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[addictgamer]

That's a big family.

[MrGimp]

Spring 249



Its friggin 249 everybody.  And we have now passed 15 million dwarfbucks in wealth.  The booze stockpile is down to 5000 units, however, and trouble looms on the horizon.

The arrival of spring brings us another hammerer and tax collector.  Unfortunately, the pagan hammerer has to be struck down.  But the tax collector is a worshiper of Ber Delerber Atir Shin (Armok) and comes from a dwarven empire far to the north; the land of the Jade Irons.



Her name is xczxc.  It is a strange dialect of dwarvish that these people of the Jade Irons speak.  Her accent is almost unintelligible, and she annoys the established nobility of Blockedlance by questioning their bloodline, and questioning their worthiness for such palatial rooms.  Urist is annoyed with her from the beginning, but it was rare to receive Armok worshiping nobility, so she did not immediately have xczxc put to death.



Instead, Queen Urist spent the year down in her new nook beneath the waterfall, where her and the Duke spent their days frolicking in the mist, dining on platinum tables and golden thrones, basking in the glow of adamantine statues of Urist's human hero Xen.

Still no commitment of marriage and children from the Duke.  The Queen is growing disgusted with men.

Meanwhile...



The other dwarves have put together the new nobles' rooms.  They have lined the side of the future magma moat with clear glass, so that nobles can one day view the awesomeness of magma anytime they wished.  We also added the same magma viewports in the temple chapel, right behind the artifact turtle bone idol of Armok.

Jewelettarette's room is the weird shaped ones at the top middle.  The Baron von Montague and Baroness Aldaris now share the middle rooms.  Then Moose and Reaper the Beardless have the rooms on the right.  The unclaimed daughter of the Grand-Duchess has a room below, along with a couple other nobles.

[MrGimp]

By popular demand, here is an update on Eagle.

Heres the lower part of his cave, the tower cap farm.  He has just cut down all the tower caps and you can see the limonite has all been smelted.



Heres a look at Eagles' skills.  I havent really been focusing on skill progression with him, he just does what needs to be done.  He's not really uber, but hes got a wide range of skills, and can obviously survive all by himself alright.



I left out his social skills from that list because damnit, he's a hermit!

[Huesoo]

Instead of the new hammerer if there is a new Noble male birth I woul like him to be named Baron Von Freeden and him to be intirested in dueling with a sword. Thanks!

[MrGimp]

Instead of the new hammerer if there is a new Noble male birth I woul like him to be named Baron Von Freeden and him to be intirested in dueling with a sword. Thanks!

I suppose...

Although I really wanted a Huesoodos!

[MrGimp]

Well, in autumn of 249 Jewelettarette has ANOTHER kid.  So now theres nine.  She is also voted mayor!  The Duke was outraged that he had lost the office to his sister!

"She will move against us when that child is older!" reminded the Queen.  Her and the Duke were hanging out in the waterfall alone.

"Holy Lord of Blood!  My own nephew is going to murder me!" cried the Duke.

"Calm yourself Travolta!"  The Queen slapped him across the face, bruising it with her artifact Birchen ring carved by Airag.  "What we need is an heir!  It will protect both our positions!"

"Yes..." mumbled the Duke in thought.

"I wear this ring Airag made to remind me of the need for an heir.  I look at it throughout the day.  I need an heir!  It's the reason I had sex with you in that diseased Eberdek's blood!  It's the reason I lock you in this cave and force my way with you now!"

"Yes, your majesty."

"Well why Travolta?  Why haven't you released your spores inside me?!" she cried.  Tears ran down her face.  It was a rare moment for the cold hearted bitch of a Queen.  "It's because I'm so old isn't it?!  It's because I just turned 95 this year isn't it?!  Isn't it?!"  She began sobbing uncontrollably.

The Duke didn't know what to do.  "Uhhh...." he mumbled.  "I uhhh....no....you're not that old....I mean.  Uhhhhh.....you're not old at all babe.  Ninety-five is young.  That's only what....twice my age?  Not that bad at all!"  He put his arm around the Queen and patted her on the back.

She looked up at him with dimple dye mascara running down her wet face.  "Make love to me!"

The Duke wanted to get out of there, but he was trapped.  It was this or death.  Most likely slow death too.  "Sure babe," he said at last. 

He closed his eyes and went to work....

[The Architect]

Ever thought of posting her up with someone her personality profile will accept? She would probably have a lover on the side because the Duke doesn't satisfy. Whatever gets the job done.

