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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432536 times)

vrga

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2160 on: December 13, 2010, 11:54:48 am »

mr gimp, could we get screenshots of urist's thoughts and preferences and kill screens?
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Zeocin's take on the current situation in Ardentdikes:
Otherwise known as the Release Urist Now Apocalyptic Weapon of Arse Yerking, or the R.U.N.A.W.A.Y. system.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2161 on: December 14, 2010, 01:16:58 am »

Can I be the one who enforces his brother Lucifer's will without thought? (So I don't die?)

Ha!  You think THAT will save you?  In this world, we play by Armok's rules.  EVERYONE dies.



Oh, wow! This story is great, I just checked back for the first time in a while... Can I hop in line for the next dwarf to be born anywhere in the fortress? Name 'em Yoigan, if that's okay. :)
Keep up the story!

Okay youre in after Steel.



Yay for not being beaten to madness!
Am I old enough to place work orders yet?
or Am I a "working class" nob?

You are a good hard working yoeman of the land (a sucker).  You make lye.  Then you turn it into potash.  Then you go make lye again.



Woo! As far as I currently know, I live! Live to hoard everything I can in my room!

Whats your characters name again?  Chare?  Yeah shes still hoarding.  And Ive been putting golden statues all throughout you and your siblings' rooms.  Gotta have some bling bling, all proper and shit.



mr gimp, could we get screenshots of urist's thoughts and preferences and kill screens?






All her notable kills are dwarves, but she hasnt killed in a long time.  Urist hungers for more dwarf blood.


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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

vrga

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2162 on: December 14, 2010, 05:39:11 am »

hmmm... i would have figured she'd have a higher kill-count than just 32... (on the dorf screen at least, i guess murder by lever doesnt count :p )
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Zeocin's take on the current situation in Ardentdikes:
Otherwise known as the Release Urist Now Apocalyptic Weapon of Arse Yerking, or the R.U.N.A.W.A.Y. system.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2163 on: December 14, 2010, 05:34:36 pm »

hmmm... i would have figured she'd have a higher kill-count than just 32... (on the dorf screen at least, i guess murder by lever doesnt count :p )

Yeah, unfortunately the ordering of mass death doesnt really count as murder.....which is pretty much how it is in real life too.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2164 on: December 14, 2010, 10:18:27 pm »

Spring 281

Winston Smith wandered aimlessly along the edge of the lava moat.  He had been given an order to build a wall.  He had built the wall exactly to Big Brother's expectations (any other way was suicide).  Upon completion he found himself ledged up and stuck.  He cried to be let out.  He begged for others to deconstruct the wall.  He begged for permission to deconstruct the wall himself.  However, he knew not to damage the fortress without permission.  He loved the fortress as he loved Big Brother.  Surely Big Brother would not forget such a loyal and industrious unit of production as himself....





Winston's body now lays next to the lava, half cooked by the heat and smelling delightful...much better than the vomitous lard cooked up in the mess hall, in fact.  Meat rations were graciously raised for the peasants for a week after his death.  Double plus good!




Later on in this very same year....something incredible happened.  There are just no words.....



Can you believe it?  Holy Armok in Hell.  I have NEVER had a dwarf die of old age.  Ever.  I havent even had animals die of old age until this fortress. 

This fortress is just ungodly old. 





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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

TALLPANZER

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2165 on: December 14, 2010, 10:28:34 pm »

well, except for us nob bratz, the fort is full of old dwarfs. Soon all of the old guard will die, and all their deeds will turn to dust as they do.
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"So while a handful of psychopaths in lab coats are turning Japan into a land of mythological beasties to bang, the USSA's drowning in stupidity, China doesn't exist anymore, and Canada's just sitting there waiting for all this shit to blow over so they can go back to being Canada. Oh, and South Korea think they're Zerg now." <-Slag explains fallout in a nutshell

JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2166 on: December 14, 2010, 10:47:31 pm »

The fort itself is 81 years old. Blockedlanced from when Urist started to rebuild it to now is 77 years old.
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As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.

bayar

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2167 on: December 15, 2010, 03:11:51 am »

Do you get tantrum spirals if alot of dwarves die of old age ?
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Akigagak

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2168 on: December 15, 2010, 05:44:02 am »

Do you get tantrum spirals if alot of dwarves die of old age ?

Hell yes.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

darkflagrance

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2169 on: December 15, 2010, 07:40:30 am »

Do you get tantrum spirals if alot of dwarves die of old age ?

Hell yes.

So true. This was the biggest obstacle when I experimented with decreasing the lifespan of dwarves to 10 years (and the length of childhood correspondingly to 1). The natural death of each generation threatened to destroy the fort.
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2170 on: December 15, 2010, 11:53:49 am »

Chapter #19 - The Day the Music Died

You know you want to hear the song

You wont believe it...



The legendary grunge harpist plays no more.  Kurk Quorcane has keeled over.  Urist's former lover and the clan leader of her only allies against Khamero is now dead and beginning to rot into food for the worms and maggots.  Urist is stunned by the news.  She cannot believe that TWO dwarves would have the NERVE to die without her ordering it!  Seriously....NO ONE has died here outside of the glory of battle or Urists plans.  (oh and suicide due to lack of shell too)

She had run to his room when she had heard the news.  Urist had shoved the widowed Dungeon Master Petbeard aside, and knelt at the corpse.

"Kurk...."

She picked up his hand and held it.  It was cold, and already stiffening from rigor mortis.  She stood before weakness and tears overtook her.  She looked down at the disobedient dead dwarf and shouted.

"I order you to stand Kurk Quorcane!"  The other dwarves in the room gave each other odd looks.  "I am Urist Salvedangers, Empress of Dwarves, and I ORDER you to live!"  There was a moment of silence.  She shouted again.  "I ORDER IT!!!!!!"  Kurk simply refused to get up.

Urist did not understand.  She held the power of Death over these dwarves.  Why could she not wield the power of Life?

She felt like King Canute trying to hold back the tide, only to find that regal dignity received no respect from the forces of nature. 

Kurk was dead, and would never rise again.  Such was the curse on the heads of all mortals....

« Last Edit: January 07, 2011, 02:46:56 am by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

TALLPANZER

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2171 on: December 15, 2010, 12:12:52 pm »

I hope you have a nice Tomb set aside for him. Lye to ashes, ashes to fertilizer.
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"So while a handful of psychopaths in lab coats are turning Japan into a land of mythological beasties to bang, the USSA's drowning in stupidity, China doesn't exist anymore, and Canada's just sitting there waiting for all this shit to blow over so they can go back to being Canada. Oh, and South Korea think they're Zerg now." <-Slag explains fallout in a nutshell

Argonnek

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2172 on: December 15, 2010, 12:14:36 pm »

It's only a matter of time before the Queen herself suffers the ravages of age...

filiusenox

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2173 on: December 15, 2010, 03:50:41 pm »

I always thought Kurk Quorcane was going to die from a crossbow bolt to the head after eating to much quarcane.
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"No, I'm being obstinate for the sake of I hate you."

nil

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Re: Blockedlance - An Heir is Born!
« Reply #2174 on: December 15, 2010, 07:46:16 pm »

I always thought Kurk Quorcane was going to die from a crossbow bolt to the head after eating to much quarcane.
clearly that crazy dungeon master did it, she only married him for the money and status anyway
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