My feeble attempt at an epic...
http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=4dfe70a4a40214bd71ed4f5d7fb9616a&topic=29587.0
I know this doesn't flow very well, but I can't work out why.
Having read over the first post, I'd say the reason it doesn't flow well is that there isn't much connecting it, and there isn't much detail. It reads like you laid out some basic information you wanted to get across, and laid out one of them per sentence.
To get it to flow, make up some other details to connect things better. Mention previous parts, and think about the overall message that you want to say. Think of it as a conversation between you and the reader. Rather than
Anyway, afterwards she claimed she had "good news" - I should have been wary, the glint of malice was in her ☼Crystal glass eye☼, but I never was more than a dabbling Judge of Intent - I was to lead an expedition to found a new fortress.
you might try something like
After I was caught stealing, the Queen had me brought before her. To my surprise, she said that she had good news: If I agreed to lead an expedition to found a new fortress, I would not to be punished for my attempted theft. Alas, if I was more than a dabbling Judge of Intent, I might have noticed the malicious gleam in her ☼Crystal glass eye☼. Fool that I was, I thought that the post of expedition leader would be better than a hammering, and I accepted. It was then that she revealed the other part of the deal: I was to leave immediately, without time to prepare.
And from there, you can easily go on into îton Alåthïdath sending you off with an assortment of mostly useless people. You'll notice that I ended up drawing in other elements, like leaving immediately. It seemed like the right place to put it, and you shouldn't be afraid to reorder words and sentences to see if they fit better. I've probably gone and forced my own writing style on it, but hopefully it gives an idea of how to change the structure to get it to flow better.