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Author Topic: You killed my father!... Meh  (Read 2374 times)

Assassinfox

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You killed my father!... Meh
« on: November 22, 2008, 06:18:04 pm »

Has anyone else noticed that, apparently, people raised by goblins still keep in touch with their original family?  I went to a goblin fortress and had a conversation along these lines:

Me: Tell me about your family.
Elf: I had a grandmother named Elfy McElf.
Elf: She was killed by You in Stupidforest.
Me: Gee, this is awkward.

The only more bizarre part being that they were totally okay with me killing their relatives. o_O

Jay

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2008, 06:22:20 pm »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
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Creamcorn

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2008, 09:41:31 pm »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.

It dosn't make sense either way you look at it.

Though it's still funny! I have to try this now.
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E-mouse

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2008, 04:43:01 am »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
Or caring, at least.

SCREW BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, WE HAVE BABYSNATCHERS
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2008, 12:16:27 pm »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
Or caring, at least.

SCREW BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, WE HAVE BABYSNATCHERS
THEY LET ME STAY UP LATE!

What i want to see is a war where a snatched human kills his own father.
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socially_inept_butterfly

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2008, 04:05:03 pm »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
Or caring, at least.

SCREW BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, WE HAVE BABYSNATCHERS
THEY LET ME STAY UP LATE!

What i want to see is a war where a snatched human kills his own father.
Even better, if we're able to take control of already existing characters in adventure mode at some point. So you can make the snatched human kill his father, then maybe marry his mother and rule the kingdom a la Oedipus.
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2008, 04:18:21 pm »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
Or caring, at least.

SCREW BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, WE HAVE BABYSNATCHERS
THEY LET ME STAY UP LATE!

What i want to see is a war where a snatched human kills his own father.
Even better, if we're able to take control of already existing characters in adventure mode at some point. So you can make the snatched human kill his father, then maybe marry his mother and rule the kingdom a la Oedipus.
I'd like that purely for the role-playing potential it offers. Playing as a prisoner and having to escape the gobbos would be another good one.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2008, 12:47:42 am »

Or playing as a snatched kid and ruling the goblins
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flabort

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2008, 12:15:05 pm »

so that's why there was an elf child in that goblins tower...

strangly, it was the only living bieng i found there. i got bored after killing her and jumped off.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2008, 12:19:00 pm »

strangly, it was the only living bieng i found there. i got bored after killing her and jumped off.

Little Elf Girl: oh, hey nice man, do you know where uncle gobbo went?

-little Elf Girl has been struck down-

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flabort

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2008, 12:20:43 pm »

well, i couldn't talk to her, she attacked me first!
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Cheeetar

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2008, 02:17:07 am »

Knowing who they are and what happened to them recently =/= knowing them.
Or caring, at least.

SCREW BIOLOGICAL FAMILY, WE HAVE BABYSNATCHERS
THEY LET ME STAY UP LATE!

What i want to see is a war where a snatched human kills his own father.
Even better, if we're able to take control of already existing characters in adventure mode at some point. So you can make the snatched human kill his father, then maybe marry his mother and rule the kingdom a la Oedipus.
Something like:
Me: Tell me about your family.
Elf: I had a grandmother named Elfy McElf.
Elf: She was killed by Me in stupidforest.
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Vactor

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2008, 10:39:06 am »

not quite the killing of your own father, but here's a story of a dwarf killing all of her decendants:

I found this dwarf when i was talking to a local goblin high priestess who told me how all of her relatives had been killed by the same dwarf (I later found out the priestess had also had her nose smashed by Besmar before she emmirgrated away from the fighting):




Besmar Greatclasp the Radiant Cradle of Persuasion.

A dwarf Born in 21 to Olin Leadcrypts, and Ablel Luredtour.  Her mother Olin wandered the wilds, and her father was a gaurd at the dwarven town of Standardbury.  Her mother killed the Ettin Mebil in 8, but died fighting the giant Sas Drivenbrave when Besmar was 9 years old.

She then lived with her father in Standardbury, where she became a ranger at 12 years old.  The following year she married Likot Bridgenations, a 12 year old farmer. They had their first child at age 14, who was abducted a year later.  Their daughter managed to escape the next year, only to be abducted again at age 7, afterwhich she grew to become a ranger for the goblin forces.

