Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Feh, cruelty is cruelty. Mogror is always happy to see a bit of suffering.

[Ze Spy]

the Northeners Better Run , its their only　ｗａｙ　to win

[Innominate]

The northerners probably don't realise that the queen was actually looking for a slightly larger head to balance out the left leg of her head-throne. Their timely gift is most excellent.

[Ninja Pichu]

I have a feeling that the expressions on those heads are going to be the expressions on the northerner's heads when Empress Urist sweeps down upon them.

(Also, when my dwarf finally does appear, she should be snooty and high-class. You know, the kind of dwarf that dwarves hate.)

[MrGimp]

Christes sat at a low wooden table in the infinite void, sipping tea and watching her crazy telepathic friend.  He had been steadily losing his sanity....which was really a site to behold because he had already been totally out of his mind.  Who could blame him?  His emotions had been played with.  He had sensed the coming end of the world, the end of all of his eternal suffering....and yet...it would not come.  Each 'day' would pass, as bleak and empty and white as all the countless days before.  His powers of psychic manifestation and material manipulation bored him.  There was nothing keeping him from being a God in this void....and yet he longed only for his self-destruction.

"Why?" moaned the voice of the telepath inside Christes' mind.  He had been staring out over the void without moving for what must have been months now.  He had been completely lifeless, and Christes was caught off guard by his speech.

"Why what?" asked Christes.

"Why wont it end?" he cried.  There was silence for a moment.  Christes did not know how to answer.  "It should have ended already!  Why wont it just end?!"

"What if Ragnarok has already taken place, and the world didnt end afterall?"

"Then we may never die!!!  Oh curse the thought!!!" shrieked the voice of the telepath.  He flailed his arms and then smacked his head repeatedly from both sides in an attempt to get the thought out of his mind.  It was almost as if he was afraid it would manifest itself into reality.  "Long ago my link to the outside world was lost....if ever I existed outside of the void.  You!  You still have a psychic link to that Blockedlance place of yours!  A great deal have you learned in your years in the void!  Yes!  Open your mind and tell me what you see of your home.  Has the end of the world passed us by?  Has Armok slain the elder gods?  Has evil truly triumphed over good?"

"Alright alright....I will try..." Christes closed her eyes and thought of her old home.  She had been cut off from the fortress of Blockedlance for many decades, but her powers of telepathy had also grown greatly, and she could envision much with her mind's eye. 

"Well....what do you see?"

"Yes I see the fog rolling down from the mountain tops of the Ruthless Tower.  Above the morning mist rises the Pyramid of Urist and the Temple of Blood.  I see....many signs of recent battle.  There are scorch marks, ash piles, and mounds of goblin corpses - "

"Goblin?" interrupted the telepath.  "What about Elves?  No Elves?  It's the Elves and their Gods who will confront Armok at the end of days."

"There are many elf bones scattered all around....but they feel to me as if they have been there for quite some time."

"Well then we still have a chance to die!" boomed the voice of the telepath in Christes' head.  It was eerily happy as it said such words.

"Yes....lucky us..." muttered Christes. 

[MrGimp]

Yo, to keep people interested during the lull, here is the earliest save of Blockedlance that I have (as far as I know at least).  Its Blockedlance circa 235, roughly three decades ago.  For the hardcore fans it might be interesting to see what the fort used to look like way back when.


http://www.wheresmypage.com/DF/spring235.zip


Just save it and unzip it, then set it as your save folder for DF 40d.

[MrGimp]

Spring 263.



It had been a long time coming.  Time had seemed to stand still in Blockedlance ever since those heads had been mailed over.  The Queen had hunkered down with her few trusted advisers, but with only two non-crippled champions and eight crappy marksdwarves there wasnt much she could do about the situtation, no matter how much she had wanted to.  She had relied too heavily on fear alone.  She would need to back her threats up soon, lest she be seen as a weak and ineffectual ruler.  She needed to send some kind of army northwards to impose her will....but where would this army come from?  It would take too long to breed these Armok worshipers and train them into a fighting machine, and Urist wouldnt want to lose her precious blood cultists anyways.

What to do?  What to do?

There wasnt much she could do.  No matter how powerful she was here in Blockedlance, far to the north, a thousand miles away, she was powerless.

Powerlessness wouldnt do.  Powerlessness was for peasants.

[LINKedup]

Just finished reading and GAT DAMN! This story is some crazy shit. Can't wait to see how awesome the ending is.

[Christes]

Hey, Christes is still around!

I await the conflict eagerly.

