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[Mephansteras]

Far beneath the icy surface of the southern glaciers, three dwarves stand in a smoothed and engraved chamber. The first dwarf, a heavyset dwarf with thick, powerful arms stands over a table littered with papers.

"So, this is him, is it Captain?"

"Yes, sir" responds the second dwarf. Unlike the other two she is clad in chain and dark crystal plate, with a copper morningstar hanging at her side. "This is the dwarf who was tasked with recovering the wounded." Her left hand gripped the third dwarf's arm. Perhaps a bit tighter then strictly necessary.

"I see." The first dwarf, the self-styled Lord Crescent, Administrator of the fortress Omerzoden, gazed at the cowering dwarf. "And what is your name?"

"I'm known as Claystone CrowdedIrons, sir. And I don't understand. What have I done wrong?" CrowdedIrons fidgeted under the firm grip of the Captain of the Guard.

"What's wrong? What's wrong is that One-eye Knifebeaches The Rough Grasp of Style, our greatest Champion, has bled to death. And it is your fault!"

"My fault??" quavered the captive. "I...I don't understand. I brought him back from the battle with the Ogres, since he'd been beat up bad. He was hurt, but once in bed and looked after I'm sure he'd be fine. How could he have died?"

"Perhaps. But...CrowdedIrons, did you bring him back to bed?" Lord Crescent raised a thick eyebrow.

"Uh..well...no. You see, I got really thirsty hauling him back. So I figured, hey, we're back at the fortress. I'll go grab a quick drink! And there I was, quaffing some nice strawberry wine, when miss DiamondGuard here hauls me down to your office! I was going to go and finish the job, I swear!"

"I'm sure you would have. Except that you dropped him ON TOP OF ONE OF OUR TRAPS!" The stocky administrator's hand crashed down on the desk beside him, toppling a brass goblet onto the floor. "Your lazyness has cost us a great warror. And why? So some...what, stonecarver? could get a drink?".

"But, but, sir! I swear, I never meant for that to happen!!"

"So? That means what? That you're incompetent instead of a traitor?" He turned away from the prisoner and looked at the grim-faced guard. "Captain, what is the punishment for this crime?"

The Captain hesitated. "Well, sir, I'm not really sure. He didn't fail a mandate, or directly cause any damage to person or property"

"But he KILLED One-eye!"

"Well, yes, sir. But according to the gate sentries One-eye died when he rolled over onto the trap, triggering it. Claystone here didn't directly put him onto the trap's trigger. I'm not sure what to do. The jail hasn't been carved out yet..."

"Yes, yes, I know." Interrupted Lord Crescent. "I'm sorry, but we need the western tunnels excavated first. I need that limonite and marble for our steelworks."

"I know, sir. And I understand. But without a jail I can't lock him up. We could beat him I suppose..." she looked sideways at the prisoner, her hand falling down towards the hilt of her morningstar.

"PLEASE!" Now terrified, the craftsdwarf fell to his knees. "I'll...I'll do something to make it up! I'm sorry, and you're right. I was lazy! But there must be something I can do to make up for it"

"Let me think, both of you." The Administrator turned away from them, and walked over to the engraved garnerite walls. He walked past them, trailing his hands over images of clouds, and battles both won and lost.

Eventually, he stopped and walked back to the other two dwarves. His hand stroked his think brown beard as he chose his words. "The site for this fortress was chosen by Queen Zefon herself. This is a very dangerous location. The icy wasteland of this glacier is permeated with a deep evil. An evil she does not want spread to the rest of our lands. And so we are here to combat it. It is a harsh location, but we are dwarves. We have metal, and the fires of the earth to with which to work it. But metal and fire alone will not keep the evil at bay. For that, we need heroes. Heroes like One-eye, who has killed ogres, and driven off entire ambushes by himself. One-eye always charged ahead, ready to defend our fortress with his life."

He paused for a bit, eyes closed.

"Yes, what we need is heroes. I could have you beaten, or perhaps exiled. We could even throw you to the magma, I suppose. But instead, I will give you a chance to redeem yourself."

He grabbed hold of the dwarf's beard, and dragged him to his feet.

"You are no longer Claystone CrowdedIrons! You are no longer a stonecarver. From this day forward, you shall become a hammerdwarf!"

"A...a hammerdwarf? That's what One-eye was, right? I remember him having an iron hammer. I...I suppose I could do that. Fight monsters...and...stuff. I mean, it beats being thrown in lava, right?" CrowdedIrons managed a weak grin.

"Sir, I think I know an appropriate name for him." Interjected the Captain, with a mocking twist to her lips. "Call him Lazyhammer, since it's because he's so lazy that he's got to wield one!"

"Ha! I like it!" The Administrator pointed a finger at the newly drafted craftsdwarf. "LazyHammer, report to the barracks and start your training. You have very, very large shoes to fill if you want to earn your redemption!"

