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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432247 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #75 on: February 25, 2009, 07:59:53 pm »

The summer of 214.



Urist was definitely more paranoid after her two month long isolation, especially towards the Duke, the Mayor and the Clerk.  Often, they dared question her orders.  Like the time she told them to clear cut the entire woodland around Rifotkubuk.

'Your majesty," the mayor interjected, "wont this course of action anger the elves?"

"Where have you been you twit?  This is Blockedlance!"  Urist slammed her mug down hard on the table, spilling some sunshine.  "Now go carry out my orders and cut those damn trees down!  This isnt some forest retreat!"



One day Urist was walking around the fortress when she stumbled over something.  It was a dead body.



"Bloody hell!  Damnit where is that Clerk???"  Urist looked about, and found the lazy dwarf not far away, in the dining hall, stuffing his fat face with sunshine roasts.  "Damnit dwarf!  You're leaving dead peasants lying around!  What is wrong with you?  I dont care about them any more than you do but I worked hard to get the rotting flesh stench out of here, the LEAST you could do is clean up the dead peasants!"

"Um...yes your majesty...sorry your majesty," was the pathetic reply.

"I honestly dont know why I keep you and that mayor alive..." Urist mumbled under her breath as she walked away.



In other news, the statue garden is being carved out, but there are reptilian squatters swimming in my river. 



Isnt it beautiful?  Now the royal bedroom has officially been baptised in blood, the proper dwarven way.  It is most pleasing to Armok.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 07:51:52 pm by MrGimp »
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #76 on: February 26, 2009, 03:05:07 am »

Boy, its been a while.

Haha yeah a couple months, but I figured, what the hell?  I have a bunch of screenshots and Ive played ahead.  Some cool stuff gets built and I got another video. 

Maybe I could make it more interactive?  I could give people dwarves.  But I gotta catch the story up to the present day to do that.  Got a couple years to go.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #77 on: February 26, 2009, 06:47:59 pm »

Autumn 214





Some stupid kid made an artifact birchen earring, as if this was some kind of elf fortress.  Urist took it anyways, as she liked to hoard anything of value or rarity, and an artifact wooden earring made by a dwarven kid is pretty rare.  Right?

Anyways, here is the entrace to Blockedlance as of Autumn 214.

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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #78 on: February 26, 2009, 06:54:16 pm »

Winter of 214



Relations between the Duke and Urist remained strained.  They rarely spoke, each one maneuvering behind the scenes to get a political advantage over the other.  Urist was so isolated socially that she was becoming afraid that the Duke might be able to incite a revolution among the peasants and riff raff.  The fortress was getting too large for Urist to easily control, and her normal instruments of control, the Mayor and Clerk, were most likely aligned with the Duke, at least in Urist's mind.

There was no room for them.  But Urist would have to wait to make her move.



In the meantime, work on the statue garden continued.  Soon the masses would have a new diversion.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #79 on: February 26, 2009, 07:02:32 pm »

Spring of 215



The fortress of Rifotkubuk had finally become the hub of all dwarven activity, at least as far as the dwarves of the Ageless Matched Lashes were concerned. 



The last of the refugees of the original fortress of Letterclose arrived.

Many began to wonder if the population of Blockedlance had not grown larger than could comfortably live in the corridors of the great fortress.  But there were no major morale problems, except among the poor and unemployed....and this was all due to the Dukes insistance that rent be charged for living space. 

Urist hated that damn Duke and his damn Tax Collector.  Something would need to be done about both of them.



In other news, the one armed heroine Fikkod Inodzoz suffers below.  Some idiot placed her immobile body in the future barracks of the Royal Guard.  Sigh...it seems sad to let poor Fikkod's tale end this way.

Oh well.
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Org

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #80 on: February 26, 2009, 07:07:07 pm »

Where are the sieges?
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #81 on: February 26, 2009, 07:07:57 pm »

Summer of 215



We are now completely and totally full up here at Blockedlance.  The hallways are starting to smell like sweaty dwarven foot stink.



Oh yeah.  Somebody drowned.  Apparently we didnt have some kind of assinine material to make some worthless trinket out of, and so, logically, the dwarf threw himself in our drinking water.  We cannot get to him.  We'll just have to drink the diseased cave water.



In other news, Queen Urist has ordered the capture of all reptilian scumbags from the lower depths of the river.  What she plans to do with them is a subject of heated debate among the citizens of Blockedlance.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #82 on: February 26, 2009, 07:11:38 pm »

Where are the sieges?

I dont know.  I keep killing the bastard elves and goblins.  I dont get it.

Anyone know how I could go about modding in aggression?