Their second child Logem Flewboard was born in 36, abducted at age 12.
Their third child Kib Whipden was born in 42, and abducted at age 2, and killed in the goblin town at age 13 by a Cyclops's rampage.
their fourth child Lorbam Waspwall was born in 45, and abducted at age 9, settling in the goblin town. She died in 57 to Degel Swordrasps the Curious Bend of Relics while invading Standardbury.
Their fifth child Vabok Dangledknives was born in 47, and abducted at age 1, later became a babysnatcher for the goblin tower.
Their sixth child Sibrek Guilddawned was born in 48, and abducted at age 7, grew up, married, and was eventually murdered by a goblin.
Their seventh and final child Geshud Bastioniron was born in 49, abducted at age 2, escaped at age 10, only to be abducted again at age 11 by his older sister Vabok who had become a babysnatcher.  Both of them were later killed while invading Standardbury by Degel Swordrasps the Curious Bend of Relics, the same who had killed their older sister Lorbam 10 years earlier.




In the year 48 Goblins began attacking, Besmar's father was shot and killed, and her husband Likot shot two dwarves who were the grandchildren of dwarves the goblins had abducted years earlier.  Besmar killed two goblins in the battle.

The attack the next year claimed her husband's life, as well as the life of Standardbury's leader Atir Sealcourage, who was shot and killed by Besmar's eldest daughter who was part of the invading army.  Her daughter was herself shot and killed by Aban Princessoar the Violator of Oracles in the same battle. (Aban later became quite a war hero himself, with 77 total kills, eventually retiring into a liason position and dying of old age in year 98)

Following the death of Sealcourage, Besmar was  elected the leader of Standardbury in the year 50.   She lead the defense of Standardbury against the goblin attacks for 99 years before finally being captured and imprisoned by the goblins in 149 when they finally sacked and destroyed Standardbury.  She lived out her final years at the goblin tower uneventfully before dying of old age in the year 171.
A bit more from the Legend of Besmar...

Besmar's Grandchildren.

Turns out three of her children lived long enough to have children of their own.

Daughter of Vabok Dangledknives,  Stozu Gloriesspider was born in year 60, marrying and becoming a gaurd at the local goblin tower at age 13.  That same year Degel Swordrasps the Curious Bend of Relics smashed her upper body, leading her to give up her career as a guard and take up farming at a different goblin town.  She was shot and killed by her grandmother Besmar the next year.

Son of Sibrek Guilddawned, Stozu Battlenightmare was born in year 62, He married at age 16, worked a few years as a fisher, before becoming a babysnatcher.  He managed to kidnap 7 children in his career, and had his ear smashed by his grandmother Besmar in year 84.  He became the leader of the goblin civilization in year 88, he was shot and killed by Besmar in "The Gory Seige" of 94. He had 3 children.

Sibrek's other son, Aslot Incestchained was born in 64, married at age 14, becoming a ranger and gaurd, struck down by Besmar in year 82.  He had 3 children.

Geshud Bastioniron managed to have a son, Osnun Vilejaws in 68, who began hunting beasts at age 12,   He was ambushed and killed by a Cougar named Somberrushed after 3 years of wandering.  He was one of the few worshipers of the demon who had died in the initial attack against Standardbury.


Edit: just checked the whole family tree, Besmar killed 6/7 of her great grandchildren, the 7th murdered by a goblin,  10/10 of her great-great grandchildren, and 5/8 of here great-great-great grandchildren, (2 were killed by invading humans, one died to a human guard while baby snatching)  Whereupon she finished off the last of her lineage right around the year 130.
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Assassinfox

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2008, 06:44:21 pm »

You'd think after the first four or five children got abducted, she'd start keeping a better eye out for babysnatchers.

Popolop

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Re: You killed my father!... Meh
« Reply #14 on: December 07, 2008, 12:28:43 am »

Has anyone else noticed that, apparently, people raised by goblins still keep in touch with their original family?  I went to a goblin fortress and had a conversation along these lines:

Me: Tell me about your family.
Elf: I had a grandmother named Elfy McElf.
Elf: She was killed by You in Stupidforest.
Me: Gee, this is awkward.

The only more bizarre part being that they were totally okay with me killing their relatives. o_O

I don't know why, maybe because I'm tired as hell or it's the Advil I took, but that is funny as hell and is getting sig'd.
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Quote from: Assassinfox
Me: Tell me about your family.
Elf: I had a grandmother named Elfy McElf.
Elf: She was killed by You in Stupidforest.
Me: Gee, this is awkward.
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