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[MrGimp]

Hey, could I have a character, either somebody even mildly significant or someone with potential for plot.

Yep.  Youre next on the list for one of Urist's evil offsprings!

[MrGimp]

Oh my, a cliffhanger!
Still following your fantastic tale, Mr Gimp!
Since September 09 I realise? Gosh...

Yeah this story has been going on since December 08.  Pretty damn old.

Sorry everyone, I have been having trouble keeping regular updates lately.  Some major developments have been happening in my life.  I dont want to take the spotlight away from the story so Ill wait to fill you guys in.  But yeah....Im climbing the career ladder trying to get my purple flashing title.  Its pretty good times....but requires 80-90 hour workweeks.  =[

[NobodyPro]

Sorry everyone, I have been having trouble keeping regular updates lately.  Some major developments have been happening in my life.  I dont want to take the spotlight away from the story so Ill wait to fill you guys in.  But yeah....Im climbing the career ladder trying to get my purple flashing title.  Its pretty good times....but requires 80-90 hour workweeks.  =[

I seem to remember everyone being patient when you misjudged the thickness of your beard so don't worry. Good luck in whatever you're doing.

[MrGimp]

Sorry everyone, I have been having trouble keeping regular updates lately.  Some major developments have been happening in my life.  I dont want to take the spotlight away from the story so Ill wait to fill you guys in.  But yeah....Im climbing the career ladder trying to get my purple flashing title.  Its pretty good times....but requires 80-90 hour workweeks.  =[

I seem to remember everyone being patient when you misjudged the thickness of your beard so don't worry. Good luck in whatever you're doing.

Id like to think my beard is plenty thick.   

[MrGimp]

Urist was caught off guard, but she was no coward.  She grabbed the only weapon at hand (her baby) and swung at the charging assassins.  She clubbed one over the head, knocking him unconscious.  Then she swung Princess Yoigen at the fallen dwarf over and over again until the assassins body was a bloody mess.  Urist looked over at Kulaka, only to find him running around the room like one of the three stooges.  Urist knew this fight was hers and hers alone.  Uh....and Yoigen's of course.  Urist slammed her infant daughter against the other four assassins, who now surrounded her.  They couldnt touch her.  Urist dodges punches the way Neo dodges bullets.  Her wrestling ability and superdwarven toughness was just too great.  In the end, she drove her infant straight through the chests of the four other assassins, ripping their upper bodies open and pulverizing their vital organs. 

None survived.



Urist received no injuries, Kulaka however was in a pathetic crying state after injuring his hand punching an assassin.



In the end, Urist stood above the bodies of the deceased peasant assassins.  She took joy in the slaughter, and chiseled another five notches on her kill wall.



Although the attack failed, it still sent a shockwave through the Imperial family.  Urist and Kulaka had to move quickly to respond, but they knew not who they could trust.  Only Mogror was reliable now, and he was immediately called to the palace where his first reaction was to joyously loot the corpses of the slain.



Mogror then grabbed a couple Khamerite peasants and forced them at sword point to drag their brethren to their graves.  Then Mogror told them to tell their father and mother what they had seen here this day, for this was the fate of all who opposed Urist. 

Fear rippled through the Khamerite clan from bottom to top.  Tantrums and fist fights broke out immediately as the family realized the predicament they were now in.  Baron von Freden knew that any members of the military that were still loyal to Urist would be coming soon to relieve him and his grandmother (Khameros mother, the markdwarf Asmel Zulbandek) of their weapons and armor.  Civil war was inevitable.

Tallpanzer was even driven completely insane and turned violently upon his family.





What would become of the fortress?  Only time would tell....

[TALLPANZER]

Must find Mogror! I have to throw a party at his grave! GWAH HAHAHAHAAAAA! Then I can burn him to make ashes, then those ashes can be made into lye! LYE! LYE! I MAKE LYE! Come on it's a party!

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

I'm glad I'm with Urist.

[EvilFuzzy9]

Ho. Ly. Crap. I think this might just be one of the most epic fort-stories in existence -- it's certainly one of the best I've ever seen. It's like the insanity of Boatmurdered and the epic-ness of Syrupleaf mixed their spores to create a bastard love-child that went on to become one of the longest-running forts in existence.

With that said, I must say that the literary analyst in me cannot help but compare Queen Empress Urist with Macbeth from 'you-know-what' -- both are heroic warriors who go on to usurp the thrones of their respective kingdoms and become terrible tyrants, who grow increasingly paranoid and violent as the fear of death overwhelms them. Except Macbeth's king actually respected him. And Macbeth was not catering to the twisted machinations of an ancient god of blood/thinly-veiled metaphor for the player, but the ambition of his wife. And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

Though I can believe that no dwarf of woman born would ever be able to kill her. And I'm pretty sure that the charred remnants of the forest aren't going to be marching on the stronghold of Blockedlance any time soon, so there's also that.

