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[webadict]

Who says Cthulhu doesn't have ties to a rich family?

Because he's obviously guilty criminal scum. Would your family hang out with that kind of people? I mean, I know I wouldn't and most of the people in this court wouldn't. But, would you? I thought you were a better person than that.

[inaluct]

And who says I didn't roll Communist Judge as my personality this turn? Don't make me throw you out, capitalist pig.

[Dwarmin]

Sign me up for a witness!
My character is the totally random person who happens to unwittingly jog by, stumble upon or make love to my hot girlfriend right next to bloody crime scenes, often issuing an echoing scream right before the smash cut to the opening theme.

[penguinofhonor]

Well then, my right hand with eyes and a goatee drawn on it will be my assistant defense attorney. His name is Maurice.

[webadict]

And who says I didn't roll Communist Judge as my personality this turn? Don't make me throw you out, capitalist pig.

Criminals don't believe in communism OR capitalism. They believe in taking from everyone, including the government. And, they think they're better than the working class.

[Squeegy]

Before we start, I'd just like to say that I firmly believe Cthulu is guilty and it'll take a hell of a lot of convincing to make me believe otherwise.

[Aqizzar]

What the hell was the case again?

[penguinofhonor]

Not sure. All I know is that it better be pretty exciting to match the incredible amount of eccentricity practically flowing out of this thread.

[Dwarmin]

Come on baby, its my birthday! 
....
OH MY GOD! A MANGLED CORPSE! Someone call the police! 

-SMASH CUT-

Just practicing for me role.

[penguinofhonor]

I want to practice too.

Me: As you can see, the defendant is obviously innocent. In fact, one of our witnesses is guilty of the murder. Maurice, fetch the key piece of evidence.
Maurice reaches down and pulls out the key piece of evidence.
Maurice: Here it is, sir.
I show it to the jury and they gasp.
Jury: Not guilty! It's really <insert second most suspicious witness here>!

[inaluct]

Well, I just realized I should probably PM the witnesses and ask them to start.

So, I just PM'd the witnesses and asked them to start.

[Aqizzar]

Speaking of witnesses, are you all actual people who saw the crime, or are we going to have any of those shifty "professional witnesses" who just show up to discredit evidence?

Also, the Jury demands more John Fiedler.
_{Somebody had better get that reference.}

[Dwarmin]

Hey I found John Fielders mangled corpse in the one of the court house bathroom stalls while I was jogging by! It was both shocking and slightly tacky! YEEEEEEEE!

-SMASH CUT-

[Cheeetar]

He was a dear boy. Better than his parents, the drunkards. And his brother! Oh, he didn't like my cats. I showed him, didn't I Tibbles? He'll like cats much more now that he's seen what dogs do.

[Dwarmin]

Cthulu has a celebrity endorsement. This should in no way taint the jury.