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[dresdor]

I would like to begin another game of Tacticus, only this time we will utilize the Tournament format, which I don't think I need to explain to all of you. 

So I will start play, as page 1 of the Tournament Tacticus Player's Guide to Mediocre Opening Moves states I should:

I place one Carp token in the river.

[Eita]

What? Tournament rules? No one plays with tournament rules! It's either Pantshelm or Pantsheim, though I admit that Pantsheim is much rarer.

Regardless, I place a skeletal elephant token in the river.

[Yaddy1]

I place a cat in the river.

[Glacies]

I dam the river with my team of dark gnomes. According to the rules of 122 granite edition, I lose 1d5 gnomes or a cat to water accidents. Since I didn't embark with a cat, I'll substitute a dog, since they taste the same according to the Complete Revised Edition of Tacticus Vol. 26, encrusted with pike bone edition.

[JoshuaFH]

this sounds... fun... maybe, i'd like to know the rules so that i may participate. I hate to interrupt such an eloquent game with my droll, but i simply cannot find any rules anywhere.

[Eita]

I move my skeletal elephant from the river to the dam. According to the Boatmurdered Elephant Expansion Rules, all sentient beings must make a will save when face to face with any sort of pachyderm. To counter the revisions put in by the Complete Revised Edition of Tacitus -FOR REAL THIS TIME GUYS- Vol. 3: "The Third Dimension and You", I invoke the Tournament Rulebook, Nostalgia Edition.

[Glacies]

Crap. My gnomes are forced to scatter. At least there's no more water. According to the Tacticus River handbook (The green cover edition.) everyone must now endure a torrent of spam about drowning.

The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The dwarf has drowned.
The dwarf has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The pike has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The longnose gar has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The longnose gar has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The cat has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The clown loach has drowned.
The carp has drowned.
The carp has drowned.

[(name here)]

this sounds... fun... maybe, i'd like to know the rules so that i may participate. I hate to interrupt such an eloquent game with my droll, but i simply cannot find any rules anywhere.

I'm pretty sure it's like Calvinball. But a straight answer on that subject from somone would be nice.

[Christes]

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=572.0

[dresdor]

Well my carp has indeed drowned, however the presence of an undead being on the field means that I can envoke Rule 12 of the Neconidwarficon, found conveniently on page 37 (which is ripped out in anger in most editions by dwarven publishers, but in my copy is intact).

Rule 12: "That's the Last of Them";  At any point if there is an undead being on the field, all living creatures must make a roll upon any death short of complete dismemberment.  If the roll succeeds, according to the "How to Serve Dwarves" table, the creature becomes an undead with 1d6 hit dice.

I roll, and get....a 3.  So my Dire Zombie Carp is still in the dry riverbed for this turn, but don't expect that to last long.

[JoshuaFH]

Fine, lemme see,

i place 5 goblins in the cave

[Servant Corps]

I place one Drawf Fortress in the Plains and invoke the "New Civilizations Formation" rule, so as to promote the Fortress into a Mountainhome. I place the King in the Fortress too.

[JoshuaFH]

I place 4 Kobolds on the plains and invoke the rule 5 of the internationally agreed upon Kobold rules that states that all kobolds are invisible until you bump into one of them.

I set them to steal the knickKnacks from the lonely fortress.

[Yaddy1]

I place a bear in the plain. Oh it found a kobold! Ouch.

The Kobold has been struck down!

[JoshuaFH]

i invoke the rule that dresdor made.

"Rule 12: "That's the Last of Them";  At any point if there is an undead being on the field, all living creatures must make a roll upon any death short of complete dismemberment.  If the roll succeeds, according to the "How to Serve Dwarves" table, the creature becomes an undead with 1d6 hit dice."

he didn't specify what constitutes a 'successful' roll, so i'll say it's any odd number.

i roll... and get a 5

my undead Kobold wanders aimlessly