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[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Plots -

Lady Ruins Practises Her Dramatic Monologues

1st Felsite
Having seen the goblin ambushes, heard the migrant's recounting of the attack, observed Asno's reactions and given what I already know of this place, I have deduced the following:

Previously, this was the most sacred ground for the goblin society. It was watched over mostly by high religious goblins, with human slaves under careful observation to maintain the area. This I knew. Recently, however, something happened. If a human was at fault they would have been killed, and tension and accusations would have seen conflict; this was an error by goblin hands alone. Perhaps they grew impatient of waiting, or too curious about their god. The goblins either found hidden or created themselves something so powerful, so dangerous, that they could do no more than contain it and flee, if even that. Anything less could have been destroyed or moved and it would take nothing short of the threat of genocide for the goblins to leave this site.

So, they fled in secret, not affording the other races to even know they had left. But Asno rebelled. He returned to the dark fortress with enough slaves to keep it running and begin studying, hoping to wield, whatever is hidden here now. When we first arrived here Asno was desperate for us to leave alive before the goblins realised anyone remained. But we lingered too long. Migrants came, and goblins followed to find two running fortresses, both of which must be stopped before we release that which they would surrender their god to keep hidden.

Whatever it is, I WILL find it.

But first, our own fortress must survive, which seem increasingly unlikely in the wake of our newbie dwarves. Just recently I had to free one of our peasants who had fallen into the animal pit. Of course, as soon as the door was opened dozens of animals (and one OTHER dwarf) poured out. Is it really so hard to not fall into holes?


(Every time you fall into a hole, Armok kills spawns a puppy.)

At least Fatman has taken it upon himself to act as a go-to dwarf for any migrants. At first glance he would just seem to enjoy bossing someone else around for a change, but he has been treating them very well and introducing them socially rather than merely inducting them into their one workplace as The Tax Collector has done. Fatman would be a useful ally, but I have nothing yet that would persuade him to join even my less secret causes.

19th Felsite
Producing viable trade goods is proving more of a problem than anticipated. The stone crafts that have been produced are worth a mere ten value each, regardless of type. Ivanor has suggested an advanced crafting technique he dubs the "mug spam", and it is now in progress. If nothing else, I found that Kragus "forgot" to bring up his skull totems when the elves were here, so there is some value in those to trade for essentials such as wood. For a while Kragus was having difficulty keeping up with butchering and crafting bolts for the hunters. Kornash volunteered to take over butchering until he is able to do the same for living foes, and that combined with idle dwarves being order to collect refuse from outside has led to a surplus of bones and bone bolts. Vidar has been order to produce several bone crossbows, although by now he is more competent as a seige operator than anything else. Kragus is now alternating between producing bolts and crafts. His latest goblin skull totem is ... satisfying, but the miasma and flies around the place are annoying everyone.

In other productions, plain robes are currently being sewn from the cloth we purchased. Our current clothes have wear left in them, but they'll be there when we need them. Unlike our hunters, who have a bad habit of falling asleep away from the fortress. I cannot fathom why they find it so hard to return when tired.

9th Hematite
Summer has arrived, and disappointingly little of note has happened since the goblin ambushes. Since acquiring a stockpile of crossbows and bolts we have begun readying our barracks for a military. Archery targets, armour stands and the like. As most of our dwarves have jobs at the moment I would prefer to wait until our next migrant wave before recruiting and training begins in earnest. Otherwise production has been moving along steadily, as well as decoration. The Tax Collector's intents of official records on the dining room walls have been amusingly thwarted by such images as mountains, flies and mango trees. Although it surprised no one to find at least one engraving depicting The Tax Collector's ascension to the leadership of our fortress.

This morning I had interesting encounter with a dwarf named Nym. She approached me while I was drinking, and asked why it was that our group had chosen to settle underneath the dark fortress once it had become clear that Asno would allow us to leave freely. In return I ask why she had chosen to leave her home and live in such a dangerous location. She wouldn't say, and all it took was a smile before she left thoughtfully. A better answer might have been distrust, and dreams of toppling towers; Nym less so than others, but ... all dwarves are bastards.

Fluffycuddlekissesjoy Speaks

10th Hematite
Despite a period of blissful quite the thieving scoundrel struck unexpectedly. He called upon his lesser minions to kill and wreck havoc around the outside of MY fortress. He's distracting MY dwarves from their important duties of palace construction and beautification. And worst of all, he thinks he can just walk in and threaten to take away all that I have been working so hard towards attracting in these last months.

He must realise this means war.

I am talking, of course, about that new cat that dared to migrate his dwarven slaves into my fortress. If he had come merely to humble himself before me, or even to offer a partnership in our goals, I MIGHT have been able to accept that. But when he pads his way in, casually grooms himself outside my canine slaughterhouse and laughs that "All the kitties 'round here must be too busy orgasming by my presence to come greet me in person, am I right?" there will be serious consequences. Even that I might have pardoned in return for an apology and half a dozen of his slaves, but not after he fully introduced himself. His name? Clawsschemingslayerrage. No justice can exist in a world were there exists such a name while I am forced to endure the dubbing "Fluffy". I would kill him and take it for myself, but after the last face lacerating incident (Ivanor had it coming for attempting to feed me with the invisible, neverending supply of dog food this fortress requires) Ruins declawed me, so this must be BATTLE OF THE MINDS. My original slaves against Claw's new. The disobedient against the unskilled. The few against the meatshields! This will be GLORIOUS war of dwarves to be recounted to kittens for generations to come!

