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[Boksi]

Yes, this is a very fun story. Great writing.

*Goes back to planning a metropolis*

[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT: Distractions -

And now, it's time for ...
The Continuing Adventures of Lokum Nudenrigoth, Count

28th Granite
Ugh, are we there YET? Can't these lowerclass bastards carry me across this Armok damned desert any faster? I don't pay them to drink. I don't pay them to carry me either, or at all while we're technically outside the boundaries of an economy driven fortress but I guess it just sucks to be them because they didn't fall into a barrel of purple dye when they were six.

Hmph. Fikod, my tax collector, has told me a lot about this fortress. It was started by another one of those tiresome "escape the island" types. As if I didn't have everything I need right here. Damned if I know how the mad bastard managed to create so much wealth in a sandpit with little more than a bucket and spade. Something about magma, dreadfully hot stuff. Well, she'd better have an appropriately lavish throne room ready for me or I'll tell the hammerer to hammer her armourer in a arm, ah a glamourer ham murmur wouldn't squeal as beautifully as the defiant underclass and I can't feel my tongue anymore.


(Say it ten times quickly. I dare you.)

1st Slate
What. Is this. Disgrace?! The Mad Scientist has known for months that I would be coming and my chambers aren't even fit for a mayor! I demanded an explanation, and all I got was that their dwarves had been "really busy" with "no idlers", BAH, what could be more important than my comfort?! The only thing they'd managed to build was twenty or so bedrooms for lowerclass who couldn't even afford them to be assigned them! Not that I care about those folk, of course, but the moment they had finished looking around most of them were whisked off underground to collect sand or some nonsense and I'm left standing around with little more than a few microline statues to gaze at.

My lovely countess wandered off to dine, and I had to nearly strangle some sorry looking, foul smelling cook to arrange a meeting with this place's city manager. Her apparent uncare for my higher position was downright offensive, but at least she was able to grasp the basics of the economy I am now implementing. Typically, this didn't last any longer than a few minutes before she snapped and ran off joyfully screaming about shopping and discounted footwear. Tch, women. This fort will do much better with a man such as myself in charge.

[Author's Note: At this point, I decided to set my population cap to 120. My FPS is still around 70, but I have enough dwarven labor now when I assign jobs intelligently and I'd rather leave managing eighteen million dwarves for another fort.]

12th Slate
Oh what a GREAT day today is! My KIND and CONSIDERATE and NOBLE RESPECTING working class have finished constructing all of my entourage's chambers and even tombs! They are OF COURSE of EXCELLENT quality and I'm not even SLIGHTLY PISSED about them. THIS IS SARCASM. SARCASM SARCASM SARCASM. Except the bit about it being sarcasm, that part WASN'T SARCASTIC. As a form of punishment, myself and the other nobles have already begun drawing up mandates. For example, while trading, Warla is no longer allowed to export goblets. That ought to hit the bastards where it hurts. The masons still insist that "imma statuing". Hmph, at least there is some amusement in watching one dwarf attempt to haul a cage containing dozens and dozens of animals across the fortress. It literally took him a week while everyone else was running by doing whatever the hell isn't decorating my tomb. You know what? Fuck you. You can't export any crossbows either. I'll tell my countess to mandate that one.

22nd Slate
I spoke with the hammerer today during my fortress inspection. He was, get this ... happy ... with his dwellings. The weakling has given in! This isn't about the value of studies anymore, we are conducting a WAR against the lowerclass and that dwarf has chosen the coward's way out. Only one class in this fortress can truly be happy, and I will make those dwarves arbitrarily SUFFER. The mechanics have already started plotting my downfall. The chambers of myself and my countess have several expensive traps, just waiting for me to sleepwalk into them. My countess has forbidden the export of tin in response. Warla told me we don't have any tin, but I don't trust her. She may be a noble now, "acquiring" items from The Mad Scientist for her clothing shop, but she is not of our birth.

As for the results of the inspection, they are disappointing. The miners have been digging a second level under the aquifer for some time, but found very little and are ready to give up. The magma powered workshops have been turned off for now too, I can only assume so there are idle dwarves to pamper me.

6th Felsite
My tax collector is, I am ashamed to say "quite content". As if that didn't indicate his delving into insanity, he's had his personality read by an article of clothing. A Hat, I believe, and the results were that he was a risk taker, thrill seeker, and very friendly. He collects tax for Armok's sake!