[Balor Kartain]

I look forward to reading more.

[Mephansteras]

To provide a little bit of context, this story is the result of this thread where I complained about One-eyes ignoble death. Thanks to all that gave me ideas, by the way!

Also, my game is pretty heavily modded, so I'll be referencing some stuff in this story that don't exist in Vanilla DF. I'll try to make it as clear as possible what I'm talking about, or at least slip it in as quietly as I can to avoid confusion.

Already made one mention, with the Captain wearing "dark crystal plate", which is a modded in metal of my mod called Void Crystal. It'll probably show up more later.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys the story. I have no idea how far LazyHammer will get on his journey, but he's not dead yet and I have a few good stories to add in one I have some more time. I guess we'll see whether he finds redemption or dies in the process!

[Mephansteras]

Several months later, CrowdedIrons is sparring in the barracks with a young swordmaiden named ShimmerBlade, a member of squad The Braided Ships, when the Captain strolls in.

"LazyHammer! I think it's time you put that hammer of yours to good use!"

"Yes ma'am!" he cried, snapping to a somewhat sloppy attention. "Are there goblins about?  Bugbears, maybe?"

"No, none yet I'm afraid." She replied with a slight smile. "But you can put that hammer to use anyway. We've got an infestation of Giant Ants near the sand pits in the northern woods. GreyAxe and his crew are patrolling the area, but I'd like you to get some field experience."

"Uh...Ants, ma'am?" His hammer drooped a bit towards the ground. "I was kind of hoping it'd be harpies or something."

"Well, you get ants. They're a bit of a pest, and we don't want them running around harassing the woodcutters. And don't underestimate them, they're about as big as a dog and a good. bit. more. dangerous!" She emphasized the last point with a few whacks to his shield with her morningstar.

"Well, ok, then. I'll, uh, head up to the Northern woods, then." CrowdedIrons looked around a bit dazedly. Shimmerblade took him by the arm and pushed him towards the stockpiles. "Come on, Lazyhammer. My husband goes up there all the time to collect Sand, so I know what it's like. I'll make sure you're provisioned properly"

As the two walked out of the barracks the Captain looked around at the grinning soldiers, who had stopped practicing to watch the spectacle. "What? You didn't think we'd throw him at an Ogre on his first day, did you? We'll see if he can handle some  bugs, first. NOW GET BACK TO YOUR TRAINING!"

[Strife26]

This looks very interesting.
I hope that he survives.

[Mephansteras]

"There's another one!" shouted Redshield, a macedwarf in Greyaxe's squad. LazyHammer looked around wildly for a bit before seeing the dark red form of a giant ant scuttling across the ground.

"I got it!" he yelled back, short legs pumping as he raced over to it.

The ant reared back as he got close, it's large mandibles outspread and it's antennae waving in alarm. The novice hammerdwarf moved in cautiously, he shield held low in front of him and his hammer high above his head. As the ant darted forward to attack, he yelped and stumbled backwards, the ants mandibles scraping against the front of the shield. He flailed with his hammer, it's heavy steel head crunching into the still-frozen ground.

Suddenly he was pulled off-balance, going to his knees for a moment as the ant yanked on his shield. Close to panicking at this point, he swung his hammer at the only part of the ant he could see, the end of an outstretched leg. It crunched beneath his strike, and the ant's pull lessened a bit. He shifted his shield slightly, trying to find a shot on the creature's head or body.

They danced like this for a while, circling about as the dwarf tried to find a way to strike his opponent, and the ant blindly following its instincts to hold on until it's opponent gave in to pain or exhaustion. In desperation, LazyHammer dropped his shield and stumbled back from the ant. It to staggered back a few steps, dragging the shield on the ground. With a great cry, he left forward and started bashing the ant in the head. He missed rather often, with more hits clanging off his own shield or thudding into the hard ground then actually connecting with the ant. But enough shots found their mark that, after a while, the ant lay still on the ground, oozing ichor from several large cracks in it's head.

After he struggled for a bit to get his shield back, he jogged over to where Greyaxe and his crew were patrolling. The scattered bodies of half a dozen ants lay in a trail behind them.

"I got one!" He said, beaming with pride. "They can be tough little monsters, huh?"

Greyaxe smiled. "Good job, lad. There are a few more over on the ice shelf to the east. Let's go have a bit more fun, eh?

---

About a month later, the veteran of battles with giant ants, beetles larger then horses, and a groundhog that happened to pop out of a bush at just the wrong time, Crowdedirons was feeling pretty good about himself. Sure, he hadn't killed any ogres yet, or even fought anything that had the wits to even lift a dagger in it's defense. But he was sure that time would come.

