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[Kinoko_Otoko]

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The image was some historical event I'd never heard of; it was more amusing this way. Possession. I tried to use the forbid/unforbid thing, but all I managed to do was make him use carp leather.

Best. Name. Ever.

[Grendus]

Just got a suit of steel platemail. Almost got Crucible steel, but I realized that crucible steel has no armor modifier, so it would be 50% armor. Wish I had made some deep steel or mithril, but artifact steel platemail is still bar none the best artifact I've ever had.

[Lemunde]

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Sweet!  My first human bone artifact!

[SkyRender]

 I dunno about best, but my most embarrassing one was definitely Whispertwinkles the Electrum Harp.  I can't even remember everything it was made from any more, but the name alone assured I would hate it.  I always worried one of my Dwarves would play it and summon Tingle or something.  My engravers loved the damned thing, and carved half that fortress up with pictures of the most flamboyant harp ever.  Pretty much every artifact made afterward had images of Whispertwinkles on it too.  I have no idea why my fortress was so enamored with it, but I was tempted more than once to order it dumped into the magma pool.  The only thing that spared it that fate was that it was rendered in images bloody EVERYWHERE, meaning that I'd just be destroying one instance out of thousands.

 Damn I hate Whispertwinkles...

[Lord Braindead]

Im sorry to say this but i think you had the gayest fortress in the history of dwarvkind...

I cant remember to have had a very awesome artifact but i once had a fortress full of selfappointed art critics. The details are lost to history, i only remember two names and some pictures but it basically went like this:

1. Artifact - "Something something" the basalt ring - nothing special here
2. Artifact - "Somethingsomething the false Idols" the diorit floodgate - engraved on the artifact was a picture of the creator of Artifact 1, holding his ring - i later checked and in fact, the creator of 2 had a grudge on 1
3.-8. Artifact - all creators where friends of either 1 or 2, all of these artifacts were made from basalt or diorit (was the most common stone in my fortress) and had an engraving of artifact 1 or 2 or theyre creation
9. Artifact - "Somethingsomething the useless bickering" the steel warhammer - engraved with both 1 and 2 (the first one who had both), my smith seemed a little pissed of about the ongoing argument which artifact was great and which one should be tossed down the chasm

Between artifact 2 and 9 i had lots of engravings of 1 and 2 but after the creation of the 9. neither got engraved anymore or was mentioned on later artifacts. I always imagined that my smith, artifact steel hammer in hand, ran into the meetinghall and shouted atop of his lungs "I just created this hammer and i swear to Armok, the next moron who talks about a basalt ring or a diorit floodgate will be a fine paste on the wall!"

Sometimes the RNG is just awesome...

[SkyRender]

 Come to think of it, I don't think there were any children born in that fortress.  I certainly recall having to build close to a bed per Dwarf, since there were only about 3 married couples.  I wouldn't be surprised if none of those enamored with Whispertwinkes was married.

[Doomshifter]

Im sorry to say this but i think you had the gayest fortress in the history of dwarvkind...

I cant remember to have had a very awesome artifact but i once had a fortress full of selfappointed art critics. The details are lost to history, i only remember two names and some pictures but it basically went like this:

1. Artifact - "Something something" the basalt ring - nothing special here
2. Artifact - "Somethingsomething the false Idols" the diorit floodgate - engraved on the artifact was a picture of the creator of Artifact 1, holding his ring - i later checked and in fact, the creator of 2 had a grudge on 1
3.-8. Artifact - all creators where friends of either 1 or 2, all of these artifacts were made from basalt or diorit (was the most common stone in my fortress) and had an engraving of artifact 1 or 2 or theyre creation
9. Artifact - "Somethingsomething the useless bickering" the steel warhammer - engraved with both 1 and 2 (the first one who had both), my smith seemed a little pissed of about the ongoing argument which artifact was great and which one should be tossed down the chasm

Between artifact 2 and 9 i had lots of engravings of 1 and 2 but after the creation of the 9. neither got engraved anymore or was mentioned on later artifacts. I always imagined that my smith, artifact steel hammer in hand, ran into the meetinghall and shouted atop of his lungs "I just created this hammer and i swear to Armok, the next moron who talks about a basalt ring or a diorit floodgate will be a fine paste on the wall!"

Sometimes the RNG is just awesome...

That is possibly the coolest smith ever. I hope you gave him a fancy tomb.

EDIT:
My latest fort just gave me a bismuth bronze amulet. Boring, yes. But it's name is funny.
'The Large Stranger'. It was a secretive mood ;3

[Lord Braindead]

He either got a place in the military crypta (steelcaskets and lots of silver/gold/platinum statues) as a reward for making the masterwork gear for my champions or a simple wooden one and was cremated via magma (my usual burial arrangement when i have magma).
It was probably the latter and i dont think that there would be a better way to go for a smith.

[assimilateur]

a simple wooden one and was cremated via magma (my usual burial arrangement when i have magma).

Don't the bereaved get a really bad thought for having one of their loved ones consumed by fire? I mean, granted, he was buried first, but I've got the feeling that having the casket burn counts as a bad thought (though it shouldn't, so kudos to the dev if it doesn't).

[Shade-o]

Nope, the bad thought occurs only if the corpse starts to rot.

[Lord Braindead]

I never bothered to check but i think it gives a bad thought when a casket with remains inside gets destroyed. Usually i have a ☼diningroom☼ long before i even tap into a magmapipe so im unsure.

[assimilateur]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't worry about these sorta thoughts either, I'm merely asking this on principle (though for all I know that might be one hell of a bad thought that wouldn't be made up for by a nice dining room).

[dragnar]

Blasphemy! A legendary dining room solves almost as many problems as magma!

[Nyxalinth]

not only is that self-refrential, but it's double refrential! ug, that's gotta be an FPS drop.

How does that make the fps drop?  I could see it if there was an actual picture involved.

[qoonpooka]

Yes I'm going to talk about a tower-cap bed.  No, my most valuable was a 90k gold shortsword covered in rough gems and human bone.  Yes the bed was better.

Context: This was my first HFS game (that I know of).  I accidentally landed on a chasm (as well as a ton of native platinum and other fun things, which I expect is the norm on dangerous terrain).  My wagon was parked RIGHT NEXT TO IT.  It was also some six squares or so away from my fortress entrance, AND three z-levels up.  I was on a no-anvil, no-axe, lots of wood build.  This was bad.

It was in late fall, just before the first caravan when my carpenter left his post in the kitchen in a mood.  He ran /straight/ for the chasm, which had already cost me an herbalist and all of my cats.  He grabs three logs out of the wagon and creates a 3,600 bed with an image of the current King.  I think he wanted to be ready when the King showed up to personally over see all the platinum I was going to extract.

This artifact was PERFECT in every way:

1) It gave him Legendary carpentry status which meant he was now ten times faster.  He was fast enough, in fact, that if he was ever interrupted at the carpentry workshop I built at the wagon (before I realized it was next to the chasm), he could run faster than anything chasing him.
2) It gave him Legendary carpentry status, which meant he had the shortest possible loiter time at the workshop, also helping increase his lifespan.
3) I was now able to crank out all the bins, barrels, and beds I had the wood for (and then dissassemble the workshop and move it inside) in a single month and without endangering anyone else.
4) It was cheap, so I didn't have a tsunami of immigrants kill my entire food stock and cause a tantrum spiral (that happened two seasons later when I had back-to-back 40k-ish artifacts and the lack of cats meant a huge vermin problem).
5) I now had a bed with the King's name on it.

Too bad #4's caveat happened.