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[MrGimp]

Spring 223.  I forgot to crop the picture, but oh well....sucks to be you dont it?   



In the spring we are again ambushed by elven bastards!



Lord Akigagak and Captain Jack were there with axes waiting...

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1207-elfambush

With the battle over and wounded dwarves resting, Blockedlance went back to business as usual.  That was when ANOTHER couple elf squads ambush Captain Jack and Lord Akigagak!



http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1208-elfambush2

Near the end of the battle, Lord Akigagak is wounded by elven fire magic.  The battle is won, and Captain Jack retires behind an approaching wall of flame.  During the battle, one of the many elven fireballs had ignited a forest fire, and it was headed right for Lord Akigagak!!!



The Queen herself stood on the battlements to see if the wounded champion would survive.  She seemed quite eager for blood, and almost disappointed when he managed to live through it all.  The Queen was even more disappointed when the fire cleared, she saw a new tax collector and a hammerer.



But even MORE disappointing than THAT was the fact that a bunch of stupid idiots actually chose to MOVE HERE WITH THEM!!!!



I mean, dont they know we kill people just for the hell of it here at Blockedlance?  Seriously...think about it....they are chosing to move to a place where, as a citizen, they can be randomly herded into a giant drowning chamber, or forced to pull the lever that causes their own disembowelment!  Or the disembowelment of a child or beloved pet! 

I mean....as an immigrant especially, youve got to worry about a society that shoots children because they throw a tantrum when they cant find any shells to fingerpaint with.



This is a society that locks CHAMPIONS in the deep recesses of the fortress, along with six of their kids, after having killed the wife and the family pets, AND a couple of the other kids.



Yep...the mind boggles when it attempts to comprehend the masochism and self-hatred displayed by these immigrants.

They were all drafted.  If they dont mind death, they will die for Blockedlance.

[Jackrabbit]

And much good may it do them. I like the commentary on the pictures, maybe you could do more?

[MrGimp]

Mogror Harbett, the hermit engineer of death shuffled his ancient body down the hall towards the palace.  He gained entrance and went to speak with the Philosopher Asmel in the royal guard's dining hall. 

"Yes, Mogror, what can I do for you?" asked wise Asmel.

"Elves!  The elves!  I know why they bring their fire upon us!!!

"Heh...theyre elves...theyre probably mad about the trees..." scoffed the philosopher.

"No!  They dont bring their magic down on just anybody....it drains their life essence...it threatens their immortality!!!  The Druids will spend years to replenish the mana that has been depleted just in the recent attacks!"

"Hmmm...it is true that it is rare that they use this magic of theirs.  Tell me dwarf, how do you know these things?"

Mogror's beady black eyes darted back and forth, he stuttered as he tried to speak.  "Well, I...I, you see I know a lot about the elves.  I, uh...I....I was a ranger, yeah, long time ago...when I was younger.  Some elves lived near us in our forest.  They came to trade a lot, and so I learned about them."

Wise Asmel was suspicious.  "The nearest elf forest retreats are over a thousand miles to the north, it is a point of pride that they make the effort to come all the way down here to Blockedlance just to to try and end our lives.  How could a dwarven ranger possibly have lived with elves?"

"Look, what do you know about 'the nearest elves'?  Have you ever left the mountain homes?  I bet when Letterclose was destroyed, you didnt even join the refugees and live in the forests and mountains, but instead fled to that rival dwarven hall to the northeast!  Too pampered for exile eh?"

"Damnit dwarf, just tell me what you have to tell me then!  Why are they attacking now?  Why do they risk using their magic upon us?"  Asmel was getting angry.

"Hahaha....because they know!" replied the ancient dwarf.  He smiled his crooked yellow smile, with his many missing teeth.

"Know what?"

"They know what the queen is up to."

"And what, praytell is that?"

"The god she worships....the temple she builds...the elves are right to fear this place."

"Tell me more old dwarf...."

[Akigagak]

Damn, my dorf is badass.

[Omnidum]

Long time listener, first time caller here.

 How about making some sort of a race track, where you connect retractable spikes to all the other tracks with a lever to them? Could make extermination more fun.

[MrGimp]

It is now Spring of 224.  Urist has been living at Blockedlance for 20 years now.



Blockedlance has grown to become a lovely place.  It is a burnt field of bloody vomit, crunched into the red sand by laboring dwarves and invading goblins and elves.


(The vomit has spread from the courtyard out into the red sandy wastes)


The Philosopher Asmel paced about the fortress.  He did not know what to believe anymore, or what he even felt about it either way.  He had been beside himself ever since the engineer Mogror had spoken with him.  Was he right about the Queen?  Was he right about the temple? 