Any way, I guess I might as well hop on for ride. Give me a dwarf named 'Fuzzybeard' (it doesn't really matter what gender) and make 'em a wood-cutter/bowyer/wood-crafter. S/He will proudly do hir duty to protect dwarf-kind from the terror of the leafy-menace while churning out enough crossbows and bolts to arm a force large enough to kill even Armok (hypothetically speaking, of course. ...though should Queen Empress Urist ever feel like wresting the secrets of godhood and immortality from the cold, lifeless hands of a dead god, then Fuzzybeard would only be perfectly happy to oblige her majesty's request...).

[Argonnek]

And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

...Guilt? What's that?

[Innominate]

And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

...Guilt? What's that?

I think guilt is when your infant child is only used to bludgeon 5 goblins to death before being pierced by an arrow.

[Ze Spy]

And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

...Guilt? What's that?

I think guilt is when your infant child is only used to bludgeon 5 goblins to death before being pierced by an arrow.

I am pretty sure Guilt Means "I am Not a Real Man"

[bayar]

And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

...Guilt? What's that?

I think guilt is when your infant child is only used to bludgeon 5 goblins to death before being pierced by an arrow.

I am pretty sure Guilt Means "I am Not a Real Man"

For some reason, I don't think Urist feels any guilt for ritual sacrifice of all those infants and children and dwarves and everything. And I sincerely doubt that MrGimp really cares.

Edit:quote fuck-up

[MrGimp]

I'm glad I'm with Urist.

That may not save you at this point.   

Ho. Ly. Crap. I think this might just be one of the most epic fort-stories in existence -- it's certainly one of the best I've ever seen. It's like the insanity of Boatmurdered and the epic-ness of Syrupleaf mixed their spores to create a bastard love-child that went on to become one of the longest-running forts in existence.

With that said, I must say that the literary analyst in me cannot help but compare Queen Empress Urist with Macbeth from 'you-know-what' -- both are heroic warriors who go on to usurp the thrones of their respective kingdoms and become terrible tyrants, who grow increasingly paranoid and violent as the fear of death overwhelms them. Except Macbeth's king actually respected him. And Macbeth was not catering to the twisted machinations of an ancient god of blood/thinly-veiled metaphor for the player, but the ambition of his wife. And Macbeth actually felt guilt over the things he did, to the point where he could not sleep and thus became increasingly paranoid.

Damn.  Did I just get compared to Shakespeare?   lol! 

I assure you....this thread is just the insane ramblings of a mad hermit.  But its good to see the character arc of Urist comes through.

Any way, I guess I might as well hop on for ride. Give me a dwarf named 'Fuzzybeard' (it doesn't really matter what gender) and make 'em a wood-cutter/bowyer/wood-crafter. S/He will proudly do hir duty to protect dwarf-kind from the terror of the leafy-menace while churning out enough crossbows and bolts to arm a force large enough to kill even Armok (hypothetically speaking, of course. ...though should Queen Empress Urist ever feel like wresting the secrets of godhood and immortality from the cold, lifeless hands of a dead god, then Fuzzybeard would only be perfectly happy to oblige her majesty's request...).

I can give you next in line for a Urist spawn after Nobody Pro, but they will take a while to grow up.  Or I can give you a grown Kurkish or Khamerite peasant-noble.  Let me know what you would prefer.

[MrGimp]

Brick Wall or Comedy Gold? 

Ok, so disaster has struck (repeatedly).  And not the good kind...although....maybe it is.

There have been.......issues.   I actually ran this fight several times before I settled on the above scenario that I posted in that last story post.  What kept happening was that Urist slammed her infant around so badly that she killed her over and over.  I was actually cool with that, I thought it was funny.  But it kept causing Urist to turn hostile to her children, and so she ended up killing the Crown Prince Lucifer over and over.....and that just isnt proper maternal instincts.

So I figured I would just have to play the fight through until she didnt kill the kid, and go with that.  So it worked, she wasnt hostile, so it was fine.  I posted it.  Well....apparently dwarf companions berserk switch doesnt work entirely well.  Urist, Yoigen, and Kulaka are hostile to the Khamerites now.  Kulaka has beaten a Khamerite child to death.  Urist scares even her Kurkish allies away and is constantly interrupting jobs around the fortress.  And it hasnt happened across the board evenly.  Many Khamerites are still loyal to Urist, and actually turn hostile on other Khamerites.  Its like the fight between Urist and the berserk dwarves has caused a schism throughout the fortress.

So I reverted the save.  I went into Dwarf Companion and changed their civilization tag before making them berserk.  Didnt help.  Nothing seems to work, Urist and Kulaka become hostile to a seemingly random half of the fortress every single time.  It includes one or two of their own children most times too. 

Should we go ahead and split the fortress and let the shit hit the fan and fly where it may?  That may make Ragnarok a less bloody affair if everyone dies now instead of later.  It will also slow down progress on the adventure tunnels.  What are the audiences wishes?  Should I revert the save and not do the peasant fight?  Should I keep trying to find a way to get it done without glitching fortress loyalties?  Should I just go with it and laugh at the spectacle of senseless death and the possible loss of the entire fortress and royal lineage?

Let me know gods dammit!

[Lovechild]

Revert the save. Turns out this was another odd dream. A prediction of what is to come, perhaps...