If not, its alright.  The fort will still be brought down by...internal pressures.
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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #83 on: February 26, 2009, 07:14:17 pm »

Sorry, off topic, but how do I make a drawbridge, and how do I pull it up so invaders cant get in?
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LegoLord

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #84 on: February 26, 2009, 08:41:25 pm »

You can try removing their speech, or seizing their goods and letting them go.  It might work, but I normally don't have to worry about that sort of thing.
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And this is how tinned food was invented.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #85 on: February 27, 2009, 12:01:48 am »

You can try removing their speech, or seizing their goods and letting them go.  It might work, but I normally don't have to worry about that sort of thing.

Does removing speech cause them to be automatically hostile?  That would be awesome.  Ill do it if it doesnt cause any bugs.  Although I was also toying with the idea of just adding lizardmen as random enemies that will attack my fort.  I was thinking of giving them swords and shit.

But dont worry...the blood will flow.  Whether by a goblin sword, an elf arrow, a human spear or dwarven insanity...my god, the blood will flow.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #86 on: February 27, 2009, 02:26:23 pm »

Urist and the wise philosopher Asmel sat talking by the waterfall.  She was trying to befriend the aloof intellectual, so that she could fulfill her role as Queen and produce little Urist-lings.  The conversation was marked with awkward silences.  Urist struggled to think of something to say.

"So..." said the Queen.

"Yeah?"

"Uhhhh....I finished the new sacrificial chamber....errr....the new trade depot today"



"Oh yeah?" asked Asmel, feigning interest. 

"Yeah....some dwarves came, they got their wagons stuck in there and couldnt turn em around.  The idiots.  I had to go down there and get them out...some of them were crying!"

"Hahaha!  Yeah I hate idiots."

"Oh guess what?"  Urist waited for the wise dwarf to guess, but he just gave her a blank stare.  She continued anyways, with a big smile on her face.  "Our giant eagle breeding program is working perfectly!"



"Uh, what do we need giant eagles for your majesty?"  Asmel asked skeptically.

"Well...you know...theyre big giant eagles.  You know?"

"Yeah but do they really like living in a cave?"

"Hmmm...I never thought about that.  I was just thinking of putting em in a zoo or something."

"Ahhh...I see...well in that case its educational, and I like it."  The philosopher smiled.

"Speaking of creatures not belonging in caves...this Duke guy thinks he would like a window in his room."



"What?  Whats he going to look out the window at?  Thats so human!" laughed Asmel.

"Yeah the thing that bothers me the most is that this guy is breeding."



"Yes your majesty you are right.  I think his son is a threat," said the wise dwarf.  He looked Urist in the eye and aimed right for her paranoia, "You know, I wouldnt be surprised if he tries to one day make his son King."

Egads!  Urist's face went pale.  Asmel was right.  Urist had been postponing the inevitable until she was prepared...but she knew now she could make her move.  Why?

Because the giant gladitorial deathmatch arena had FINALLY been completed.

« Last Edit: February 27, 2009, 04:55:41 pm by MrGimp »
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #87 on: February 27, 2009, 03:53:14 pm »

Spring of 216.  Blockedlance had produced goods worth roughly three and a quarter million copper coins.  Of course...Urist was not stupid enough to actually give her people coins.  No no no...dwarven credit derivatives would suffice.  To put this in perspective, dwarves had advanced credit markets 1800 years before us, and they didnt need multi-trillion dollar bailouts either.

Noodle that one for a while.



Queen Urist summoned the Clerk and the Mayor to her throne room.

"Ah yes, my old friends Mafol and Morul," said Urist.  There was an awkward pause.  "Whats it been, eleven years since we all met?  What great memories we have."

"Yes, your majesty," smiled the Mayor.

"Lets get down to business.  I say this only because I trust you.  The Duke is plotting against me!"

"WHAT?"

"Dont worry your majesty we are loyal!"

"Yes yes, I know you two are...but the tax collector...he is the tool the Duke has used to evict peasants, steal their money, and seize their property.  It is the most foul abuse of the law, and I must punish this thieving tax collector now."  Urist eyed them both.  "I would like you to escort the tax collector to the hammerer's pit.  I want both of you to go.  Make sure he doesnt get away."

"Yes your majesty!"  Mafol eyed Morul and cracked a smile, as if they had gotten away with something.

"Oh, and while your down there could you check the food stores...and make sure those bears are properly chained up."

"Yes your majesty, we will do as you will," said the Mayor.  The two dwarves bowed and then giggled and whispered to each other on the way out.

Urist just smiled coldly.



When the three traitors entered the pit, the doors were sealed.  The Clerk, Mayor, Tax Collector and Hammerer would all be one big happy family from now on.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2009, 03:54:57 pm by MrGimp »
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LegoLord

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #88 on: February 27, 2009, 06:07:57 pm »

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=29157.0
That should sum up what you need to know to make hostilities rise.
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #89 on: February 27, 2009, 07:08:35 pm »

I must say, this is a fun read.

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