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Author Topic: Mean Little Men [Succession]  (Read 14813 times)

Linthar

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #60 on: November 18, 2008, 09:59:54 pm »

I've finished my turn. I'll have the writeup and save up in a day or two. It was a rather weird turn.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #61 on: November 18, 2008, 10:08:17 pm »

My turn's a comin', it'sa gettin' here. i can almost taste it!
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Sarasti

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #62 on: November 19, 2008, 03:44:30 am »

I'm not far behind you, if there's still a fort left when it gets to me.
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Linthar

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #63 on: November 19, 2008, 09:20:47 pm »

Here's my turn

Diary of Linthar

4th of Opal, 238: I have been chosen leader of Bakedfools, a great honor that puts me with the likes of Mad Oslanraluk who is dead. Ok that doesn’t sound so great, so how about
Bull who is also dead. Ok so the fort had a rough start. There’s still Dresdor and Ironvalley, who are both dead. In fact the only former leader alive is the self proclaimed evil genius Legolord. Clearly there is an conspiracy at work here.
   Ok don’t panic here, just take a good look at the fort. At least I have this nice bastion of dwarven design to rule over. …. Who the hell designed this place. There’s a swordsdwarf trapped in the moat, we have seven mason workshops, a ballista pointing at nothing, a bizarre collection of waterwheels and pipes over the river and a flooding basement. This is just great. I’m already marked for death, with a madhouse to rule over.
   I need to think clearly here. Ok if I keep everyone occupied they can’t kill me. Lets see, stop all partying, clear-cut every tree, build a giant tower, that should keep people occupied. Now I have to see about the flood

9th of Opal: It turns out there are two floodgates to prevent the fort from flooding ominously attached to a single lever, and not just any lever my masterpiece The Calm of Wilting. There is no conceivable reason to have such a trap down here. It is another conspiracy.

20th of Opal: A gem cutter has been acting suspiciously secretively of late and has locked himself in a workshop. I need to keep an eye on him.
 
25th  of Opal: The gem cutter was just making a flask. Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out what caused a wrestler to randomly take a swim in the moat jumped in water?


18th of Obsidian: The moat is not filling properly because there is to much room for the water to spread out. I’ve walled off a couple of the dry spots to ensure the rest of the moat fills.

25th Obsidian: I’ve unveiled my new master plan to keep myself alive. The new jail. The cells are precariously balanced over open air, and I’ve picked a trustworthy and strong member of the military Calren for the position of sheriff. Now no dwarf would dare kill me knowing the punishment.


14th of Granite: The elves have arrived to trade, upon which time I discovered that despite this being a dwarven fortress more then four years old in age, no one ever bothered to make a single stone craft. I assembled a few odds and ends and was able to buy a tame wolf, but this situation can not stand. I will find the dwarf in charge of the conspiracy to prevent trade and have him punished.

19th: of Granite: The Swordsdwarf who I originally rescued from the moat is back in the moat. This is the second inexplicable case of dwarfs swimming in the moat. Something is fishy here.

8th of Slate: The conspiracy to undermine Bakedfools continues with a unknown Dwarf arranging for a valuable steel shield to be stolen by a monkey.

9th of Felsite: Migrants have come, a whole 20 of them. I do not know if I can trust them.
 
10th of Hematite: What a day it’s been. I was awaked to shouts that the humans had come, and not as a caravan. Instead they came to siege. I ordered the military to defend the only entrance to Bakedfools. But when the first squad of humans advanced, I learned that some unknown conspirator had walled off a section of the moat, and the humans could walk over that wall, ruining my entire plan.
   Luckily for me the humans didn’t think their own plans through. Their horses were not meant for war and went running despite the protests of their riders at the slightest sign of battle. After a few chaotic hours all the humans had ever died or fled, but at the cost of three of the military, and two more that were wounded.
   Of course since a siege is not chaos enough, during this time we also had to deal with two kobold thieves, and one of our miners entered a fey mood.
       

13th  of Malachite The moat continues to be a gathering ground for conspiracy, the latest sightings being of a single dwarf and two cows. The miner has finished his work, and created a floodgate.


16th  of Galena: Its worse then I thought. The cows are using the moat as a Shortcut, and the monkeys have joined in as well.

26th of Galena: I have done it. For the past 6 months I have been overseeing a secret project, a shelter where I can hide, and no others can enter. And it is now complete. I have enough food and drink to last years, and the only entrance is blocked by a raised bridge which only I control, and  artifact door I found lying around. No miners can reach me either. The entire shelter is surrounded by a going down to the depths of the earth. By the time they realize what I have done it will be completely full. And even if they bypass my defenses I have a final solution. I moved the doomsday lever that would flood the fort into my shelter. If anyone tries to reach my I will flood all of Bakedfools. Against such a threat no one will dare act. I am safe.


Journal of Calren, Captain of The guards

26th of Galena: Since our leader has gone and cut himself off from the world, I have assumed control of Bakedfools. After our I am in charge of enforcing the laws here, I’m a natural fit to lead.