[12innigma]

Simply amazing read.

[MrGimp]

Eagle crawled naked in the mud.  His clothes had long ago rotted away, and he had never bothered trying to stitch anything else together.  He had abandoned the ways of civilization.  He now dug for roots and tubers with his bare hands.  He had gone without booze for many years.  Thankfully, he had at last solved that problem and had been enjoying alcohol again.  However, now he had run out of plump helmet spawn.  He had simply eaten it all...or it rotted....or....something.  There just wasnt any more spawning spores for his plump helmet farm.  His stocks were running extremely low, and so he had taken to digging in the mud of his tower cap garden looking for any kinds of edible cave flora. 

He groaned and grunted while he dug feverishly, cackling with glee everytime he pulled a plump helmet out of the ground and tossed it in his barrel.

He was a filthy, muddy, insane, babbling hermit now.  He had not spoken in many years.  It was questionable how much dwarven speech he could even remember at this point.  Even his thoughts had ceased being in dwarvish, and consisted only of sights, sounds, smells, and emotions now.

But here in this dark cave, this mad hermit continues to cling to life.  His mud scrounging this season yielded enough plump helmets to last another few years at least.  It was a tenuous existence...but still safer than living under Urist's rule.

[MrGimp]

The tax collector xczxc hung from the ceiling by a sturdy iron chain with his arms behind his back.  His legs were chained as well, and had been pulled higher towards the ceiling.  All the blood rushed to his head, and his face hung precariously above a plethora of menacing spikes.

"For the last time xczxc, tell us what we want to know!" Mogror shouted as he further tightened the chain on xczxc's feet, stretching his body painfully. 

"I don't know anything else!  I told you everything I know!!!" xczxc shrieked.  He had committed the crime of being a northerner from the land of the Jade Irons.  He had a foul northern accent and a dreadful northern name, and since the heads in boxes incident, he had been receiving some brutal treatment at the sadistic hands of Mogror Harbett.

Mogror whipped xczxc with some dead goblins rusted iron scourge.  "Liar!!!" he cried.  Mogror cackled with glee as xczxc's body shivered from the pain. 

"No!"

"Haha!  YES!!!"  Mogror whipped him again.

"Please!  I've told you everything!  The king of the Jade Irons has conquered several goblin fortresses.  His power.....he thinks it rivals the Empress I'm sure.  He's mad!!!  Why must I be punished for his madness?!"

"Because it's hilarious!" shouted Mogror as he grabbed an old iron mace and beat on xczxc's kidneys.  xczxc could only muster the strength to let out a long, low groan.

At that moment, the Empress walked in.  "Anything new yet?"

"Nah....he told us everything he knew in the first five minutes.  I've just been having fun with him the past few months." laughed Mogror with a bright beaming yellow smile.  From the base of his crooked broken teeth, his gums pussed and bled from gingivitis.  His breath was terrible.

"Oh," said the Empress holding her breath and batting the air in front of her face.  She coughed.  "Carry on then...." she said at last, before excusing herself from Mogror's foul torture pit.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Well let's see how good your teeth look when you're 2000 years old.

[MrGimp]

Spring 264.

(I was too stoned to take a picture.  Im pretty sure it looked pretty much like the last one.)

Empress Urist was her old happy self again this year. The human and dwarven caravans that had come at the end of last year were guarded by fine mercenaries.  Urist had persuaded their captains to combine forces in an assault on the northerners.  She also provided extra gold in order to procure more troops along the way.  She also sent riders to the court of Prince Byakugan, the merchant prince of Behal Ladgi.  These humans had always been stalwart allies of the dwarves, and would surely provide whatever help they could. 

Urist was again confident of her position.  She even forgave the tax collector xczxc for being northern scum!  How merciful an Empress she was!



And so when the noble Vucar something-or-other went insane and got into some crafts, Urist was delighted to see his magnificent artifact...



A PERCH bone sword???  How big is this fish you ask?  Well here is a picture of the dwarfy bastard that caught it.  This is actually a picture of him catching it.  He just walked right in, picked it right up, and took it home with him.



It made a mighty fine meal and a mighty fine sword.  Worth 51,600 copper coins it is.  And its got a picture of a table and a bear on it.  What more could you ask for?


The rest of the year wasnt as happy as the beginning though.  Curly died this year deep in the mining tunnels.  A big stone slab fell on him and crushed him.  Now he is one with the stone, as all dwarves are destined to be.





Oh well...

Life moves on.  He is easily replaced.

[Huesoo]

Yo dude how am I doing?