11th Felsite
The respect in this fortress is appalling. I spend MY valuable time coming out into this sweltering sandpit to transform it into a thriving city, but when I ask for just one shield some wannabe wizard gives me what appears to be a useless, oversized copper plate. Hmph. Unfortunately he "technically" completed it, so I can't have him hammered ... yet.

16th Felsite

(Zebra ambush! AAAAAAAAAHHH!)

What did I tell these dwarves about sleeping on MY time? But noooooo, they're too "tired" they need "energy" and now they won't shut about about their "sore backs". FINE. If they must spend their time idle and hallucinating, and if The Mad Scientist's pills are only depressants, I'll let them dig an extra sleeping hall. It will be south of the underground rooms, well out of my way, and with a dozen or so spare or cheaply rented beds.

26th Felsite
AHA! Warla has mandated that three tin items be produced! I KNEW those dwarves had it hidden away somewhere, even if I am told there's already one furnace operator supposed to be in jail for not producing any. They have adequate defences, yes, but their sense of justice is horribly ignored and none of them actually seem keen to start throwing each other in cages and doing the extra work themselves. Worse is that even my lovely countess has been turned. She told me last night that the dwarves were trying really hard with what they had and had produced enough. It was that bastard calling himself Elfbane that fooled her, staying up late at night in her chambers "talking", what is that. I don't even know, but I am the last true noble in this fortress. Even if my only allies are a strangely evil cat and his girlfriend, they will never satisfy me with this subpar treatment! I WILL -

Oh, look at that beautifully encrusted weapon trap in my tomb, filled with expensive goblin weapons. With everything else it's almost enough to call it a mauso...

DAMN YOU LOWERCLASS BASTARDS! YOU WIN THIS ROUND!

A Time In The Life Of: ClearWater, Fisherdwarf

1st Hematite
I heard today that the Count and the rest of the nobles are finally satisfied with our fortress, inability to conjure tin aside. With that over, the magma workshops are being powered up again for various uses. I've been unbothered by their arrival for the most part; catching fish from our makeshift stream has kept me occupied, out of the way, and regularly paid. Some dwarves aren't doing very well, I've seen them sleeping outside on the sand in the barracks. That annoyed Newb a little bit, although every so often I hear a thump, groans, and Maggarg's laughter. The general mess of the situation irritates me, but with Maddy distracted in leadership struggles, a mountain of glass stored and forgotten, and some dwarves desperate for work just to feed their family ... I can use this in my favour.

I've had this idea for a while, but just recently I've had help from that exhunter in the military to finish the design. She says she'd love the view from the barracks. I haven't presented it to Warla, I can only imagine what her reaction would be, but she's busy running five clothing shops now and I'm sure she wouldn't want to be bothered. You see, I want a pyramid. For fishing. The design is seven by seven squares at the base, including a floor each for processing the fish, storing the raw fish (with a jetty), and my sufficiently furnished bedroom. The roof will be another three levels high, and hollow.

Alright, you idling dwarves over there! Yes, you. Go fetch me some obsidian, I need to test a few things. NOW. Oh really, well I hear the prices of Cookie's roasts are soaring and yeah I thought you might.

4th Hematite
... Alright, now take the middle wall first and they should ... okay, that works. Deconstruct everything. I need someone to dig out the area a bit too. Somebody bring me Bahl, with the furniture completed and mines left alone he should be free, and programmed to be obedient. Once that's done, you can start constructing one level at a time like I showed you. Also, you all suck and as direct result I'm cutting your original pay by a quarter. Or I guess your children could haul your wife's corpse into a coffin because you were too lazy to do an honest day's work. Take it or leave it. That was too slow, I'm making it a third. I wouldn't open your mouth to argue if I were you.

10th Hematite
Hey, I just remembered something. I wanted my pyramid built from glass, not obsidian. Alright workers, tear it down and start again! Ya, rly. Do I need to start fear mongering again? Good.

Hmm, a human diplomat and merchants have arrived. I'm busy, damn it. Then again, do we even have any trade goods that Warla isn't guarding like a hound in her corner of the fortress? Oh of course, I can see the first few dwarves coming out with plump helmet roasts. It's always fun to watch the trading while I'm fishing. The tax collector would charge me thirty eight value for that particular roast, but you know Warla will call it nine hundred and thirty when merchants are around. We have quite an unusual exchange rate.


(And to your left we have four of the sandcastle's noble chambers, complete with two lazy nobles.)

16th Hematite
Well the conversation with the diplomat was certainly brief. Aside from the greeting and farewell it seems the human came all the way out here just to give us a halfhearted and half sarcastic compliment about the "pleasant place you've carved out" in the sand. I think he just wanted to get away from the all vomit outside.

