Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[filiusenox]

I once had a dwarf with the lower half of his body ripped off. Strange enough he survived for 3 years before he went berserk and tried to kill my adamantine spear wielding sheriff. Old leggy had his head impaled within 3 seconds of attacking.

[Nyxalinth]

Yeah, I've noticed that red lungs don't ever heal, and the dwarves just seem to shrug and go 'eh, I've got another'.

That's the Dwarfly way!

[Lalandrathon]

as their bases touch... i click forwards a few rounds.. and theres just a mass of limbs EVERYWHERE.. the archers pepper the leader full of arrows, but by now the captain is on the ground.. both legs off at the hip, left arm off at the shoulder, right arm off at the elbow, and both eyes torn out.

You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm and you haven't a leg,
You're an eyeless, boneless, chickenless egg,
You'll have to be put with a bowl to beg.
Urist, I hardly knew ya.

[Kate Wissen]

Just over a year ago I had the pleasure of finding a new use for rhesus macaques. You see I had a sealed fortress in which I ignored all caravans, ambushes and migrants. That did not stop them from coming. A horse on the outside of the fortress killed two of the dwarves and severely injured a third. All the other dwarves were crushed mysteriously by a drawbridge... All except for a child.

I left the injured and child to die eventually of whatever, and sure enough the child died, but the injured dwarf was still around. I decided to check on her.

http://mkv25.net/dfma/movie-931-monkeyman

She had lost her throat, but was not bleeding to death. Rather just getting constantly beaten by monkeys. One year later, she was still alive. But there was much less of her. All that was left on her body was half of her right arm, and her head, everything else was torn off.

When the monkeys were scared away by goblins or dwarves she died. I couldnt save her or help her in any way that would allow her to continue living without her monkey life support.

The original post:
http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=27060.0

[inteuniso]

 I'm a new player, so this may not be so horrifying to veterans.

I'm in my first year, and the dwarven caravan arrives without much trouble. We trade, they depart, I have cheese, dwarves rejoice. However, I have played a few previous fortresses, so I was wondering where my outpost liaison went.  I zoom to where she is, and see a wolf corpse nearby. It seems that the wolf must have attacked her, and the caravan guard quickly dispatched it. Not before, of course, ripping off the liaisons entire left arm, including the shoulder. Now, she slowly plods towards my fortress, falling unconscious every time she takes a step. I look forward to doing business with the Mountainhome.

[Radivnal]

as their bases touch... i click forwards a few rounds.. and theres just a mass of limbs EVERYWHERE.. the archers pepper the leader full of arrows, but by now the captain is on the ground.. both legs off at the hip, left arm off at the shoulder, right arm off at the elbow, and both eyes torn out.

You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm and you haven't a leg,
You're an eyeless, boneless, chickenless egg,
You'll have to be put with a bowl to beg.
Urist, I hardly knew ya.

This had me laughing -way- more than it should have...

Well played, sir. Well played.

[monkeyfetus]

This thread reminds me of Johnny Got His Gun.

[Clumsy Robot]

Long story short, the Skeletal Giant Eagle had its way with the Hunter.

I've been finding this thread sexy since page two.

[dogstile]

as their bases touch... i click forwards a few rounds.. and theres just a mass of limbs EVERYWHERE.. the archers pepper the leader full of arrows, but by now the captain is on the ground.. both legs off at the hip, left arm off at the shoulder, right arm off at the elbow, and both eyes torn out.

You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm, you haven't a leg, Ha-roo, Ha-roo,
You haven't an arm and you haven't a leg,
You're an eyeless, boneless, chickenless egg,
You'll have to be put with a bowl to beg.
Urist, I hardly knew ya.

Hahahaha, i'm so glad i know the song you re-uristed

[BodyGripper]

I had just started a fortress, and one of my workers was bedridden from some injury.  I don't remember the details, but I know the Upper Spine was in pretty bad shape.  Anyway, she wasn't too unhappy yet, although there was no chance anyone was ever going to find a way to bring her water.  I figured I'd just let her starve/dehydrate quietly.  A troglodyte who snuck in disagreed.

The troglodyte started attacking her in bed, and when I looked at her wounds, there was a lot of damage.  The thing that really caught my attention, though, was the fact that pretty much everything on her left side (where the attacker was standing) was mangled or broken, while the other side was lightly or moderately wounded.  It's like he just mauled half of her, and ignored the other half.

[XmasApe]

While the individual injuries were (relatively) minor, I had the most horrifying embark ever.

Wagon embarked right next to a band of rhesus monkeys - about a dozen, probably, I didn't count, just drafted my dwarfs and sent them into the fray to mess up the little thieves before they got away with anything.

These monkeys, though.....man, these monkeys were full of the Spirit of Armok that day. By the time it was over two of my dwarfs were dead, two had one eye each, and two more were completely blinded. Only a single dwarf escaped the skirmish unscathed, and the eye damage was the ONLY harm inflicted on my dwarfs.

By the time I'd played the fortress for five minutes I'd lost two dwarfs and six eyes. The omens were not good.

[Kittah_Khan]

In case people wonder about the lyrics.
Dropkick Murphys rendition : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKIocZ3WbgE

[Danjen]

It didn't happen to a dorf, but I had a wandering dog of mine bump into a goblin thief. "Oh good, that'll take care of him" I remember thinking at the time. No. No no no.

I see gibs appear, and check what it was: It was the dog's god damn head, 4 (literally) bloody squares away from the body. Wow.

[Maltay]

I was reading through my Legends today on a newly generated world and found an amazing champion.  First, let me establish that all mega beasts were modified to be size 100 instead of size 20.

This champion spent her entire adult career hunting mega and semi mega beasts.  Before dying of old age in the town of her birth, she managed to kill 4 Cyclops, 2 Minotaurs, 1 Hydra, 1 Skeletal Dragon, and 2 Titans.  The amazing part is that she started her career by losing her left eye to the Hydra.  She lost her right eye to the same Hydra 10 years later, and lost her left arm from the shoulder down to the Skeletal Dragon about 100 years later.

The crowning achievement of her career, after pursuing half the mega and semi mega beasts on her list with one arm and totally blind, was finally taking down the Hydra on their third encounter.  She apparently lost both legs in this final ordeal, at long last ending her string of escapades, but for the record, she still managed to kill the Hydra and survive.

Strangely, her younger brother also lost his left eye to the same Hydra on that first encounter when he was a guard.  However, instead of seeking revenge and hunting mega and semi mega beasts, he immediately quit the guard, joined the priesthood, and started worshiping the Hydra.  Funny that...

[Urist Imiknorris]

Ah, sibling rivalry at its dwarfiest.