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[Aqizzar]

Yeah, I have several colonies(Or possibly one supercolony) of pavement ants, with entrances completely surrounding my house.  Every summer they invade the house, and literally nothing can stop them.  If someone by mistake leaves a food item on the counter, there will be literally hundreds of ants on said counter.  If you drink pop, you have to hold it.  If you set it down it will have ants in it within minutes.  It's disgusting, but as I said before, nothing stops them.  Traps, spray, we even ant-bombed it once while on vacation.  They were still everywhere when we came back.  I personally think gasoline+nest will do nicely to suffocate them, or maybe even M80+nest, if I'm feeling daring.  I haven't tried yet, though.

JESUS CHRIST cthulhu, i just bothered to read your post, and i gotta say, move.

I wouldn't tolerate that shit for a heartbeat, i'd move. i'd pawn the house off on the first sucker that'd take it and move where such a problem doesn't exist.

Yeah, I used to live in a house a lot like that.  Every single part of the house was completely infested with little brown sugar ants.  It got especially bad in the winter when they came inside to stay warm.  Luckily they weren't dangerous, if a bit annoying when they tried to be dangerous, but no food was safe.  We had to keep everything in the refrigerator, they'd even eat noodles.  Our one successful measure was to put little rings of duct tape on the table legs so they couldn't explore on them.

We tried everything just to stave them off - traps, poison, strips, you name it.  Even leaving out dirty dishes and throwing in the freezer to kill hundreds at a time didn't slow them down.  We knew we were defeated when they managed to establish a colony in my dad's car, surviving on bug splatters and coffee cups.  Who knew ants could cling to glass in 80mph wind?

[WorkerDrone]

Its to late Aqizzar. They've already obtained invulnerbility if your tales of horror are true. Theres only one way to rid the earth of the evil opression of these insects.

Collapse the tunnels! Muhahahahahahaha! Then burn the bastards! Drown them in a tide of fire!

Burn baby, burn! *Slapped* Ack!...Okay...I'm good. There are no evil ant overlords. Its all in my head. My terrible ant infested head...

[Astus Ater]

 I once had a house like that. Except the ants weren't the problem, It was scorpions. Every single day, another one got into the house. Found one in my legobox once.

Actually, there were alot of other bugs too. When we firrst hired a baby sitter, a giant wolf spider(I think) crawled onto her shoulder.  Of course, we were smart and just moved. To this day, no one lives in that house for more than 6  months.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Thank god I live in the UK.
The wildlife is pretty tame, especially in Hull.
Of course, it's not the animals that are wild in Hull...

[LegoLord]

I once had a house like that. Except the ants weren't the problem, It was scorpions. Every single day, another one got into the house. Found one in my legobox once.

Oh.  My.  GOD.  Please help whoever lives in that house now.

If a scorpian got in my LEGOs, I don't know what I'd do, at least if I couldn't get it out.

[Cheshire Cat]

during the summers here in australia sometimes the vairous houses ive lived in get invaded by these little tiny black ants in stupid numbers.

i can empathize with you people above. they are so hard to get rid of. most unpleasant experience i can recall was getting up early on christmas as a kid and grabbing coco pops from the cupboard to eat while i waited for other people to get out of bed. i poured milk on my bowlful of brown sugary goodness, and took a spoonful. it was much crunchier then it should have been, and tasted really peppery and spicy. i checked out the bowl more closely and every single last grain of puffed rice was covered in little black ants clinging on for dear life. the little bastards had invaded the boxes of cereal, and coco pops, being all sugary, had been really high on their list of targets. i was very upset.

in the pantry every exposed surface was completely black with ants, somehow being tired and excited over christmas presents i didnt notice. i nuked it all with bug spray and had to sweep up several loads of dead ants with the dustpan and brush afterwards.

also during very dry summers i see them in a little trail making their way into the drain in the kitchen and bathroom sinks for the water in the u bend, which as a kid allways struck me as funny.

other insect horror stories include my sister making porridge and eating it all, not noticing the little grubs that were living in the oats.

[JoshuaFH]

Goddamnit, I know for a FACT that i have a story that blows your stories out of the fucking water.

But remembering it hurts my brain, it was too terrible.

Oh, what the hell.

This story doesn't involve ants, if you enjoy the contents of your stomach staying in your stomach then i suggest to stop reading now.

My house was besieged by this freak cloud of flies for some time in the middle of summer. The flies were aggravating at best, and insanity inducing at worst. They'd touch and crawl on me every couple of seconds, it felt as though some horrible person was poking me every couple of seconds. The assholes were healthy too, they moved far too fast for my hand or even alot of flyswatters to catch.