An ambush! Oh, there are no ranged invaders, the traps will take care of them just fine. Wait, who cancels what. Damn it, migrant rangers. Don't hunt. [SFX: Splat.] Anyway, I can see Warla making the trade now. She's taking a few different metal bars, a wagon-full of wood, another wagon-full of empty cages, another wagon-full of barrels, some leather and cloth, a handful of iron bolts and some turtles. The usual, and WHAT THE HOLY FUCK SHIT ARE MY WORKERS DOING IN A CONGA LINE OUTSIDE OF THE DEFENCES GET BACK YOU RETARDS. Alright, which of those nobles screwed up the forbid settings? You know I'm going to bring this up later when I stage my takeover of their chambers.


(Conga conga conGA! Conga conga conGA!)

20th Hematite
This is why I want a pyramid that I can hide in. Just after our military had marched out protect any more suicidal dwarves from the goblins another amush showed up with a crossbow and starting shooting the hauling dwarves. Our two marksdwarves were yelled for, but one of the humans managed to shoot the goblin down before anyone was hurt.

2nd Malachite
Some wood burner was possessed, and started demanding a few thousand or so things from Maddy. I could possibly care less. In other news IT SURE IS A GOOD THING THAT GREEN VOMIT BLENDS IN WITH GREEN GLASS HUR HUR masons.

7th Malachite
I was tactically deploying audio observation on my workers this morning and heard one of them mention that our workshops had actually managed to run out of copper. As long as the glass I'm using keeps being replaced, it doesn't bother me. We still have a few others ores left if we need them, and there are plenty of barrels, arrows and the like for now anyway. Something else we have plenty of is goblin snatchers. In the last two days we've found three of them caged at our entrance. It's a shame I don't trust them enough to use as slaves. Maybe if I pretended we could and tricked any future rivals into trying ...

17th Galena
That moody dwarf was only just remembered today, and the last item he needed produced. The end result was a valuable, but boring, idol. Pfft, my pyramid will be complete soon and that will be something to marvel at!

Excerpts From The Mad Scientist's Voice Log

7th Malachite
Excuse me, Countess? Would you please stop changing the price of goods every two seconds. These arbitarily changing variables are making any attempts to reliably study the supposed benefits of your economy impossible! Nevermind, she's left. Ugh, this is supposed to be a scientific community but very few people have been taking orders from me since the nobles arrived. Warla is running her shops and slowly being, if I might use the technically incorrect term, corrupted into a noble herself. Urist has spent more time chatting up the Countess than helping like he normally does. Bahl obeys any orders, I really need to update his software. Even Steinunn is too overjoyed with owning even imaginary gold to be of use. And someone in this fort has been encouraging distractions all over the place.

Damn it, you signed up to partake in this experiment, you've even elected me mayor, carefully follow every one of your instructions!

17th Galena
ATTENTION DWARVES. If you are going to assume the idiot Hammerer has the right to make meaningless mandates, then as the elected mayor so must I, and you therefore have to listen to me. I mandate an item constructed from lead! Aha, good day Hammerer, I didn't mean that first part, honest, please don't rape me with that thing.
"I am not evil, Maddy. I just came here to punish dwarves and drop MC Hammer references. And I'm all out of MC Hammer references."
But you haven't made a single MC Hammer reference yet.
"I am ... not very familiar with the works of MC Hammer."

Oh, um, hello furnace operator whose name I can't recall. Have you completed my mandate already?
"Yes. Here is your one lead block. Sorry, got to run, Clear needs more glass stockpiled."
... Fuck you.

8th Limestone
"Hahaha! This is wonderful! Just how I imagined it! Oh, well done workers, your pay is not getting cut today!"


(I really, really wish dwarves could actually fish from a different Z level.)


(The roof isn't that exciting really.)

