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Author Topic: Weird Custom Jobs  (Read 1555 times)

Kudust

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Weird Custom Jobs
« on: December 07, 2008, 12:40:21 pm »

Once you get to a particular point, you have a surplus of dwarves. Lest you cull them by drowning them, burning them, dropping them in pits or throwing them at beasties, they'll have no real job in the fortress.

So, lets make up some job titles for those idiot, glory-stealing, good-for-nothing, late-arriving snotlings that dare to call themselves dwarves!

Dairymaid - The immigrant that brings a cow is the dairymaid, reguardless of gender. They have to look after the thing and sleep in a little hut next to the pasture.

Gladiator - Soldiers, each trained in a different weapon, they are pit against captured foes for the entertainment of the masses in a arena.

Ratter - You know that one dwarf? The one that is followed by a sea of writhing cat? Send him out into the wilds to rid the world of vermin. He can only wear leather and weild daggers.

Pirate - Ah, the pirate, or indeed, for those with better intentions, sailor. Build a moat around an island, then build a structure not unlike a crashed ship. Fill the island full of your loonies and give 'em lots of rum. The best fighter is called a Captain. Build catapults and the like along the "ship".

Foreign Legionnaire - Build a watch tower far from your fortress, fill it full of veterans. Their leader is a General, called de Négrier for bonus points.

Doomsayer - Every fortress needs one, pick that depressed dwarf over there. No, that one.

Butler - A peasant who's only job is to clean and perhaps cook, he works for a noble and lives in a room beneath the noble's quarters.

Barber - The hairdresser of dwarven kind...may actually come into play soon. Toady One thinks of everything. He gets a large room and a barber shop. Have four of them for a barber shop quartet!

Gardener - Clears out the weeds from the fortress gate. A gardener's duties also involve fighting baboons bare handed and shooing away elephants that try to stand on the roses.

Lawyer - Speaks the case for imprisoned dwarves, surprisingly, they don't win many cases.

Monk & Nun - A peasant dwarf that really digs (pun!) their god becomes the local monk or nun, as more worshipers turn up you can add a few monks and make the original an Abbot. They live in a huge monastry deep in the earth or alternatively, on a mountain top. You could even create rival monastries!

Saint Nicholas - A dwarven santa! A expert toymaker and all round nice guy. Unless you're naughty, he is a hammerer after all. Oh, and don't mind the caged elves, they're his helpers, honest! Bonus points for pet raindeer.

Lighthouse Keeper - Build a tall tower on a cliff and keep this guy stuck inside it day and night. Bonus if you are in fact no where near the sea.

Knocker - A unimportant, I mean sacred, miner, that is sent to dig first before the rest of your mining crew to test for water, magma and monsters.






« Last Edit: December 07, 2008, 12:44:42 pm by Kudust »
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Warlord255

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2008, 04:10:00 pm »

Mortician - The only dwarf with Burial enabled. Also makes coffins.
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woose1

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2008, 04:23:34 pm »

Hunchback-A really injured dwarf put up in a tower.
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Axe27

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2008, 04:46:46 pm »

Fortress Guard...Oh wait.

Spinal Guard: The dwarves who are missing a limb, and have severe nerve damage.
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And thus did the dream of dwarven antigravity fade away, not with a massive explosion or a flood of magma, but with a whimper.

I'm going to be depressed all day now.

sir diesalot

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2008, 05:02:56 pm »

Ninja - a dwarf (yeah a dwarf ninja) trained in the sword, ambushing and throwing forr a bonus. For another bonus they should have a dojo.
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NOT THE BEES!

Lexender

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2008, 05:09:29 pm »

The bureaucrat, whose job is to move pile of coins from one spot to another. He's allowed to take many, many breaks. Bonus if you have two with connected offices, exchanging their pile of coins.
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Taritus

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2008, 05:10:05 pm »

Don't think throwing does anything in Dwarf Mode, besides determining how destructive your dwarves are during tantrums.  Letting a battalion of dwarves tantrum and send them into battle?  Sounds pretty dwarven.
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Foa

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2008, 05:53:15 pm »

Force Field Technician - Makes force fields for important areas, don't use the self destruct button...

Test Subject - Self Explanatory
« Last Edit: December 07, 2008, 05:58:05 pm by Foa »
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Greiger

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2008, 08:09:26 pm »

VET Animal caretaker that gets drafted and sent into a small locked room with a ceiling opening, well, and 1 tile food stockpile.  Heroic wounded animals get pitted into the room where they are taken care of by the vet.