10th of Limestone: The dwarven caravan has arrived. I was looking through the stockpiles for goods to trade when I found a  DRAGON BONE CROWN . Bakedfools has never been visited by a dragon. Where did we get a dragon bone crown?


21st of Limestone: The moat has become a popular shortcut among the population. I have reminded everyone of subsection IV of Article IX of the dwarven transportation code, that clears states that this practice is illegal, but no is listening.


20th of Sandstone: The moat around our late leaders shelter, has had an interesting effect. The vortex caused by the water falling to the lower levels has carried 6 monkeys and a cat to their deaths.

24th of Sandstone: I have taken a final solution on the moat problem. I have blocked all staircases leading out of the moat. I am merciful so I left the one ramp out untouched.

26th of Sandstone: One of  the blacksmiths has entered a strange mood and seized a forge. I need to go tell him interfering in the production process of a fortress is highly illegal activity.

8th of timber: A whole seven migrants bothered to make the journey to Bakedfools.

10th of Timber: The blacksmith finally completed his work, a very excessively decorated  golden animal trap


15th of Timber. There are three dwarfs and two caravan guards trapped in the moat who refused to use the ramps. I’m feeling merciful though. If they insist on using stairs to escape I’ll let them if they prove their worth. I’ll have a staircase dug at the end of a submerged passage. If they are strong enough to swim that length they can live. If not they can die for breaking the law.

15th of Opal: All three native dwarves have starved to death in the moat. The caravan guards are still alive though.

1st of Granite: My time as leader is up as proscribed by Dwarven Law. I’m off to pick some poor fool to lead for the next year.

save
map
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LegoLord

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #64 on: November 19, 2008, 09:42:04 pm »

The legacies of my turn:

1) the useless ballista.
2) the swordsdwarf in the moat
3) my strange quarters
4) causing future human sieges

My moat!  You've ruined it!  WHY DID YOU STEAL MY DOOR THAT WAS MEANT FOR ME!  (I planned to use the artifact door but ran out of time).  There's only room for one evil maniac in this here fort'  Although I have to say, seeing what remains of what I did is cool (even if it is the farms and workshops).  Especially since I did a huge overhaul of the design . . .

By the way, how is ol' LegoLord, Evil Genius?  Any where close to a legendary siege operator?
And nice job on that siege and the jails.  Jails.  That gives me an idea.
« Last Edit: November 19, 2008, 09:51:37 pm by LegoLord »
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Linthar

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #65 on: November 19, 2008, 09:50:34 pm »

By the way, how is ol' LegoLord, Evil Genius?  Any where close to a legendary siege operator?

Not even close. Sometime during Ironvalleys turn I believe, the catapult was set to not fire, and I didn't notice until my turn was almost done, so you went a long time without any practice.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #66 on: November 19, 2008, 11:04:54 pm »

i swear to god, when i booted it up i looked at this fort for like 20 minutes trying to make sense of it all, and i'm still trying. this is gonna be fun.

i don't have the graphics set that you guys were using so my pics will just be in the standard DF graphics.
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IronValley

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #67 on: November 20, 2008, 05:42:36 am »

The whole fort was a complete mess.... who the hell actually dug out the first tile?

If it wasn't for the damned boblins I would've moved the entire fort downstream....


Also:

The pumps down the stream were supposed to dam the brook, making the moat/etc fill faster and reduce lagg.
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #68 on: November 21, 2008, 06:46:11 am »

wth is my time limit again? i don't wanna go over accidentally.
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Linthar

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #69 on: November 21, 2008, 07:40:39 am »

wth is my time limit again? i don't wanna go over accidentally.
According to the rules you have a real world week to finish your turn, and your turn is one ingame year, so your turn should end at the first of next spring
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #70 on: November 21, 2008, 09:04:00 am »

Hey Linthar, i was just hum-hoing along when i decided to take a close look at your 'shelter', and i must say, its the most miserable piece of crap i've ever seen.

i'm not sure if you actually INTENDED for your dwarf to actually be able to live in their, but although he has exactly 50% of the whole fort's alcohol supply (a whole fucking NINE units), he atleast has a water supply, his food supply however, woulda killed him. he has some food barrels, but those woulda ran out eventually. I saw he has a personal farm and the farming labor was turned on for him. this had one fatal flaw however, absolutely NO crops were designated to be planted on that farm! i turned on plump helmets for it outta the goodness of my frickin' heart, i hope your happy.

also, he had several bins lined up to be built for some reason. lord knows what you planned to be stored in them.
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Linthar

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #71 on: November 21, 2008, 11:33:08 am »

Hey Linthar, i was just hum-hoing along when i decided to take a close look at your 'shelter', and i must say, its the most miserable piece of crap i've ever seen.

i'm not sure if you actually INTENDED for your dwarf to actually be able to live in their, but although he has exactly 50% of the whole fort's alcohol supply (a whole fucking NINE units), he atleast has a water supply, his food supply however, woulda killed him. he has some food barrels, but those woulda ran out eventually. I saw he has a personal farm and the farming labor was turned on for him. this had one fatal flaw however, absolutely NO crops were designated to be planted on that farm! i turned on plump helmets for it outta the goodness of my frickin' heart, i hope your happy.

also, he had several bins lined up to be built for some reason. lord knows what you planned to be stored in them.