ClearWater! Just what have you been building out here?! Do you even know how long I've been waiting for the spare dwarves to build the goblin prison?!
"Too late, you silly scientist! While you sat in your office wasting your time with strongly worded letters or inventing a virus scanner for Bahl I'VE been out here cracking the whip! All your dwarves are belong to me, and thanks to your foolish attempts at democracy and an economy I seized power and have emerged with a creation so grand it overshadows the very nobles themselves!"
No, ClearWater. This is not your position, and I'm going to have to ask you to abandon it NOW.
"Abandon it? Now why ever would I want to do that when this was all thanks to YOU Maddy! Without your stockpiles or invention of the credit card none of this would have been possible. And now ... I AM UNTO A GOD!"
Heh.
"What? Do not mock me mortal, I can DESTROY YOUr bank account!"
Ah, poor ClearWater. You may have brought your twisted dreams into existence, but you failed to take one thing into consideration.
"HA! You cannot surely think me so gullible Maddy?"
The economy allowed you to enslave the working class dwarves, ClearWater. And you would have gotten away with it. But you pushed to hard. You reached to high. And now, as soon as you try to move into your pyramid ...
"No. No, it can't be."
... yes, thanks to the very economy you abused you can't afford to rent it!
"You ... But ... I was so close ... and ... nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

9th Limestone
Maddy: "Well I hope we all learned a valuable lesson from these last few months, so from now on we can trust my authority and start working peacefully alongside each other."
ClearWater: "I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to manipulate my friends to become unto a god."
Count: "And I shouldn't be so selfish when we're really all working towards all our race's interests."
Elfbane: "And I thouldn'd hath dried to make oud with a coundess with diamond dongue pierthings."
Count: "Wait, what?"
Elfbane: "Nebermind."

[Haika]

Curses! XD foiled already

[Mephansteras]

Those who go into the pyramid can occasionally hear a ghostly voice say "Wow...like, totally awesome triangle-thing! I'm, like, so haunting this place!"

[Strife26]

Such a long post. So tired. I'll read the second half tommorow, but the first part was excellent. I look foward to the count meeting an angry zebra sometime.

[Jackrabbit]

You are fantastic. One day I will actually read the goblin tower part.

[OneMoreNameless]

Those who go into the pyramid can occasionally hear a ghostly voice say "Wow...like, totally awesome triangle-thing! I'm, like, so haunting this place!"

That ... is such an awesome idea that it is now canon. Crystal is going to haunt the pyramid so much in the next chapter. In fact, Kibeth was a fisherdwarf, he can too. They will make a perfect ghostly comedic duo. They can have an embarrassing neighbour the Invisible Stalker (of Maddy, natch) Kodak! HILARITY WILL ENSUE.

[Strife26]

Great update!

[Jackrabbit]

Great twist that she couldn't rent the place. Can't wait to see the haunting

[Mephansteras]

She died failing to create an artifact. What dwarf could rest in peace after that?

[Jackrabbit]

A dwarf goes in on a dare.

"spooky"
Do you have turtle shellllllllllsssssss?
"huh!"
I, like, totally need some turtle sheeellllssss
"AAAARRRGGGHHH"

[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER THIRTY NINE: Time Skip Super Power Hyper Recap Activate GO! -

An Eternity In The Death Of: Crystaleyes, Glassmaker

8th Limestone
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Look at the little glass pyramid, it's soooooo kawaii! I totally call dibs on haunting it?
"WHAT?! Fuck you Crystal, it was built for fishing! You couldn't gut a fish if your death depended on it. I was a fisherdwarf. If anyone should be unliving in that building it should be me, yarr."
Aww, why are you so MEAN Kibeth? I was a glassmaker but I, like, didn't get to make any glass at all and this pyramid is built from, like, glass! It's totally thematic.
"Yarr, well, I suppose we could share it. Maddy will be building a glass prison soon, you can move out then. Kodak told me earlier she's been muttering about mechanism production for the cages."
Awesome! We can totally be roomies and share hauntings and spend twenty minutes dealing with the fallout from an honest mistake and make puns about dwarves acting suspicious and ...
"I now regret what I have suggested."

10th Limestone
Haunting is, like, so fun! Kibeth just wants to float around the workshops and stare longingly at fish but, like, whatever? Every time a dwarf comes up to the table to eat, I, like, totally appear in front of them! Then, like, they're all screaming and dropping their meal and stuff? I totally have a collection of bones now!


(I don't even know what that's all about. O_o)

So, like, anyway, the totally awesome magma furnaces have been making glass blocks and Portals (which, like, I totally plan on referencing all subtle, like!). Some masons built, like, a staircase up above the fortress to where the prison will be? But it's, like, not very safe so the military are all standing around it, even those two cute marksdwarves. I was gossiping with Kodak and he said that Maddy plans on having like, an office as an entrance from the fortress up to fortified walkways above, and a lever for releasing the goblins (eww, why would she want to do that, they're so grotty!). There will be ten, um, "solitary confinement" like whatever they are and enough cells for two hundred and seventy prisoners, like, wow? But even though it's a desert and stuff they have to smooth stones and cut trees down and everything first. Warla is on a, like, total warpath bitching at every idle dwarf to go help out, she's kind of scary and I'm dead.

