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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 432186 times)

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1080 on: October 07, 2009, 09:06:31 am »

I cannot really imagine you would actually kill Queen Urist, Mr Gimp. But now i'm wondering what kind of mad superpowers you will make available to her when the venomous mixture mixes with her DNA. Mogror lived a thousand years making insane experiments, he for sure has some hidden agenda, using Eberdek in the process. I'm impatient, i'm eager! But yet i have to wait! I feel Blockedlanced !!!
I'm too evil for my socks
Too evil for my socks
I'm so evil, it hurts.
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...I keep searching for my family's raw files, for modding them.

Aldaris

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1081 on: October 07, 2009, 10:28:47 am »

In keeping with the 1984 references, instal a Dorfsock government!
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
^Totally not out of context, promise.
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Jim Groovester

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1082 on: October 07, 2009, 01:48:22 pm »

Eberdek is so screwed.

I wonder who Grigrak's next incarnation will be.
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Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1083 on: October 07, 2009, 04:10:43 pm »

Eberdek is so screwed.

I wonder who Grigrak's next incarnation will be.
Simple.
The Microline Menace.

Vicomt

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1084 on: October 09, 2009, 06:56:49 am »

Just finished reading this.

EPIC.

that is all.

Jervous

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1085 on: October 09, 2009, 08:32:15 am »

Mogror is going to sell him out, just like that other time.
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1086 on: October 09, 2009, 10:23:00 am »

Eberdek's heart pounded as he grabbed the sugar roast before him.  He had the poison hidden in an eyedropper tucked in his sleeve (he had chosen to actually wear clothes....a somewhat unusual thing for the half-mad savages of Blockedlance).  As he grabbed the roast and brought it to his mouth, he tapped several drops out of the dropper.  He bit a few bites from the far end of the roast, then set the roast back down.  The guards said nothing.  They then began counting down the hourglass.  Eberdek began to relax, knowing he had gotten away with it already.

"Why do they call these things hourglasses?  I mean...only the REALLY big ones take an hour to trickle down.  This one here is more like a twenty minute glass!" remarked Eberdek.

The guards said nothing. 

"I suppose hourglass sounds better than twenty minute glass?" he quipped at the silent guards.

It was then that the Queen entered.  Eberdek was actually happy to see her for once.

"Your majesty!" said Eberdek with a smile as he stood and bowed.  The Queen did not smile back.  She simply sat at the head of the table and stared at him.

At last the Queen spoke.  "Enjoying your sugar roast?"

"Oh yes, your majesty!" beamed Eberdek.  "I love these things so much!"

"Good...you know...I had a big lunch.  Why don't you eat the rest of that roast?"

"Huh?"

"Eat the rest of that roast."

"Oh, your majesty, I could never impose on you like that!"

"Eat the roast, Eberdek."

Eberdek's heart began beating wildly.  He picked up the roast and nibbled a couple more bites off of the safe side.  Then he put it down.  "I really am full your majesty."

"Guards," she said, snapping her fingers.  Immediately four spears were in Eberdek's face.  "Now Eberdek....you're going to eat that entire roast or slowly be tortured to death in the tower for the rest of your days."

At this moment Mogror Harbett came in with a big smile on his face.  He sat next to the Queen.  The two Armok worshippers sat staring at Eberdek, who had no choice but to eat the poisoned roast.

"I forgot to tell you, my dear boy!" laughed Mogror.  "That venom mixture I gave you doesn't actually kill you right away.  You're actually simply going to bloat and swell up to three times your size, you will be struck by an incredible fever, your eyeballs, ear drums, and genitals will swell and burst, and you will be paralyzed by the toxins.  How does that sound?"

Eberdek could feel the poison already.  He was dizzy.  He had to be force fed the last bit of sugar roast. 

"Hmmph!" snorted the Queen.  "Take this filthy traitor to rot in the tower!"
« Last Edit: October 09, 2009, 10:48:11 am by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1087 on: October 09, 2009, 12:26:11 pm »

Pfahahaha!
I will see him in HELL!

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1088 on: October 09, 2009, 04:55:16 pm »

In other news, this summer we killed a tax collector and hammerer that had come from Letterclose.  They worshiped the wrong God, what can you do?

It bothers me though, that these remaining nobles over at Letterclose still think they have a say in things...like this is some kind of democracy.  Pfff.

Democracy is for losers.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Jim Groovester

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1089 on: October 09, 2009, 06:07:30 pm »

Ouch. That sucks for Eberdek.

Though, typical fare for Blockedlance citizens.
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Akhier the Dragon hearted

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1090 on: October 10, 2009, 02:11:46 am »

Bah! he's lucky cause he just gets reborn. In a good hell they can get 3 times the pain at half the cost.

also I want in as a smarter then average rebel named akhier
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Aldaris

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1091 on: October 10, 2009, 06:59:25 am »

Have the remaining freemasons set up a conspiracy to set up a 1984 style government!

Ingsoc is for losers, Democracy is for losers, Monarchy is for losers! Dorfsock for life!
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
^Totally not out of context, promise.
The Liberal Crime Squad Community game, now with a Liberal Overdose of Liberally aplied Liberalism. -Liberally. (UBER-Hiatus, next update somewhere between now and 2012.)

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1092 on: October 10, 2009, 11:33:45 am »

Big Brother = Urist?
Big Urist?

Akigagak

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1093 on: October 10, 2009, 11:51:21 am »

Big Bomrek, surely.

How is my axedwarf doing? Haven't seen him lately.
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Aldaris

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Re: Blockedlance - Grave of a Thousand Dwarves
« Reply #1094 on: October 10, 2009, 02:11:13 pm »

If mr Gimp gives the go ahead, I'm ready to give sugestions on how to implement the dorfsock government, what with me reading the book right now.
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
^Totally not out of context, promise.
The Liberal Crime Squad Community game, now with a Liberal Overdose of Liberally aplied Liberalism. -Liberally. (UBER-Hiatus, next update somewhere between now and 2012.)
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