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[toast]

geez i cant imagine what is going on here. i have the worst aritifacts in this fort i have ever had.

i have it all: short skirts, crowns, bracelets, a floodgate, hatchcover...etc.

one weapon. no armor. 4ish bracelets. 4ish crowns.

most of the stuff is gold, decorated with various wood and bone. most of it is 100-200 thousand dorfbucks.


what on earth is going on here? it sucks. bloody useless dwarves cant make anything worth while here. any ideas why they wont make some cool stuff?

[Duke 2.0]

 Note: Funny engravings can be had with an noteworthy skirt.

 But yes, artifacts are a crapshoot. If you had a fortress filled with weaponsmiths, you might have a higher chance of weapons artifacts, or armorsmiths for armor. Or cheesemakers, for artifact cheese.

 Mmmmm...

[Untelligent]

Actually, that floodgate and the hatchcover can be very useful for driving up the value of your nobles' rooms.

[Teeto_K]

As Untelligent suggests, ANY (b)uildable Furniture is fairly worthwhile for noble-room value boosting. It makes the set up a no-brainer. A sure-fire way to keep your King or Queen or other high-rankers from being "utterly traumatized by the pretentious _____ arangements of a lesser.", and consequently, lessens the flow of demands.

Look at your artifact values, pick ones at least 10k to 20k apart from each other, and place them in the rooms of nobles, with lower ranked ones getting lower valued artifacts.

Use them as inspiration for the architecture in your noble housing - Perhaps the noble with a hatch cover gets a multi-story vertical arrangement, and perhaps the one with the flood-gate gets a pool of water next to his room for no good reason _{(Rather, an evil reason, heh.)}

[Magua]

Let me peruse the winners of my current artifact list...

Ubas Sakrith, "The Scream of Blazing".  Rhyolite amulet, encrusted with rhyolite, menacing with spikes of rhyolite.

Mengsut, "Lashedbled".  Tin statue.  Encircled with bands of tin. 

Lirukavuz, "Violentmines".  Rhyolite mug.  Encircled with bands of rhyolite.

inalkan Taron Ramtak, "Lulltired the Yells of Executing".  Iron bracelet.  Studded with iron, image of toads with iron.  Surprisingly awesomely, also an image of Lulltired the Yells of Executing on it (in iron, of course).

Nudenuker, "The Regal Wave".  Pig tail tunic, decorated with pig tail, menacing with spikes of pig tail, image of cedars in pig tail.

Fushurumoz, "Cleansedrampaged".  Perfect brown zircon.  Encircled with bands of (wait for it) brown zircon.

Gatinganad Tosid Edod, "Pantherspecial the Armors of Boredom".  Resin opal idol.  Image of another artifact in resin opal.

And my favorite, Thalalner, "The Imperial Lakes".  Raw adamantine hatch cover, encircled with bands of (this kills me) raw adamantine.

My dwarves have less imagination than a kobold's second right finger.

[Jisaan]

Note: Funny engravings can be had with an noteworthy skirt.

Engraved on the wall is a masterfully designed image of a dwarf and a rope reed short skirt by Urist McPervert. The dwarf is raising the rope reed short skirt.

...Sorry, somebody had to do it.

[Doppel]

Nudenuker, "The Regal Wave"

Says it all.

[LegoLord]

I had an artifact floodgate once.

Once.  I used to turn off the waterfall at the entrance to my communal dining room.

[Neoskel]

Nudenuker, "The Regal Wave"

Says it all.

Mad bombing at a whole new level.

[Foa]

Some over-stoned dwarf murdered my only mason, then made a stone quern, then refuses to except the mason skill up, and later that quern gets stolen by a kobold.

[sneakey pete]

what on earth is going on here? it sucks. bloody useless dwarves cant make anything worth while here. any ideas why they wont make some cool stuff?

Oh, i imagine they they'd be worth a lot to the dwarves if the game was complete. Artifact quality bracelets? i mean dam!

[Foa]

All they do is snooze, booze, cruise, lose, ruse, and just plain live in a dull blues world.

We need to see a livelier color, like green, or brown, maybe some green aqua.
As in just plain bitch around, and get into a harpooner ship, travel down the river, then go to the ocean living off of fish, then leave the world map.

[BurnedToast]

If you want better artifacts, have all your peasants and dwarves will no mood skills (there is a list on the wiki, I think) do a single weaponsmithing or armor smithing job. The dabbling skill will be the default for a mood if they have no other skill, and thus you will get lots of those moods.

I don't usually bother, because it's a pain in the rear and I just don't care that much anymore but it does work.

[woose1]

I dont know what your talking about

I get tons of FUDGEAWSOME artifacts, like "SyrupDragon", A gold mace that menaces with spikes of obsodian.

Also, personaly, I think it's cool when urist goes out and kills a kolbold and makes a legendary floodgate out of his bones, only for me to learn about it a year after he is killed.

I love this game 

[LegoLord]

I dont know what your talking about

I get tons of FUDGEAWSOME artifacts, like "SyrupDragon", A gold mace that menaces with spikes of obsodian.

Also, personaly, I think it's cool when urist goes out and kills a kolbold and makes a legendary floodgate out of his bones, only for me to learn about it a year after he is killed.

I love this game 

You know, I think a gold mace might be fairly effective.