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[MagicJuggler]

Hello everyone. I'm running a GURPS RPG of Dwarf Fortress on WorldIRC (Link Here) and have a contest for YOU, the fine Players of Dwarf Fortress to Partake in.

Among the books found by the party is The Barbarian's First ABCs, a children's book meant to teach Dwarf kids how to read and to know the dangers of the Dwarf Fortress Universe. So we're looking to fine tune it; the best ones will be nominated for illustration. Ready? Go.

A is for Arrow, a weapon of woe
B is for Batman, a cave dwelling foe.
C is for Carp, which you should fear at all costs
D is for Dragon, to which many a keep was lost
E is for Elephant, who'll beat you to death
F is for Frogman, who lives in the cave depths
G is for Goblins, the cause of many an invasion
H is for Humans, whom are useful partners for trading
I is for Imp, which you should never butcher for fat
J is for Jaguar, a deadly cat
K is for Kobold, an annoying sneak
L is for Lion, slayer of the weak
M is for Magma, into which a fall is deadly
N is for Nurse Shark, a creature of the sea
Working on it

[Willfor]

Z is for Zenith, which is the wrong way to go to reach fun things.

... I wish my humor level was back to normal, because I am sucking at the majority of my attempts today.

[Sukasa]

H is for Human, who're usually good trading partners

[Roundabout Lout]

O is for obsidian, which is very sharp.

[wehtamjd92]

O is for obsidian whose use is easy to see
P is for pump to wash away those goblins
Q is for quintessence from which life begins
R is for random when a fey mood come about
S is for shields to defend you from that trout(I mean carp)
T is for trading an import part of any fortress
U is for unicorns which cause dwarves duress
V is for volcanoes a good place for forges
W is for water which is not as good as beer
X is for xenial which is how beer makes one feel
Y is for yellow the color of gold
Z is for ... ahhg forget about it lets just go kill something
(If any of this is used can I please have an honorable mention cause this stuff is hard to rhyme)

[Roundabout Lout]

Z is for zerg rush, which is exactly what zombie racoons do.

[Anticheese]

E is for Elf, your axes best friend.
Q is for Queen, the source of noble larvae
T is for Tree, also good axe fodder

[Calvin]

E is for Watch out for that giant eagle that circles your soapmaker that was the only one going to haul the wood from a cut down tree.

[Cheeetar]

O is for Orthoclase, that not quite gold stone.
P if for Platinum, a more silvery tone.

[Mr.Person]

Is it bad that I read these in the same voice as the Fun song from Spongebob?

F is for fire that burns down the whole town
U is for uranium... bombs!
N is for no survivors

ABC's for Barbarians? Wasn't that a book in Morrowind?

[Mu.]

dwarfs don't use arrows, so it seems odd to include them (plus it seems weird to refer to an arrow itself as a weapon).  i mean, they are a danger, i guess, which seems in-line with most of the other entries, but even so i'd probably change it to "alcohol," because it is infinitely more dwarfy.

to maintain what you have,

A is for Alcohol; elixir of life!
B is for Batman, a creature of strife,
...

or whatever

[BradB]

"A is for Atronach

B is for

C is for "


Apparently barbarians can only go up to C, so the author didn't go any further. 

[Sindayven]

A is for Armok, obviously.

Also, I think that it could use a bit more meter.

A is for Arrow, a weapon of woe
B is for Batman, he lives in the pits below.

A is for Arrow, a weapon of woe
B is for Batman, a cave dwelling foe.

Keeping the number of syllables even makes for a more pleasant rhyme. Although whether or not that can be considered dwarvenly...

[Boksi]

Obsession with symmetry is very dwarven. Or at least very DF-playerly.

[Neoskel]

Obsession with symmetry is very dwarven. Or at least very DF-playerly.

S is for symmetry, great now i'm gonna have to dig over there too...