At least, it would be if Fatman didn't insist on befriending everyone. Even my best efforts to trap the migrants outside with hostile goblins failed. Tch, Claws and his pets will be dealt with yet. In the meanwhile, humans. They have arrived with caravans, and wish to trade. I've had Ruins let them in. We don't have much, but there are still few crafts in the stockpiles, some gems that have been sitting around for a while and I'll have them trade their handwear. What kind of a wimpy dwarf wears gloves? What are they, afraid of breaking a nail?

16th Hematite
Skulking vermin. No, I'm talking about kobolds this time, although I would be surprised if Claws had organised that too. One of the migrants insisted of yelling the announcement to everyone (with a helpful reminder of which foods gave a short burst of energy for running away). I can see, like, one kobold wandering around on the other side of the map.


(If you squint, the battle kind of looks like a handgun.)

Okay, so maybe five trained in wrestling and spears that are actively attacking the dark fortress. Hmm, can all kobolds bypass traps, or is that just a thief thing? Whatever, I can just have the bridge retracted if they live long enough against Asno to get close. Meanwhile, The Tax Collector has calculated our total items at 2960 value. I nudge a few things around to subliminally encourage him to swap them for a dozen or so wood logs, a few cages (occupied by dogs and a horse), a few barrels (some with drinks), a spare pick, a bronze long sword (Kornash has been requesting to train with one, I hope he stabs himself with it), a few bags and a few different meats for my Extra Chunky Gourme Feline Platter. The traders had plenty of food, even some carp meat, which had a rather amusing story behind it (by which I mean it's a wonder they weren't selling dwarf meat alongside it).

We could really use their iron bolts and anvil too, but they're too expensive ... at least, until Ruins came up with the suggestion of selling THEIR OWN CLOTHES to pay for it. She quickly explained she meant the spare clothes they'd taken from the dead dwarves, human guards and some suicidal merchant but not quite quickly enough to avoid the HORRIBLE image of Vidar taking off his pants ... my palace for a brain bleach!

That migrant, Strife I think his name was, yelled about another kobold ambush (and an equally loud warning about fat on our new meats), despite them still being some distance away. Of course, the animal caretaker would take that time to run out into the open to fetch some dirty, discarded clothing, only to be interrupted by the kobolds. And then the dyer. AND the woodburner. Idiot dwarves.


(Guess which way that dwarf is about to flee. Go on, just guess.)

Now they're getting too close for comfort. Ruins orders everyone inside to get them all back to the fortress. The merchant guards take the opportunity to chase the closest kobold, but actually look more worried the DWARVES will steal their goods the moment their backs are turned. Anyway, the kobold is killed, the mechanic slowly returns back to the fortress and the bridge is eventually retracted and dwarves allowed outside again. Suddenly, the mass stupidity of the dwarves trying to work out how to get the discarded clothing with the bridge retracted literally causes time itself to painfully grind to a halt.


(Fluffy's threat of catsplosion has just been trumped.)

Somehow, I still end up with just over 6000 value from silk socks and whatnot. The Tax Collector buys a few metal bars, a couple of ropes, another pick, dye, fifty bolts, an anvil, more meat and flour and some cloth. The humans were ecstatic. Hauling follows, and the food stockpile actually needs to be dug further out to fit everything in it. I deem the trading adequate and tell the caravans to leave whenever they're ready.

27th Hematite
"Sibrek Likotavuz, Ranger has been struck down."
Okay, so not EVERYBODY was inside when I closed the fortress down. Too late now, I guess we'll have to kill those puppies instead of hunting for meat, mwahaha.

5th Malachite
One of Claws' mechanics has been taken by a secretive mood. At least this time there weren't any difficult demands for outlandish, precious materials such as WOOD or maybe even ROCK. (Honestly, these dwarves ...) He just grabbed a handful of random crap from the stockpiles and began working. Meanwhile in the workshops, Ruins has finished constructing a clothing industry. Everything WOULD have been ready to produce dyed robes from Fatman's farms, if our dyer hadn't suddenly gone missing. Did I say suddenly? I meant she's been locked outside, hungry, thirsty and lightly wounded on her lower right arm since the kobold ambush. The bridge is opened for her to return and the merchants to leave. Naturally, near half the fortress start skipping and singing outside to collect clothing and whatnot. DAMN IT dwarves, there are kobolds out there, you're just going to get mugged!

... Hey, whatever happened to those stone mugs anyway? I don't think they were traded.


(This is what happens when you forget a repeating order.)

10th Malachite
The mechanic has completed an artifact mechanism. Ivanor seems rather jealous, but the rest of us don't even know what the heck it's supposed to DO. Hmph, that mechanic can probably now produce trade goods faster than Kragus, our stonecrafter and our entire clothing industry combined.


(Is the ROPE somehow spiked, or is it supposed to just be menacing on its own?)

After casually walking all the way back home, the dyer has now collapsed straight into bed and demanded she be FETCHED water, rather than get off her arse and drink the ale she's clearly capable of walking to. I'm actually half worried she'll be lazy enough to dehydrate there. Everyone is ordered inside again. This fortress needs a fucking military, already. We have weapons, we have a barracks, and we have kobold pincushions wandering outside somewhere. START TRAINING.


(Fluffy is just jealous that Claws didn't invite him.)

... Is it too late for me to side with Asno?

[Flintus10]

 the writing is great keep it up and i love where my character is going. 

[OneMoreNameless]

Now sure would be an awkward time to mention that in the next chapter a named dwarf dies due to my own ineptitude with the military, huh?