14th Limestone
Hee hee, some other dwarves, like, came to trade but haven't even unloaded yet while our dwarves, like, totally have! But soon they do, and Warla trades many roasts for the usual supplies and stuff, it's, like, not that exciting? She did buy some flour and sugar which, like, must be to bake a cake. Or was that a lie?! (I totally told you so, ell oh ell!)
"Yarr, it is a great shame that a ghost's head would go through a desk were they to try bang it."

3rd Sandstone
Oh my god, it is going to take, like, soooooo long for the glass building to be done, they need way more glass blocks? The military all, like, went inside and locked the entrance for now. There is, like, plenty for them to do though since the Count wants shields and the tax collector wants a billion throne and there is, like, clothing being mass produced and some dwarf bought a shop (I am soooooo jealous, all the nice things this place has now) but can't afford any stock, hee!


(I need to make dwarves vomit ON CUE so I can colour the floor without using more glass.)

11 Sandstone
Hey, like, the hammerer is totally more experienced now. That, like, doesn't bode well? I went and floated around for a while but didn't see any beaten dwarves. I guess altering the prices of goods just makes you, like, TOTALLY MORE AWESOME now. Oh, and there was some planter with a fey mood. He used, like, lots of stuff but only made, like, a single left glove? But asymmetry is totally in this season. And it had an image of itself on it, that, like, itself had a smaller image of itself on it. MIND = BLOWN oh my god.

Fluffycuddlekissesjoy Speaks

24th Sandstone
Tch, I tire of this sandpit and it's noisy dwarves. If they're not building a million annoying traps that I have to step around they're constructing some stupid glass monstrosity or banging away in their furnaces. How is a cat supposed to sleep?! I've had enough of this. I'm going to talk to Honesttrustingpromiselove and get out of here. Ah, Honest. Truly, she is a worthy mate for likes of me. We laugh at dwarves together, take long strolls on the beach, fuck each others brains out ... If only the dwarves here weren't already so insane that our mind control is ineffective against them, this might have been a suitable palace.

Honest, my darling. How are you?
"Aww, how's my little cuddlypie."
I told you never to call me that, woman!
"Heh heh, you're so cute when you're angry."
Tch. Anyway, aren't you sick of these dwarves? I think ... I think it's time we moved out of my fortress and found a better place to breed our empire.
"Oh, Fluffy. Don't you mean my fortress?"
... What?
"Didn't you know? Aha. We've been together for just long enough by the Ominous Omniscient Council Of Vagueness' charters to count as wed. As I am the only member of the Council here, I hold the power to divide our properties between us. And I chose this sandcastle for my own! You can keep the dwarves and get off my land, hmm?"
You ... you ... GOLD DIGGING BITCH!
"Ahahahahahaaa, foolish little kitty!"
I am in despair! The discovery that I am not the only evil cat has left me in despair!

26th Sandstone
Stupid lousy Honest, stupid lousy sand, stupid lousy dwarves, never should have trusted her, should have picked up on the theme naming, mutter mutter. This sandpit is MY kitty litter, damn it, I'll show her! I'll show them all! Where's my scratching claw sharpening pole?

Oh and that's just GREAT. Way to add insult to injury, dwarves. Training another seven war dogs for your military. Like a single war cat couldn't take down  a dragon. (... With enough time to breed.) I'll freeze time with catsplosion if I have to clone myself! Yeah, you'd better spruce up my fortress with some more doors and statues. You'd better consider building a stone floor over all this sand sometime. You'd better keep having a stupidly large larder of roast goods to attract mice for my consumption. You'd better rant to Warla about not having enough work. Wait, I don't think that last one is really helping. Oh whatever. Angst, over. I'm going to go tear up Cookie's bedsheets and NEVER TRUST ANOTHER LIVING BEING EVER AGAIN WWWWWWOOOOOOEEEEEE! (Okay, that was the last of it, I swear.)

7th Moonstone
The dwarves have started mining again, with their usual idiotic planning.


(Randomly zooming lines across the screen IS faster than counting out exact squares. I think.)   

They've even managed to strike Cinnabar almost straight away. Urist almost threw a party before The Mad Scientist reminded him that it wasn't actually good for anything except red floors, and everyone knows dwarf blood is much better for that purposes.

