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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 433435 times)

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #195 on: March 08, 2009, 09:52:37 pm »

How do you trap enemies/elves underground?

I've just been building walls behind em after they get in there and unload.  I have plans to add a retracting bridge over the ramp though.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #196 on: March 09, 2009, 02:32:42 am »



Summer ends with the election of the old mayors sister.  That's THREE members of the same family in a row!  This House of Erib worshippers is a threat.  Erib is the God of metals, and so is an ally of Ber Steelearthen in the mythology of the Ageless Matched Lashes.  But no threat to Urist's power could be an ally in truth.  Urist detested the House of Erib, but they were too powerful to move against just yet.



Zulaf and the Hammerer are becoming friends.  I guess that happens after you've been trapped in a dungeon for a long time.  The Hammerer gets bouts of misery and unhappiness quite often, but Zulaf is never less than content, even when rotting corpses litter the cave.  It seems young Zulaf is wearing the Hammerer down with psychological torture.

In other news, theres a lot of vomit in the courtyard...


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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #197 on: March 09, 2009, 02:46:57 am »

So in the fall there is another siege, and a warrior gets knocked into the moat.  I panic because I havent even started my Dwarven Valhalla Cave.  But it turned out to be some non-forum dwarf so then I didnt care as much (at all?).

But she was still legendary, She was Ingish the Coastal King...wait...that cant be right....King?  Shes a she, not a he.  Anyways....here she is...drowning.



So since theres no chance to save her I check her kills.  Shes one I definitely want in my Valhalla Cave.  Only on active combat duty for two years, and 18 notable kills!



Shes only dabbling in swimming...and she JUST picked that up.  She would have to stay alive and swim halfway across the map, then through my water tunnels and out into the Noble's River Cave to survive.  No way.  She cant do it.  Right?



I guess that's why they call her the Coastal King(Queen?) of Wars!
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Christes

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #198 on: March 09, 2009, 04:06:57 am »

Just goes to show you that even dwarves can't tell their own genders apart.
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short_dwarf

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #199 on: March 09, 2009, 08:34:56 am »

Those dwarves are legendary for a reason
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Courage. Do one brave thing today, then run like H#ll.
Insanity: What others call geniuses when they are jealous and/or unable to comprehend the ideas/inventions of amazing/epic proportions of the one being called insane.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #200 on: March 09, 2009, 09:39:52 pm »



Progress is made upon the temple's lower levels.  There is the new drowning baptismal chamber.  It will also function as a partial draining mechanism for the fortress moat...another one will have to be constructed as well.  We're moving the farms deeper underground this seasons too.

Theres another siege this season, of course.  However, this time both Captain Jack and Lord Lego are missing and presumed drunk.  Christes and Tradanbatllan are missing and presumed horny.

It is up to the four legendary dwarves under Captain Tekkud (Ingish the Coastal King is in his squad) to fend off the goblin hordes from the temple.  Tekkud leads his squad west, leaving the eastern passage in the capable hands of the marksdwarves....

The marksdwarves however, allow quite a few goblins into the center of the fortress...where I tell the training marksdwarves and axedwarves to get back on duty and defend the mountain home!



Tekkud's squad slaughters the goblin squad in the west.  Jackrabbit showed up just in time to remark "We missed it?  We missed the battle?  Hey Im not as think as you drunk I am!!!  Leave me alone!"



But the battle wasnt over.  I had told everyone to reassemble inside the fortress defenses, but some marksdwarves were adamant about getting those silk socks...



They paid for the silky smoothness with their lives.

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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #201 on: March 10, 2009, 01:36:43 pm »



A Beak Dog fell in a pool and didnt drown.  What?  He kept interrupting people who went near him trying to get silk socks and caps.  Lord Lego summoned his squad.  Christes did the honors by putting the mut down.
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #202 on: March 10, 2009, 01:43:32 pm »

Here is Blockedlance's first level 8 days before Spring of 220.  Notice the massive quantities of vomit that trail from the center of the fort out around almost its entire perimeter.  I have just come up with something awesome I could do to 'solve' the courtyard vomit 'problem' but it will end up being yet another mega project and will slow down the others.  But I have to!  Doubt it will work though.  Ill have to visit the wiki.  Ill let you in on the awesomeness when the idea is fully formulated.






Anyways, I tried to upload blockedlance to the map archive, but it told me the file was too big.  Even trimming it down to two or three levels didnt work!  It said I have too high a percentage of unique tiles, and this causes low compression.  It cant be my tileset can it?  Ive seen MASSIVE foretresses on the map archive with tilesets in use.  I dont understand why dinky little Blockedlance wont go up.  Anyone have any ideas?
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #203 on: March 10, 2009, 03:35:18 pm »

Chapter #6 - Goodbye Sanity


Hear Ye Hear Ye!  Queen Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs doth incite due litigation, in fervant accordance with the new law, that all members of the peasantry that doth not worship unto the Steel-Earthen shall hereby promptly report to the Temple's baptismal chamber for conversion!

« Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 12:43:41 am by MrGimp »
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #204 on: March 10, 2009, 05:30:53 pm »

Hurray!
Being horny obviously is more important than fighting to save our home.

MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #205 on: March 10, 2009, 11:27:05 pm »

Spring 220



The shock went through Blockedlance like a silent wave.  Everyone felt it, none were immune to the creeping sense of anxiety about the new Temples use as a sacrificial altar to Ber Steelearthen.  It wasnt even half finished, and it had already exacted such a terrible price upon the dwarves who labored under Queen Urist.  The first two peasants were told to go in for conversion.  The devoutly religious among the lower class were indignant, but going along with a conversion to a new god in public did not mean they had to do so in private.  So the two peasants went in, and when they came out, two new burial tasks were entered into the Mayors ledger.

Another peasant had to be forced in kicking and screaming.  The dwarf who pushed him in, a legendary bone carver, was also locked in accidentally.  But since he didnt worship Ber Steelearthen, he deserved death, too, and the lever was pulled anyways.  Plus the artifact he made had a crummy picture of crummy Queen Cog on it.  The bastard!



It was then that the panic truly set in, for if even a legendary could be killed for not worshipping Ber Steelearthen, then ANY dwarf could be killed.  But for now the order had strictly said that only *peasants* need worship Ber Steelearthen or die.  The Eribite mayor won exclusion for him and his family from this law.  Urist quietly seethed with rage at the House of Erib.

Seeking more ways to bring down the masses of slobbering mouth breathers to something of a more controllable number, Urist then ordered mothers who did not worship Ber Steelearthen into the Pet Owner Rehabillitation Booth. 

The results were......unspeakable....







The dwarves were horrified...but Urist knew who was smiling; Ber.  Ber Steelearthen was smelling the miasmic cloud of fragrant baby death, and it was good.  Child sacrifice had been common among the ancient dwarves of Sil Gomath.....the weakened ways of civilization and the nobility ruined everything! 

They had brought their gods Erib and Nunur, held them up as the greatest of the gods, and relegated Ber Steelearthen to the role of some minor deity.  No!  Urist would sacrifice their children to Ber in revenge for the eons of unsatisfied hunger for dwarf blood....and with this new strength, Ber Steelearthen would rise to sit at the head of the Gods' table in the Heavenly Halls!  In return for her loyalty, perhaps Ber Steelearthen would grant Urist immortality, and maybe even Godhood itself!

Moohoohuahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 11:31:09 pm by MrGimp »
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MrGimp

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #206 on: March 11, 2009, 02:25:26 am »

Many had died, but the fortress was large.  Far too large for Urist to control.  Already a noble House was springing up from the fertile soil of the wealthy Blockedlance.  Another large family also drew Queen Urist's attention, as they worshipped Erib as well.  The Eribite incursion would definitely need to be stopped.

The serfs were on high alert after the child sacrifices in the Temple.  Thob Whipcolor, the Trader, explained to everyone that this was the way the gods had always been worshipped, and that it had only been forgotten recently.  He promised that the strength of the departeds' souls' would come back in the form of rich soil, bountiful booze, beautiful women, and lots of giant cave spider silk.  When he promised them giant cave spider silk they didnt mind the dead babies and children so much.

Queen Urist however, remained squirrelled away.  She had begun writing in her journal, because she could no longer trust anyone.  But now she could no longer trust having her thoughts laying about in a book for anyone to read.  She had taken to talking to herself.  Little bits here and there at first...but eventually it consumed her private time.

One day, as she paced about her palace, she heard a low deep voice....it's power gripped her.

"Chosen One...."

Urist froze.

"....You have awoken me from eons of slumber...."

Urist's heart beat nearly out of her chest.  She put her hands on her head and tried to shake the voice out...but it refused to leave.

"You know me as Ber Steelearthern....

"My God....I serve only you!"

"Though my Temple is not yet finished it is no matter....you have performed the child sacrifice necessary to invoke my consciousness back into the realm of existence......but only faintly...."

"My lord....what must I do???" asked Urist frantically.

"You must bathe the temple in blood!  Do not stop killing!!!  I shall need to devour as many souls as I can to rebuild my strength, Urist!  Can you do this for me?  Can you breed peasants like cattle and feed their souls to me?"

"My Lord....you have revealed yourself to me at last!  I cannot deny you anything!!!"

"Good....go now.....there are still sixty children in your great moutain.  Feed me their delicious youthful blood!"
« Last Edit: March 11, 2009, 02:30:54 am by MrGimp »
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #207 on: March 11, 2009, 02:42:25 am »

ewwwwwwwwww. Pedo god.

Is the military exempt?
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Christes

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #208 on: March 11, 2009, 04:12:53 am »

Oh dear god.

This trope has been thoroughly violated.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Urist Salvedangers the Foggy Barbs
« Reply #209 on: March 11, 2009, 04:38:10 am »

I believe the term is averted. Horribly, horribly averted.
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