[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Nobody Hearts Dwarves -

Dwarven Cooking 202, by Fatman

How To: Defend Your Larder
... kobolds particularly, but in times of poverty almost anyone will stoop to stealing the food you've put so much hard work into. So, here are a few tips for keeping your delicious feasts YOURS.

Tip #1: Form a military. Traps and bridges are fine for a while, but eventually you're going to want a more mobile and trainable force to work with. Choose your recruits from the dwarves who are generally doing the least; in our case, the few dwarves who would have been creating clothing were all fired before they even started after our mechanic's sudden jump in skill. The Tax Collector decided the speed and simplicity of mechanism production was preferable as a trade good for now. A few stockpiles were further dug out to make room for all of them and Kragus's ever increasing number of unsold totems. Ivanor was rather pissed that he was kicked out of the workshop.
Anyway, the recruits chosen were a weaver, an animal caretaker (both were slacking off), Vidar (he has SOME skill in shooting wooden arrows, apparently) and Flint leading them. All would be using crossbows, and begin training and sleeping the barracks immediately. Kornash was furious that he was not permitted to join, but as the bedridden dyer is proving, without a water source any scratches during sparring could prove instant death. Kornash waited until he was alone and then recruited himself, grabbing a sword and shield and declaring something about training with the camels. The Tax Collector wrote him off and assigned the woodburner to butchering some our livestock for additional bone bolts.

Tip #2: Build defences. Important areas such a trade depot should be roofed over so dwarves can access that while barred from the outdoors. Fortifications need to be carved for catapults, and Ruins plans to build some kind of crossbow towers next to them later. There was even talk of outer ditches and the like, but they won't be done for a while yet. Break up any parties you need to if the dwarves refuse to actually work.

Tip #3: Remain calm. Being jumpy will just get you zooming around the fortress exterior trying to find where the hell the kobolds attacked before you realise it was just a dog being struck down, announced in the same dramatic, purple manner. Literally all our livestock is roaming around the fortress getting in everyone's way now. To hell with it, I'll keep the caged animals in the pen instead, they're just sitting outside at the trade depot now.
Also, wow, masterpiece mechanisms are worth 360 value. That's pretty impressive and we already have two within a week. A few dwarves keep firing the catapults into newly constructed walls. That's less impressive. It would be nice if our newer members learned to think for themselves, but then again, a fortress full of dwarves making their own decisions is a pretty scary thought.
Another masterpiece, eh it ... wait Kragus? I don't think I want to know what he's done with those skulls for him to consider it masterwork. Mind you, it can't be any worse than the dining hall. When every wall or floor is engraved it's SUPPOSED to look beautiful to most dwarves but the end result is an overall eyesore, really. At least my meals look even better in comparison. When am I getting my own rooms again?


(Muskox calves appreciate fine art.)

Tip #4: It is the 12th Galena and Kragus has requested upon threat of head lopping that our mechanic, "For the hate of Armok!", stops shouting an announcement every time he creates another masterpiece. We get it. Pride -> fall and all that. It's not like the mechanisms actually DO anything, unlike, say, my delicious meals. Anyway, our dyer has ... has ... *sigh* dyed. (I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF, THAT CAT MADE ME SAY IT, honest.) Rest in peace, we'll make a good trade out of your silk trousers. The fortress has been heating up over the death, and Ruins has declared it is time for revenge. The Tax Collector insisted on further training, but was overridden by force of numbers and is now coldly writing in his office. We're really not to bothered with that useless asshole anymore. Ruins got us into this mess, and now she's publicly promised to get us out of it.


(What DID Mafol say when he crossed the Rubicon?)

Our squad gathers their weapons and forms outside our gates. Or at least, they were told to, three of them insist on running halfway across the area into the dark fortress to loot their equipment from a corpse. We have weapons INSIDE, damn it. You know what, fine. Everyone can go collect the body and clothing and whatnot. Our unarmed military blindly rushing out there has confirmed there are no hostiles on that path anyway and will you SHUT UP MECHANIC. The Tax Collector is legendary too you know, and he doesn't shout "OMG I recorded this shit perfectly!" every two seconds. Although that would be pretty funny, but he's smoothing the bedrooms now, so I guess not. That's probably off topic. I really need to cut down on that in my next revision. This is turning out less of a cookbook and more of a What Not To Do fortress guide ...

[Author's Note: You guys know that mechanic is still up for claiming, right? ]

Tip #5: It's important to keep everyone involved in your defences busy. Flint has been complaining that he hasn't gotten to kill anyone yet, and Kornash snuck away to fight a camel at one point. Well, he would have, if he didn't keep running back and forth from the staircase and the stockpile failing to pick up his sword for some reason. For a week, until Ruins calmly told him it was okay to take an axe instead. It was actually kind of sad. First he falls in our ditch, and now this. For all his tough talk I seriously wonder if he has a mental disorder. So then he tried to kill a camel but it was too fast for him to catch and he just kind of gave up after a while. I'm starting to think there aren't any kobolds left after all, even though we only know the whereabouts of a few corpses.

Tip #6: If anybody acts like this, kill them. It would be worth it.


("He was irritated by the mechanic lately.")

Tip #7: When hostile goblins ambush your fortress, GET THEM before Asno can steal our kills again!


(When the fortress is quiet Strife yells things like: A sneeze! Bless them!)