Yeah it did not turn out quite as planned. The field was originally set to allow farming, but I disabled it after 50,000  planting canceled no seeds messages to ensure that I didn't drive futures leaders mad and decided that my dwarf was just to crazy to actually have a workable survival plan.

Oh and the Bins. I actually don't have the slighest clue of what I was thinking when I lined them up to be built. Guess the insanity of the fort was getting to me.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 11:40:55 am by Linthar »
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #72 on: November 21, 2008, 11:54:43 am »

Journal of ChaoticJosh II

alright, this is my first couple days here at Bakedfools, i sure as hell know the punishment now for staining the King's carpet with rum, and its being forcefully carried to this godforsaken place in order to replace its horrible leader who has apparently gone insane. I can see why.

first impression of Bakedfools? crap, utter complete crap. the previous rulers should be ashamed of themselves for doing as badly as they did. Hell, i feel bad for being their leader now, even though i didn't have anything to do with it. I lived around community leaders and the working class my whole life, so i know something about being a leader, the previous rulers musta not known anything at all. No one is specialized AT ALL, everyone is juggling five or six jobs at once, and although we do have some legendaries, they're all preoccupied with dumbass mundane tasks that they aren't suited for instead of strutting they're stuff in their specialty. For example, we have a perfectly good Legendary Bonecarver, Tirist I think his name was, and i found him making rotten-ass stone crafts instead of converting the apparently full bone pile into useful objects. i'm still sifting through the populace and assigning the useful dwarves to useful things and the non-useful to hauling jobs. I find a disturbing number of dwarves are performing masonry and stone detailing jobs, why? I guess i walked in on a giant frickin' tower thats being built for some reason.

first off


stockpiles are abysmal when i arrive, all the alcohol is almost gone, and i've asked around, and they're apparently isn't a professional brewer ANYWHERE! I can't fucking believe this, I have a random milker appointed to the invaluable position of full-time brewer ASAP. We have farms, but they're a mishmash of small plots strewn all over, all of them growing inferior crops when i can plainly SEE that we have whip vine seeds, which are just plain better at producing good alcohol. Boy oh boy, i'd murder an elf and his cousin for some sun berry seeds, hell, i'd murder an elf and his cousin anyway.

what do we have here?

this, i suppose, is the stockpile room, just below the surface. I wish i could meet the person that designed these rooms, so i could punch him as hard as i can for making everything so strewn about and inefficient and for putting walls everywhere. You can't see it in this picture, but further below the bottom of the picture, the only thing that is stopping a flood of water from entering the fortress is a fucking tree.

Now, this is a joke.

This must be a joke, theirs a plethora of workshops here, none of them useful. The asshole that made this room had an arbitrary wall fetish, he must have, i can't find any other reason why he'd arbitrarily cordon all the workshops off from eachother. did he think INDUSTRY would happen here, because its NOT! this a disgrace to hardworking dwarves everywhere, i'm doing something about all these walls, and i'm putting these dormant workshops to good use!

Some battles must have transpired, because lookie at what i found!

they're some Gobbo thieves and human hostiles with they're horses locked away in these cages. I'm not fucking sure what happened here, the dwarves have always been friends with the humans, but if i know anything about POW's, its that we don't let them fucking stew in their cages, building there concentration and biding their time, i say we make a fucking example of them for even THINKING to attack us.

I have a artificial island to be dug,

with the plans to maroon them on it, and then have a newly appointed marksdwarf take potshots at them as a proper hazing into the military.

Well, crap...

FIVE crossbowgoblins appear across the brook and instantly shoot a random planter dead. From the looks of it, we have some Champions around here, so lets test their mettle shall we? i'll get back to you in awhile journal, theres a battle to be fought!
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LegoLord

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #73 on: November 21, 2008, 06:58:26 pm »

"Don't touch those workshop walls!"

They are essential for protecting against strange mood dwarves that go berserk!  I just didn't get the chance to install walls . . .
They normally work very well in my other forts, especially with stockpiles under them.

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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

JoshuaFH

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Re: Mean Little Men [Succession]
« Reply #74 on: November 21, 2008, 11:32:48 pm »

what fantasy land do you live in legolord? cause in my world, dwarves don't go berserk fast enough to warrant such extreme measures. in fact, the moment i realize i can't meet a moody dwarf's demands, i'll build a wall around them. so they can be encased in their insanity. its rather easy you see.

EDIT: I also noticed that one of the walled off workshops is a KILN, i don't recall a moody dwarfy ever needing one of those.
« Last Edit: November 22, 2008, 12:20:42 am by chaoticjosh »
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