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[Yoink]

Awesome! Great to see that bug fixed, and great to see some more wide-spread chaos happening!

[peregarrett]

United forces of goblins, kobolds and elves have fallen under the impassable walls of Blockedlance!
So awesome. Waiting for more!

[MrGimp]

The summer rains began.  And they continued all year.  It had rained before, and filled the old murky pools of the south swamps....but now it continued raining as the water spilled out into the outer ditch around the temple courtyard walls.



I dont know why it started spilling so much water all of a sudden....temperature and weather has always been on....but the courtyard ditch is now filling with water.  It continues until the moat is completely filled with water.  I guess I can turn it to magma now....but I was wanting to wall the murky pools off first.  Stupid monsoon rains!!!

Oh well.  Life goes on.



Dwarves die and dwarves are born.  Some cosmic wheel somewhere keeps spinning....or something like that.

288 is also the year where the dwarves finally start to feel a little ashamed for being naked all the time.  Early on, the inhabitants of Blockedlance had raided goblin caravans for silk.  Even the poorest of dwarves wore elaborate silk robes. But then those robes had rotted away, and with only humans and dwarves to trade with, the dwarves had clothes of only leather and cloth.  When the caravans stopped coming, and the leather and cloth had rotted off their bodies, the dwarves had become accustomed to wearing only mud, blood, and vomit to hide their ugly bits.  They had done so for many decades.  Being the party-animal alcoholics that they were, it had not bothered them too much.

All but one dwarf....a dwarf Urist had come to call Clovos. 





Clovos was obsessed with restoring the civilized dignity of clothed sentient beings.  As long as there was breathe in his lungs....he swore there would be pants!





Two other dwarves gained notable names this year.

One dwarf has become socially awkward, and quite paranoid after the death of his brother Afrosquirrel.  All he wanted was to hide away from the crazy dwarves he was trapped with.  His hermetic tendencies were held back by his loyalty and love of his family...but he knew that when he got his chance he would leave this cursed death pit.  His morose anti-social behavior was noticed by the Empress, and she gave him the name 'Nuthulu'.



Another dwarf in the Kurkish clan touched Urist much more deeply though.  He had taken up his dead father's rose quartz grunge harp, and though the poor young dwarf made the fortress halls an unbearable place to be when he played, Urist had faith that with practice he could one day be as melodic and yet chromatic as his grunge harpist father.  From now on, the young musician would be known as 'Ubermensch'.

[EmperorNuthulu]

"Likes giant rats for their strength" Wow you really found one of the oddest dwarves imaginable. Keep going with the updates, and lets hope the dwarves get their pants soon.

[Keltiknight]

Hey, could I get on this train to Armok-based death? gladiator fighter dwarf  if possible.(I assume ya still collect monsters to toss in the arena for people to fight.) If not, one of the surface dwarves, preferably a woodcutter or herbalist. Great story, Can't wait for more, it pretty much surpasses Boatmurdered in my eyes.      

[MrGimp]

Hey, could I get on this train to Armok-based death? gladiator fighter dwarf  if possible.(I assume ya still collect monsters to toss in the arena for people to fight.) If not, one of the surface dwarves, preferably a woodcutter or herbalist. Great story, Can't wait for more, it pretty much surpasses Boatmurdered in my eyes.      

Hell yeah, all are welcomed on the train to death!  I need to use the arena more again anyways, so in ya go Keltknight!!!  I still have some masterwork adamantine battle-axes lying around from our old dead warriors.  Ill give you one of those.

[Keltiknight]

Hey, could I get on this train to Armok-based death? gladiator fighter dwarf  if possible.(I assume ya still collect monsters to toss in the arena for people to fight.) If not, one of the surface dwarves, preferably a woodcutter or herbalist. Great story, Can't wait for more, it pretty much surpasses Boatmurdered in my eyes.      

Hell yeah, all are welcomed on the train to death!  I need to use the arena more again anyways, so in ya go Keltknight!!!  I still have some masterwork adamantine battle-axes lying around from our old dead warriors.  Ill give you one of those.

Awesome! Either I will die ten seconds in, or ten years in, either way, it will be comical, and likely epic.

[Ganondwarf]

ZOMG I'VE BEEN READING THIS FOR A WEEK AND IT'S STILL GOING?!?!!?!?!
And I skipped like 50 pages, too...
Well, if you don't mind naming another dwarf...Ganon, please. Any role that will be cool to read about, thanks.

Oh, and btw, how did you get Urist to slaughter civilians with her bare fists all those pages ago? Come to think of it, I haven't tried, but I didn't think you could order squads to attack civilians.

[Argonnek]

That's only in the new version. Blockedlance is played in 40d, which has a much more simplified combat and military system. The mass slaughter is most likely done using dwarven "Justice."