The goblins gang up and slowly kill one guard outside of the dark fortress, then wander around a bit and don't really do much. Ruins orders the military on duty and positions them around the corner ready to attack. Three of them arrive eventually, although one recruit is drinking or something. Kornash seems to be walking back and forth from the same spot just outside the south east corner of our ditch and nobody has a clue why. Too late, the goblins spot the squad and attack. Pew pew pew go go gadget arrows! (Uh ... I might want to rewrite that when I'm not in the spirit of the oh crap someone was just sniped in the head and winded, but they're alive somehow. The goblins are closing the distance way to quickly, they're meleeing already. The squad has their back to the wall and are surrounded. Somebody else is injured, one goblin has fallen and I can't quite see what's going on in the fighting and suddenly it's too quiet and ...

... It's over.


(SFX: Splat, splat, splat.)

Oh god. Vidar was out there. This can't

The draft continues only with illegible scribbles and watermarks before ending.

Lady Ruins Practises Her Dramatic Monologues

17th Limestone
Dwarven caravans have arrived. The goblins are still rioting within the dark fortress, so they make it to our trading depot safely. The hostile goblins will be killed by Asno's guards soon enough. Idle dwarves begin hauling totems, mugs and mechanisms out to trade, but without much enthusiasm. Unsurprising, given the recent turn of events, but they will regain their energy soon enough. Three dwarves were an acceptable loss to push this fortress into war, although I suppose I can not afford to (this time) properly train and equip any more until we can attract further migrants. Flint and Kornash were elsewhere during the battle and have now been relieved to their former duties.

Fatman in particular was quite depressed over the deaths. Even without risking retrieval of the bodies he insisted on holding a ceremony for Vidar, including one last double entendre in his honour. ("His wood might have been a pain in all our arses, but damn it, he took our shit and came ... to be a respected and hardworking member of this fortress. We will all miss him.") I found his cookbook in the refuse pile and brought it inside to peruse. It should provide some useful insight into the mooks.

12th Sandstone
While I certainly appreciate the skill of our mechanic, I admit even I became tired after hearing him announcing another masterpiece ten times in a row between other events. Hauling has long since been finished but The Tax Collector is busy conducting meetings with both our liaison and a human guild representative. Wood, barrels, charcoal and cages are requested.

18th Sandstone
Ah. Even moreso than Vidar's death, this may be awkward news to break to the mooks. The Tax Collector spent so long being accosted by the diplomats that the merchants have finished trading before our broker could even get to the depot. All that time hauling was wasted, and we will receive no new supplies for quite some time. The bridge was closed at the time, but now that it has been opened the merchants are still standing there, refusing to leave, and refusing to trade. If their skilled, armed and armoured guards grow unhappy and start tantruming ... well, it would be a deliciously ironic way for the fortress to fall, but let's just hope they carry on their way soon enough.

And now, it's time for ...
What Would Fluffycuddlekissesjoy Do?

Finish the roof over the trade depot, then deconstruct the walls and DROP IT ON THEIR HEADS. Instant loot!

[Boksi]

Oh well, c'est la vie.

[Muno syoan]

Litast Nishigam (Mechanic) has changed his name! He is now 'Syoan' Nishigam (Mechanic/ Town Crier).
Syoan - Dwarven slang for 'bloody irritating'. I MAKE NO APOLOGY.
SYOAN NISHIGAM HAS CREATED A MASTERPIECE!

(please/thanks?)

[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Okay Maybe Elves Heart Dwarves But Nobody Likes Elves -

Fortress Records (Filed By The Tax Collector)

1st Moonstone
Barrels are being crafted, as the food stockpile is growing out of control. The floor over the trade depot is in construction. Catapult practise has been resumed. The bedrooms are now being engraved. Mechanism production has been halted; we have far more than required for the next merchants.  The central staircase has been covered by lockable hatches as a precaution against the lingering merchants still here. Flint is out hunting. More coffins are being produced. Problematically, Syoan has been sighted collecting items from far outside the fortress. Our legendary mechanic's new nickname, as recently snapped by Fatman. I am told it is slang for "bloody irritating", although whether his nickname derived from the slang or vice versa I have not confirmed. It As annoying as he may be, his skills will still be required in the future. Kragus was told very strongly not to make a totem from Vidar's skull. Strife has suggested constructing pumps to build up the strength of possible recruits in advance. His idea was approved and two have been ordered using the last of the wood.

15th Moonstone
I have engraved three masterpieces. Syoan's desire to announce every one is surprisingly catchy. After Syoan caught on that I had achieved that level, HE began yelling out the announcements to the dwarves. Strife seemed to think it a challenge, and now they're both competing to see who can scream the loudest and most useless notices. But to the engravings, two of them depicted our foundation, and the third of the day I took leadership of these dwarves.

Personally, I am actually impressed how quickly and smoothly Ruins was able to steal control of the fortress back. The panic, blood lust and fury following the goblin attacks clouded the judgment of the dwarves, and she knew the exact words to sway them. It helped that most of the population are migrants, and had not seen her initial deceit in person. I am the only one here who can see that Vidar and the others were mere pawns to Ruins. Ruins must know I know this, but leaves me be, and I do not like not knowing why. I refused to trade with the last merchants as a demonstration of my necessity, but Ruins just used it to stir up displeasure at me. Technically I remain their leader but only requests approved by Ruins reach me, if at all. Ruins is using me, and I no longer doubt her I am included in her further plans. I need to know them, yet, perhaps I shall keep that knowledge from my winter report.

I incorrectly assumed holes were required for pumps, and so there are two unnecessary chasms in the barracks. I will leave them as a reminder to myself that even my calculations can be flawed.

18th Moonstone
Another goblin ambush has been detected in Asno's dark fortress. Considering the results last time, we have stayed indoors and ignored it.


(Yeeeaaahhh, The Tax Collector is doing it too.)

