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[Strife26]

Oh oh, that invokes the "You made the reference first!" Rule from Golfhammer.

The ham sandwhich of life and death appears!
The spinning ham sandwhich of life and death strikes the !!titan!! in the !!!! ! It is struck down.
According to the Pyromania expansion, the !!Titan!! becomes a xTitanx!

[LASD]

From my custom rulebook, written by none other than the world-famous TACTICUS^TM co-creator (We all know who I mean), I follow the rule: "Damn it, Paulus, you made me read the whole thread so I could post again", which states that I must answer all enquiries about my tokens in a relatively quick fashion.

Browsing through my "TACTICUS^TM: Comprehensive Psychological Guide To The Human Mind", I came by a side note in the marginal, that states that the genders of naked titans follow the Fibonacci sequence starting from a male titan. So, first a male, then a female, then two males, three females, five males and so on...

As for this turn I add another naked Titan (token) which will cause the rules from "Reproduction in TACTICUS^TM: How? By who? And especially, why?" to come in action. The sad part about this is that because of a rather impressing typing error in that particular edition, the volcano becomes jealous of all living creatures and violently erupts.

[Yaddy1]

Urist Mcinsane has started a mysterious construction! According to the Book of Tedious Dice Rolling V5.36419274652817 (V5.36419274652818 is stupid) the dwarf may create a project without a workshop, if I get a 100 2 times in a row. Bing! Bing! Constucto time!

[woose1]

I place a bronze collosus on g15!

The bronze collusus pickes up the !!Pant-a-catapault!!

The spinning catapault strikes the cat bread and it is struck down.

According to the Book of OMGTHISISTAKINGFOREVERLOLIJUSTMAKEUPANAME v2.3.5, I make you my zombie catbread. NOW GO FORTH!!!

[Servant Corps]

Okay, so Bad*** Elf being highly unpopular amongst the Drawven population for being an Elf, but Bad*** Elf also is a Tax Collector, serving the King himself! This must mean that the King is a sleeper agent for the Elves! I now consult the Revolutionary War rules. I now place a Rebellion Token, and then roll on what form of government the rebel prefers.

*rolls*

Huh. A Monarchy. I place a Urusuper Token. Each drawf must join up either with the Urusuper or the King and then go in a tantrum sprial until one of the two tokens are killed. The other guy then automatically wins.

Meanwhile, Bad*** Elf/Tax Collector now rolls for all elves to survive the everpresistent Magma Threat, while I invest enough mandate points to ensure that the Tax Collector may renounce his Bad*** Elf at any time.

*rolls*

Oh imagine that. All the elves are dead, and the Bad*** Elf is not only dead...he's super-dead. Man, I knew this was a bad idea.

[Eita]

Two turns are left before the Doomsday clock reaches zero. The Elephant has, in the last turn, killed *rolls dice*... plus thirty-six, minus the number of the dice roll to the power of pi, rounded up.... 42 dwarves.

[Duke 2.0]

 That's. Freakin'. It.

 Using the crayon scrawl in the "FIRST first edition of TACTICUS, seriously, this was the first book guys" as a rule(thankfully, I can read crayon scrawl), I can invert one this of my choosing.

 Magma is now water. Water is now magma.

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

i state the law of ironics version 2313.54879
as water is now magma the fish must now be fire fish and no longer needing to breathe water.

i place [rolls] 56 magma carp onto the playing field.

[Paulus Fahlstrom]

Upon the magma instantly turning into water the Magma-man thinks to himself:

"Oh. That's strange. Oh well, guess I'll cease to exist also. I was getting lonely anyways. Those flaming imps never let me play tag."

And in a massive puff of steam he dies.

The imps quickly drown and due to the opposing elements clause of the Necrodwarficon found on page 42, footnote t, are entirely unable to return as undead.

In the same move however a pair of giant cave crocodiles appear (according to the previously stated rule) moving rapidly towards the fortress according to Murphy's law of Fortresses:

"In the event of something nasty occurring there are always two or three other nasty things that will happen unnoticed at the worst possible moments."

That being said, the entrance to the fortress is now also jammed open where a dwarf was struck down and no one has removed the corpse or any of the clothing.

[Yaddy1]

Uhhh... [translation] (According to the zombie player handbook I now have the power to enact the ultimate weapon, THE DWARVAN ORBITAL CANNON!!!!!!!!! Orbital death rains down upon everyone! BOOM THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS BEEN STRUCK DOWN! World gen time.)

[commondragon]

I invoke the fifty third pamplet of late joinings AND the "Complete guide to using modded creatures version 24e" to place one miniature cow farm...[rolls]..(large) on the opposite side of the world, which according to the tacticus world generation rules is 1000x1000x30.

Also according to the farms section of the "Farms r us" rules expansion, I am allowed to receive a trade token from every player on the field so far due to the creation of a (large) farm!

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

i send some of my magma carp up to the orbital cannon to add an extra +5 against dwarfs in general to the howthehell factor. it will now destroy any dwarven structure starting with itself automaticly.

[Strife26]

Strife walks over to the Ham Sandwhich (both are/ were indestructable by most means, as per Legendary Thingees). Strife then throws the Sandwhich at the orbital cannon.

The sandwhich has left the atmosphere! It will take (rolls) 3 turns to connect!

Sandwhich projectile count: 3

[Duke 2.0]

 Dang! That sandwhich had a kobold trying to steal it! You just punted the darn thing into orbit! Thanks to the Tacticus manual "Really, this is how it works" the sandwhich is considered stolen!

 It is unfortunate that due to a subsection under real mechanics, "Glitches, bugs and oddities" the sandwhich is duplicated. One is inside a kobold cave somewhere, the other is flying towards the orbital station. Thanks to the fact that there cannot be two legendaries in one world, one is considered killable. This would require an enormous feat and would likely cause an explosion for no reason.

[Strife26]

Meanwhile, in a kobold cave somewhere:

According to Murphy's Law: How it applies to Tactitus, The 2nd sandwhich is dropped in Kobold's barrel of water. Shortly afterward the water turns to magma (this is in accordance with Outrageously overpoweredrule 4: World changing effects must spread out in a shpere throughout the game world, taking one turn to reach outside of the local area, and three for the opposite side of the world).

The continent of Atlantis has blown up for some reason.