Thats not the bad thing though. the bad thing is that i have a particularly old trash bin in my house, it has a hole in the bottom, and... i don't know what the hell happened, i don't want to know, but at one point, my kitchen floor was covered... in maggots.

every single fucking nook, maggots, they were crawling everywhere their little fat bodies could carry them. Unfortunately, i'm the fucking man of the house so it fell on me to get rid of them. This is by far the worst job of my life. The bug spray ran out fast, and so i resorted to stomping on them with a stray piece of cardboard. Every single stomp. POP POP POP! the popping of their bodies is far louder and more disgusting than anything, it made me want to throw up just hearing it.

Their numbers didn't stop at the kitchen, their was some POPPING coming from under the nearby frontroom carpet, and upon peeling up the carpet, their were many maggots their too. Using the fucking broom to brush them over to the linoleum for easy disposal, i don't know, one of them POPPED for some reason, and it's disgusting body juice flew the 5 feet 9 inches upward and hit my fucking FACE! Nothing to date has ever happened to me that has been more disgusting.

Properly disposing of all those little fuckers was a pain in the ass that i hope never fucking happens again.

Ok guys, BEAT THAT!

[Cheshire Cat]

my little sister, when she was in primary school, used to go stay on her friends dairy farm. they used to dare each other to eat things for money. there are so many gross things on a farm. she hate several blowflies, a bee she actually grabbed, stung her arm with deliberately to make it harmless, and... a maggot off a cowpat. for which she got $20, which was a lot when you are in primary school.

yeah, my sister is pretty hardcore when it comes to pain and/or grossness tolerance.

also, go check out videos of people with bot flies on youtube. here is one - http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=23eimVLAQ2c. honestly, dont watch that video. its gross. its so very nasty. really, dont watch it, i dont know why i am even posting it.

and how the hell did this thread degenerate into "i have a more hardcore story then you do" contest?

[madrain]

I think "I ate a bowl of ant-cereal" seriously trumps "there were maggots on the floor"

sorry, but unless you ate the maggots...

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

hah, the maggot would have been foiled by my cunning plan!
Ok, not that cunning, I'm just tall.
Actually, if it hit your forehead, it'd probably hit me in the mouth, which isn't a nice thought.
Curses, my plan fails again.

[Dakk]

Goddamnit, I know for a FACT that i have a story that blows your stories out of the fucking water.

But remembering it hurts my brain, it was too terrible.

Oh, what the hell.

This story doesn't involve ants, if you enjoy the contents of your stomach staying in your stomach then i suggest to stop reading now.

My house was besieged by this freak cloud of flies for some time in the middle of summer. The flies were aggravating at best, and insanity inducing at worst. They'd touch and crawl on me every couple of seconds, it felt as though some horrible person was poking me every couple of seconds. The assholes were healthy too, they moved far too fast for my hand or even alot of flyswatters to catch.

Thats not the bad thing though. the bad thing is that i have a particularly old trash bin in my house, it has a hole in the bottom, and... i don't know what the hell happened, i don't want to know, but at one point, my kitchen floor was covered... in maggots.

every single fucking nook, maggots, they were crawling everywhere their little fat bodies could carry them. Unfortunately, i'm the fucking man of the house so it fell on me to get rid of them. This is by far the worst job of my life. The bug spray ran out fast, and so i resorted to stomping on them with a stray piece of cardboard. Every single stomp. POP POP POP! the popping of their bodies is far louder and more disgusting than anything, it made me want to throw up just hearing it.

Their numbers didn't stop at the kitchen, their was some POPPING coming from under the nearby frontroom carpet, and upon peeling up the carpet, their were many maggots their too. Using the fucking broom to brush them over to the linoleum for easy disposal, i don't know, one of them POPPED for some reason, and it's disgusting body juice flew the 5 feet 9 inches upward and hit my fucking FACE! Nothing to date has ever happened to me that has been more disgusting.

Properly disposing of all those little fuckers was a pain in the ass that i hope never fucking happens again.

Ok guys, BEAT THAT!

You just invented popping maggots and popping maggot milk.
Make popping maggot cheese!

[DJ]

You guys should look into getting a pet lizard or something.

[Astus Ater]

You guys should look into getting a pet lizard or something.

I actually had one in that house. It bite me and ran away.


As to the guy who wanted to know who still lives there, I'm not sure. People live there for a year or so, then pass it off to the next sucker. Think it may be abandoned now.

Oh, and to the maggot guy, it might be gross, but maggots are nowhere near as bad as scorpions and spiders. At least, when your twelve.

[JoshuaFH]

Please refrain from calling me the "maggot guy".

I've never had to deal with a scorpion, and i'm kinda glad that i may never have to deal with a scorpion.

[Astus Ater]

Please refrain from calling me the "maggot guy".

Fly-baby dude? Magguy? Little-white-worm-like-things-that-go-POP-man?