Several goblins did emerge closer to our fortress, and attacked a wandering merchant with two guards. Two were killed, and the other was chased towards our fortress entrance. There the guards from the merchant caravans all rushed out to slaughter the goblins after they triggered one trap. Perhaps the lingering merchants will prove more beneficial than anticipated.


(I have a personal defence force! ^_^)

24th Moonstone
Unsurprisingly given the attack, the merchants and their guards have now left our fortress. Everyone has been allowed outside again and many dwarves are hauling as much of our trading goods back inside as will still fit in our stockpiles. The rest will simply stay outside until the next caravan arrives; none of it is perishable. Kornash and Flint are instead spending time working out on our pumps. Smoothing and engraving of the cemetery has been resumed after many delays.


(And pump. And pump. And pump. And keep on pumping! And pump. x935)

8th Opal
I have successfully equaled Syoan's record of ten masterpieces engraved in a row, but was then interrupted by Strife screaming that Kornash get back to exercising at the pumps (Kornash was too tired to continue). The farmers are spending much of their time socialising, with no seeds to plant as there is so much alcohol and food left untouched.

15th Obsidian
Little of note has occurred until now. Ivanor is a siege operator now, and is discontent that Syoan has stolen all his glory, and most of his infamy. Occasionally he attempts to launch dwarves from the catapult, but otherwise he still performs his jobs. Strife has informed everyone that Kornash became a sheriff, when he already was, but had merely gained skill in pump operation. More than once, putting him slightly ahead in the pointless yelling contest. The goblins corpses outside rotted and their bones used for bolts.

Today is notable as Ivanor entered my office to casually inform me that he could not load the catapult as we had no rock. I assumed it was another of his jokes, until Ruins was also unable to complete the roof over the area. This is, to say the least, something of an unusual problem.


(My UNDERGROUND dwarven fortress is out of ROCK. WTF. Least dwarviest dwarves ever.)

We have several unoccupied dwarves and five picks, so the solution is trivial. Nym, a miner, a farmer and a clothier were ordered to mine alongside Ruins downwards, westwards and then almost to the surface of our cemetery; directly beneath the dark fortress. Intentionally on Ruins behalf, but it is unconfirmed how many other dwarves are aware of the possible dangers. Disappointingly few consult these records. The farmer ended up being the one digging the narrow passageway to the area, while the others inefficiently waited and tapped their feet. Golden beryl was struck, but as neither trade goods or morale are currently an issue it was not worth the effort of reassigning labors to avoid its partial destruction. Nym can encrust something with what is left later, although given the large number of totems and mechanisms we possess it is probable only our purses shall eventually benefit.

1st Granite
The miners have struck mica, microline, pyrolusite, microline, microline, olivine and orthoclase. In that order. It has now occurred to Ruins that the area designated for mining is loam rather than stone, so her plan is to dig out an additional area beneath it. The miners are only clearing out the top level first, so any further stone shall have to wait. Strife has amusingly informed me that our food stores are 1337 now, whatever that signifies. The roof over the trade depot has been completed. After Kragus was found sneaking into the dark fortress looking for skulls I ordered everyone inside again. Ruins can not object while she is away mining.


(This is going to be awesome when the edges are channeled.)

13th Granite
A goblin snatcher has been spotted near our fortress. For a while it stood still trying to locate either children or paths into our fortress, then left. Two days later, and probably unrelated, elf merchants arrived. Despite their lack of useful wares last time, the bridge is opened for them. If only for someone to take our useless collection of stone mugs. At first nobody rushed to greet them, despite the trade depot being marked as inside. Worryingly, they only began hauling once the bridge was retracted and allowed outside.

22nd Granite
More goblins have attacked Asno's dark fortress. They are ignored again, although it may be of note that Asno's guards only outnumbered them three to one this time, and they are always spread out compared to the attacker's concentrated force. If the size of goblin attacks continues to increase, Asno may be in real danger. When he falls, we dwarves shall be the only targets. We must make the best use of his distraction while we can.

For the elves, we were pleased to find this time they had brought a reasonable number of wooden logs and barrels and accepted our first offer to trade these items for our mugs (820 total value). Once the deal was made our carpenter began construction further barrels to organise our food stockpiles into something manageable.

27th Granite
Another group of dwarven migrants have been spotted to the south. Under Ruin's watchful eye I am recording their details and assigning them temporary positions as they each arrive within the fortress walls. Nym shall then introduce them, show them around and deal with their other immediate sundry needs. Fatman is currently too mentally unwell to do the task. The first migrant is now arriving ...

A brewer, who can assist Fatman and Strife. A peasant, who I'll give Nym's pick and have trained in masonry. A leatherworker, who can train with the catapults and pumps, I might recruit them later. A peasant, who I'll also prepare for the military. A fish cleaner, the same. A trapper, and on second thoughts I may just have Flint sent up to hand out crossbows and begin their recruitment now. An animal caretaker, who can help engrave stone and install mechanisms. A peasant, who I will train as an architect for the times I am busy during construction. A gem cutter, who can remain for now even though we don't have many gems at the moment. A peasant, who is recruited. An armourer, who can take the farmer's pick and train in masonry, I suspect the fields may get more use once these newcomers hunger. A peasant, who can also engrave and install mechanisms, and it's interesting there are so many arriving given the recent deaths and the dark fortress next door.