CONSTRUCTOR Immigrant peasants with masonry enabled.  Do nothing but make constructions. Mason workshops are set to require novice skill, which they don't have.

DEADBEAT Permanently bedridden residents without military duty.

RETIREE Permanently bedridden residents that killed at least 3 hostile creatures or otherwise served with distinction.

MEAT SHIELD Given to any non useful residents that immigrate with or obtain a large number of an unwanted animal.  Trained normally in a melee weapon and given good armor.  Placed in the front lines of the melee squads.  The animals act as a shield for the military to close in on enemy archers safely.  High mortality rate of this position allows disposal of surviving animals after the battle's end.  A large number of war animals get added to the meat shield's horde if they survive long enough to become highly skilled.
« Last Edit: December 07, 2008, 08:32:37 pm by Greiger »
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Disclaimer: Not responsible for dwarven deaths from the use or misuse of this post.
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Hectonkhyres

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #9 on: December 07, 2008, 08:21:33 pm »

BADASS: You know the one. That one dwarf who gets punted across existence by a megabeast only to later beat it to death with its own spleen. Has a pair of orange, pointy sunglasses modded in specially for him.

THE RINCEWIND:An unskilled dwarf whom you use for all those lovely tasks like digging through magma pools, luring GCS into traps, fetching pigtail socks from the edges of carp-infested rivers. If he survives, he may evolve into ahe aformentioned Badass.
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...originally read that as 'perpetual motion pants' and thought how could I have missed this??

MuonDecay

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #10 on: December 07, 2008, 08:56:30 pm »

I really wish you could favorite threads.
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Yanlin

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2008, 09:54:57 am »

Noble: Does nothing and kills dwarves for not doing stuff for him.

Oh wait...
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Kudust

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2008, 03:20:53 pm »

BADASS: You know the one. That one dwarf who gets punted across existence by a megabeast only to later beat it to death with its own spleen. Has a pair of orange, pointy sunglasses modded in specially for him.

THE RINCEWIND:An unskilled dwarf whom you use for all those lovely tasks like digging through magma pools, luring GCS into traps, fetching pigtail socks from the edges of carp-infested rivers. If he survives, he may evolve into ahe aformentioned Badass.


Of course you know neither of these are complete without:

Soul of the Drill - His pick will be the pick to pierce the heavens!! A young miner of great skill. Bonus if he was born in the fortress and never goes outside.

Tourist - Totally unaware of the horrors of dwarven life, eternally cheerful and believes in their is goodness in all people. He should have a artifact chest called The Luggage.

And now, som'more!

Samurai - Pick a melancholy dwarf. Build him a large room overground styled after Japanese design, fill it with fine weapons, armor stands and lots of silk items.

Crusader - Kit out a bunch of well trained dwarves in your best weapons and armor. Send them on a hunt for the Holy Grail or even a Holy City. The fact that these things do not exist should not deter them.

Sinner - Your laziest dwarf is the Sloth-Dwarf, your worst noble the Pride-Dwarf, your most tantrum prone the Wrath-Dwarf ect. They should inhabit a personal Hell built for them at the bottom of your mountain, next to fire imps or demons if you have them.

Magical Hobo-Hobo - Find someone useless, like your fifth soap maker, take away his bedroom and give him no duties.

Visionary - That engaver who engraves..."interesting" images. Like tentacle demons laughing at hippos surrounded by mermaid and cheese engravings. Bonus if he is named anything from Salvadore to Pablo to Max Ernst.

Plumber - Chosen to clear out the sewer system of the fortress, this includes nearby caves and water-pumping stations. Obviously, it is incredibly important to have two of them and for them to be brothers, bros. if you will. Bonus if you make a actually sewer beneath your fortress full of levers that let out water.

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Neoskel

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2008, 04:07:42 am »

BADASS: You know the one. That one dwarf who gets punted across existence by a megabeast only to later beat it to death with its own spleen. Has a pair of orange, pointy sunglasses modded in specially for him.


Of course you know neither of these are complete without:

Soul of the Drill - His pick will be the pick to pierce the heavens!! A young miner of great skill. Bonus if he was born in the fortress and never goes outside.

Big bonus if you build a big humanoid 'house' out of metal for them to live in. Badass goes in the chest face, Soul of the Drill goes in the head. Don't forget to install giant corkscrew traps all over it.
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Urist Mcsurvivalist has been accosted by edible vermin lately.

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peekama

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Re: Weird Custom Jobs
« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2008, 03:40:32 pm »

Mega bonus points if your fort is a large above ground boat hull made from metal with two legs. Said fort should have many ballistae and catapults.
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