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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432235 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #420 on: April 30, 2009, 10:02:31 pm »

We are attacked by evil goblins.  Urist sends the newly titled Lord Dullard out to prove his mettle.  He proved to be quite skilled in matters of war, taunting and enraging the goblins as he hacked at them as if in a trance.



We won the battle that day, but at its end Bomrek Keskalbesmar was stricken by melancholy!  Oh the sadness, darkness, and emptiness of it all!  Bomrek kept singing sad songs on her Birchen guitar, songs like this one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJeVXIrzLsY

So who is Bomrek Keskalbesmar?  She is Lord Legos lover!



Her melancholy did not last long however.  She flung herself into the cave river to escape the madness....errrr....the sadness.





Lord Lego is beside himself with grief.  Meanwhile our river is filling up with dwarf bones and other useless junk.

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #421 on: April 30, 2009, 10:42:57 pm »

Besider himself, beside his lover, then beside me.
IT'S THE CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE
IT'S DROWNED IN MAGMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Aldaris

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #422 on: May 01, 2009, 05:48:02 am »

Alwaays look on the bright side of death.
*Whistle*
A-djust before you draw your terminal breath.
*Whistle*


That sounds fitting somehow.
And so does everything after that, actually.


'You'll see it's all a show, keep on laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you..'

Creepily well.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2009, 05:52:01 am by Aldaris »
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
^Totally not out of context, promise.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #423 on: May 01, 2009, 05:51:24 am »

very much so
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #424 on: May 01, 2009, 12:52:31 pm »

Guy Montag - Hey you wanted to be Captain of the Guard after Urist was done slaughtering dwarves but I dunno....I kinda like having the Queen personally butcher criminals to death with her bare hands.  Its dwarfy! 

I could try to find an Armok worshipping axe lord (dont hold your breath) and name him Lord Montague or something?  If I ever do get a captain of the guard your guy will be on top of the list (unless hes dead by then).
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #425 on: May 01, 2009, 12:52:58 pm »

Im actually getting something of a tantrum spiral...awwww Blockedlance's first second big tantrum spiral!  Im so proud!  I keep getting dwarves jumping off ledges, or into the river.  I also have a lot of dwarves bashing up bridges and doors...unfortunately, right after breaking something and getting sentenced to a beating from Queen Urist, the dwarves tend to kill themselves rather than face her.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2009, 12:54:43 pm by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #426 on: May 01, 2009, 02:32:10 pm »

I like the smell of Miasma in the morning...
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #427 on: May 01, 2009, 04:32:04 pm »

I like the smell of Miasma in the morning...

Smells like... Insanity
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #428 on: May 01, 2009, 08:23:53 pm »



Well, a marksdwarf that had bashed up a bunch of things and was about to be beat down by the Queen decided instead to die by their own hand, like a warrior. 

The marksdwarf threw himself from the bridge.  Oh well.  One less mouth to feed.

Why do these dwarves insist on dying in horrible fashions?  I would just drink myself to death.  Ive almost done it accidentally before, Im sure I could do it if I tried....especially if I was a dwarf.  Why do they insist on drowning?  Thats a horrible death! 

I like the guys that try to jump...they provide me with the most entertaining deaths!  Like my buddy Shorast here!



The horrible pressures of life at Blockedlance (and they ARE horrible) got the best of this guy.  So to escape the misery of life in the last outpost of your nation, on the edge of goblin territory, ruled over by a genocidal satan worshipping Queen, this guy Shorast jumps down the stairway.  The only problem is that the stairway only provides a 2 z-level fall.  Sure it cripples you, but you got to drag your mangled body back up two levels to go for the killer blow.



See, you can see the trail of blood going up the ramp.  Its rare to see it as its happening, Ive lucked out a couple times and its pretty funny.  This guy is a trooper.

Although...he is pretty dumb...there is afterall a 10 z-level tower in the southeast of our fortress with a hole in the fortifications JUST FOR SUICIDES!  No ones ever used it.  Jerks.  You try to provide for em, and look at the thanks you get! 

You can see the Duchess searching his corpse for any silk.



Anyways, Urist beat down another criminal who was too slow in killing themselves.  She brought along the Human Guild Representative this time too, so she could show him what happens to people who dont buy our useless junk.



I think he understood the message.  He vomitted after witnessing the mangled dwarf die as it attempted to drag itself to a bed.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #429 on: May 01, 2009, 08:35:27 pm »

I like the smell of Miasma in the morning...

Smells like... Insanity

There is definitely some of that in the air...



You know whats even MORE insane?  After the Elder Erib was dead and in the ground, here is Atis Athelkud with a damn BABY!!!  Now THAT is some powerful man seed!



I mean...how can you have a baby with a dead guy?  Does she get pregnant from zombie spores released from the corpse?  Is she some kind of insectoid egglaying queen with his DNA still stored in her thorax???  I mean whats the deal? 

Now what am I gonna do with the Erib tomb?  Argh!  The chick has an odd number of babies!!!

At least there is ONE house of Erib worshippers I have destroyed!  I have been picking this family off for a while.  A bunch of them were locked deep in a cave with their mother a while back.  This guy is the last survivor of this second House of Erib.  He was born here at Blockedlance and he has just come of age.

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #430 on: May 01, 2009, 10:14:09 pm »

Lock him inside a very small room, with everything he needs to survive for eons.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #431 on: May 01, 2009, 10:21:38 pm »

Lock him inside a one tile large room, with nothing he would need to survive for eons.
Fixed for accuracy

Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #432 on: May 02, 2009, 12:48:34 am »

I'd rather he spends the rest of his life in horrific boredom then dead
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ousire

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #433 on: May 02, 2009, 12:53:59 am »

lock em in a room with lotsa food, but no beer. watch him slowly grind into oblivion as he keeps slowing down more and more
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Dwarven Pol Pot (now with more Armok)
« Reply #434 on: May 02, 2009, 05:13:29 am »

Let Mogror at him.
spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps spiketraps
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