[MrGimp]

Spring 250



My gods!  What madness has brought us fifty years into this fortress?

The dwarves spend the year blissfully partying and sacrificing horses to Armok, then bathing in the blood.  The Queen herself arranges the partying at the Adamantine statue.



By summer of 250 Soviet Travolta had wrested control of the mayoralship of Blockedlance back from Jewelettarette! 

We also trade a lot.  We sell virtually the last of our stone crafts to the humans and elves.  I'm glad to be rid of the crafts.  I'm tired of these dwarves and their hoarding habits and obsessive compulsive love affairs with microcline bracelets!  Every single room is filled with junk!  No matter how many cabinets and chests I give them, they fill them up, and then get more stuff.  Many dwarves have several rooms, since the population is about a fifth of what this fort can hold.  And yet they still fill up the extra rooms with junk!

It's because of these foul dwarves, that Blockedlance is a big burnt out charred pile of cursed demonic junk!

How many diorite scepters do they need?  Who would even buy this stuff?  I've been exporting craft junk for five decades now.  I'm sure I've literally flooded the world map with junk from my fortress.  I bet talc crowns outnumber people in Sil Gomath!

[MrGimp]

Ever thought of posting her up with someone her personality profile will accept? She would probably have a lover on the side because the Duke doesn't satisfy. Whatever gets the job done.

But then the heir wont be legitimately noble!  The Queen is paranoid because she isn't a legitimate monarch.  Having stolen her way to the crown, she needs to provide her heirs with some genuine inbred noble blood, otherwise her dynasty is inevitably doomed.

[Moose Fisher]

Ever thought of posting her up with someone her personality profile will accept? She would probably have a lover on the side because the Duke doesn't satisfy. Whatever gets the job done.

But then the heir wont be legitimately noble!  The Queen is paranoid because she isn't a legitimate monarch.  Having stolen her way to the crown, she needs to provide her heirs with some genuine inbred noble blood, otherwise her dynasty is inevitably doomed.

She's doomed if she doesn't get an heir.  Start the search!

Besides, her force of will is enough to make her a legitimate ruler, and Armok himself is backing her.  No one can question a god.

[The Architect]

Hmph. Well, I thought this started with her thinking she didn't need such trivial things. I guess her point of view changed quite a bit.

[MrGimp]

Hmph. Well, I thought this started with her thinking she didn't need such trivial things. I guess her point of view changed quite a bit.

Her earlier protestations of 'worker-queen' and 'queen of the people' were just ploys to make the masses accept her rule.  She only hated nobles back then because they outranked her.  After nearly five decades in power, she identifies with the nobility.  At least when they are useful to her.

It was standard practice throughout the medieval era that if you managed to obtain a crown, you married into the old nobility and reassured them that they still had a seat at the table.  If you didnt do that, your nobles would plot to remove you.  The whole plot of Blockedlance has been partly based on a medieval era usurpation of power, and so I'm stubbornly trying to get her pregnant with the Duke.

Hell if Airag or any of his brothers want to bang the Queen when they are older, they are welcome to it!

[MrGimp]

Ever thought of posting her up with someone her personality profile will accept? She would probably have a lover on the side because the Duke doesn't satisfy. Whatever gets the job done.

But then the heir wont be legitimately noble!  The Queen is paranoid because she isn't a legitimate monarch.  Having stolen her way to the crown, she needs to provide her heirs with some genuine inbred noble blood, otherwise her dynasty is inevitably doomed.

She's doomed if she doesn't get an heir.  Start the search!

Besides, her force of will is enough to make her a legitimate ruler, and Armok himself is backing her.  No one can question a god.

This is true....but Im a stubborn bastard. 

It looks like Toady might not get the new version out for a month or two.  So I have time to try the Queen and the Duke a little longer.  She still hasnt reached legendary social skills, and I think when she does she might get married to the Duke.

[The Architect]

It was also very common practice to bring in an illegitimate heir, concubine, or stud if one of the couple was impotent. Depending on culture, this might be done in secret or openly.

[MrGimp]

It was also very common practice to bring in an illegitimate heir, concubine, or stud if one of the couple was impotent. Depending on culture, this might be done in secret or openly.

Good point....but hard to achieve in DF. 

Is it possible that because she has the 'doesnt care about anything anymore' line in her profile that she wont fall in love with ANYONE?