So he was in a cheerful mood as he sauntered into the dining hall that morning, whistling an old battle tune and drumming his fingers against his shield. Seeing his old sparring partner, Shimmerblade, sitting at one of the tables with her infant, he grabbed some roast salmon and sat down next to her.

"Hey, Shimmerblade! You know, I feel great! I got a good night's rest, and I'm really enjoying this soldier business. Yesterday I spent about an hour chasing this flying...I don't know, Blob of jelly or something. Anyway, took forever to catch it. But man that was fun!"

"It's called a Wind Drifter" she replied absently, feeding a spoonful of stew to her child.

"Wind Drifter, yeah. Well, I hope I get to fight something more interesting soon. I'd love to take on a bugbear, you know? Bash one of those ugly suckers right in the face!"

"Uh, Lazyhammer, you obviously didn't hear. But, there was an ambush while you were sleeping. And, it didn't go well for us." Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes.

"Wait, what?! An ambush! What happened!" a forkful of fish dropped unnoticed onto the table.

"The followers of Chaos showed up. Four squads, up in the northern woods. Nightcleaver's squad was patrolling. They killed a few of them...but...it wasn't enough."

"Oh. Wow. I mean, Nightcleaver was pretty new, right? And to have to fight our dark kin. That's rough. That's real rough. Who made it out?"

"Just Voidspike. Nigthcleaver, Northwatcher, and Steelbolt all died trying to keep them out of our tunnels. And..." she broke down in sobs, cradling her daughter in her arms. "my husband was up there collecting Sand. They caught him climbing out of the sand pits."

"I...I'm so sorry. If only I'd known. If only someone had woken me. I mean, that's my patrol area. I should have been there!"

"No, no." She sniffed, wiping tears from her face. "It's alright. You were sleeping after a long patrol, everyone knows that. Nightcleaver and his group were on patrol then, no one expected anything to happen. And no one blames you for not being there."

"But, but. Who took them out? Are they still out there?" He started to rise.

"No, they're dead. Greyaxe and a few of his crew were up early. I guess he wanted to check on Nightcleaver the others. When he heard the fighting he charged in. Even Chaos dwarves are no match for him, I suppose." she smiled a bit wanly.

"Yeah, sure. Greyaxe was up. But I wasn't. How am I supposed to redeem myself if I can't even manage to be at the fights?" He got up. "I'm going back out. I don't want to miss anything else."

"Good luck. Just...be careful. You're not good enough to take on whole squads by yourself yet, so if you do see anything, try to meet up with Greyaxe and his squad first."

Lazyhammer just nodded and hefted his hammer onto his shoulder. His thoughts bleak as he trudged through the icy tunnels leading up to the surface.

 

[Mephansteras]

Stoneguard raced into the kitchens, breath steaming in the cold air.

"Hey, Lazyhammer! The alarm bell rang a little while ago! Why are you here?"

"I know, I know. But I had to finish my drink." Lazyhammer gestured to the barrel of ale resting at his feet. "Besides, they're just milling around a ways away from the fortress. I've got time."

"No, you don't! They started charging!" The fortress guard grabbed CrowdedIrons by the arm and started dragging him to the door. "Get out there!"

"Oh! Oh, uh, yeah." Lazyhammer grabbed up his helm and crammed it on his head as he jogged down the long, icy corridor to the front gate

A few minutes later, he reached the main stairwell leading up the exterior defenses. A line of somber dwarves was walking past, carrying the prostrate form of a soldier upon a shield.

"Uh, *huff*, what...what happened?" Lazyhammer gasped as he ran up to line of dwarves.

"You're late" Growled Runeblade. "The Chaos dwarves lead a full charge against the gates. Sunshield was first out to meet them. He took down two, but that damned archer leading them took him down. We sallied out after him and drove them off, but he died before anyone could get him."

"I'm sorry. I thought I had time to get some ale before they got here."

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong." The veteran swordsdwarf looked him over with a critical eye. "And why don't you have a waterskin? You shouldn't have been down in the kitchens anyway."

"Oh, well, uh, they were out when I got my gear together so..uh.." Abashed, he looked down at his feet.

"No more excuses, Lazyhammer. The leatherworkers have been hard at work these last few months. Go get a waterskin. NOW" She pointed her sword down towards the workshops.

"Yes ma'am!" CrowdedIrons ran towards the stairs, nearly slipping on the ice as he tried to get out of her sight.

[Mephansteras]

The months rolled by uneventfully for the repentant soldier. His patrols in the northern woods had little action, with the giant ants dormant for the winter months and little else to do  but chase the occasional wind drifter that wandered through.

One day he was walking by one of the woodcutters, Fern, and stopped to chat.

"Uh, hey, Fern. Seen anything interesting around lately? Ice wolves, maybe?" He stamped his feet in the snow to keep them warm.

