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[MrGimp]

Truly, this is the ideal place for a 1000 year old genocidal engineer.

You aint seen nothin yet!   

[MrGimp]

Long time listener, first time caller here.

 How about making some sort of a race track, where you connect retractable spikes to all the other tracks with a lever to them? Could make extermination more fun.

haha  yeah I need to do something...I keep getting migrants even after so many dead.  I'm pretty sure more dwarves lie under Blockedlance than live above and within it.  Yet still they flock here to die, carrying their Erib and Nunur idols as they walk right past the massive Temple to Ber Steelerthen.

I'm wondering if I should test the water capacity of the peasant quarters.  For science of course.

[Jackrabbit]

Of course.

[MrGimp]

Check this out....this is how worthless my dwarves are...



Okay....they keep making stupid pointless craft artifacts instead of weapons and armor.  The above artifact was made by a kid.  At least its made from goblin bone and has a picture of the Queen's adamantine mug on it, but still.  Its pathetic.  Even more pathetic than this was the artifact dolomite bracelet studded with bands of dolomite.  It was worth about 1400 bucks. 

The ONE time I had someone cool go insane, the armorer goes down to the forge and grabs some adamantine, some steel, and some gems.  I thought, HELL YEAH!!!  But then he needed shell, and alas, there was no shell.  So he threw himself into the river after that and we lost our armorer.  Everyone dies because theres no shell.



Or at least...there was no shell.  I finally remembered to ask the humans to bring some turtles.  For some reason none ever spawn at Blockedlance anymore, and since the dwarf liason died in the demon pits back in 203, the humans are the one chance a year I get to order anything. 



This is my longest fortress ever.  Ive never seen anything die of old age, though I had heard that it indeed happens.

Now I ponder my own mortality as I stare out upon the bloodsoaked fields of Blockedlance.

[MrGimp]

In winter of 224 we got some migrants.  One of them was an engraver.  Urist handed him the engraving duties since she was tired of carving the same old shit.  Hopefully a second engraver would add more variety.



While engravings were being etched into the Farmer's Guild, the Miner/Mason everyone was calling 'Myth' was made the Guildmaster of the Freemason's Guild.  The Freemason's were a tool the Queen hoped would cement her power.  The Farmer's Guild was already getting overrun by the House of Erib and their cronies.  The Freemason's would be the Queen's secret society of loyal dwarves, ready and waiting to do her bidding.



The dead Duke's only son has now come of age.  Queen Urist had been watching the boy since he was little, and making sure he received a proper education.  The Duke's heir had actually proven to be quite maleable. 

With the awkwardness and lackluster chemistry apparrent in the Queen's attempt to seduce the Philosopher, Urist considered taking the Duke's heir and breeding a line of legitimately noble dwarves.  Then no one could question her Queenship, nor could they question the legitmacy of her successors. 

Yes...the Queen could use Mafol Sabretwilights to plant the seeds of a great Uristian Dynasty!!!

[Jackrabbit]

ew u said seed.

Seriously though, its a good plan, but how would you get them to hook up?

[MrGimp]

ew u said seed.

Seriously though, its a good plan, but how would you get them to hook up?

Its easy really, so long as you understand the dynamics of dwarven pair bonding.  I'm going to lock them in a room together for a couple years.

[Jackrabbit]

ew u said seed.

Seriously though, its a good plan, but how would you get them to hook p?

Its easy really, so long as you understand the dynamics of dwarven pair bonding.  I'm going to lock them in a room together for a couple years.

No, that's dwarven bondage.

I haven't praised you for a while.

awesome ☼Thread☼ is awesome. ☼thread☼.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

That or we make the Dwarven Immortality Engine.

[mythmonster2]

Head of Freemason's Guild? I will not let you down, my queen!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

It requires a golden pyramid.
With EYES.

[MrGimp]

Spring of 225.  Well, the old old trader Thob Whipcolor had taken his nice fancy purple flashing title and changed it to High Priest.  Then the new old trader Shem Throbog became legendary and got a purple flashy title too....and so she was made the High Priestess.  Now I made the Ducal Heir the trader so he can become purply flashy too.

Oh...and there are far too many dwarves at Blockedlance yet again...although its nice that less of them are children and I have more hands to haul things.



The elves and goblins left us alone pretty much the entire year.  They are cowards.  I took the time to begin the carving out of the monstrous Valhalla Cave.  I also began moving the bones out of the coffins in the peasant catacombs and into their proper slots in the Valhalla Cave.

Just a reminder, Akigagak and Christes are not dead, their names are just in the pic to show thats their tomb.  The Valhalla Cave will be much bigger than this one day.  There will be space for all forum dead, as well as any computer dwarves that are worth remembering.



Someone made another useless artifact.  This time its a dolomite statue.  And it has a picture of Olngo Fetidprofane the goblin after the attack in 176 where Letterclose was destroyed and the old King killed and mutilated.  Queen Cog became leader of the exiles, and so in the pictures on the statue, we see Queen Cog running off into the Prickle Berry bushes as Olngo carves up the old kings body in front of a bunch of his family and friends.

(Actually...the goblin Olngo is from Blockedlance, not Letterclose, Im just pretending because it would have been REALLY cool if they had engraved THIS.  Olon was the King before Cog became queen.  Everything fits on this artifact except for the goblin being from 224.  So lets pretend hes from 176).



So I have that new engraver right?  Well he engraves pretty much the same shit as Urist.  The only new one I saw was this one.  Blockedlance was destroyed by demons in autumn of 203.  Apparently, during the winter when the game was running in world history mode, a dwarf by the name of Kubuk Abbeypulled fled TO this place as a place of refuge.  I know not what happened to him, but since there were spirits of fire everywhere, and since he wasnt here when Urist's squad arrive, I can only assume he was a pile of burnt dwarf bones by Spring of 204.

[MrGimp]

Mogror tossed about in his sleep.  There was sweat on his forehead.  "No....no!" he mumbled in his dream induced stupor.  "No!  Not me....you'll never get me!!!"  He thrashed wildly and then sat up, his eyes wide open.  He was breathing heavily.  "Penguins!!!"  he shouted.

But he was safe.  He was lying on his rickety bed in his cramped stone hovel.  His breath slowed.  Truly he could feel the demonic forces of this place.  They haunted him still.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Penguins?
Penguins...

[MrGimp]

Dont worry, no penguins will be harmed in the making of this thread.  Just making a joke about inalucts penguin army claiming another victim....er....follower.  hahaha