fine artifact, he became legendary for his bone carving skills.  *sigh*



Anyhoo, heres the adamantine slaves working the mines.  They do nothing all day but extract strands, and still they cant get shit done.  Theyve been down there over a year so far.  Jerks.




As for the Dungeon Master, relations have warmed a little.  She seems to really admire the work that Queen Urist had done so far, and as more and more dwarves came to live under the Queens rule, Ast's complaints of illegitimacy seemed completely irrelevant. 

Also, it helped that Urist had carved and engraved a wonderful room for the dungeon master, much nicer than anything she probably had at her old fortress. 



The dungeon master's room paled in comparison to Urist's chambers however.  Platinum thrones, platinum tables, golden statues, a chest full of artifacts, a waterfall right in the royal bedroom and plans for a multitude of adamantine statues to be placed throughout the palace. 

This is Blockedlance.  Opulence is mandatory.

[LegoLord]

You should make the statues out of Raw adamantine if you have a legendary stonecrafter.  You ultimately get more value out of it 'cause a metal adamantine statue takes 10 wafers.

[MrGimp]

You should make the statues out of Raw adamantine if you have a legendary stonecrafter.  You ultimately get more value out of it 'cause a metal adamantine statue takes 10 wafers.

Totally.  You only need refined adamantine for weapons and armor.  Urist is just barely sub-legendary as a mason.  When shes done getting to full legendary Ill have her carve the statues.

But yeah, I learned long ago of the tedious waste of making furniture from adamantine wafers.  haha

[Jackrabbit]

I only learned that recently. Ah well. Still, gold statues in the hundreds!

[AlienChickenPie]

"The Foggy Barbs" could be interpreted as a syringe, or its plant-derived dwarven counterpart, loaded with this opiate or the other.

[MrGimp]

Spring 212



Welcome to the town of Rifotkubuk, now with resized screenshots!



Here is the keep.  It's the defensive barrier that will be holding back the elf and goblin hordes in the years to come...if Armok would only be so kind as to rekindle the spark of bloodlust in their cold-blooded hearts.



Here is the upper section, with marksdwarves on lookout.

Urist built that entire stone wall herself (the wooden walls of the future horse corals were built by the carpenters).  Shes the only mason Blockedlance needs.  She honestly builds faster than a crew of non-legendaries would.



Heres the main hall.  Im expanding the dining area and placing glass windows.  It's not finished.  I'll also have other dining areas down below.



Here's the peasant residence hall.  Im expanding it north towards the river, and on the banks of that river Im going to build the peasant's communal statue garden.  You have to give the peasant's plenty of diversions if you want them to shut up about all the wealth and power youre accumulating.

Ignore the room being carved at the bottom left.



Here are the catacombs as of Spring 212.  It's pretty much all full.  The big room is the Dungeon Master's burial chamber.  I didn't want to do it, but what can you do?  I kept it simple, dolomite statues and a diorite coffin.  She's lucky she got smoothed floors.



I know Urist wouldnt have done it for any other noble, but the dungeon master not only worships the same god, but shes also one of those rare nobles that work...just like Queen Urist.  Here is Ast Lulledmerchant forging some random metal item now.

[MrGimp]

Urist approached Blockedlance's two carpenters.

"My good dwarves, you are getting very skilled in your art."

"Thank you, your majesty!" the two dwarves beamed.

"Tell me, how long would it take to build a wall as wide as a caravan's wagon?" asked the Queen.  It was an odd question.

"Um, not long at all.  Why?"

"The goblins have just arrived and are unloading their goods.  I want you to seal them inside the trade depot."

"Your majesty?"

"Just do it.  And go tell the marksdwarves to move over there on that ledge, where they can get a better shot of the depot."

"Um...yes your majesty," was the dutiful reply.

[Shoruke]

If you leave them in there long enough, they go ballistic. I did it to the elves in my fortress. It's quite humourous to watch the traders fight it out with their pack animals.

Shirty five horse fat?

Its a lot huh?  Its like, shirteen times eleventy.

I ishn't drunk. zhat zhere'sh shirty-five peesheshz of fatsh. Shee? I can countsh jusht fine.

[Jackrabbit]

Wo! Insane goblins fight puny mules and get shot! I love this

[MrGimp]

"Massster?" hissed the goblin under his breath.

"Yesss?" 

"The dwarvesss have nailed boardsss over the entrance!  We're trapped!"

"What?  No.  We're here to trade."  The goblin captain shouted to the marksdwarves on the hill, "Hey dwarf, we need to get out of here.  We have homesss and familiesss."

The marksdwarf smiled and held his crossbow high.  The goblins banged on the wooden blockade, screaming to be let out.  The marksdwarves just laughed.




"Oh no you wont..." said the marksdwarf squad leader as he aimed his crossbow for one of the goblins' heads.

[MrGimp]

The goblins were mercilessly cut down.  That will show them for trying to peacefully trade with dwarves!





Heres our two greatest champions.  Theyre actually wounded and dont train anymore, theyre really not our greatest...but they see the most action.  They werent in on the goblin slaughter but they did just kill some crazy dwarf who went berserk down in the lower levels and killed a strand extractor.  Fikkod Inodzoz is the only living dwarf who has killed a Spirit of Fire.  He's my favorite dude.



Speaking of our champions, one just bled to death.



But hey, he worships chaos war and fortresses, so its not a big deal if he dies from the chaos of simulated war in the barracks of our great fortress.



Just as Urist was ordering the champion an honorable burial, migrants arrived!  A tax collector, a hammerer, and a Baron and Baroness.  What was their first order of business you ask?



To evict the wife of the slain champion from her hovel, and force her to beg in the hallways.

Fucking nobles.





In other news, some eccentric dwarf carved Urist a highwood scepter, so that she could rule with a more complete set of regalia.

[MrGimp]

Right after the Baroness and Baron arrived, it struck Urist that enough dwarves lived in the area to call it not just a barony, but a county!  Besides, these nobles at least worshipped the same god as Urist, so why not give them an honorary promotion?  Urist wanted them to take over some of the administrative work anyways, she wasnt cut out to handle all these dwarves, all these problems, and all these details.

So, while she hated nobles, she wasnt too upset with these two.  If you have to have nobles, you might as well have nobles who depend on you as the source of their power, and their protector from the outside world.  These two did not inherit power, Blockedlance was far too young to have been inherited by this pair.  No, they had fled Letterclose many decades ago, somehow managing to hang onto their titles and wealth even after they lost their land.  And now this was their land.  Or at least, a nice opulent chunk of it would be.

Urist ordered a massive chamber carved out at rush speed.  Meanwhile, she tended to her duties as the Queen.  But the stress of her job was taking its toll on her...as one of the peasants would notice.



First Urist set aside time for a meeting.



The peasant was a bit late, seeing as how Urist had asked him to haul a barrel of sunshine down with him so they could get drunk during their meeting.  When he got there, he was just in time to see Urist running out the door.



She went upstairs.  The peasant loyally followed his Queen, hauling the sunshine barrel all the way back to the still, where the Queen was drinking sunshine.



Then they marched back downstairs, the peasant still hauling the booze.  The meeting at last took place.