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[Zarium]

This was so dam funny I had to make a post about..

So I'm playing fortress mode, I pick a absolutely wonderful spot. Tons of metal, jewels, etc. Magma tube, brook, warm climate. I get there, and I have three pages of fish, nothing more dangerous than a wolf around, and a nice stone road right through the middle of the map. I start to move my stuff over to set up camp and as soon as my dwarfs move about half a map away and then the monkeys steal all my food! Freaking hilarious, of all the things that could go wrong the monkeys rapidly swiping my food would have never occurred to me.

[THLawrence]

1) I have three pages of fish
2) nothing more dangerous than a wolf around
3) of all the things that could go wrong the monkeys rapidly swiping my food would have never occurred to me.

2 and 3 contradict with 1.
Three pages of fish aren't harmless. One fish can rip half a dozen dwarves apart. More if the dwarves aren't champions.

[StrayCat]

Fish, being more likely than not not a carp, SharkScourge The Killer of Souls.

But yeah, draft your axedwarf whenever you see rhesus Macaque about, and station his hindquarters right on by the stairway down into your fort or by the wagons if the food isn't moved in yet. Those devious li'l critter's'll starve you out better than any siege if you're not careful, but they bruise like the banana's they'd much on without dwarven food and they scare amazingly easily. It's a real blessing when we get tossed enemies we can handle

Not, of course, that I don't like goblin sieges. I giggled up to the very end, watching the merriment and slaughter, wishing I had some marshmallows or popcorn as I played Wound-Tap every half-second to see who just disemboweled what and who's going to be tantruming next.

Moral of the story: Spank the monkey before the monkey spanks you.

[R1ck]

Yeah, I think that the monkeys will keep sieging you ever summer until you kill them all off. They're pretty weak though.

[BurnedToast]

They are pretty weak, Urist Mcpeasent with no skills or stat bonuses at all can usually wrestle them to death with no problems and a single war dog can usually devour a large number.

Be careful though and don't use any important dwarves, every now and then one will get lucky and gouge an eye out or something. I've even seen them swarm and choke a dwarf to death but that's pretty rare.

[Axe27]

THREE PAGES? HOLY JESUS OH MIGHTY BATTEN THE HATCHS SHUT THE DOORS WE'RE PREPARING FOR NUCLEAR WAR SON!!!!!!!!!!

Dude, Carp will fuck you up. FORBID THE RIVER.NOW.

[StrayCat]

THREE PAGES? HOLY JESUS OH MIGHTY BATTEN THE HATCHS SHUT THE DOORS WE'RE PREPARING FOR NUCLEAR WAR SON!!!!!!!!!!

Dude, Carp will fuck you up. FORBID THE RIVER.NOW.

Dude... Not all fish are carp. There's... Something like forty other creature-level fish that aren't carp. Some ARE nasty, granted, but there's a lot that aren't. Here's a creature list of all sorts of things that aren't carp or humanoids that'll come out of water.



Sea lamprey
Various sharks
Great white shark
Frill shark
Spiny dogfish
Spotted wobbegong
Whale shark
Basking shark
Nurse shark
Shortfin mako shark
Longfin mako shark
Tiger shark
Bull shark
Blacktip reef shark
Whitetip reef shark
Blue shark
Hammerhead shark
Angelshark
Blue shark
Common skate
Manta ray
Stingray
Coelacanth
Sturgeon
Conger eel
Milkfish
Cod
Opah
Giant grouper
Bluefish
Ocean sunfish
Swordfish
Marlin
Halibut
Great barracuda
Bluefin tuna
Longnose gar
Tigerfish
Pike

[Neoskel]

Most ocean fish won't bother you, the only reason river fish are so aggressive is because of the way animal behavior is handled in game. Non predator animals want to run away from dwarves on sight, but if a dwarf manages to get next to them they'll lash out. Now the fish who are right at the foot of a drop (i.e. at the edge of a river) can only see in a diagonal upwards line out of and away from the water so they only notice dwarves when they're right next to them and lash out. The dwarf will then probably do something stupid like charge (or rather leap) at the fish and then get mobbed by all the other fish bunched up together that all just freaked out that there's suddenly a dwarf right next to them.

[Untelligent]

Hippos are pretty nasty too. Not only are they friggin' huge, but they'll breed like crazy if you don't kill them off with a platoon of marksdwarves in the first year or two.

The hippo kids take a while to mature, but there's a lot of adults who will continue to spawn more river demons until you slay them.