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[Jackrabbit]

wha? need explain!

[Doppel]

maybe you could bait the traps with pigtails socks, just for the irony.

Not unless its a large gem menacing with pigtail socks.
You could ofcourse bait the trap with mermaids, or can you?

[Random832]

To build what you want, you'll need to set up a ring out pumps, around the area you want to do it to. And continuously power them. Enjoy.

If the area can be sealed, you only need one pump to drain it. (of course, you need a ring of pumps to build under the water surface in the first place, but you can free up the material afterward)

[dresdor]

Instead of cage traps you could try pressure plates and raising drawbridges. You wouldn't need  to go get the mermaids they would be delivered right to your front door.

I bursted out laughing so hard at this that my dog woke up, came in the room, and looked at me like I'm an idiot.

Then proceeded to brag about how he has 27 kills on his kill list and is super-doggenly tough. 

[peekama]

I've never experimented with obsidian making, but couldn't you drop lava into the ocean to form a wall?  On the other hand it might just make a shower of rubble and debris.

If that did work though, you could completely wall off the north part of the ocean from the south, and dig a small trap in an artificial bay of your own.

[rubendevela]

I'd like a shot at this murmaider plan.
I embarked onto a good biome shoreline, and I see lots of unicorns walking around.
But no merfolk. Should I abandon the fortress or wait around a bit?

[Aqizzar]

You came here to harvest the bones of mermaids and you're complaining about a few unicorns?

Obviously you'll need to clear out the wildlife buffer by getting rid of the unicorns.  I shouldn't have to tell you what to do with them.

[Zorgn]

You came here to harvest the bones of mermaids and you're complaining about a few unicorns?

Obviously you'll need to clear out the wildlife buffer by getting rid of the unicorns.  I shouldn't have to tell you what to do with them.

Mount their heads on your walls?

[Nesoo]

I would try something like the ASCII diagram here, replacing the channel with a wall that divides the ocean in two. You can then make a chamber to fill with traps, have floodgates at either end of the "C" shape, then open those floodgates to the ocean. If the mermaids ever want to travel from one half to the other, they'd be forced to go through your traps. When they do, close the floodgates and use pumps to empty the chamber so your dwarves can retrieve them. You could even set up several such chambers with corresponding divider walls. Depending on the size of the ocean, this might be easier to do than making that funnel.

Of course, this kind of depends on mermaids roaming around the whole map. I haven't played any ocean forts yet, so I have no clue how they behave.

And yes, this whole thread made me actually laugh out loud, for a prolonged period of time

[JoshuaFH]

You know, one day when this game becomes uber-freakin'-famous and gets television coverage, you just know the that media are gonna find this thread. thats when the real hilarity starts.

[Traiden]

Not to shatter the dream or anything... The original "Little Mermaid" story... She dies in it, so DF is bringing it back to its roots.

[Neoskel]

I'd like a shot at this murmaider plan.
I embarked onto a good biome shoreline, and I see lots of unicorns walking around.
But no merfolk. Should I abandon the fortress or wait around a bit?

Is the ocean good? Oceans tend to be different alignments than the land they border.

[Doppel]

Wowsie, wait.
I checked modvalue of merperson and it has a whopping 50, as much as a Dragon! (it also produces 2 fat)
Oh boy, soap, here i come.

edit: err, how do you the fat out of them?

[JoshuaFH]

merpeople, the innocent and harmless goldmines of the sea.

[Zorgn]

innocent and harmless goldmines

Easier to exploit. Beats the hell out of honest work.