But continuing, a woodcrafter, who can be a backup carpenter. A peasant, who I would recruit but we only have so many bolts to train with, so I'll assign to weaving further robes. A bone carver, who will antagonise Kragus, but might as well stick with their current profession. A fish cleaver, and I can't think of any other required jobs, so they can just haul for the time being. A miller, who might be useful if the clothing industry actually begins production. A peasant, who can haul. A planter, and I'm fairly sure we don't have enough beds or wood left to make them at this point. A weaponsmith, who will no doubt add to our unemployment rate. A peasant, hauling. A child, who is out of place, useless and in danger in this fortress. A bowyer, who just might have something to craft if our bolt supplies were to drastically increase. A soap maker, who I just KNEW was going to turn up eventually, and shall have to be content carrying dead rodents from Fluffy and Claws.

I believe that was all. Our fortress population is now 41.

[muwahahaha]

BAHAHAHAAAA, out of rock?

Did you make the catapult fire into wall with a channel in front of it? that preserves the ammo for reuse and might help with the lack of rocks.

Also, who is more experienced, Kornash or Flint?

[OneMoreNameless]

Also, who is more experienced, Kornash or Flint?

Flint by far. Right now Flint's leading the only military squad. He's Extremely Strong, Very Agile and Very Tough. His highest skills are High Master Marksdwarf, Proficient Ambusher, and Competent in Animal Caretaker / Pump Operator, plus a handful of dabbling to (no label).

Kornash is still the sheriff, only Agile and Tough, with Proficient Pump Operator, Novice Siege Operator and a handful of dabblings. Once I get around to finding the underground water (probably after I'm finished collapsing the first dark fortress) I plan on having him lead a melee squad though, honest!

[Flintus10]

WOOOO

I guess with a profesion name like merchant of death you have to be pretty good at killing stuff

[Frelock]

If at some time in the future you have lots of spare stone, a little 5*5 room with nothing in it, and no excessive need for mechanics, could you have Ivanor spam mechanism production (he will have his revenge).  Once the workshop gets really cluttered, just deconstruct it and construct a new one in its place.  He'll move all the mechanisms to the edge of the room, and start work afresh (call it "cleaning out his workshop").  Then, when he hits legendary, you can have someone come in and shout something along the lines of "What the Hell are we supposed to do with all these Mechanisms!?"  Naturally, you can just forbid the non-masterpieces and let them sit. 

[OneMoreNameless]

If at some time in the future you have lots of spare stone, a little 5*5 room with nothing in it, and no excessive need for mechanics, could you have Ivanor spam mechanism production (he will have his revenge).  Once the workshop gets really cluttered, just deconstruct it and construct a new one in its place.  He'll move all the mechanisms to the edge of the room, and start work afresh (call it "cleaning out his workshop").  Then, when he hits legendary, you can have someone come in and shout something along the lines of "What the Hell are we supposed to do with all these Mechanisms!?"  Naturally, you can just forbid the non-masterpieces and let them sit. 

Tempting though it is, I already have a crap load of mechanisms sitting around unused (137, to be precise), and in the next chapter Ivanor both hits legendary (in a different skill) and well and truly has his crowning moment of awesome over Syoan.

[Frelock]

Ah.  Continuarte...

[OneMoreNameless]

- CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Five Other Tales Of Dwarven Lives. Also Puppy Massacring! -

A Month In The Life Of: Nym, Miner

4th Slate
The fortress has been very busy in the last few days. The Tax Collector doesn't care for freeloaders, even though we have ample supplies. Most of the recent migrants have come from bad enough places that they're glad to take turns sleeping in the barracks. Some like to brag about what they've endured. Some like to brag about what the goblins will have to endure. They're searching for meaning, and this is all they've found. War, I suppose, or some prelude to it. Asno treats us like bastards lately, when he bothers to speak at all. He may be right, but what could have become of these dwarves in a land where the smiles of all races were honest ...

I have spent most of my time mining stone with Lady Ruins, so I have not seen all the changes in the fortress, but I talk while I work and I know enough to fill in the gaps. The floors everywhere in the fortress are being smoothed and engraved by The Tax Collector and a few others. Some jobs have been reorganised to allow clothing production to begin. There were a few problems with missing labors and required bags, but it is working well enough. A number of dogs are being butchered for bone bolts our military can practise with. Would it be so hard to train the dogs to fight directly? But Flint is rarely deterred from his own obsessions. The rest are thrown back in the pen afterwords. The kitchen is constantly being worked. Doors, cabinets and coffers are being mass produced. The catapults are in use again. There is always hauling to be done for those without a specialty.

14th Slate
After watching another dog carcass go to waste, Ruins has decided to set up a leatherworking industry, purely for the purpose of cheap armour for the military. The only dwarf with any skill has been recruited, so a fishcleaner was given the tools and thrown into the workshop. A peasant was given the job of tanning.

Lady Ruins and The Tax Collector's interaction is unusual to observe. They are polite and considerate to each other in public, but their every action seems deliberate and planned, as if it carried hidden meaning. Yet there is awkwardness and hesitancy too, almost as unadmitted lovers, but hostile. There are always games being played above us mere dwarves, I suppose ...

21st Slate
It is cool in the mines, but there must have been a heatwave outdoors today, with so many people thirty at once. I looked around when I was drinking myself, and saw a fortress in mess. Cluttered workshops, some stockpiles full and others empty. I went to speak to Fatman about a few changes, but he wasn't really listening. The Tax Collector listened when I spoke of numbers. The workplace stockpiles were reorganised shortly after.


(And that was the SECOND lot of them.)

