Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Axe27]

So, I locked in an elf merchant, and his buddy with their animals inside my trade depot.

Eventually, the elves and the donkey goes melancholy. The Camel fucking blows his lid and precedes to murder EVERYONE in the trade depot. So, I let him stay inside...

Human caravan shows up, okay. I let him out and dogpile him with three recruits. He kills the recruits (Who bruised his hump.), and charges at the caravan, who only put him down after he takes out one human (Who puts got his pike stuck in the hump of the bastard) and takes 5 seconds of bolts.

So, how do I prevent this same thing from happening again?

[inaluct]

Stop locking elves up. They feed their livestock growth hormones.

Preferably, make a long hallway full of retractable spikes at the entrance to your elf-closet. When something goes nuts, let it out into the hallway and pull the lever connected to the spikes.

[sbr]

So, I locked in an elf merchant, and his buddy with their animals inside my trade depot.

Eventually, the elves and the donkey goes melancholy. The Camel fucking blows his lid and precedes to murder EVERYONE in the trade depot. So, I let him stay inside...

Human caravan shows up, okay. I let him out and dogpile him with three recruits. He kills the recruits (Who bruised his hump.), and charges at the caravan, who only put him down after he takes out one human (Who puts got his pike stuck in the hump of the bastard) and takes 5 seconds of bolts.

So, how do I prevent this same thing from happening again?

Stop locking elves up. They feed their livestock growth hormones.

Preferably, make a long hallway full of retractable spikes at the entrance to your elf-closet. When something goes nuts, let it out into the hallway and pull the lever connected to the spikes.

This is honestly the funniest forum I have ever been on.

Comedy writers who get paid and have nothing else to do couldn't come up with better stuff than the average day in DF.

[BurnedToast]

I've always been partial to dumping magma on traders I don't like. It has the bonus side effect of burning up all that useless cloth garbage that I don't want anyway, and leaving only any iron/steel/platinum objects they might have brought which I can then smelt and make into expensive things for my treasure hoard.

There is the risk of fire, of course, but it's actually a pretty small risk - magma just destroys most things so there is nothing left to burn.