[MrGimp]

Yeah, if the nobles make demands, and you dont fulfill them, dwarves get lined up for a beating from the captain of the guard.  After many decades every single dwarf winds up on the list, and assigning a strong dwarf like Urist to the post will cause destruction of the fort.

[MrGimp]

Spring 289.  85 Years of Uristian occupation, 80 years of Royal/Imperial rule.



Urist made the heir apparent to the Kurkish Clan (since the eldest son Johann Schmidt had been abducted by goblins) the new trader so that he could get a purply flashy title, as befits an heir to a noble clan.  However, since young Denisol Noblerope has only ever been a strand extractor, he has very poor counting and arithmetic skills.  Until he learns his trade, we have no economic reports.

It proves to be a trifling matter however...



...for who could care about economic reports when ANOTHER horde of do-gooder crusaders stalk our land?

It still seems odd to many a dwarf that the demon-worshiping goblins would crusade alongside elves...



...perhaps the centuries of war between goblin and dwarf just ran too deep in their blood?  Perhaps too many goblins had lost their immortal lives in a dwarven fort for them to ever forgive?

Still....to side with elves was an unholy horror.



They would pay for their stupidity with their lives. 





The slaughter was great, and afterwards, Jazz and MadMonkey24 decided to go relax and sip some rat weed tea.  MadMonkey went ahead, but before Jazz made it across the bridge, another horde of greenskins sprung an ambush upon him!





Dodging their flames, our mightiest Champion Lord Jazz sent the goblins flying to the left and to the right.  A goblin corpse or two was even flung into the lava by the force of his blows.  See the goblin corpses on the far left?  Jazz was standing in the ash cloud when he sent them flying.  They were stopped only by two trees that unfortunately halted the awesome.



Still very far to toss a guy with an axe chop though.

In the flames and the fury, Jazz had allowed the bridge to be burned down, and nearly fell in the lava himself.  Now he was trapped outside the safety of the fortress walls, and cutoff from our other axelord champion MadMonkey24.  A couple Khamerites were trapped like refugees alongside him, hoping more crusaders would not arrive before they could get back inside.

Giovanni was there to lend his architectural talents to build a bridge....and a snide comment or two.







At the end of the wave of goblins, we receive news of the death of another champion.  It saddens the hearts of all to know we have lost another.....but the dwarves soon realize that this Champion did not die by the hands of goblin or elf or kobold...or even dwarf.  No......something much stranger has happened....



The Champion Marksdwarf Tazgrent has become the first military dwarf to die of old age in all of dwarven history. 

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

You can derive two things from that death.
1. This military is superbly awesome.
2. This fortress is superbly boring.
All who pick #2 may visit the baptismal chamber.

[Tradanbattlan]

The military is so impenetrable that the soldiers die of old age in the battlefield.

...

You should capture a kobold. Keep it in a cell. Make it watch the horrors of Blockedlance. It will watch the fate that befalls its kind.

[AdeleneDawner]

I am *amazed* that this is still going.

*watches*

[MrGimp]

With the death of their brother Afrosquirrel still fresh in their minds, many Kurkites struggle to win Urist's approval.  A Khamerite Miller even gets moody and delves into real ass kissing craftwork.



Sucking up to the Empress and giving her things is always a good idea.  This dwarf is also very smart and knows exactly what the Empress wants.  He built her a goblin bone throne.  It may not be worth more than the adamantine throne that Urist sits on now....but fuck adamantine anyways.  Goblin Bone > Adamantine.



From now on Urist rules from a goblin bone throne.  The adamantine throne will be moved to her dining room (next to her artifact adamantine table) and her golden dining chair will wind up somewhere (not sure where yet).

While sitting on her lovely goblin bone throne Urist is brought news of a new migrant.  We have not gotten one of these in a long time.  It looks like someone has finally come to fill Kurk Quorcane's old position as Philosopher.





We welcome the easy-going Armok worshiper into the fortress, confident that he will know his place and not make any demands of us.



All the while, the Khamerites and Kurkites are pushed to build the base of a new tower by the young Giovanni.  Between the two main gates of the fortress entrance itself, a large walkway was built with a gallery above.



Overseen by Urist's children, the old windmill tower was broken down and the base of the tower expanded.  Khamerite child labor was utilized.



Unfortunately, children are not the most skilled of workers.  Due to their ineptitude, and the Architect Giovanni's lack of experience, a section of the tower base collapses down several z -levels.



A Khamerite child is wounded....but who cares?



Someone much more precious to the Empress has been struck on the head with a mass of giant stone blocks.  When the smoke clears, and the rubble is dug through, the body of Prince NobodyPro is found...lifeless and smashed beyond recognition.