He gazed out over the charred wasteand that had once been a forest, and there the primitive barbaric temple stood over it all.  It was massive, sure...and had taken many years to build just what had been built so far....but he thought about the ancients.  He thought about what they had known, and what they could build.  This rough dolomite rectangle with steel pillars wasn't really all that impressive in the grand scheme of things.  The Queen was just another megalomaniac warrior chieftain....as they all were....

Bah!  No matter.  With his privileged position as the fort's thinker, he didn't have to put his neck out and get involved if he didn't want to.

[MrGimp]

Come hither!

Come hear the tale of a warriors death, a death that shook the heavens and made the gods bellow with fury!

Let us pass the ale around until the misery of life is numb to our bones!

Come let us sing sad songs about the deaths of kings!  For in this, the spring of the year 224, the elves again attacked us in our homes!  Again our brave warriors met the challenge and surpassed it.  But sadly....at the end of the battle, a great warrior lay crippled and immobile...



His first thoughts were not of himself....



But soon he realized the danger he was in.  As he watched the flames approach, his thoughts turned to more spiritual matters...



He came to accept his fate.  Every dwarf dies.  Hey, at least he had been a dwarf.  Humans lived not much past 30 in these dark times.  No...he had had a good run....and now it was time to cash in his chips.



And thus Captain Jack Spireknife, the Brutal Square of Problems burst into flames.



And there on that field he died....not far from where had been taken down by elven arrows.  He had managed one last kill, when a brewer attempted to move his flaming body to a bed.



The brewer burst into flames as well, dropped the Captain of the Guard, and ran screaming down the western edge of the wall before collapsing and dying.

As much as it saddens me to lose one of the guys that makes our booze...losing one of our oldest and most decorated champions saddens me even more.

Farewell Captain Spireknife, may you find yourself riding with a gentle breeze on your face and the sun at your back.  We shall meet again for Ragnarok, for you shall surely be there!  Here is a list of the slaves waiting for you in the afterlife...

[Jackrabbit]

Tonight, I drink to me! Ha ha, I killed a dwarf. That's a bit bitter of me.

I shall drink until I never existed!

[MrGimp]

Well he shouldnt have been trying to move a flaming object, you know?

So that makes Legolord the oldest longest run champion in our fort, followed by Christes and then Akigagak.  Myth and Mogror are there too.  Ill try to work Myth into the plot more when I start the Masons/Miners guild.  Right now Im still working with the farmers.  It sucks you can only assign rooms to legendaries.  Bah!

The dead forum dwarves are:
Zulaf
Cain
Tradanbattlan
Jackrabbit

If anyone wants a second dwarf, or if someone new wants a dwarf let me know.  I've got dwarves all over the place.  Just give me a name and any specific requests, and Ill try to work with you.

[Jackrabbit]

Jazz, axedwarf. He wishes to avenge his adopted father, who took him under his wing. I I can make a request, have him in a single squad and sent into groups of goblins who have no bowmen so he can kick there ass or die in a fair fight. 

[MrGimp]

Okay youre back in Jackrabbit, you better avenge his death and avenge it good!  haha

Okay, heres a list of the megaprojects thus far....

     1 - Project Moat (Complete)
     2 - Temple to Ber Steelearthen (Basically Complete)
     3 - Noble River Cave (Begun)
     4 - Dwarven Valhalla (Begun)
     5 - Other temples?
     6 - Something for an Adventurer
     7 - The Tomb of Urist


BUILD FASTER DWARVES!!!  ARGGGHHH!!!!  The Queen shall die of old age before her tomb is built at this pathetic rate!!!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Truly, this is the ideal place for a 1000 year old genocidal engineer.

[MrGimp]

The Queen was overcome with rage when she heard that her loyal captain of the guard had burned to death in a most horrible manner.  She cursed the dwarves who left him to burn.  She new it was their revenge for her having sacrificed so many of them to an imaginary being that only she could hear. 

She was so angry that she craved blood.  She had not killed in twenty years.  She ordered the remaining lizardmen and the last snakemen to be sent to the arena.  There she waited for them, in full steel plate with axe in hand.  The peasants watched their gladiator queen from the dining rooms.  They were both awed by and fearful of her tenacity.



The Queen was charging before the steel gates of the beast pen had even opened.  After her initial charge she paused to give her opponents a chance to counter-attack.  The cowards could not bring themselves to take that opportunity and so the queen ran directly into the beast pen and finished the fight.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-1216-queenarena

The Queens antics were the talk of Blockedlance, and even those who hated her for killing their children still admired her dwarvishness.

[Org]

I would like a dwarf, as I dont think I have asked for one.

I would like a corssbowdorf, named Bowbeard, Male, please.

[MrGimp]

I would like a dwarf, as I dont think I have asked for one.

I would like a corssbowdorf, named Bowbeard, Male, please.

Alright, you're in.  Male is a tough request to fulfill in Blockedlance.  It seems to be mostly women.  I guess DF doesn't attempt to make it even.