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[Chaoseed]

How many diorite scepters do they need?  Who would even buy this stuff?  I've been exporting craft junk for five decades now.  I'm sure I've literally flooded the world map with junk from my fortress.  I bet talc crowns outnumber people in Sil Gomath!

Damn, that was the funniest rant I've read in a long time.  A month or two at least.

[gumball135]

Wow, the pyramid is amazing.
Also, good to see Jewelettarette is still doing her duty. I'm surprised that I got a dwoman (heh) so important to the storyline the second I asked. I mean, I expected her to make an annoying mandate or two, then get impaled on spikes. But here she is as the sole baby provider of the fort, challenging the Duke for the mayoral position! Gotta love Blockedlance.

[Ze Spy]

what the fuck , i might have to request another one , DAMNIT

[Plank of Wood]

Ah yes, the Pyramid. Built by tortured bearded souls, cemented together to indestructibility by dwarvern tears and demon piss.

[MrGimp]

Late in autumn of 250, Queen Urist ordered Jewelettarette's newest bouncing baby boy to be elevated to the status of Baron.  He was named Baron von Freeden in an elaborate ceremony held in the temple.  Attendees to the baptismal/coronation would later claim that when the High Priest Kulaka poured the unholy water onto the babies forehead, the head spun round in a full 360 degree spin while the baby laughed maniacally.

This was considered a good omen.



How did the eight year old Airag feel about having his youngest brother elevated in rank beyond him?  Well hopefully he was quite pissed, as that was the Queen's intention!  She even granted the Baron a small plot of land on the outskirts of town.  Now, if the Duke, Queen, and Grand-Duchess die, Baron von Freeden could technically claim the right to rule based on his higher noble rank and larger estate than Airag!

Urist would pit the potential usurpers against each other, and bide her time until she could get pregnant.

[MrGimp]

Ah yes, the Pyramid. Built by tortured bearded souls, cemented together to indestructibility by dwarvern tears and demon piss.

Their tears make the dwarves stronger.  And the demon piss is cleansing.

[Cheddarius]

Airag is filled with impotent rage! His puerile mind seeks to solve his problems with a good drubbing!

[MrGimp]

Spring 251



"The booze stockpiles continue to dwindle, your majesty," warned Reaper the Beardless, Hoardmaster of Blockedlance.

"Well what's the worry?  There's still over 4600 units of booze for 55 dwarves.  How could that not be enough?" asked the Queen.

"Well, your majesty," explained Reaper, rubbing her chin where her beard used to be.  "The dwarves like their booze.  And......"

"Yes?  And?"

"And to be frank, your majesty, the dwarves are worried that another 50 children are gonna pop out of my sister here and drink us all to oblivion!"

"My goodness!" cried Jewelettarette, who was attending court with the infant Baron von Freeden sucking at her left breast.  "Don't blame me for doing my dwarven duty so well.  You're just jealous you dont have your own!  Why dont you just go back to Mogror Harbett and submit to your fate?"

"Yeah come back to me baby!" Mogror cried from the distance.

"Silence!"  Queen Urist pounded on her adamantine throne, calling her court to order.  "Reaper, your reports have been received.  The booze stockpiles will be taken care of for now by our proficient brewer.  When his skills are honed he will provide us all with more than enough booze.  And if your fine sister has another fifty children then we will also have more brewers would we not?  Now go.  You are dismissed!"

"Yes your majesty," said Reaper with a bow.  She gave her sister the evil eye on her way out.

"Now Jewelettarette, I have a question for you....are you pregnant again?"

"Yes your majesty," she nodded with an infant on each arm, and several toddlers crawling about at her feet.

The Queen furrowed her brow, paused, and then smiled.  "You know, one of your sons will probably kill me....but I really do appreciate the whole baby thing!  It's really good to see so many new slaves to Armok!"  There was genuine affection in the Queen's voice.

"Thank you your majesty!" said Jewelettarette.  The two dwarves smiled warm-heartedly at each other.  It was kind of an odd moment, since they might actually end up killing each other one day....being a noble isnt all platinum goblets and fine pewter weapon racks you know.  But that future trouble was years away, and for the time being, they could enjoy each others company.

[Ze Spy]

any plans for the millitary? , or do i have to go on a rampage in the fortress to fill my blood lust?

[MrGimp]

any plans for the millitary? , or do i have to go on a rampage in the fortress to fill my blood lust?

Rampage sounds fine to me.  Ill put it in once I catch the story up to where Im at in the game.

[MrGimp]

251 continued with Jewelettarette giving birth again, as well as this new tax collector making snide comments, ridiculous demands, and generally annoying everybody.



After first insulting the Queen by telling her that her kingdom was nowhere near the size of the Jade Irons, which had grown to almost become an empire, xczxc then went on to demand the Queen order the construction of something in her throne room.  When asked what it was exactly she was demanding, xczxc made some vague generalizations and then marched off, mumbling something about how many nice things were in her throne room back at her old mountainhome.

[MrGimp]

Year 252.  Time marches on as quickly as if the Gods themselves were sleeping through it all.



Look at how many children are running around this fortress!  One fifth of our population is a screaming, puking, pissing child.  Ugh.  If it hadn't been for the fact that these children were being raised as proper Armok worshipers, the Queen would certainly have killed them all.  But she didnt trust the pagan peasants she had slaving for her now, and hoped she could one day replace them with proper blood bathers.

Meanwhile, another momentous occasion has occurred!  Deep in the bowels of the temple death pits, where Kurk Quarcane and the Dungeon Mistress Petbeard make their home, romance has blossomed!



Yes they have fallen in love!  And how could they not, surrounded as they are with the screams of the dead and dying, and the eternal hauntings of tortured souls?  Armok smiles upon this relationship, and hopes they soon get married.  May this union be as bountiful as that between Jewelettarette and Khamero!

[Moose Fisher]

Hooray, more variance for the gene pool!

Moose needs to be more social, for the good of the Blockedlance dwarf!

[Ze Spy]

err , did you really make me go on a rampage?

[MrGimp]

err , did you really make me go on a rampage?

You dont want to earn your place in Dwarven Valhalla?