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[Ze Spy]

*CRASH*

WHO SENT ALL THOSE DOORS TO FIGHT?

[Plank of Wood]

You know shit's gotten real in this game when it can knock down a forbidden door.

[MrGimp]

Well Ive been trying the new DF when I get spare time, haha, sorry for the lack of updates.  (Dont put any new DF spoilers in the thread please....I havent hit the new HFS yet and Im trying to keep my fingers in my ears!)

Im a little ahead of the story right now.  Ill try to post some updates later. 

I have backup saves of the fort for every spring since that one elf prancing incident where I lost the save.  So that goes back to 237.  Then I have some saves before that.  So I can let people check out certain dates in the fortress no problem.

Oh man....I got a new job.  In the OC (orange county) too!  You know that show the OC?  Or that other one the Hills?  With all the rich shitty people?  Yeah.  Thats where I work now.  My boss just bought a seven million dollar home right on the beach.  My other boss has a 9 million dollar home.  All three partners of this company have many tens of millions of dollars, maybe even a hundred million or two for one of the guys.

Douchebags.

I wanna be a rich douchebag too though, so Im slaving for them.  Its a programming job...and unlike my last employer, these people can afford to pay.  I just gotta work like a bitch for shit money for two months.  Then I make slightly less shit money.  Then...who knows?  They really seem to like me so far (because I work hard for nothing).  The other spoiled workers there complained and were cussing the lobby guy out because the building AC wasnt cold enough for them the other day.  Fucking nobles.  Oh boo hoo its so hot.  I barely noticed it.  Ive worked on factory assembly lines before.  THAT is a hot workplace.  Not no damn beachfront office tower with constant AC.

Nobles.   

Its nice though.  I havent yet fulfilled my mission of becoming a filthy shitty noble....but Im like, a legendary craftsdwarf or something close to it.  Someday soon Ill be able to afford a room with some engravings and a couple birchen chests!

[Ze Spy]

Cool , Gimp

lets just hope his new boss ain't a asshole

[Innominate]

Good luck with that! I'm working towards becoming a Legendary Programmer as well, but I have ACTIVITY_LEVEL at 20, which makes things difficult. I'd estimate my skill at Proficient: I'm fine with access to the internet or the luxury of fast compile times (for spotting mistakes mainly), but I haven't even gotten to the hard stuff; when you're wading knee-deep through bitwise operators with aplomb and plucking incomprehensible algorithms from the ether, that's when know you've hit Legendary.

What sort of programming work is it?

[MrGimp]

Its web development.  Front end and back end.  Ive built a couple landers so far.  Just simple pages they can put out in ad campaigns.  There are 88 domains on the list I am the programmer for.  Ive built 2 landers so far.  86 more to go. 

My main project though, has and will be building the CRM (big interactive customer database) and linking it to the telemarketing division with APIs that link to individual agent computer phones.  So somebody lands on one of our pages and clicks it,a box comes up asking for their phone number.  They put it in, and it goes to our system which hooks them up with the next available agent and calls both the agent and the customer at the same time.  Then the agent does his spiel, and if the customer says yeah then the agent puts their info in, name number email, blah blah blah.  Then that goes into the CRM and the contact info goes into email, mail, and phone spam campaigns.

Typical corporate douchebaggery.  And now Im programming it.  I have sold my soul to Armok.  And it feels good.

[Moose Fisher]

Typical corporate douchebaggery.

That doesn't sound like douchebaggery at all.  It's simply a way to organize information for profit.  After all, a company can't survive without money.  No money means no jobs.

[The Architect]

I'm pretty sure that qualifies as total douchebaggery.

However, if people are stupid enough to give their phone number online, they somewhat deserve it.

[Moose Fisher]

Whoops, I somehow glossed over the last part.  Yeah, spam messages are annoying.

There would likely be a warning about that occurring if the customer puts in their info...  Right?

[gumball135]

''I have backup saves of the fort for every spring since that one elf prancing incident where I lost the save.  So that goes back to 237.  Then I have some saves before that.  So I can let people check out certain dates in the fortress no problem.''


Sounds great. Thanks a lot, Gimp.
Good luck with yer new job. Even if it is evil

[MrGimp]

Whoops, I somehow glossed over the last part.  Yeah, spam messages are annoying.

There would likely be a warning about that occurring if the customer puts in their info...  Right?

Yeah its all in the terms of service and privacy policy.  If they bother to read it.

But were not selling male enhancement pills or anything.  Its for home loan modifications.  So the people have to search loan mods to get to one of our landers, then fill out our form and everything before we can do anything evil.  So theyre willing victims.  Or at least compromising their privacy for the convenience of getting a loan mod online.

[MrGimp]

Damn, the new DF is awesome! 

I built a settlement called Bouldermazes atop a volcano in a broad leaf tropical forest.  I have the volcano magma pipe, a couple magma pools, and a magma sea.  I just struck adamantine.  I have a couple massive cave complexes.  One has a giant cave spider in it, which I sealed off.  Then theres another one that spans 50 someodd z-levels.  Im building the fortress on the shores of an underground ocean glorified mud puddle, 100 z-levels below the surface.  Safe from that accursed sun..

Updates to this story will come soon, I promise!  I will not let these dwarves go gently into that good night!!!

[Ze Spy]

You mean...... Wait , What?

[MrGimp]

I mean I have a separate game going on.  Im cheating on Blockedlance with Bouldermazes.

But its all good.  Theres enough Gimp to go around.

[MrGimp]

Urist shambled down the hall in a depression.  The Duke did not love her anymore than the Philosopher had.  Lord Akigagak was dead, along with most of the military.  At any moment the enemies of dwarvenkind could come steamrolling over that hill, wiping out all that Urist had built.

She tried to keep her mind off the drama by wandering the halls and admiring Khamero's new engravings.  It was a slight change from Urist's style, but not by much.

She stopped by one engraving that caught her eye.  It was an engraving of the Grim Tribe, the badass berserk dwarf Urist had killed so many decades ago.  Uvash had been a good friend on those long marches.  But she had to kill him to protect the adamantine mine.  Urist had no idea why Uvash was holding a sea lamprey.  She chalked it up to Khamero's artistic license.



Urist continued her walk down the halls and saw another one of Khamero's strange quirks.  He liked engraving stupid random items.  Like the Salty Library, an engraving dedicated to the crafting of a masterful dolomite puzzlebox.

Yawn.



Khamero was also quite fond of food.  He carved many an engraving depicting the masterful roasts being put out by the great cooks of Blockedlance.



Try to wrap your head around a pot roast so awesome, that they memorialize its cooking by engraving it into solid stone even thee decades after the roast was eaten and shat out.

Thats one impressive roast.