25th Moonstone
I found a bloodied obsidian short sword and a shield in the barracks today, and actually got my hopes up for a few seconds. Sadly, it was only Ruins with a light wound on her hand. How she has fallen since our last fortress, ha, skulking around in secrecy here. I've tried to give her away many times but most of the dwarves just run in terror when they see me, which actually I could quite get used to if Rika and her stupid mutts didn't nearly eat me last time I tried assassinating that annoying Maggarg.

3rd Opal
GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY! Bahl found more copper. We're all going to be okay now! Of course the moment it was announced the entire fort's idlers started running down into the mines to haul it, Sarek at the front. I think he's addicted to sniffing the dust or something, which would explain a lot.

21st Opal
The roof hatch has been opened again and the glass prison is being worked on. The masons are trying to finish the outside wall first now, so the military can go and slack of as usual. They barely spar anymore, Rika certainly hasn't reached elite yet. Maddy installed a lever for opening everything too, made from an artifact mechanism. She hasn't brought the cages out yet. I'll tell you what, I am staying far, far away from that prison the moment she does. Some dwarf was possessed and made a decorated backpack lately too, but nobody cares about that anymore. Except Crystal anyway, but I think she was just sad that the leatherworker ignored her "Like, boo!" when he ran up there to grab bones.

There's been a lot of births lately, just in case this sandpit didn't have enough useless dwarves running around what with the "nobles". A leatherworker canceled sewing an image to seek her new infant. Look, she literally just fell out of you, how hard can she be to find?! If I were her I'd just keep sewing and too bad if the baby gets a permanent cloak. She'll be a little dwarven superhero. The dwarf who canceled destroying a building? Should have destroyed the baby, save everyone the hassle. The countess who canceled drinking? NOBLES ARE VAMPIRES. Constructing a building? Save on glass! Storing an item in a barrel? Instant crib! It's not rocket science, dwarves.

And now, Elfbane Chaotika narrates a time skip...

Ahem. Deep breath. Okay, here we go. QUITE SOME TIME, a considerable amount of construction, many stunned sleepers outside in the sand, a small period of food stockpile organising, one failed goblin ambush, one idiot marksdwarf somehow straying far outside of defences and being attacked by the other half of said ambush some somehow defeating them alone and unharmed, half a dozen or so idiot snatchers now sleeping in cages, LOTS of vomit, five migrants who didn't realise applications to join our team finished sometime last year, one useless but surprisingly undemanding noble (a philosopher, apparently), eighteen thousand or so price changes, a crapload of masterpieces from Cookie and Sarek, twelve more war dogs for Rika (30 total now, which is probably enough no matter how much she's saddened seeing caged animals) ...

*GASP*

... somewhere around fifty five frames per second, twenty nine cages linked up by Maddy because she has the highest skill and nobody else thinks it's actually a good idea to have lever that effectively self destructs the laboratory, three times being informed there is nothing to catch in the western ocean despite Kibeth's ghost making an appearance to point out a school of herrings clearly swimming around further out, one trading session with humans, one with dwarves, six rock instruments for a band that went nowhere after Waylon refused to accept my awesome name "Microline Nightmares", one election of Warla just in time for a diplomat because nobody trusts Maddy to do it even though she swears she's been taking her medication, six shop sales (including ClearWater snatching a clothing store to compete against Warla), one secretive mood ...

*GASP*

... several mandates at least one of which was STILL impossible, one war dog death of old age (Kibeth's old pet), two legendary marksdwarves, three staircases purely for the purpose of rescuing masons, one female cat thrown into a magma pit by Hat (just to see if he would do it. It was cruel, but hilarious, and may or may not have been karmic), one "holy shit the Count is actually working by deconstructing something actually wait that pretty much sums nobles up" moment, fifteen more redundant cage traps and something like a dozen microline discoveries LATER, the prison -

And that's all we've got time for folks.


(Maddy invents antigravity!)


(Everything is connected to one lever. When I get bored of this fortress, it is my plan to pull it.)


(This is where the marksdwarves patrol now.)

[Strife26]

You've got love the 'decorative' pools of vomit in the prison. They really set off the green walls, don't you think?

Is glass the best thing for prisons though?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

someone wants me assassinated :<

[OneMoreNameless]

Is glass the best thing for prisons though?

In-game functionality and resourcefully, yes. Thematically ... hell yes.

(Swear to Armok I have the next chapter played, planned and half written. It's awesome how much I fail at my first attempt to use power, but manage to save face by justifying it storywise and pretending I planned it all along.)