28th Slate
The military's stockpile of bolts is almost empty, and Kornash has been collecting bones from far outside again. The response was to butcher all the puppies and muskox calves in the fortress. The reactions to this are mixed ... Kragus, "fufufu". Flint, "heeheehee". Syoan, "ANOTHER PUPPY HAS BEEN STRUCK DOWN EVERYONE!!". Even the cats are laughing. It was horrible, but I expected no better here ... I suppose that was even why I came. I wanted to be a voice of reason, but nobody hears me over their growing bloodlust. The most I can do is tend to the livestock spared and if nothing else maybe be the impartial witness these kinds of acts need. History will forget me, but maybe if I can survive for a while it will remember that what happened here might be the fault of a dwarf, but I cannot believe it was ever the fault of all dwarves.

A Month In The Life Of: Strife, Farmer

12th Felsite
Earlier today a weaponsmith withdrew from society! It was a pretty good announcement to hear, even if Syoan did manage to beat me to yelling it. We could always use more dwarves imparted with legendary knowledge. Of course, he just kind of, you know, stood around for a while at first. I suppose we should have actually built a forge with those anvils we traded for a while back! (Wait, anvils? I thought we only had one, but hey!) Some idle dwarf is given the task of building it, and the moment it's up the weaponsmith rushes over and claims it. Shocked, I am SHOCKED that he would do that, heh. It doesn't take him long to grab a few items and start work. Waitamoment, he didn't grab any fuel, how is he ... ?

There hasn't been any leatherworking done yet, by the way. The fishcleaner must be really good at finding distractions or something, he's been given the labor but hasn't even started yet. So is the tanner, actually, so a few others are told to hurry the job along if needed. I'm not one of them, thankfully. Animal skin is kind of, ick. Vegetarian stirfry, that's the way to go! At least it would be if I were allowed to cook, well, anything that wasn't meat or ale. THIS DIET IS SLOWLY KILLING ALL OF YOU!! Really, I'm only thinking in your best interests here.

21st Felsite
Kragus created a masterpiece, and then ANOTHER MASTERPIECE EVERYBODY straight afterward. There was this brief moment, a look in his eye, where he thought his talent would bring him friends, and then wham! The metalsmith finishes his artifact. A really weird artifact though, I mean, is the oil supposed to teach you a lesson in avoiding being corkscrewed or what? The Tax Collector estimated it at 19200 value though, the best so far!


(Strife is notably not revering the prospect of sweltering.)

Credit where credit is due, Syoan DID make a pretty neat trap out of it. He used his artifact mechanism, that, and an iron whip just to add insult to injury. It was placed just outside out main stairway so if any enemies actually reach it we're pretty much screwed anyway, so let's just hope the rest of our defences hold everyone off! On the upside, it's in the perfect spot for Ivanor to compare his stone traps and mope jealously around for a bit before wandering off and muttering about getting even. That Syoan hasn't fallen victim to any pranks since is actually kind of worrying. What's Ivanor spending all his time doing lately, anyway?

8th Hematite
Man you know I hate to bring a downer thought (or down a poorly thought meal) to the table, but our military is pretty lackluster at the moment. They're using all the bolts we have pretty much instantly training. Except for a few metal ones, but still. Flint's skills are pretty awesome from all the time he spent hunting but the other recruits are all "competent" this and "skilled" that. One of them hasn't even DABBLED somehow. Yeesh, it's a good thing we're not actively working towards removing the only distraction from the goblin and kobold attacks!

Oh wait, we are. Good old retractable bridge, you'll never fail us!

A Month In The Life Of: Syoan, Mechanic

16th Felsite
EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! FLAGRANT ABUSE OF DUMPING MECHANICS IS TENUOUSLY HANDWAVED BECAUSE THE TAX COLLECTOR IS REALLY VERY EFFICIENT. ALTERNATIVELY, IVANOR INVENTED A PORTABLE HOLE. NO WAIT, FLINT HAD NOTHING ELSE TO KILL SO HE KILLED THE ... logic of ... the situation. Ah, whatever. The important thing is that we preserve out stone supplies somewhere safe and closer by while we have some fun with the nearest goblin tower. Digging just for stone is boring, and

KOBOLDS! IN THE DARK FORTRESS! THOUGHT YOU OUGHT TO KNOW!


(Oh NOES, they'll distract other enemies! We're dooooomed!)

Oh and it goes without saying the merchants choose now to arrive and bypass our "inaccessible" site rather than let us open the bridge again. HA! JOKE! Of course it doesn't go without saying, but Strife beat me to it. This time. The kobolds are actually doing okay against Asno's guards, ha. I hope they leave some for alive for us to play with later.

19th Felsite
THERE IS A KOBOLD THIEF OVER THERE PROTECT YOUR STUFF EVERYONE! THIS IS IN STARK COMPARISON TO THE OTHER KOBOLDS AROUND THE PLACE NOW WHO ONLY WISH TO KILL YOU! THE MERCHANTS ARE NOW UNLOADING THEIR GOODS! Strife is already retaliating with announcements for each newborn puppy struck down, reminding us that since puppies are smaller they have less meat, and are therefore healthier for you. Clever. That dwarf is a worthy adversary, but as soon as I find The Tax Collector's records I'll show him by announcing everything the kobold steals that wasn't even ours in the first place!

Anyway, I guess we don't have to haul anything out this time since there area already a pile of mechanisms left out from last time. It would be nice if everybody didn't keep treading on my babies. We request the usual wood, bolts, barrels and charcoal. The Tax Collector comes out and offers to trade literally all the mechanisms they can carry for literally everything they are carrying now (few charcoal, some wood, some barrels and two leather bins). The merchants don't accept. Well, to that. You know what this means? We finally have an excuse to raid Kragus's totem collection! Hahaha!