"Oh, sorry Lazyhammer. Nothing more interesting then a squirrel. Shame you weren't down by the gates. I heard they fought off a Sand Raider attack!" She punctuated her sentences with whacks of her axe against a pine tree.

"Sand Raiders! Scum were probably looking to get slaves, huh? Why didn't I hear anything about this?"

"Oh...stand back." She waved him away from the path of the falling pine. *crash* "Anyway, the cowards ran off after the marksdwarves guarding the gate shot a few of them. Not even the squad patrolling the area got to do much more then chase them off, from what I heard." She rolled the log onto dragging harness at her feet.

"Oh. Well, guess I couldn't have gotten there in time anyway. By the founder's beard, though, I wish I could get some real action. I always seem to miss it!"

"Well, you'll get your chance someday, I'm sure." She gave a slight grunt as she lifted the harness straps over her shoulders. "I've got to take this back to the stockpiles. Good luck, Lazyhammer!"

"Yeah, thanks for talking, Fern." He gave her a wave, shivered, and started back on his long, lonely, and very boring patrol.

[Muno syoan]

He's either extremely lucky with his timing, or extremely poor. I don't believe he used that 'I needed a drink' trick again after last time 
Good story.

[Mephansteras]

Yeah, he's pretty remarkable. All of this is, pretty much, exactly what happened in game. One of these days I'm going to get him into some actual, serious, life-or-death combat.

Eventually.

[sonerohi]

Make him the only patrol? The rest of the militiary could just be a stationary force.

[Strife26]

But that would remove the possibility of him rescuing Grayaxe!

[Muno syoan]

He'd still have the opportunity to rescue someone fetching goblin socks or whatever. Not quite as satisfying from a narrative point of view, but he might get to legendary before the fortress burns down or he dies of old age.
(Option 3: LIE! Claim that Urist Mcduferydoof is in fact the mighty Grayaxe, minus axe and the ability to fight. You could have your cake and eat it too.)

[Mephansteras]

Runeblade looked around at the soldiers clustered in the wide road indide of the aboveground fortifications.

"All right, listen up!" She banged her sword against her shield. "We've got a bugbear army on the way and some Elven traders coming in. The tree-huggers are already down in the depot, and their steel-wearing cousins have a few wagons heading in now. They should be past the gate before the bugbears get here, but I want everyone ready to get out there at my signal. With luck, the archers up on the fortifications should soften them up enough that we can mop them up easily enough."

Lazyhammer stood at the back, nervously fidgeting. His first real battle!

Minutes dragged by as the High Elven caravan slowly worked it's way along the road. Lazyhammers thoughts were filled with the glory he'd win this battle. The amazing shots he deliver, the crushing blows he'd casually parry. The look of fear on the faces of his foes as he chased them from his home!

His reverie was broken as shouts rang out from the watch tower, and the elven guards ran forward to cut off any advance on the wagons. Their voices melodic even as they shouted battle cries. Arrows sang out from elven bows, and guttural cries could be heard from the advancing bugbears.

"Damn, they got here fast! All right, move! Move! Move!" Runeblade charged out of the gateway and ran around the corner of the walls into the chaos beyond. The other soldiers were quick behind her, with Lazyhammer trailing in the rear.

As he rounded the corner he saw that the battle, just started, was almost over. Bugbears lay bleeding in the snow, with bolts and arrows jutting from their writhing forms. Others lay in pieces, hacked up by the axes and blades of dwarf and elf alike. A few bugbears still stood, but their will to fight to had already broken and many had broken from the fight and fled to the south.

Lazyhammer found himself running beside Frostblade, whose icy blue long sword was already frosted with the blood of a bugbear who couldn't flee fast enough. The dwarves spotted another pair of wrestlers trying to break for the east past an elven bladesman, and quickly rushed in to block their retreat.

"Lazy, cut south and cut them off!" Yelled Frostblade, running due east.

"Right!" He stumbled a bit over an uneven patch of ice, but recovered enough to steer the bugbears back towards Frostblade. Pumping his short legs he charged headlong into the group, bashing one bugbear with his shield and cracking another in the shin with his hammer.

Frostblade brought his blade up in a sweeping strike, beheading one bugbear before coming back around to slice the other's belly. As the dead and dying bugbears fell to the ground, he brought his blade around and pointed off to the south. "More, that way! Let's go!"
Lazyhammer huffed and hefted his hammer. "Yahaaa!" A huge grin split his beard as he charged off after the other dwarf. By this time the bugbears were in full retreat. The few survivors to make it away disappearing into the coming snow storm.

Walking back towards the stone walls alongside Runeblade and Frostblade, he felt his chest swell with pride. He may not have stuck any killing blows, but this time he'd been there. He fought the enemy, hammer and shield in hand, and they had fled.

It was good to be a dwarf!

[Kanute]

This is really good! Can't wait for more!