Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!  (Read 2433 times)

Servant Corps

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« on: November 25, 2008, 02:59:43 pm »

Quote
I just created a world, and looked at two wars on the legends screen.

The first one was "The War of Eviscerating," and consisted entirely of humans having their crap stolen by kobolds, so they raided the kobold caves, but found that the kobolds moved out before they got there. Every time, for 6 or 7 battles. Six "battles" of uncontested spelunking somehow qualifies as a war.

The next one is more humorous. Apparently, the humans, as always, got pissed at the elves always killing eating them. Except this time, they apparently got angry at one elf, who ran an entire retreat consisting of just him. So the 6 to 8 battles in that war consisted of mostly "6 humans, 3 losses, 1 elf, no losses" all the way back to his retreat, where he surrendered and was captured. I imagine that either this is the elven equivalent of Duke Nukem, or he got his hands on a secret dwarven machine-crossbow gun.

Anyone else find strange legends worth sharing?

I tuned into the Strange Wars topic because I really loved Strange Wars. When it got derailed however into off-topicness, I feel sad. I like reading about Strange Wars. So here is a new topic, starting with the OP from the first Strange Wars topic.

1) The Strange War I witnessed was the humans and the goblins waging war...over a dispute over Oath Breaking.

That's it. The Humans believed that Oath breaking is bad, the goblins said Oath Breaking was good.

Note that no oath was actually ever broken. The Goblins and the Humans just argued over if it is okay to break the oath, and the Humans and Goblins decided that they have to wage war in order to win this academic debate once and for all.

Naturally, the heroic humans defenders of morality broke into the Goblins' secret Headquaters and genocided everybody.

2) Another Strange War was a war (I don't remember what caused it) that had no battles. Whatsoever. It lasted a long time, and this war ended when the two sides signed a peace treaty.
Logged
I have left Bay12Games to pursue a life of non-Bay12Games. If you need to talk to me, please email at me at igorhorst at gmail dot com.

anyar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2008, 03:20:00 pm »

I once had a world with a goblin, elven, and a human civ right next to each other. The humans and elves both worshiped life/fertility gods, while the goblins worshiped their demon(associated with death). Naturally, the fought each other. The goblins won every battle in all of the wars, and eventually sacked all human and elven cities and murdered the occupants. Not really strange, but memorable.
Logged

Milskidasith

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2008, 03:24:35 pm »

War of disarming:

A dwarf with no arms or legs steals stuff from the humans.  Cue war. Dwarf had 23 kills to his name before being captured.
Logged

Zorgn

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2008, 03:28:36 pm »

War of disarming:

A dwarf with no arms or legs steals stuff from the humans.  Cue war. Dwarf had 23 kills to his name before being captured.

What'd he do bleed on them?
Logged

anyar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2008, 03:37:02 pm »

War of disarming:

A dwarf with no arms or legs steals stuff from the humans.  Cue war. Dwarf had 23 kills to his name before being captured.

What'd he do bleed on them?
Probably bit them.
Logged

Onlyhestands

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2008, 05:48:13 pm »

Crazy Assault indeed.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2008, 07:47:59 pm by Onlyhestands »
Logged
What if you didn't have any genitals, couldn't you just go naked as a dude (because showing your nipples is okay)?
What if monkeys created civilizations on the moon?

Skynet 2.0

  • Bay Watcher
  • Rogue AI
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2008, 06:35:54 pm »

"The Virginal Canyon of the Strapping Mist"? o.0
Logged

Cthulhu

  • Bay Watcher
  • A squid
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2008, 07:37:38 pm »

Crazy Assault ind--Darnit, you said that already.
Logged
Shoes...

Calvin

  • Bay Watcher
  • @
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2008, 10:09:53 pm »

"The Scraped War"

It started out as 20 dwarves VS 709 elves.
Guess who won.


The dwarves. (They lost 9 dwarves, but somehow ended up with 10 dwarves)

And it continued. 10 dwarves VS 573 elves.

10 dwarves vs 471 elves

10 dwarves vs 381 elves

10 dwarves vs 304 elves

10 dwarves vs 248 elves

10 dwarves vs 205 elves

And the dwarves won with a peace treaty.

Total casualties:
368 elves killed.
9 dwarves killed.

Seriously.
All of this.

Just because the elves were greedy and took all the animals from the dwarves. (Or maybe the other way around.)
Logged

Dragooble

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2008, 10:12:07 pm »

once again this proves that dwarves are better than elves.
no argument its a fact.
Logged
A creature the size of europe can occupy only one tile.

Calvin

  • Bay Watcher
  • @
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2008, 10:15:47 pm »

I HAVE ANOTHER STRANGE WAR!


"The Violent War"


Guess whaT?


There were only around 20 humans.

Them against who?

Nobody.


Thats so fucking violent man!

the entire war, HUMANS SLAUGHTERING AAIIIRRR!!!!
Logged

Jay

  • Bay Watcher
  • ☼Not Dead Yet☼
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2008, 10:20:28 pm »

"The Siege of Battles"

A: 1600 elves, all lost
D: 15 humans, no losses

...I don't need to say any more.
Logged
Mishimanriz: Histories of Pegasi and Dictionaries

Dragooble

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #12 on: November 25, 2008, 10:55:36 pm »

worst zerg rush ever?
Logged
A creature the size of europe can occupy only one tile.

CJ1145

  • Bay Watcher
  • *Insert Meme Here*
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #13 on: November 25, 2008, 11:17:46 pm »

How do you guys get these HUGE battles? The most I've ever had is 500 v 500, but that was Elves vs. Dwarves, so the outcome wasn't hard to guess.  ::)

It wasn't a war, per se, but I noticed in my newest world the kobolds had been replaced by DEMONS!!! Not the animal demons, the goblin-leading demons. THOUSANDS OF THEM ROAM THE LAND UNHINDERED!

My world is doomed.  :-[
Logged
This being Homestuck, I'm not sure whether that's post-scratch Rose or Vriska with a wig.

Warlord255

  • Bay Watcher
  • Master Building Designer
    • View Profile
Re: Return of the "Strange Wars" Topic!
« Reply #14 on: November 26, 2008, 12:50:06 am »

How do you guys get these HUGE battles? The most I've ever had is 500 v 500, but that was Elves vs. Dwarves, so the outcome wasn't hard to guess.  ::)

It wasn't a war, per se, but I noticed in my newest world the kobolds had been replaced by DEMONS!!! Not the animal demons, the goblin-leading demons. THOUSANDS OF THEM ROAM THE LAND UNHINDERED!

My world is doomed.  :-[

...My god.

HORRIBLE IDEA INCOMING
Logged
DF Vanilla-Spice Revised: Better balance, more !!fun!!
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=173907.msg7968772#msg7968772

LeadfootSlim on Steam, LeadfootSlim#1851 on Discord. Hit me up!
Pages: [1] 2