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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432430 times)

powpow

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2250 on: March 09, 2011, 01:22:34 am »

KEWL

edit : wait just noticed new title i wonder whos gonna be exiled????wwwwwwwwwooooooo
« Last Edit: March 09, 2011, 02:08:57 am by powpow »
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Lovechild

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2251 on: March 09, 2011, 03:07:25 am »

...The Khamerites?
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All Races Playable Mod - Minimal mod to play as any race in DF - For 0.50.01

JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2252 on: March 09, 2011, 09:44:59 am »

Read the last page.
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As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.

Nahere

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2253 on: March 09, 2011, 01:21:51 pm »

Has anyone else noticed that Eagle's social skills are surprisingly good for a hermit?
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Eagle

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2254 on: March 09, 2011, 02:00:49 pm »

Has anyone else noticed that Eagle's social skills are surprisingly good for a hermit?

Unknown to the fortress below, I've been keeping the demons at bay via diplomacy. Either that or I've somehow become both halves of the conversation.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2255 on: March 09, 2011, 09:54:16 pm »

The Khamerites baked and withered under the hot noon sun.  Blockedlance never did get too cold in winter.  They cursed their luck for being exiled, and some even cursed their father for getting them into this mess.  They then began cursing each other, and throwing tantrums.  Fist fights erupted.  It was then that Airag stepped up to the leadership role of his family.  It had been his destiny to lead, whether from a gold throne or a courtyard prison.

"My people!  Calm yourselves!" he shouted as he dove into the hysterical mass of dwarves.  He pushed the combatants apart and tried to appeal to their reason.  "Look....we could fight each other to death if we want-"

"YEAH!!!!!" shouted Tallpanzer as he began to take another swing at his brethren.  Airag grabbed his arms and held him back.

"NO!!!  I said...we COULD fight each other....but we would be destroying our chance at a better life!"

"A better life?!  Look where we are!" shouted Tallpanzer.

"I know it will be tough, but we can do it!  We're dwarves!  Let us build shelter from the sun!"

"Look Airag, I know you're trying to help and all...but we're doomed.  The sooner you see that, the sooner you can get over it.  Do you see any stockpiles of stone out here?  Those marksdwarves on the walls will surely shoot us if we try to dig below ground," said Tallpanzer as he pointed to the massive walls around the courtyard, where their own grandmother patrolled and kept watch with her scornful eyes.  "And I doubt either they or the goblins and elves besieging the fortress would let us get very far out of the gate.  We have nothing to build with!"

Fool!  Look around you!"  Airag pointed to the trees in the southeast courtyard.  "We have more wood than we could ever use!  And I have my axe and wood cutting skills!"

"Wood?  You want us to build with wood?" asked Tallpanzer incredulous.

"Oh my Gods....we'll die like elves!" cried one of the younger brats.

"Wood is for beds, Airag," shouted another.

"My kinsmen...I share your hatred for soft splintery wood.  And aye, there would be nothing better than to sleep with a mile of hard stone between me and the sun and the stars.  Why....I get dizzy every time I look up into that endless blue emptiness.  I feel the fear that you do....that one day I might lose hold of the Earth, and fall upwards into the sky."  Many of the dwarves shuffled about uncomfortably as they heard these words.  They bowed their heads and dared not look up, for the sky stirred primal fears in a dwarf.  They looked about for any shrub or branch to cling to, just in case gravity failed to protect them from the sky sucking them into it.  "And that is why we must build ourselves shelter....no matter what it must be made of!  How could one fall asleep with the sky right there....right above them....with no solid ceiling to catch them in case they fall up?"

"Stop talking about it!" shouted a dwarf as he closed his eyes and clung to a boulder.

"My brethren....I am a skilled wood cutter,  I will clear cut this entire courtyard.  You two peasants....Ill teach you some basic carpentry.  We shall build wooden caves to sleep in," ordered Airag.

"Wooden caves....you mean like human houses?"

"NO!  They will be wooden caves!" he shouted forcefully.  "Now lets get to work."

"Well what about food and water?" asked Derek, the Khamerite Cook.

"Well, we have some murky pools to drink out of, and if you have no job to do, then gather plants.  We can build everything in wooden caves.  We'll build a wooden cave kitchen, and a wooden cave inn, and a wooden cave carpentry shop.  Come on!  It will be like in the history books....like back in pioneer days when their wagons would break down in the middle of nowhere, and they had forgotten to bring a pick.  It will be an adventure!"

Airag was quite persuasive.  The grumpy dwarves set aside their anger and misery and decided to build some 'wooden caves' to at least get the sun off their minds. 



And so it was that the first surface settlement began....



...and the dwarves began living in wood.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2256 on: March 09, 2011, 09:58:58 pm »

Wooden caves.
I'll take twenty.

NobodyPro

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2257 on: March 10, 2011, 03:05:59 am »

I actually laughed out loud at that past post, some good story telling going on here. I'd tell you to dig deeper but I seem to remember that being the start of this long, epic story.

Did Urist ever have a dog? Can't remember.
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2258 on: March 10, 2011, 03:56:35 pm »

Did Urist ever have a dog? Can't remember.

Nah she never had a pet. 

We dont have dogs in Blockedlance.  We had some giant eagles and foxes and bears.  Now theyre all dead.  All we have now is a bunch of horses.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2259 on: March 11, 2011, 01:09:47 am »

While the Khamerites vomited and struggled under the hot sun to build shoddy wooden caves, the royals and their Kurkish allies partied and danced the night away in a drunken stupor.



And all the while, Khamero and Jewelettarette sat locked away in a food and booze filled room in the southeast tower.  They did not speak much.  They had fallen far from their once lofty heights, and the bitterness ran deep.  However, Jewelettarette had been pregnant (as always) when she was locked in the tower, and in the depths of winter she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.



But what kind of a life awaited this child except that of a slave?

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

powpow

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2260 on: March 11, 2011, 03:38:21 am »

lol slave factory
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2261 on: March 12, 2011, 10:58:06 am »

After a long hard day of slaving, you need a powerful thirst quencher.  When boring old water just wont do, try G8torade!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaVgElQKB4U

It's an energy drink for slaves!

Energy!  For Slaves!

G8torade will make your babies into fascist shock troops!!!

G8torade costs more than you can afford, but you'll swallow it....AND PAY THE BILL!!!!



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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

nil

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2262 on: March 12, 2011, 01:39:52 pm »

but: does it have electrolytes?

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2263 on: March 12, 2011, 02:19:42 pm »

Of course.  It's what slaves crave.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

peregarrett

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2264 on: March 13, 2011, 05:41:17 am »

Phew! Finally I made through whole story, and must say it's briliant!
I even missed old good 40d times...

Are there any unnamed dwarves left?
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Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.
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