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[Jackrabbit]

Grand Viziers are evil. Narrative causality. This prince needs to read more Discworld.

Truth be told, I don't know where to even START. So all my Pratchet lore comes from the tvtropes pages about the series. And that's in RL.

I started at the beginning but you don't need too, really. You just need to start at the start of an arc. I recommend 'Guards, Guards!' because it introduces the most loved characters in the series, the night watch. Also, it's really really funny. It's really impressive how he can write fantasy all the time and still change genres. The night watch books are mostly crime mysteries.

[Eagle]

Im slowly but surely collecting the Discworld novels, and ive read most of them. Prachett is awesome. 

[MrGimp]

When was the last mention of Quarcane or whatever the hell I called him?

Because I forgot.

You've been into the rat weed again havent you?  You just got mentioned!  lol

You are Urists entertainment while she eats.  You play her your grunge music on a rose quartz harp.

How is Petbeard?

has he gotten all the kittens out of his beard yet?

Petbeard just got mentioned, too!  You took over the Hammerer's execution functions.  You run the lever control room that controls all the traps and flooding gizmos.  At least until we get another Armok worshipping Hammerer.  That might be a while though.

[MrGimp]

Grand Viziers are evil. Narrative causality.

Totally.  I mean, only evil people would even WANT to be the Grand Vizier, you know?  And it's a useful plot device.  He brought that caricature of himself upon himself.

[MrGimp]

TRAGEDY!!!  (for Mogror)

Urist had wonderful news, and one of the first people she wanted to tell it to was of course Mogror Harbett, her kindred spirit in affairs of demon worship and Machiavellian power addiction.  Strangely, he was nowhere to be found.  For days, a search went throughout the temple and fortress underground.  His last known position was eventually tracked down, his job had been to build a floodgate.  Well lo and behold, he was found still there, trapped in the narrow flood tunnels.  He was starving and dehydrated.  When the floodgate was torn down Mogror shoved everyone out of the way and made a bee line for the beer.

Even booze could not calm his trauma, however...



As the rebel champions began dropping liking flies, this should have been a happy moment.  But Mogror cursed and spat at everyone for leaving him in there for nearly a season.  Urist tried to look the other way when he tantrumed repeatedly...but she was afraid she would soon be compelled to beat him down in the name of dwarven justice.


When he finally calmed down, she told him of the momentous event that had just occured.  Some random dwarf had gone crazy...



Out of his industriousness and labor, the most valuable object in all of Sil Gomath lay before the Queen's eyes.  It was an adamantine table worth nearly one million copper coins!  It had an image of itself on it (of course) and it also had an image of the old dwarven king, being coronated back in 162, before the fall of Letterclose, back during the golden age of the Ageless Matched Lashes.



She immediately dubbed the craftsdwarf 'Nightwing', an honorary dwarven title of awesomeness.  The table was of course placed in Urist's dining room.  The old platinum table was thrown to the peasants like the discarded worthless fecal matter that it had become.

[MrGimp]

Urist ordered a month of feasts (for herself) to commence to commemorate the crafting of the great table.  Unfortunately for Eberdek, the Queen was on a sugar kick, and he was becoming sicker and sicker the more he had to eat her blasted sugar roasts!



Eberdek was about to snap.  He couldnt bring himself to even LOOK at one more coagulated caramalized crystalized chunk of alcoholic sugar.  He became sick and started having horrible dreams, dreams of freedom from being Urists slave, freedom from her poisonous food......

What was he thinking?  He was loyal to his Queen.  She provided him with a greater quality of life than she provided most of the dwarves here.  He was crazy to think such hateful thoughts.  Still....something inside him seethed with rage...

[ousire]

pure alcoholic sugar? dwarfy!

[Creamcorn]

Oh lawd, someone should kill the cook with one of his suger roasts.

[Tradanbattlan]

Only a dwarf can mince wine

[MrGimp]

Lord Akigagak lead his men to the walls of the fortress.  They were starving and dehydrated.  They pleaded with the loyalist watchmen to let them in. 



Between the four dwarves there are over 300 kills.  They are heroes.  And yet they are traitors. 

Okay everyone, vote now, what do we do with Akigagak?  Let him starve?  Let him live?

[Zulaf]

You should make a gladiator city below the fighting pit, and they are subject to the whims of the queen..... more so then the loyalists I mean. They do not have any contact with the loyalists, And with a pull of the switch half of em could be imapiled by spikes which are on every other square. They of course have to dig the whole thing them selves if they want to live in BlockedLance. The only weapons are the ones in the gladiator pit.


Oh ya the vote.... let them in...

[Labs]

Zulaf, I love that idea.

[Byakugan01]

I think it would be interesting to have them join/occupy Eagle in his cave, from all appearances dead to the queen...but in fact alive, and waiting. Maybe one of them could go to get "help", and rejoin the fight another day? Maybe even use the caves and some labor (if they can) to tunnel down UNDERNEATH the temple and burst through the floor for one final blaze of glory ("Reap the seeds of your betrayal of the dwarven race!")? They'll still die, of course, but those actions should make the queen even MORE paranoid.

Edit: And I'm still curious to know what happened to the diplomat

[Eagle]

Nooooooo!!! Eagle must stay alone! He must survive!

Actually that'd be pretty cool. But Urist still does have Armok on her side, and Eagle doesnt really have anything/anyone to back him up.

[Iituem]

I'm sorry, I completely have to side with the 'dark, forbidden grotto of gladiators'.  Completely isolated from the main fortress with their own flooded farm room, all non-loyalists are cast into the pit and forced to survive down there on pain of death if they show up on the surface.

Periodically, they should be allowed to come into the arena to try and fight for their freedom.

Any survivors can then be impaled as they try and walk through a 'victory hallway' out of there.  ¬.¬