27th Felsite
ATTENTION EVERYONE YOU ARE ALL LAZY AND THAT TOOK FOREVER! Oh sure, there was harvesting to be done, but you didn't really need to keep hauling those stones up to reload the catapults. They were turned off and the harvest BURNED (okay, not really hahaha) and The Tax Collector made the trade for some mechanisms and some totems. HEY RUINS IS MORE SKILLED SHE'S TOTALLY A LEGENDARY MINER NOW OKAY?! GREAT! AND THAT CHILD IS A NOVICE GROWER AND AGILE JUST FROM HARVESTING OR SOMETHING! Oh, and the kobolds are dead or fleeing from Asno's remaining guards, but not even I care about that. The carpenter starts building beds straight away which is GREAT NEWS for everybody else because apparently I snore when I sleep in the barracks. REALLY loudly. It kind of sucks we don't have any ore for the legendary weaponsmith to work with, but at least we can get the rest of that leather armour made now. And HOLY SHIT GUYS ANOTHER SIXTEEN MASTERPIECE ENGRAVINGS FROM THE TAX COLLECTOR DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HIM?! NO?! HOW ABOUT ME YOU ALL LOVE ME RIGHT EVERYONE?! WELL YOU ALL SUCK!

A Month In The Life Of: Kornash, Sheriff

1st Galena
Recently, I have come to expect these delays by Ruins. I was promised my own squadron to lead against Asno and his kin. First I have no weapon, then I cannot risk sparring, then I must butcher, operate seige engines, train the the pumps, haul stone after stone away from the digging area, and even now Ruins has put off chasming the loam and orthoclase levels together in favour of constructing small crossbow towers alongside our catapults. I am a patient man, and I understand these developments further our dwarven strength, but so help me Armok if Ruins has been lying to me ...

18th Galena
A diplomat has left unhappy. After being ignored and forced to endure the stench and mess of our fortress for so long, I can't imagine why. He won't do anything, he's too scared of us. One day the whole world will be. I hear our would-be masons have been troubles figuring out to construct the towers, being unable to build walls and constructions and whatnot. Ruins figured it out in the end but their ignorance in such a simple construction hardly bodes well for the planned destruction of a dark tower. I'll be staying far clear of that, supports or not.

21st Galena
Syoan and Strife are tiresome idiots. They could work much faster if they weren't spending half of their time gossiping for the sake of yelling announcements first. A masterpiece. A masterpiece. Another fucking masterpiece. A mad guild representative. The umpteenth master - wait, repeat that last one.


("Eh? Meh." could well be my new catchphrase when playing DF.)

Complete bedrooms for each dwarf (aside from recruits) have been completed. The room is hardly worth the eyesores on the way down to it. The floors are almost entirely covered in engravings of dwarves. Just an FYI in case the yelling hadn't tipped you off.

26th Galena
Any dwarves that can't figure out how to move a single rock out of the way, or even use it in the construction, of building a wall are retarded and should do their duty as meatshields for those of us with any chance of outwitting a camel. Now I need to have words and a sword with Ruins for not seeking out a water source yet.

A Week In The Life Of: Flint, Merchant Of Death

13th Limestone
Flint notices the bridge opened today. Hear something about missed caravans. Caravans are no fun, Flint not allowed to kill them. Flint not allowed to kill anything lately, not even camels. No dwarves rush out to suicidally collect things, too busy dumping stone. You can't kill stone, it not interest Flint.

Corners of the defensive wall fixed today. It keeps all the flying enemies from getting in diagonally, Flint guess. Crossbow towers nearly ready! They two levels high and just need fotri- fortefi- firtrifor- holes. Need holes for bolts. To kill with! Spare ammo not here yet either, but only kill a few things better than kill no things.

OH! Kobold makes it all the way into the fortress unseen! Kobold okay to kill, but before Flint can rouse military the dogs chase it out. Flint laugh and follow them out to watch kobold be kibble'd. Oh WAIT. YES. FUN! There is ambush of kobold outside! Good thing dog noticed in time, good doggie.

Bridge vanished again (where Ruins put it???). Flint and friends go to the one finish tower. Catapults turned on. Dogs shot by kobows. BATTLE ON, IT KILL TIME! ^_^


(On the up side, it save US the effort of butchering them.)

14th Limestone
Flint hear rude words down on ground, hear "fuck", "carvan", "all times", "fuck", "passed", "fucking" also "dwarven merchants". Flint bet they killed, but not want. Flint must end battle quick to save dwarfs with Flint's ammo! (Flint hope there ammo.)

16th Limestone
... Ho ... Holy crap. Flint suddenly see red blur on ground, moving perfectly agile! It zips between BOTH catapults, pause just long enough for Flint to recognise Ivanor, determined, devious, legendary, before he starts flinging stones towards kobolds almost as fast as Flint shoot bolt! Kobolds panic and run all zig zaggy, trying to dodge massive boulders of splattering. Blood and limbs seen lying around when first hit. One or two kobold get close, so Ivanor back off and Flint shoot bolts down to kill it. One dodge traps, but is knocked out by bolt or something and triggers trap. Splat, yay! Ivanor fling more rocks and the kobolds alive flee in terror. All gone long before merchants even get near.


(Legendary siege operators are pretty awesome to watch in action.)

Ivanor smirks at Syoan, dusts hands and casually reloads his stone trap.

Flint so turned on right now.

[muwahahaha]

Dude, I LOVE your storytelling. I think this is probably the funniest community fort I've seen. Keep it up!