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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432207 times)

Christes

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #855 on: July 12, 2009, 02:26:56 pm »

Nah, don't do trapspam.  Does Armok get access to dwarves killed in battle?
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #856 on: July 12, 2009, 02:47:28 pm »

No trap spam.  Except maybe big elaborate mechanical dwarfy traps. 

Armok has access to all dwarves who die on the sanctified soil of Blockedlance, but not everyone goes to a Hell.  Armok eats most souls straight away like a ravenous beast.  I cant have everyone going to a Hell cuz that would be literally hundreds of sideplots...unless I just mention what hell they wind up in and then move on.

Also, sorry Fil.  I really thought it was your chance to shine!  In most of my games legendary miners are the best last ditch conscripts available.  But the elf had a bow and some arrows.  That was the deciding factor.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #857 on: July 12, 2009, 03:04:42 pm »

In the Summer, the humans come to trade.  We welcome them with open arms, only to find that these tall bastards have been followed by goblins all the way here!

The dwarves are moblized to the east.  The Human Guard can take care of the temple.  From the north, more goblins attack and are defended against by our longest lived forum dwarf; LegoLord.  Lord Lego and his two squadmates are the last of our marksdwarves.  These have been freed from the dungeon to fight our wars.  It doesnt go too well for Lord Lego this time...

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1529-thedeathoflego

But as he and one of the other marksdwarves die, MadMonkey, the Queen's personal bodyguard, charges out into the fray with his demon sword.  In his rage he exacts vengeance upon the goblins.

Huzzah!!!

So things calm down a bit and the bodies are burried.  I notice that the Human Caravan is buggered up just like Dunem is.  Weve traded and its now autumn.  They wont leave.  Theyre at the depot, but theyre not trading.  Theyre just stuck.  I notice that one of the humans is talking to Dunem Trickscars...



You learn something new everyday.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #858 on: July 12, 2009, 03:24:11 pm »

... with a name like 'Trickscars' I'm not suprised.

Christes

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #859 on: July 12, 2009, 04:00:11 pm »

Whoops

All seasoned DF players should know to check gender before posting about someone :P
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #860 on: July 12, 2009, 04:36:46 pm »

Whoops

All seasoned DF players should know to check gender before posting about someone :P

But if I went around checking all that kind of stuff then you and Tradan would never have ended up together!  And then you wouldnt be floating in endless emptiness tortured by Armok for ten thousand years! 

You see, it's better if you don't check.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #861 on: July 12, 2009, 04:38:24 pm »

Blind chance is always better than plans

Christes

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #862 on: July 12, 2009, 05:09:11 pm »

Whoops

All seasoned DF players should know to check gender before posting about someone :P

But if I went around checking all that kind of stuff then you and Tradan would never have ended up together!  And then you wouldnt be floating in endless emptiness tortured by Armok for ten thousand years! 

You see, it's better if you don't check.

Check gender, not relationship status.  It's just because all of the names are gender neutral.  ::)

In the Halltraded succession game, Maggarg picked the dwarf that happened to be Christes's lover as well.  Good times.

Anyway, are you going to edit the previous post to reflect this new revelation, or are you just going to roll with it somehow?  It's not like it would fuck up this community story any more (and I mean that in a good way :D)
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #863 on: July 12, 2009, 05:45:07 pm »

I normally check gender, but with Dunem I was going off memory.  I think there is one or two forum dwarves who's gender in the story is different from their gender in game.  It'd be funny if they ever get pregnant!  Ill try to get DC working eventually and fix their genders.

As for Dunem, Im just gonna roll with it.  All I said was that Dunem waved his/her genitals around.  Who knows?  Maybe she just has really long flappy labia?   :P
« Last Edit: July 12, 2009, 11:54:00 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #864 on: July 12, 2009, 07:41:22 pm »

Urist had the two living dwarves with Masonry skill - Montague and Aldaris - begin work on two gigantic towers situated directly in front of the temple.  When asked what they were to be, the Queen didnt really have an answer.  She muttered something about obelisks, then residences....then there was some mention of trapping noble couples in there to breed....

Bah!  It didnt matter!  Just start building!  These things take so damn long...we'll have plenty of time to decide what they are as they go up!

The dwarves ran off to start stacking diorite into the sky.

As they did so, Urist planned another monument with Mogror's help.

"It will be huge!  It will be massive!  It will dwarf the temple!" shouted Urist with a crazy gleam in her eye.  "Wait....did I just say dwarf the temple?  Uhh...no matter.  We shall build what no dwarf has built in Sil Gomath in eons!  A structure of such dwarfiness that all shall tremble in it's presence!"

"You dont mean..." said Mogror.

"Yes!  We're building a pyramid!"
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #865 on: July 12, 2009, 07:57:45 pm »

Urist's megalomaniacal construction scheming is cut short, however, when scouts spot strange creatures on the edge of the fortress' lands...



They had rams horns on their heads, bodies of men but red and scarred, and furry goat legs that bent the wrong way and ended in hoofs.  They also had short stubby little goat tails.  They were larger than three dwarves in height.  Their bodies rippled with muscle and sinew.

A panic ran throughout the fortress.  More demons!!!

Lord Jazz and Lord Dullard's squad rush to the defence of the fortress.  The fighting is exhausting.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1530-goatdemons



It takes a great deal just to bloody the horrific goat beasts.  One is eventually brought down by Dullard and his men.  Now the dwarves have a numerical advantage and they press their attack.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1531-goatdemons2

(I really like how in that second video Jazz takes on two demons by himself.  Dwarfy!)

The fighting is horrendous.  It lasted probably a week in dwarf time.  THAT was some combat right there!  At the end of it, the goat demons are dead, and not one dwarf has been laid low!



(The 'F's should be 'G's.  F it.)
« Last Edit: July 12, 2009, 09:46:52 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #866 on: July 12, 2009, 09:08:24 pm »

Who the dwarf? Jazz the dwarf. Hell yes.
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #867 on: July 12, 2009, 11:51:11 pm »

Yeah Im gonna tweak those demons.  Their defense needs to come down a bit, and their attack needs to double or triple.  They'll still be weaker than the Fire Demons that Armok sent earlier, but they'll be a good constant threat that will come in decent numbers.

Im gonna try and move away from elf and goblin attacks.  They clutter the map with INSANE amounts of junk after 30+ years.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Samus1111111

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #868 on: July 26, 2009, 08:18:00 am »

awesome story :D  can't wait to see what happens with the pyramid. If possible, could I get a dwarf (named samus)? Preferably a military dwarf, but any kind will do. Thanks in advance :)
« Last Edit: July 26, 2009, 08:19:44 am by Samus1111111 »
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #869 on: July 27, 2009, 10:27:48 pm »

Eberdek's thinly disguised bump

Man, things were really great today! I got to eat that fat bitch Urist's food! Oops! I didn't mean to write that. I loathe Queen Urist and swore my loyalty to her death, I mean, I love Queen Urist and swore my loyalty to my death!

My goodness, what's wrong with me? I'm not going insane, am I?

The food gave me a bit of a stomach ache. I was doubled over for a few hours, and I was sweating a lot and people told me that I looked pale in the face, and my hands turned blue for a little bit, but I got over it. Somebody said the food was poisoned, but it can't be, because all of Queen Urist's food makes me feel like that: sick to my stomach that that evil whore isn't dying because I'm eating her poison.

Boy, I am in quite a mood today for no apparent reason.

* * *

So, uh, MrGimp. Anything? It's been a while since your last update.
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I understood nothing, contributed nothing, but still got to win, so good game everybody else.
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